Chapter 9: How to Catch Your Pokémon
"Hey Element, can you go get my waffle out of the toaster oven?" Marrowsky asked.
"Sure thing" Element said, cheerfully getting up and waking to the kitchen, where the toaster oven was.
Element noticed the oven mitts on the wall, but they were over five feet away, so he ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and pulled his shirt sleeves up.
"Haha gonna get my waffle on, lookin' good waffle, gonna give you a nice grab" Element proclaimed.
25 seconds later...
"Element I think you should be tested for retardation" Rydli suggested.
"HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?" Jp asked.
"What the heck were you thinking, man?" Mr. Moogle asked.
"Retard alert! Retard alert! Uh oh!" Cloud yelled.
"^" Ziggy said.
"Alright guys I think I get it" Element said.
"No, no. Element. You need help." Rydli said.
"Look I wasn't expecting it to burn my hands it was an accident people make these mistakes all the time!" Element defended himself.
"Hey I guess this means the homeschooled Shinx buddies are more alike than we thought" Cloud said.
Shinxy was humping the waffle.
"Murrowsky I got yew cpckeaffle redy~" Shinxy said.
"I'll pass." Marrowsky responded.
"Come on, don't compare me to Shinxy. Plenty of people would make do that, I was just in a rush I didn't know it would be that hot it was turned off for a bit calm down guys!" Element pleaded.
"Hey El le mend mag dick is cut and ur hands r burned, mayb I can help U jack off" Shinxy suggested.
"Please go away" Element asked politely.
"Face it Element, Shinxy's probably smarter than you" Rydli said.
"Yeah retard" Cloud agreed.
"Holy shit! No!" Element yelled.
[Element in le confession toilet]
"Back to this shit again, just when I was starting to make people think I'm not a bloody idiot, this happens and everyone flips their shit! I'll have to do some redeeming to prove my intelligence. But until then, grr I'm angry. Did I just say grr? What's happening to me!?"
Element punches the wall and then cries because it hurt his hand.
[le end]
Lukeguy walked into the kitchen and up to the toaster oven. He had some pizza rolls on there that were done. He looked around but saw no oven mitts so he used his shirt sleeve. Upon attempting to pick the hot pizza rolls up, it burned like hell so he panicked and pulled back quickly, knocking himself into a table and falling into it, waving his head crazily as it burned.
"Ahh, ahh, I just burned myself, ahh, I shouldn't have done that, ahhh..." he muttered quietly to himself.
Lukeguy laid on the table in silence for a few moments. He looked around and no one was there.
"That was really stupid of me..." Lukeguy scolded himself.
The silence continued.
Luke sighed and walked back to first class.
"Hey Luke. What's with your hand?" Alice asked as he walked in.
"I used my shirt sleeves to-"
"NOBODY FUCKING CARES" Sam screamed into Luke's face, then running off.
Stickboy left le confession toilet with some toilet paper in his hand. He hid it under his coat as he casually walked by, Isaac approached him.
"You bring the stuff?" Isaac whispered.
"All right here" Stickboy said, slowly opening his coat a bit to reveal a peek at the toilet roll.
"Wait is that Charmin or Scott?" Isaac asked.
"Uh, Charmin, why?" Stickboy asked.
"I'm allergic to Charmin so this won't do" Isaac said, walking away.
"Who the hell is allergic to toilet paper? I have never heard of that" Stickboy complained.
As Team Jacob was enjoying the privileges of first class, Mike was enjoying Pokemon X on his 3DS.
"Krogre!" Mike said as his 3DS exploded.
"Ok Mike you can cut it out adding exclamation marks at the end of every sentence doesn't make your character more realistic" Nicholas replied.
"Ok Mike you can cut it out adding exclamation marks at the end of every sentence doesn't make your character more realistic" Mike repeated.
"Ok Mike you can cut it out adding exclamation marks at the end of every sentence doesn't make your character more realistic" Alice repeated.
