How OOC Can You Get?
Disclaimer: In this fic, I own Raeynne, Estelena, Amowiel, Ohen-Briam, and Magdeleniana. Who wants them? Anyone? Please?
Orrin took the book and turned the page to look at chapter seven. He gulped again and began to read.
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Amowiel looked around the room as she walke dbak into the infirmary, The meeting had been a scuccues. She was glad she'd been able to convince Raeynne t oget Estelena. She barely knew her sister, but she knew she'd like her. She was the best.
Yes, Raeynn e has much to learn. It's a sahme they can't all be like Estelena and you, Magdeleniana said.
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"You know, if Raeynne stays like she is, I won't mind her so much," Katrina remarked.
"Really?" Roran asked. "I mean, I've stared to dislike her less since last chapter."
Katrina stared at him.
"I mean, she hasn't done anything to me yet," Roran stuttered, "and hopefully those things won't convince her to, and…" Roran seemed to be running out of things to say.
"You managed to convince an entire village to follow you how?" Trianna asked.
"I was good at that!" he said. "Oh, and I did it for Katrina. Thanks, Trianna."
Katrina hugged him. "I forgive you," she said.
"May I continue reading?" Orrin asked politely.
"Look, if you want to read over them, you have to scream," Angela advised.
"How would you know?" Murtagh asked. "You haven't had to read yet."
Angela smiled. "I'm reading next," she said, her smile vanishing at the thought.
Orrin took a deep breath and began to read again.
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Amowiel then opened the door of the infirmary, and welaked in. Murtag was still asleep. She looked down at his face. He was tossing and turning in the bed, and it looked like he was having a nightmare.
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The real Murtagh was staring at the heavens as though asking for deliverance. It didn't come.
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She put a pale, gentle white hand on his shoulder. He wawoke with a start, and clamed down immdeidiately at the site of her face. Well, alcmd down enough to start crying.
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"I DON'T CRY BECAUSE OF NIGHTMARES!" Murtagh screamed. "I AM NOT A PANSY!"
Orrin started to scream the next scene at the top of his lungs so that he could be heard over Murtagh.
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"What is it, Taggy-hunny?" Estelena asked.
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"TAGGY HUNNY?" Murtagh repeated. "That's almost as bad as Eri-munchkins. I hate Amowiel."
"Join the club. Arya made jackets," Nasuada said. "Besides, at least she thinks she can spell your name."
Murtagh put his hands over his face and said, "Continue," in a very dejected voice.
"You know, this is actually quite amusing," Orrin remarked. He should have been thanking his lucky stars looks couldn't kill instead.
"Just wait until she mutilates your character beyond belief and has you do something you would never do," Trianna said.
"Does caving like a plate of wet spaghetti count?" Orrin asked.
"I don't think that was out of character," Murtagh mumbled.
Orrin pretended not hear him.
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"Nightmare," he mumbled. "I had a dream aobut the night I got my scare."
"Oh," she said, pulling off his tunic. "You mean, this scar?"
ShE carresed it lightly. Murtagh takcedl her to the bed.
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Orrin's eyes went as wide as the plates that hold spaghetti.
"Wh-wh-why are you doing that with her? Oh, dear gods. This is disgusting!" Orrin yelled.
"Welcome to my world," Orik said. "I had to read the first one of those scenes."
"And you chose to read it aloud, despite our protests," Arya added.
Orik sighed. "It was because of your protests that I read it aloud. I wasn't going to suffer something like that alone."
"Don't give him ideas," Nasuada whispered.
"Well, I think I'll go with the dwarf on this one," Orrin said, gulping slightly.
He then read the obscene scene, even going as far as to mimic the voices.
"This is interesting," Angela remarked under her breath as Orrin continued reading. She and Orrin were the only people who were still in their chairs. The rest were in various stages of cowering. Orik was actually trying to break the window so that he could use it as an escape route.
"Orik, you need that book for it," Arya said, seizing the offending object from Orik and hurling it at the window. It bounced back and hit Orrin on the head for the second time today, this time while he was in the middle of reading the "scene."
"Arya Svit-kona, could you do me an immense favor and never throw that book again?" Orrin asked once he'd regained consciousness.
The elf nodded and sat down after handing the book to Orrin.
"Your majesty, I had no idea you had such strong glass," Angela remarked as she examined the hospital window.
"I noticed," he mumbled, rubbing the second bump on his forehead. "Oh, great. Now I have to reread this scene to find my place. I guess I'll just start at the beginning."
"Arya," Murtagh said. "Never throw the book again."
