Sorry for the wait, I've got so many phics they end up taking turns.

If I havent said it before, yes the title of this "Since I've Been Loving You" is a Led Zeppelin song from their third album. I am an utter Led Zeppelin fanatic when I'm not being a whacked up Phan. So in titling a Phic with a Led Zeppelin song I have combined to two things i love more than anything else in the world. I'm clever aren't I?

Just read the damn phic


Chapter Nine

"No" Erik said bluntly and Christine's face fell.

"Why ever not?" she asked and he turned from her, fiddling with his shirt buttons.

"Because the last thing I need is to draw more attention to myself" he said finally and she sighed in exasperation.

"You have a good voice Erik; think about it. If you sing in front of the school all the girls will be dying to have you" she exclaimed and Erik looked at her sceptically.

"Cause you know, girls love scars...oh and deformities too" he said sarcastically, a grimace entering his face "forget it Christine, I don't want our help"

"Wait!" she cried, flinging her hand upon his shoulder and he turned to look at her, a cynical look upon his face "Have you ever heard of Michael Crawford?"

Erik nodded "Yeah he was in a pile of musicals in the eighties; why?"

"Well he's sixty now and still sings beautifully. Sixty, married, wrinkly and yet sixteen year old girls would die for him" she said and he raised the one visible eyebrow.

"Sorry Christine but no"


Why didn't you just say yes?

Oh shut up

No, think about it. She might've been right

Yes and she might've caught leprosy

Oh please, get over your ridiculous damaged ego and maybe listen to someone other than your own strange conscious

You just insulted yourself...you are my conscious

No, I'm thing only thing that keeps this thing going. Without me you'd collapse in a bundle of tears.

Whatever, I didn't want to anyway; I prefer playing to singing.

Now we both know that's a lie

Fine, maybe I do like singing, but not that sort of thing.

Fine, just ignore the fact that your heart leapt at singing a duet with her, ignore the fact you wanted it so badly you refused

Nothing ever goes right for me; why should that change now?


"I'm so annoyed, I keep asking Mr Fowsen for a chance at a solo, I've been harassing him for a year now over it. I finally get one and we lose our only the decent tenor, the only fallback refusing to sing" Christine grumbled and Raoul squeezed her hand.

"Why don't you ask him again? He probably didn't realise what a big deal it is; from the sound of it you must've surprised him, he might've even taken the wrong way-thinking you were mocking him or something" Raoul offered and Christine bit her lip.

"Maybe, I don't think I explained it too well. I might ask him again" she mused and Raoul nodded, hugging her to him.

"See, it'll work out; he'll come through." He reassured her and she smiled.

"I hope so" she sighed and Raoul shrugged.

"And if not can't you just get Mr Fowsen to get a solo piece for you, not a duet" he asked and she rolled her eyes.

"I've tried that-he's pretty opposed to solos so getting a mere duet was hard. But I'll see what I can do"


"Erik, are you sure you don't want to sing the duet?" Christine asked after arriving to last period music early. Sitting at the table Erik looked up at this repeated request, surprised to see her early, normally so disorganised.

"Christine, I just don't feel comfortable. May come as a shock to you but I'm not too fond of the spotlight" Erik said nastily and Christine's mood changed completely. Her face becoming stormy she folded her arms and sat down in the seat right next to Erik, mere inches away from him.

"Well you know what I think Erik?" she snarled "I think you want it, you want to have a chance to prove yourself, to have the limelight and for people to like you, you crave it, badly, secretly" slowly the colour fell from Erik's face "But you're afraid; you're afraid of further rejection, of failure. But even more; you're afraid of being good, of people liking you, it's something so little experienced by you, you end up craving and fearing it at the same time. That's why you sit by yourself in all your classes, that's why you turn up to parties and hang in the corners, not talking or socialising, that's why you hang up here in the music building where no one bothers you. That's why you refuse to sing"

Erik opened his mouth but no words came out, Mr Hawkinson walked in, doing a double take seeing the two of them so close together, tension filling up the room.

"Sorry guys if I'm interrupting anything but we have a lesson" he said and the two instantly shot apart, immediately babbling about nothing suss was going, nothing was happening to be interrupted. My Hawkinson smiled.

"Of course guys; now copy down these notes on the impressionists" barked Mr Hawkinson as others began to enter the room. Erik glared at Christine who glared back as they began to copy down the notes off the white board.


"Mr Fowsen I talked to Erik about the duet" Christine said irritably and Mr Fowsen turned to her.

"Oh? And?" he asked and she rolled her eyes.

"He refused, twice. I've actually arranged a version of Queen's 'Somebody to Love' for soprano and choir, maybe we could make it a solo-" Christine asked and Mr Fowsen cut her off.

"Christine, I've already decided on a new song for the choir since he is unable to perform; Hallelujah from Handel's Messiah oratorio. It has one soprano solo which you may have" he said, as if it was a reward and Christine frowned.

"But that's only several bars! Mr Fowsen I desperately need to gain experience, my HSC is next year and-" but he cut her off once more.

"Miss DaaƩ I think you'll find I'm being quite lenient" he said sharply and disappeared back into the music staffroom, closing the door on her face.

"Argh!" Christine stomped her feet in frustration, aware of the fact that she looked like a child having a tantrum to others in the corridor, storming off in anger.

As Christine left the music building she bumped unluckily into Erik.

"Oh" she said irritably "It's you. I now have no solo thanks Erik" she fumed and he raised one eyebrow.

"So because I wasn't able to help you blame me. And all that talk about how I do want to, trying to get to me. I thought you were trying to help me, but it was just a trick to help yourself get in for a solo. Guess what Christine; not everyone falls for your innocent girl act and not everyone likes you. Deal with your own shit" he said angrily, annoyed that he thought he once liked her.

"Oh fuck you Erik. I tried being nice when no one else would. And to let you know; I was being sincere. I can be a lying bitch but that wasn't. Don't be so quick to condemn people trying to help" she spat and he laughed.

"Help? You're only looking out for number one, no matter what you do. Everything you do must benefit you; helping me at the party? Made you look like a saint. You can't see past your own reflection and you don't even know it" he laughed and she raised one eyebrow.

"At least I have the guts to look at my own reflection! Part of you're lack of friends isn't your face; you make yourself a freak by wearing that fucking mask then blame your face for any rejection you face! Fuck Erik. Go to hell for all I care" she yelled and shoved past him, determined to get out of his presence.

But Erik would not have it, grabbing her by the shoulders and holding her with such force she couldn't move.

"You think it's easy like this?" he hissed into her ear bitterly "Being born the way I was? My own mother turned to heroin because of me. All her friends would constantly tell me she was anti drug and mentally stable until I was born. Now she's a mess having been in rehab twice with no avail. Because of me. Why am I here in Sydney? Social worker got wind of what was happening and sent me to live with my aunt, whom I hardly see. You think I bring it all on myself?" she began to shake, twisting from his grip, which tightened immensely.

"You're hurting me" she moaned but he pulled her to him.

"My father is dead, my mother a mess; because of me. And you think I brought it on myself? That somehow my subconscious is twisted enough to make people hate me? Fuck off Christine; you have no fucking idea"

Releasing her he stormed off, leaving the girl shaken and furious.


Reviews please!