"Ok Mike you can cut it out adding exclamation marks at the end of every sentence doesn't make your character more realistic" Lemon repeated.
"I like ending sentences with exclamation marks to indicate sarcasm!" Luke replied.
No one responded.
[Lukeguy in le confession toilet]
"I should go back to saying two lines an episode"
[le end]
"Wow Mike, don't you think it's a little 2000 and late to be playing that game?" Lemon asked.
"I know I know!
Riley was siting in front of Shadow cross legged.
"Shadow, I'm sorry I haven't been working on reviews" Riley said.
"You should be, idiot. How long do you think your fanbase will tolerate a hiatus?" Shadow asked.
"Whoa whoa Shadow no need to throw names around like that. The Earthbound review should be finished soon, I just need time..." Riley explained.
"Well stop being a pathetic loser and work on your review while we're not doing challenges are are just sitting here on the plane, moron" Shadow scoffed.
"Stop judging me!" Riley pleaded, throwing himself at the plush and wrestling with it.
"I have to take a huge dump right now" Isaac said.
"Then do it" Lemon said.
"ok" Isaac said, getting out of her seat and walking towards le confessional.
Gingerale was playing Lemon's PS3 on the flat screen.
"Geez this is fun and all but the graphics are shit you need to upgrade bro" Gingerale said.
Admin walked into the first class room.
"Good morning, everyone. How are my winners doing tod-what the heck? Are you playing video games?" Admin asked.
"No" Gingerale answered.
"What kind of plane let's you play video games on a flat screen? You guys aren't supposed to have this much" Admin complained.
"Well if you don't like it, then you can git out" Sam said, pointing towards the door.
Admin opened a window, causing a large force of air to move towards it.
He threw he TV out of the window where it fell to die, then throwing the PS3 out with it.
"What the heck that was mine" Lemon complained, looking out the window as Admin closed it.
"Crap I'm gonna have to wait until I get home before I play it again, which could be awhile considering how well I'm doing in this thing" Gingerale said.
"Ahahahahhahahaa yeah oh riiiiiiiiiight" StarForce said, masturbatingly.
"Hi Robot, Lenon greeted" Lemon greeted.
"Hey...you..." Robot said with some unfamiliarity.
"Heard you've been making some nice cool animations. That's pretty Stalin' yo, just wanted to remind you of how valuable of a teammate you are" Lemon smiled.
"Thanks for kissing my ass, Lemon, but my animations are pretty crap." Robot said.
"What? Why would you say that?" Lemon asked.
[le flashback]
Robot is drawing robots in her sketchbook. She flips through the pages to watch the fluid animation of a flip book come to life.
"Hahaha I love animating this is so fun and I'm so passionate for it hahaha" Robot laughs joyously.
"This is the worst piece of crap I've ever seen you are a terrible artist and an even worse animator and you will never achieve even the brim of your dreams, anyone who hires you will only do so out of pity and you are doomed for a life of misery, disappointment, and tears." Robot's teacher said to her.
"oh..." Robot replied.
Robot's teacher punched Robot in the face, knocking her out of her seat.
[le end]
"People have told me. Some criticism is needed to help me improve though, I will be a tolerable animator one day..." Robot said, looking up to the sky.
"I think you're good at it, Robot. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself" Lemon said, patting her back.
"Lemon I'm the living definition of being hard on yourself. What do you aspire to be anyway?" Robot asked.
"I, uh, it, um...anime?" Lemon asked.
"Is anime real?" Reu asked.
"I like socks" Alice replied.
"Did someone say anime? Have you heard of-"
"No, J. Nobody has! No!" Nicholas screamed.
Meanwhile in the Troll Slaiyers department, the haikikes were having a philosophical discussion about the true nature of man.
"Just finished writing up my idea for Shrek's Smash moveset" Cloud said.
"Undertale" Ziggy said.
"Who?" Kirby asked.