Thus the group was subjected to an overdone reading once again.
"Oh great," Orrin said. "There's more."
"NO!" everyone else screamed simultaneously.
"I meant the chapter's not over yet," Orrin said.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
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As Murtag and Amowiel lay baksing in the awfter flow of love (The real Murtagh made a disgusted sound here.), Amowiel opened her perfectly shaped red mouth and said, "Oh, by the way, my sister and Eragon are coming to resuce us as soon as my sister's dragon gest big enough."
"Oh," Murtag saids, "that sound nice. When?"
"I dunno how long it'll take. Ohen- Briam sounds pretty impressive, so It should only be a few motnshs," she said.
"What's your sis'ter's name?" Murtag asked.
"Estelena," Amowiel answered.
"oh," MUrtag said, "I like Amowiel better."
"Aw111111111" Amowiel said.
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"Why did you say 11111111?" Eragon asked.
Trianna leaned across several people to say, "Sues sometimes use this thing called chat speak. I don't know why it's called that because nobody says 111111111, but it's apparently a substitute for exclamation points."
"Well, nobody puts eight exclamation points in a sentence anyway," Arya said with a snort.
"An elf snorted?" Murtagh asked.
"Near miracle," Nasuada said.
"Will you all get off my back? You throw one hissy fit! ONE!" Arya said.
"I take it back," Trianna said. "Some people do say one one one."
Arya went to grab the book from Orrin.
"People," the Surdan king said, "why don't we all stop harassing the poor elf? She's been given a harder time than anyone else from what I've heard."
"You're right," Eragon said.
"I'm sorry, Arya," Nasuada added.
The rest of the group continued to apologize. Arya looked mollified.
"Sire, continue," the elf said. Nasuada opened her mouth to say something, and Arya cut her off by saying, "You all just laughed at my expense. That makes me the executive until this chapter is over."
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This of course led to another "seession." Here'w what happened.
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Orrin read this just as he had read the last one.
"Two in a chapter?" Murtagh exclaimed. "This is unbelievable."
"We'll make you the executive," Nasuada offered.
"I am not giving up my position," Arya shouted.
For some reason, Murtagh and Roran found this line very funny.
"She's corrupted me," Roran said weakly as Murtagh suppressed his snort.
Oh, this is sad, Solembum said. This story has indeed brought the pride of Alagaësia low.
"I thought I was the bane of Alagaësia," Murtagh said.
"Well, you killed our king, work for the enemy king, and you once served the Varden. What does everyone else make of that?" Orik said.
"I thought we agreed not to discuss treason during the reading. We'll discuss it later," Nasuada put in. "Orrin, continue."
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Meanwhile, bkac in Surda, Estelena was getting ready for bed. She ha djust pulled off her nightgown when she heard a knock on her door.
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"NO!" Eragon screamed.
"Eragon, I don't think even she would do three 'scenes' in a chapter," Trianna said, sounding rather unconvinced.
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"Oh, come in Gon-Wonny," Estelena said brightly. Lifehad been looking up since she'd ofund out that she had a sister. Eragon had left to go on a mission to Ellesméra, and Estelena was to join him in a week's time. . (A/N: there gonna meet up 2 go rescue murty and amowiel there) This had made her sad, and she missed him. Maybe he'd come to say one last good-bye?
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"I suppose she couldn't leave without describing the good-bye," Trianna said dully. "Honestly, three scenes in one chapter."
"Hey, who read them?" Orrin asked.
"You," Trianna sighed.
"Finally, someone who understands the predicament I was in chapter 2," Orik exclaimed.
"Indeed I do," Orrin said. "That was all of these people's first scene, and the first scene in this chapter was my scene. Well, I suppose I'd better down to it."
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The door opened, but it wasn't Gonny-Wonny. It was that king of Surda dude. (A/N: wht's his name?)
"What are you doing here?" Estelena asked.
"You were so beautiful I oculdn't let you go," Orrin said, coming towards her. Estlena tried to dodge him but he caught her around the waist and began to kiss her. He was surprisingly good, but ya know, who is?
Estlena felt something strange stripping awy her inhibitions. Oh well. It served Eri-munchkins right for leaving her here alone.
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Eragon's mouth dropped open.
"I can honestly say I'm glad she's such a cheating hussy," he exclaimed happily.
"I can't," Orrin said. "Do I really have to read this scene? The chapter ends after it's over."
"We all had to hear about me," Murtagh said. "Bear it."
Orrin grimaced and soldier on through the disturbing saga of his scene.
