Chapter Nine.

I was finally by her door, but I felt nothing but guilty. How could I do this to her? I promised her! I was standing outside her door, gathering energy enough to pretend but ended up counting my breaths.

I finally rang the doorbell and I didn't have to wait long for her to come. She opened the door and was all smiles. Her smile was, like always, contagious, and my faked smile turned into a real one. (Isn't it weird how one person can do that to you?) She pulled me into a hug and mumbled a 'hi' into my neck. I giggled and pulled out of the hug and answered her with a 'hi' back.

We had been in her room for quite some time talking about this and that. It was like what I had done hadn't happened. Of course, she didn't know it had happened, but I did. I tried my best to keep those guilt-filled thoughts out of my head.

It worked until I accidentally hit my wrist against her desk. I had to hold in a scream, it hurt sooo bad. I must have hit the deepest cut. Demi noticed my weird expression that was plastered on my face instead of me screaming out my pain.

"Are you OK?" she got up from her bed and started to walk towards me.

"No! I mean, yes. I'm fine." Nice going, stupid. "I just need to…" As I said the last sentence I had already made my way to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and sat down on the floor.

Stupid guilt-filled feelings! LEAVE ME ALONE!!

They slowly started to fade away as I tried to think of something else. I stood up and stared at the reflection of myself in the mirror.

"Ugh…"

I turned my head and walked towards the door and opened it, finding Demi with worry all over her face.

"Are you sure you're OK?" she asked and stood in front of me, looking me in the eyes.

"Yes, I'm OK. I just, uh, stomach ache." I'm great with making up excuses, aren't I? NOT.

I smiled at her, and she returned it with her trademark smile. She pulled me into a hug and held me close for a while before releasing me and going down on her knees.

"What ar-" She shushed me and brought my shirt up a bit. She then started to put soft kisses on my stomach, mumbling something about that my pain would go away. I couldn't concentrate anymore, and my knees started to buckle, but she put her hands on my waist, holding me up. She got up on her feet again and backed me towards the bed. Luckily this was her room and not mine, otherwise we would have tripped on a bazillion things. Her room was always clean, never anything on the floor. Except the mat…

Back to reality, which was like a fantasy at the moment. I had never seen Demi's eyes so lustful. I felt the bed against my legs and I sat down on it. Demi followed down and I started crawling backwards against the headboard. She crawled along and her lips were just inches away from mine. She closed the distance between our lips and started to run her hands along my body. After a few soft kisses she gently caressed my lower lip with her tongue, asking for entrance, which I gladly granted. Our tongues battled for what seemed like forever, but oxygen became a need and we pulled apart. Demi's lips only found their way down to my neck and she gently started kissing and sucking on it. Then she did something I wish she hadn't done. She took my wrists and put them above my head against the bed. I couldn't hold in an 'ouch', and she quickly pulled away.
"What is it?" she asked, her eyes wondering to my left wrist. Her face became sad and she sat down next to me on the bed. I took my wrist to my face to look at it, and I saw a red stain.

Blood.

Ugh. I sat up on the bed, slightly behind her. Even though her back was facing me I could see she was crying.

"Demi, I'm sorry…"

"You-, you promised me." She said through her sobs. "You promised me you'd stop."

"I know, and I'm s-" She cut me off.

"Doesn't a promise mean anything to you?" She had now turned around and was looking me straight in the eye.

"Of course it does, I just-" She cut me off again.

"You just what, Selena? You just thought you could cut without me knowing? You must have known I would find out one day! And what if that day I found out was the day that you cut way to deep and bled to death?! One wrong cut and you're gone! Can't you see what danger you're putting yourself in?!" Her voice had gotten stronger with every word.

I was near tears by now. What the hell have I gotten myself into?! I let a tear roll down my cheek as I turned back to Demi. She waited for me to speak as she let her own tears fall down onto the bed.

"I can't stop, Demi." I looked her in the eyes. "I can't stop."

"What do you mean you 'can't stop'?"

"I mean it has became an addiction. I can't stop… Demi…" I let all my tears fall. "I need help." By that, she took me in her arms and held me close, whispering that 'everything would be OK.'

I was having a hard time believing it, but in her arms, I felt a little hope for myself growing.

I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I/I

A/N: So, I decided to end it there. But I do have thoughts about a sequel, not sure yet. What do you think? :)

I'm sorry for not updating, but I have my reasons. I've been really depressed lately, and I've had a really hard time with school. I feel better now though, so I hope I will get back to writing Demena fanfics. I have actually a couple ideas written down, so maybe I'll post a few oneshots or something like that in the near future. :) Expect something 'here we go again'ish, + some cool (at least in my head they are…) ideas. Oh, and one story that I've gotten started a little with was actually inspired by me when I was really depressed. (Like a week ago…) But it's definitely not my life, it's Selena's. Muohahaha. (why is it always Selena I wanna write problems about?:S) FANFIC! Not real life, duh.

Thx for reading this story, and I hope you liked it! :)