"[something Eden would say]" Eden said.
"Alright let's just skip over all of this" Element said
"Shrek shrke Shrek Shrek's Shrek shitpost shitpost shitpost quirky irl talk shitpost shitpost Undertale Shrek undertaken Shrek Undertale Shrek Shrek shrke Shrek shitpost Shrek smash smash Undertale smash understand Undertale Undertale Ziggy posting about mu cloud talking about smash Pantz posts selfie immediately saved by Lukeguy shitpost shitpost actual talking no one cares about" the haikikes said.
"Alright it's my part what's up everyone?" Element asked.
"Hey Element, can you read this?" Rydli asked, handing Element a piece of paper.
"Uh, no. This is in Russian" Element said, handing the paper back.
"Element that's German, geez you really are illiterate" Rydli said.
"Hat the crap? How was I suppose to know that? I'm not fluent in nine different languages like you are" Element shot back.
"Element is correcto on that one, Ryds" Mr. Moogle said.
"Haha I can understand that one. Guess I'm smartero than you thinko, Rydlip" Element said.
"Ok that was painful to listen" Rydli said, walking away.
DryBones was trembling in his seat.
"Something troubling you, DryBones?" Marrowsky asked.
"No. AHHHHH STOP ASKING ME ABOUT IT" DryBones screamed, running away.
[DryBones in le confession toilet]
"I...saw two people kiss in the toilet...it wasn't a pretty sight but the toilet looked pretty hot...I don't know the names of the people though, I've only talked to like three people here"
[le end]
"What the heck! Someone ate my croissant!" Jp screamed.
"Maybe it was Element, that sneaky little corndog lives croissants" Pseudonym suggested.
"It couldn't have been me, I was too busy burning myself" Element explained.
"Dude this has been happening for awhile now, some Sneaky Salomon has been stealing food for weeks" Mr. Moogle said.
"Maybe it's rodents" Element suggested.
"Really? Cause the only rodent I see here is you." Cloud said.
"Ouch, that burned harder than the toaster oven. Not really I just wanted to make that joke" Marrowsky said.
"Minion hate" Carz said.
"How is it that Carz went from being one of the most voted for contestants in season one to one nobody cares about?" Pantz asked.
"Because Carz hate is so 2013, Carz is no harm to anybody" Mr. Moogle explained.
"Sex" Carz replied.
[Carz in le confession toilet]
"YES I'm gonna win because everyone is too busy sexing each other HAHAHAHAAHAHA AND I WILL DESTROY ALL MINIONS AND FNAF FANS HAHAHAHAAHAHA help"
[le end]
"Wait aren't we going to backslash the last person who left?" Jp asked.
"Jp, Jp, when will you learn. First of all everybody knows and has always known that Bless is a piece of shit and we never shy away from saying that to his face." Cloud explained.
[Cloud in le confession toilet]
"Again being ironic. Me and Bless have a love hate relationship. No we don't we're not friends. It's an ironic thing"
[le end]
"Wait what exactly did Bless do?" Pantz ask.
"Shitpost and be edgy" Eden informed.
"But, don't you guys shitpost too?" Pantz asked.
"Shut up Pantz you're trying to paint us in a bad light. You might as well make a subreddit called r/HaikikInAction and only post bad screencaps so idiots who browse it will judge us solely on the 1% of the chat they actually see." Cloud replied.
"SHUT UP SHUT UP NOBODY CARES I THOUGHT I SAID TO SKIM THIS" Element yelled.
Element skimmed the rest of the conversation until everybody was stepping out of the plane.
"Another location, another challenge to win" Sam said, showing his muscles and leaping off the stairs.
"Whoa, pretty" Isaac said.
"I'm gonna be that one guy with his backpack strapped on tightly gazing around at wonder at everything as whimsical music plays" StarForce said, looking around in wonder at trees and a stream of water.
"This place looks pretty-"
"No one cares Lukeguy" Gingerale said, knocking Luke off the set of stairs with his duffle bag.