"Well, at least that's the end," Angela said, looking over his shoulder. "Your majesty, why is there more written after the scene? You weren't by any chance trying to get out of reading, were you?"
Orrin whimpered under the scary herbalists glare and began to read the end.
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Estelena woke up in the morning wondering what had happened last night. She looked over and saw the king of Surda sleeping next to her.
"Ah!" she shriekd."WTF are you doing here?"
"Um," he said. He'd used a charm on her to make her susceptible tohis small charms and he'd been supposed to leave in the morning so that she wouldn't know what would happen.
"well?" she demanded. "What did you do to me to make me cheat on Gonny-Wonny?"
Yeah! Ohen-Briam's voice reverberated in his head.
"Um," Orrin repeated.
They found his mutitlated corpse outside the castle the next oning. Estelena didn't wince a bit at the sight of the prev's blood. She had an unnaturally strong stomach, and he'd deserved what he'd gotten. Eri-munchkins would forgive her. It wasn't as though it had been her fault.
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"Actually, it is half your fault," Orrin remarked to the book, "and it's entirely the author's fault for writing it in the first place. At least I'm not alive in the story to be tortured anymore. Well, I suppose I'll read her response to people now."
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Lady Exile: U fucking dream crusher. Heh. Sarcas. U r just jealous, and emo's are gross.
Banasrokk: in da words of shoes: oh. Oh. Oh. O. Btw, bitch, fuck u. fuck u. fuck u.
Cornelia Claier Chase: NO, it make me there salvation.
QueenOfTheUnknown: thts a lie. Stop it wit the five year old insults I'm nut making every1 ooc. Dey act exactly like dey do in da book an d amowiel doesn't look like estelena
Ailan: So do i. Who wouldn't tho? Deyr so awesome. I dunno WTF is up wit da flamerz. Thanks.
Dodogrrl: dodos r dumb cause u liked the hack chapter tht had gon-gon wit his own bro. PERV! Wht's grammer matter? Raeynne is mi worst charry. Shes got problems, and those rn't good. Da twist was 2 dramatic. U just didn't see it cuase u r stupid.
EragonzbedbudE: Yay! Thanks so much. U rok.
Azulcat: yes, I did, and iw on't let it go away ever again cause I changed my password
Stripysockz: Perfect is 2 good. Raeynne is the only flawed charry, and shes bad casue of tht. Estelena and Amowiel r nt bullys. Raeynne was just bing hopeling.
Kitty and Amethyst: eW. Christian! (A/N: I am Christian. I'm just making Eragon Ridher seem worse.) WTF is the 6th commandment thingy? U didn't say so. I bet it dosn'te exist. Hah! Arya is so worse a sue than Estelena and Amowiel.
Darth Vyper: mi penname is spelled how I wanna spell it. STFU! Im nut a bad riter. WTF? Wht's a troll?
Izumi-chan: Bithc! Fuck off.
MarySues Not War: Thanks. Aw. U like me. U really like me. Yays!
Adrianrod Svit-kona Sama: Sarcams is stopid.
Rock Not War: Dis is nut pron. I won't stop writing. Wht about free speech?
Ketaki Song: Only 2 flamerz. It is 2 luv. Wht do u no abou tluv? Incest is wrong. End of story.
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"And that," Orrin said, "is the end of that disturbing chapter. Angela, take what's coming to you."
Angela looked at the book. "I suppose I'll take this new hack," she said.
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Yeah, I know that chapter was somewhat short. I had to torture Orrin randomly. Who cares about plot in Eragon Ridher's story anyway? It's not like it's supposed to have one.
Bananasrokk: Thanks. I loved writing the two hissy fits. I decided to have Eragon Ridher be a blonde who brings the rest of the people with that hair color down. Plus, I have hair that's almost black, and she's supposed to be my alter-ego, so I made her my polar opposite. I just come up with it randomly. Every time I see an opportunity to insert a "scene" I do. I think up lines I want to use, and I use them whenever I can. Write an excruciating hack. I need it.
LadyExile: Thanks so much. I'm glad you like the character reactions. I think Arya's and Orrin's reactions are the most fun to do.
Cornelia Claire Chase: Yeah, I got it, and I liked it.
QueenOfTheUnknown: Thanks. I'm glad you liked Arya reading. Yeah, the reviews for My Immortal was funny. Her friend, xxxbloodykisses666xxx, wrote one called Bring Me to Life. It's worse if that's possible. Yeah, I won't ever actually reveal her password. Those'll be what she uses though. And as you know, I never mind it if people flame Eragon Ridher, though she does.
