Red: Hey readers, its time for another chapter! Nokachi is in some kind of a slump, for whatever reason, so me and my wonderful boyfriend-

Nokachi: BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!

Black: What the hell is with you?

Nokachi: *whimpers in his emo corner*

Red: Mewtwo, you can read minds, what's up with him.

Mewtwo: Uhhh… well… maybe I should hold off on that until the end of the chapter…

Red: FINE! Baby, want to do the disclaimer?

Black: Okay! Nokachi, the emo bastard, doesn't own anything you are about to read.

Nokachi: EXCEPT MY SADNESS! WAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAAAAAAA!

Black: Erm… uh… okay then… This will presumably contain some yaoi, just like almost all of the other chapters, so prepare for that. This is usually where Nokachi has some sarcastic, witty quip… I'm not very good at that, so… see you guys in the closer!


Green's POV

Doodooodoo I'm eatin' an apple doodoodoo- Hey, there is a knock at the door! I wonder who this may be?

"Why hello, sir, who may you be?"

"I'm one of Black's friends, may I come in?"

"Well certainly I'll go-" I was interrupted by seeing black halfway out of his and Red's room, signaling me to go over there. "Uhhh… I'll be back… go get comfortable on the couch, watch some TV." And I sprinted off to their room."

"What's up? He's just one of your friends."

"He's NOT!" Black shouted. "He's… he's my ex boyfriend…"

"Ohhhh… what do we do?"

"Tell him I'm in the shower or something."

"Alright, you just stay quiet, but you will need to get out of the shower, I'll distract him, you come up with something to say to him."

"But I don't want to talk to him."

"You are going to have to deal with this eventually."

"No I won't! After this competition, I'm moving in with Red!"

"If he followed you here, who say's that he wouldn't follow you to Kanto?"

"He only walked five blocks to get here, I think cross-continental travel is a little over-zealous, even for Cheren."

"You know what? I'll just talk him out of here." Red suggested

"..would you really?"

"I'd do anything for you, you're my boyfriend."

"Thanks baby!" Black embraced Red for a hug, and a quick, yet quite lusty kiss… wait… why did I did I notice that 'lusty' part? After the kiss, Red started talking again. "I really don't want to cause any trouble, so I'll just take him into a soft landing, and I'll work in the whole 'we're dating' information in later."

"Good luck Red, I love you."

"I love you too."


LATER, FURTHER IN RED'S CONVERSATION WITH CHEREN…

Red's POV

"So, how did you meet Black, Red? Both you and Green have very high titles. You, the Kanto-Johto champion, and Green, the Viridian City gym leader, and ex champion. How did you stumble across Black?"

Okay Red, now's the time to weave in the fact that we're a couple… "Actually, Black and I are dating."

"Oh, so he has himself a new boy toy…" Wait… what?

"Wait… what?"

"Oh, I guess he hasn't started yet…"

"What are you talking about?"

"He was…" It looked like he was on the verge of tears. "He… hit me… he was abusive. After a while, I tried to get away from him, I tried dating new people, but he always dragged me back in. He was fine in the beginning, he was nice, got me flowers, told me he- *sniff* he… loved me… But I fell for it, even though my friends knew about him, they warned me, but I didn't listen. I was convinced that he changed… but I was wrong…"

"Oh… Oh my god… He did that?"

"Some of the bruises still haven't gone away… they just constantly remind me of him… I try to forget, but he wont let me! I came here to break it off, to tell him that I'm moving far away from Isshu, to end this once and for all. Look, he even left me some fresh ones before he left for here." After he said that, he lifted up his shirt, revealing numerous scratches and bruises.

"B…But… Excuse me, I just remembered *sniff* I have somewhere to be." And I charged out of the room, bawling. Maybe I'll go over and stay with Yellow, I really need someone as cheerful as her right now.


Black's POV

"CHEREN!" I charged out of my room, after hearing Red run off. "YOU… YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? YOU JUST CAN'T LET ME BE HAPPY, CAN YOU?"

"Well, Black, at least you can take solace in the fact that I'm not after you anymore. Your boyfriend- Erm… EX boyfriend is a way better trophy than you. So I'll attempt to get him on the rebound, you have a nice life."

"Wait… I'm confused… so what's going on." Green asked in confusion.

"He was talking out of his ass, Green, it was all bullshit to get Red away from me." I answered. "By the way, where did you get those scratches, Cheren?"

"On the way here, I was attacked by a security guard's growlithe, the little bastard gave me quite a few scratches, but I dispatched it eventually with mijumaru. Well, not to cut this touching occasion short, but if you'll excuse me, I have a champion to find." Cheren said, while walking out of the room. As he shut the door, I broke down.

"Don't worry, Black, everything will be fine. I'll help you get back with Red."