"This will look nicely on my next video" Riley said, taking a whiff of the air.
"A little help?" Rydli asked as he fell out of his wheelchair and crashes down the stairs.
The 32 haikuers were all off the plane and grouped up with their respective team as Admin and Imboo walked out wearing jackets. Admin had a blue jacket covering the sides of his black shirt with a red and white cap on, while Imboo had an panthers shirt with a green vest over it. They also wore pants but who the fuck cares about the kind of pants they wore.
They were all standing in a forest area with some mountains close by, a stream beside them and a large set of trees surrounding them all.
"Welcome to the region of Unova! From Poekemon it's a Pokemon thing we're doing Pokemon this week" Admin announced.
"You mean Pokémon." Rydli corrected.
"Ok Rydli nobody likes those people who use overly perfect grammar and ends every sentence with a period" Admin said.
"Yeah that's a good thing to say in a situation like this" Marrowsky said.
"This plane must have some very advanced technology to be able to travel to a fictional universe" Pseudonym noted.
"Pseudonym, really. Really? Pseudonym?" Admin asked.
"What?" Pseudonym asked.
"Like, okay. Like, really? Ok? Pseudonym? Ok? Like? Ok? Yeah, ok" Admin said.
"I'm glad you chose the Best Region to go to, they were in the Best Pokémon games after all...good plot...good plot..." Lukeguy said.
"Honestly I only chose this region for the PWT, which you will all be competing in, AFTER you catch some Pokémon" Admin explained.
There was some mumble between the contestants.
"Hm! A Pokémon challenge where we catch and battle? Challenge accepted." Joe said, doing the meme face.
"Ok Joe you don't need to accept the challenge you're obliged to compete regardless. Anyways, we're in a good setup. 16 players on each team, 32 overall. A tournament structure will work fine. Catch whatever you can find, and use it for battle later on." Admin continued.
"Question, will this fall apart like every other haiku tournament?" Mr. Moogle asked.
"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, starred" Element laughed.
Admin picked up a pokeball and threw it at Mr. Moogle, capturing him. The ball fell and bounced off the grassy ground. Shinxy picked it up.
"Shinxy...don't do it..." Grenade said, taking the ball from him.
"Do what?" Gluvr asked.
"I want to jizz on Hitler's face" Shinxy said.
"Lovely" Eden replied.
"MOOGLE DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THESE PEOPLE" Element pleaded, opening the ball and letting Moogle fall out...boy.
"Hehehe I'd like to put Element in a ball~" Shinxy murred.
"That's probably going to happen" Element sighed.
[Nicholas in le confession toilet]
"Ok, I was hoping we'd go meet Kurtis the Snivy but this is the second best thing. I'm find a Mew and watch Element jack off to it and then I'll make a song about it and then Element will finally have a girlfriend and everyone will be happy"
[le end]
"Hope I can catch Krogre" Cloud said.
"Ok Cloud we get it ironic shitposting haha" Element rolled his eyes.
"Hope I can catch Krogre" Mike said.
"No comment. Not making me look stupid this time" Element said.
"Everyone take your balls" Admin said, unzipping a bag full of tiny pokeballs
"Pffffft hahahaha" J laughed, slapping his knee
"J. That's like one of the most baseless and repeated joke in history" Nicholas said.
"I know but like, balls, ha...ha..." J said.
"Murrowsky can you hold my balls for me?" Shinxy asked.
"Oh no bitch" J said, walking towards Shinxy but being stopped by Sam, who pinned him to the ground and popped on his chest.
The haikuers grabbed all grabbed handfuls of pokeballs, putting them in their pockets for later use.
"Hey, Reu, eh Reu, ehhhh gonna catch some Pokemon ehhhh what are you gonna catch, ehhh Greer guess you could eeee, heh, heh, eheheh guess you could say you, uh, you're gonna eh, eh catch a Reuniclus eh boy ehhsh" Alice said.