Ailan: Thanks so much. It doesn't matter if you don't write. I still appreciate your reviews, and Eragon Ridher loves your false praise because she doesn't realize it's false.
Greythorne Girl: Thanks. Hey, I am not the perverted one. That's Eragon Ridher.
Amaris: Yeah, Eragon and Murtagh have it the worst. They're the lust objects of the Sues Well, here's the next update. I hope you enjoy.
BobMcBobinton: That's fine. I'm glad you like it, and I'm glad you reviewed. No, I wasn't the one who flamed you. I'm not upset at you anymore. I mean, you apologized. It's over. Did they say you'd flame them before? I don't know. Sorry that someone did.
Anonymous: Yeah, I don't blame you about that. I was really sad when I realized that Teh Saviuor of Alagaesha was better than My Immortal, but it is. I'll just turn to that one for inspiration if I need it. I mean, it's barely a Harry Potter story. I added chats speak in her ANs and reviews. I'm glad you like the reactions.
Dodogrrl: Yeah, I think this chapter had the most horrors. Yeah, they were traumatized. May I hear Trianna's journal entry next? Oh dear. Nasuada was fantasizing. Not as badly as Murtagh, but she's more proper than he is. Yeah, I think Trianna is one of those people who would stand up to her. I'm glad you liked the tension. I don't know where the big feet thing came from, but it came.
Azulcat: I'm glad you liked it. I tried to think of as many bad insults as I could. Every once in a while a really bad misspelling of her name comes to me.
Za Webmaster Authoress: Thanks. If Eragon Ridher exploded, I wouldn't have a story. I don't think I could think up another Suethor. Well, not for this story at least. Abby gave up slash for Lent. She can't get an account until after that unless she writes non slash, which she could do. I'll tell her to get an account. She told me about a good idea for LotR fiction.
Stripysockz: Yes, it was horrific, and Orrin got tortured in this chapter quite a lot. Arya had to throw one at one point. She's been bashed the most severely. Murtagh/Nasuada is an awesome pairing. Yeah, she gets just as annoyed by constructive criticism and praise for actual flaws.
Queenmab: Sorry, I can't shut her up. I like your new name. Mercutio is the best character in Romeo and Juliet, hands down. I like him almost as much as I like Cassio, maybe more.
Kitty and Amethyst: Yeah, she's fun to write review responses with. Angela will read your hack next chapter, and I will have lots of Solembum commentary. He can't really read because he mind-speaks, but whatever.
LittleKittyShaoMao: Yeah, I had a hard time writing that, but she needed to be bad. Yeah, take it out on a fake person. It's probably the best way to do it.
Darth Vyper: Thanks. I'm glad you liked how I've made fun of Mary Sues. They don't make the plot better at all. I hope you liked this chapter.
Izumi-chan: Sometimes you have to poke something until it becomes a plot. I think your story looked like a good idea for the start of a story. You should try to make it one. I hope this chapter rocked.
Rock Not War: Okay. I'll use it when I run out of ways for Eragon Ridher's story to go. That'll probably be soon. She has so little plot. Then again, that means I can do whatever with her story.
ANGEL-OF-DEATH6: Yes, Orrin is quite amusing. I love him. He's such a funny reactor. Yeah, I don't think anyone could beat Arya's hissy fit.
Smelybel: Thanks. I liked writing it. I see what you mean. She's not the worst, but she's up there.
Fredsonetrueluv: LOL. Orrin is indeed in on the quote-on-quote fun. He is a great character. He has more of a character than Eragon. LOL. Yeah, he's not that bad. He and Nasuada would actually work together, though I think she should be with Murtagh. Nasuada's new names randomly come to me as I'm writing. It's weird. I think Eragon Ridher is the world's biggest hypocrite. I hope you liked this chapter.
MissMonkey91: Thanks. I tried to make it long. I don't know about popular. I'm not sure how many favorites lists it's average to be on.
Prettybella: I hope you liked his reactions.
DaggerPen: Yeah, she is. How sad. I'll post the next chapter sometime this week, probably on the weekend. It's a hack, so I just have to write reactions. Yeah, Eragon and Murtagh are still pretty sensitive about that particular subject.
Adriannrod Svit-Kona Sama: LOL. Funny flame. I'm surprised she knew what sarcasm is.
Ketaki Song: LOL. Yeah, it's funny when she's mad. Great. Now I have a song stuck in my head because I wrote that. Gr. At least it's not "Never Had a Friend Like Me." That's been stuck in my head since Monday. Murtagh will read it then. Raeynne is pitiable especially with Estelena and Amowiel.