"R-really?"

"Of course! But… sadly, I'm not very good at this relationship stuff… do you know anyone who is?

"Yeah… but she's a bit of a gossip."


LATER, IN FRONT OF WHITE'S ROOM…

"I… I don't know if I can do this…"

"If it helps you're case of being sad and depressed, just remember that Red hates you, and never wants to see you again."

"BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! Thanks… you bastard." Green ducked behind a near corner as the door opened.

"I heard a yell! Oh, Black! Long time, no see buddy, how long has it been, two days?"

"Uhhh… aren't you wondering why I'm on my knees, crying?"

"I would, if this wasn't the 87th time this year that you were at my doorstep sobbing, now come inside, lets talk." and she ushered me in.

"So. Black, what's wrong?" She asked, bringing me over to her couch.

"Well, its Cheren… as usual."

"Wait… how? Isn't he back in our hometown?"

"No… he somehow got himself here and… he made my boyfriend break up with me…" I could feel the tears coming on again.

"You have a new boyfriend? Its been two days! I was right, you are a man whore."

"That is BESIDE the point, so… remember when you left with Blue and Crystal on the first day? After you left, I joined Green and Red's team."

"Red? That guy you were going on about? I have a feeling that I know where this story is going…"

"So… that night, me and Red… to say the least, we kissed, and have been going out since."

"And Cheren got you two to break up?"

"That's the long and short of it. Can you help me out?"

"Well… I'm gonna need to call in the girls on this one… BLUE, CRYS! GET OUT HERE!"

"Whaaaaaat? I was trying to sleep." Blue answered, groggily stumbling towards the couch, Crys in tow.

"My gay best friend here is having relationship problems, and we are going to solve them."

"Why should I care?" Blue asked.

"Because, as it turns out, Red's gay, and now YOU can have your own gay best friend when this is over."

"…Really?"

"Oh yes… but you need to help first. Now… we need to find Red first, so that we can get Black to apologize. I say we call around to all the other chicks, see if they've seen him."

"Why just the chicks?" I asked.

"Because THIS is the first place you came, the only 'all chicks' room."

"…Good point…"


MEANWHILE, AT YELLOW'S ROOM…

"I just… can't believe that… t-that... BWAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAA!" Red was in tears, sitting with Yellow in her bedroom.

"It's okay Red, let it all out." Yellow comforted.

"Look 'ere Emr'ld, we have stumbled across the wild 'omosexual." Gold said, dressed like a guy from National Geographic, taking pictures.

"Would you get out of here?" Yellow snapped.

"But what about the 'omo- OWWW!" Yellow smacked Gold upside the head. Then reached for one of her poke balls.

"Golosk! Come on out!" Yellow released her Golem. "Now, I'm giving you guys a five second head start, after that, I'll let Golosk here do whatever he wants to you. 5..."

"Oh, c'mon Yellow, we're just messing around."

"4... 3..."

"Okay, FINE! Lets go Emerald." Gold walked off in a huff, Emerald in tow.

"... 2... 1, Okay Golosk, make momma proud!"

"GOLEM! (ME WILL CRUSH THIER SKULLS!)"

"Golosk, no skull crushing until the third date... just give them a savage beating."

"Gol... (Fine... will only crush other bones.)" And he stumbled out, and did a rollout on Emerald and Gold, who were still hangining out in the hallway.

"Alright Red, lets- Oh… my phone, I'll take this in the other room, you just stay put, alright?"

"O… *sniff*… okay…" Yellow walked out, and Red crumpled up on the bed, and sobbed into a pillow.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Yellow. It's White, by any chance, have you seen Red?"

"Yes but… he's kinda in a bit of a slump right now."

"I know, Black told me all about it. Listen, I know if Red has been talking to you, he may have painted Black as a bit of a bad dude, but trust me, someone is fucking with Red's head. Oh, and that reminds me, do NOT let someone named 'Cheren' near him, he's the ringmaster behind this whole thing."

"You sound like you've done this before."

"Black has had a lot of trouble with this guy in the past. Now… here's what were gonna do to cheer Red up…"


Mewtwo: Oh, Black, the thing he was sad about was breaking you two up.

Black: I KNOW!

Nokachi: I'm sorry, but if I didn't throw in any drama, this story would just get boring. I'll try to patch everything up as quickly as possible.

Black: You hear that, honey, everything will be alright.

Red: BWAAAAAAAAAAHAAAHAAAAAAAAAA!

Black: You better get everything solved within the next chapter, or I'll break your skull open… with fire… from the inside… slowly…

Nokachi: *gulp* Well… uhhh… I don't own Pokemon, or it's characters… because if this was canon, Black would kill me… Thank god for me owning nothing. *wipes sweat off forehead*