"Most likely" Reu said, shoving his balls deep into his pocket.
"Alright we need to drop the balls jokes, they simply aren't funny" Stickboy said.
"I was just putting them in my pocket..." Reu defended.
"No Stickboy it's ok they're intentionally unfunny so that's what makes it funny" Alice said.
"What" Stickboy asked.
"The joke is that it is so unfunny that we're laughing about how lame it is" Alice said.
"o...k...still not seeing the humor here" Stickboy said.
"Yeah that's the joke" Alice brushed off.
"Let's catch some Pokemoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-" Joe screamed at the top of her longs endlessly.
"This isn't going anywhere let's just start now" Marrowsky said, and everyone went off in different directions.
J walked towards Marrowsky but was grabbed by Gingerale.
"Focus, J" Gingerale ordered.
"I got this. Pokémon is like, my life..." J said.
Isaac walked to the river and tried jumping in, but he was blocked by an invisible force field on the edge, preventing him from moving any further.
"What the..." Isaac said.
"Pfft, noob" J rolled his eyes.
"Hey J, nice terminology. Why don't you bring that back to 2011 and keep it there" Lemon said.
"Lemon how would I travel back in time? Hello, use your brain. Wait, I can. I just need a Celebi, a Dialga, or a lot of meth" J said, pacing around.
"Need some help, bro!" Sam asked Isaac.
"Not really I was just-" Isaac started.
Sam picked Isaac up and threw him at the river, but he bounced off the invisible wall and fell on the ground.
"Shit." Sam said.
"Hey, Admin bro. Aren't we supposed to have some starter Pokémon to help us out?" Ziggy asked.
"No. Because the last time every contestant got a starter Pokemon the Pokemon rebelled and tried to kill everyone. Also because I don't have them." Admin explained.
"Right. Radical..." Ziggy said.
Blooberri was in a dark forest area. She saw some wiggling from the grass. She took her Pokeball out and enlarged it with the press of a button. It leaped out at her and Blooberri tossed the ball, the Pokemon shrieked and turned into a white light as it was cast into the ball, falling to the ground. It wiggles three times before stopping, with a star clicking off of it.
"Wow, awesome! What is it?" Blooberri asked, calling it out.
It was a ?!
"Wait, what is it?" Blooberri asked.
"Sorry, sorry, forgot to give you all Pokedexes. Without these you can't tell what a Pokemon is and its name just stays as a question mark" Imboo said, walking into a tree.
"Imboo, open your eyes" Blooberri suggested.
"I can't Admin told me to keep my eyes closed to be more like Brock" Imboo explained, walking into another tree.
Blooberri took a Pokedex out of Imboo's hand.
"Froakie" it said to her.
"Wow Bloo just caught herself a nifty Pokemon. Well, time to lose the game and never get past the first area" Blooberri whistled, trotting along with Froakie.
"God damn it I can't find any wild Pokemon" Cloud stomped.
"That's because you're not in the tall grass. That's just normal grass. Notice the darker colored, two inch elevated patch over here" Grenade explained.
"Oh...thanks Grenade. Now I'm going to catch a Rayquaza and kill everyone" Cloud said, tripping over a rock and landing on an Oddish.
"Oh shit an Oddish! This will be awesome!" Cloud said, slamming the Pokeball off the Oddish's head and capturing it.
"Hmm. Who should I catch" GRENDE thought to himself.
"Qwilfish, Maractus, Finneon" Cloud replied.
"Hmm. Maybe I will" Grenade said, walking away.
He noticed Kirby and walked up to them.
"Hey Gluvr, any luck with the Pokemon yet?" Grenade asked.
"Yes!?/$726/77-&-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-! Caught Buneary." Kirby said.
The Buneary punched Grenade in the dick.
"Cool. I'm gonna go catch a Qwilfish" Grenade said.
"Cool I don't know what that is but it sounds fun! Good luck" Kirby said, and Grenade walked off again.
[Grenade in le confession toilet]
"Gluvr is...cool..."
[le end]
Element was hunting for the PokÉmon in the tall grass when a Shinx showed up.
"Oh yea!" Element said, throwing his ball at the Shinx to catch it, but it was knocked away but somebody else's ball.
The Shinx was caught.
"Who the FUCK just caught my Shinx?" Element asked.
"a" Element said.
"Really Shinxy! Ugh now I have to catch another one" Element complained.
"Maybe not, look!" Shinxy said, and there was an egg next to the Shinx.
"Wow, nice. A little biking around, find a Pokemon with flame body, and-" Element began as Shinxy picked the egg up and throws it forcefully to the ground, where it broke and a Shinx emerged.
Element room his fedora off and placed it on his Shinx.
"You're gonna go far, Shinx" Element said to it, placing a hand on its back.
Shinxy's Shinx leaped upon Element's Shinx and started humping it furiously. Element's Shinx took it and moaned as Shinxy's Shinx thrusted harder with each passing second.
"WHY" Element said, falling to his knees.
Shinxy's hand slowly reached towards his penis.
"No!" Element slapped Shinny's hand.
Nicholas walked by.
"Element don't have sex with that Shinx you're gonna need that energy for Mew later" Nicholas said.
"Come on Nicholas I wouldn't actually fuck a Shinx that's like fucking a kitten." Element said.
"Alright Reddit username SHINX_FUCKER" Nicholas said.
Shinxy started crouching close to the Shinxes.
"Shinxy! No! Don't fuck those innocent Pokemon!" Nicholas said, slapping Shinxy's hand.
"I'm gonna find that Mew...I'm coming for you...and Element's destiny will be complete..." Nicholas said with the wind blowing behind him.
The beat of a song started to form.
"What, what are we doing, a song? Are we doing a song? Am I supposed to dance or something?" Element asked.
[Song #11 - Mew Fucker]
Nicholas: Sitting on my ass all day
Open e621, to get away
From this world around me, so I can, finally
Keep my hormones at baaaaaay
He's a
Mew fucker
Mew, Mew fucker
Mew fucker
Mew, Mew fucker
Watch out if you know what's good for you
'Cause he's, coming for that Mew
Element: Let's set things straight
It wasn't like that
It was anthro, mate
And didn't look like a cat
It had that look in its eye, I couldn't resist
It was calling for me, so I formed a fiiiist
Nicholas: He's a
Mew fucker
Mew, Mew fucker
Shinxy: Mew fucker
Mew, Mew fucker
Nicholas: He'll fuck you until you splurt out goo
'Cause he's, waiting for that Mew
Shinxy: Jacking off, nine times a day
Victini, Glaceon, Luxray
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER
When he sees dat Mew his penis grows bigger
Nicholas and Shinxy: He's a
Mew fucker
Mew, Mew fucker
Mew fucker
Mew, Mew fucker
Nicholas, Shinxy, and Element:
Mew fucker
Mew, Mew fucker
Mew fucker
Mew, Mew fucker
-
Element: Wait why am I joining this
Element: Actually, I'm really a
SHINX_FUCKER
SHINX_SHINX_FUCKER
SHINX_FUCKER
SHINX_SHINX_FUCKER
-
A woman and her child are watching from the distance.
Child: Mommy what are those singing about?
Mother: Go inside, go inside!
Nicholas and Shinxy:
MEW fucker!
Mew, Mew fucker!
Element:
SHINX_FUCKER!
SHINX_SHINX_FUCKER!
Nicholas: Sorry Elemend, but it's Mew that makes you Muk
Shinxy: Is there any Pokémon, Element doesn't fuck?
Element: LIKE I SAID
SHINX IS WHAT I FUCK
actually I don't, that's gross. Guess that does make me a-
Nicholas, Shinxy, and Element:
MEW FUCKER
MEW, MEW FUCKER
MEW FUCKER
MEW, MEW FUCKER
Nicholas: Hiding out, being that truck
You'll find Mew, giving Element some suck
Nicholas, Shinxy, and Element:
MEW FUCKER
MEW, MEW FUCKER
MEW FUCKER
MEW, MEW FUCKER
MEW FUCKER
MEW, MEW FUCKER
MEW FUCKER
MEW, MEW FUCKER
Nicholas: 'Still waiting for my Mew
[le big finish]
Nicholas walked off to find his Mew.
"That was actually pretty fun" Element said.
"a
Hdis
Suso
SUSISU
Ew
wee
E
Si" Shinxy replied.
Lukeguy walked out from behind a tree, revealing himself.
"Element, Element, Element." Lukeguy said.
Shinxy hissed.
"Settle down Shinxy." Element said.
"Always the center of attention, always up to something stupid, starting controversy, and befriending the people who used to belittle you." Luke said.
"Come on Luke I never did anything to you, leave me be" Element said, turning his back.
"That's just it, Element. It's always been about them, never me. We have a connection, Element. I always admired you. Unlike the others on haiku we could relate to each other because we were both homeschooled. You're the anti-me. They used to insult and anger you, and now you're friends with them? Don't you ever wonder why you accepted them as friends?" Luke asked.
"We just are, Lukeguy. I don't need someone so spiteful to tell me not to hang out with people who make fun of me. Relationships change, we joke around, it's just what friends do. Now go back to shitposting" Element said, walking away.
"I'm not a shitposter!" Luke screamed, banging his head off a tree, causing the tree to snap and fall of the ground.
"I. Am. A reviewer. And you know what I give you Element? A 0/5. You're just a close-minded sheep" Luke snapped.
"Maybe this is why nobody cares about what you say Lukeguy, just shut up! Shut up shut up shut up! Stop talking like you're a person you freak!" Element yelled, placing his head in his hands.
Shinxy tugged Element's shirt and they started walking away from Luke together.
"The world needs a critic, Element. It's my job to gather negative feedback. But it's not about what people think of me, it's about the things I say. As bad of a reputation I might end up receiving, only the words I leave will truly matter. After all, you're all just a bunch of people over the Internet. None of you were ever a real friend" Luke said.
"What a dick" Element said to Shinxy.
"NIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGER" Shinxy replied.
"Can't believe he would kick you" Element said.
"a
du
Asa
see
e
rrrr" Shinxy continued.
"You did nothing wrong" Element said.
"porn porn porn porn porn porn Shinx dick" Shinxy replied.
"They just do the same thing you did. Probably. Maybe. I haven't been there in awhile I'll just believe whatever I hear" Element said.
Moogle had a notebook and pen out, taking notes on the Pokemon in the tall grass. Marrowksy was beside him.
"How is it that we can't see the Pokemon hiding under grass that's about two feet long?" Marrowsky asked.
"Who cares. Oh, I got a bite!" Moogle said, reeling in two Pokemon. They were both Dratini.
"Whoa, amazing!" Moogle said.
"Wait I thought we were looking at the grass why did we suddenly switch to the lake?" Marrowsky asked.
"Whatever whatever that was the joke" Moogle brushed off.
"What?" Marrowksy asked.
"That was the joke it was intentionally stupid whatever let me study these pokes" Moogle said, picking the Dratini up and examining them.
"Well, that might be the joke, I guess. But the way you said it almost felt like you made a mistake and didn't want to look stupid so you said it was purposely done as a joke to save yourself from humiliation" Marrowksy said.
"Yeah yeah that's the actual joke it was a buildup to that it was all one big joke" Moogle said.
"You're doing it again is this going to be a running gag or something?" Marrowsky asked.
"Alright this one has higher speed" Moogle said, picking the other Dratini up and ripping it in half before throwing it back into the water.
"Thanks, I wasn't going to ask if I could have it." Marrowsky replied sarcastically.
"Oh, sorry man. What Pokémon do you like, anyways? You a Steel type of guy?" Marrowsky asked.
"Yeah I have a specific type of Pokémon I like to catch that would definitely give me an advantage in battle" Marrowsky said back.
"A simple no would have sufficed" Moogle said.
"Let's just catch a Lucario all furries like Lucario" Moogle suggested.
"Why don't we catch you a Ponyta all bronies want ponies right?" Marrowksy asked.
"Ok, Marrowsky, ok. Ok. Ok? Ok. Could do without the attitude" Moogle said.
[Mr. Moogle in le confession toilet]
"Marrowsky is like, my eighth best friend, so it's great to spend some time with him. We're both sexy.
[le end]
Rydli wheeled up.
"Hey friends" Rydli greeted.
"Hey Rydli, catch any Pokémon?" Moogle asked.
"Only the best, but you'll see soon enough" Rydli said.
"Anyways, we haven't hung out much since you joined the team. The three of us, a pretty smart trio, huh?" Rydli suggested.
Lukeguy popped up from behind some bushes, pushing his glasses up.
"Actually, I see Marrowsky more of a Rydli 0.5. Also Rydli and Moogle, I've noticed your trends playing Katawa shoujo, lots of tumblr memes. My favorite is Rin." Lukeguy said.
They all ignored him and walked away, Marrowsky, distancing himself from Moogle and Rydli.
J was in a field frolicking around.
"Aha!" J laughed.
J threw a rock at a Cyndaquil.
"Aha!" J laughed, throwing a Pokeball.
"Aha!" J laughed, picking the Cyndaquil up and dancing with it.
"You're gonna be named Marrowsky, aha!" J laughed.
A Totodile walked by and J threw Marrowsky at it. The Totodile beat the crap out of it and J threw a Pokeball at it in the midst of the fight.
"Aha! Welcome to the team, Cameron!" J laughed.
A Chikorita walked by and Marrowsky punched it in the eye.
"Aha! Now we have Luna! Aha!" J laughed excitedly.
"Come on our everyone! Aha!" J laughed, throwing his balls to the ground, where Totodile and Chikorita came out.
"alright, all we need now is a rival" J said to his team.
"You!" Someone screamed.
"Hey!" J said.
The trainer ran up to J and punched him to the ground.
"Our eyes have met we shall do battle!" he said.
"Alright cool Luna use tackle" J ordered.
Te Chikorita wobbled over and fainted.
"Shoot this guys is though. Outta my way I don't like you" he said, bumping deliberately into J.
"Wait! You didn't tell me your name!" J said as the guy walked away.
"...you can call me ?" the young man told him.
"A rivalry is born." J said, tightening his hat.
Another trainer came galloping up to J.
"Teehee~ do you like pokeeeeeeemaaaaaan?" he asked.
"Yeah!" J said.
"Teehee let's be rivals 3 I'll be tough to beat! Teehee see you later bestie~" he said, galloping away.
"That was exciting, aha" J laughed as his Totodile started gnawing on Chikorita.
"Hey Lemon. I herd you liek mudkipz" Alice said as she, Riley, and Lemon were walking through a forest.
"Oh man, you didn't see my Flipnote profile from 2010 did you..." Lemon asked nervously.
"What, no. It's not that specific of a joke." Alice said.
"Oh, cool." Lemon said.
A Mudkip poked its head out of the water and jumped at Lemon. Lemon put his arms out nervously as it latched on to them. It started nudging his hands and Lemon smiled, taking a Pokeball out to claim it, then immediately letting it out to walk with him.
"Man, this brings me back. Mudkip was my first Pokemon way back..." Lemon reminisced.
"Hm. Lemon that's pretty hot. So does anybody on haiku know you from your Flipnote days?" Riley asked.
"Just Cam." Lemon said.
"Oh, Cam...so anyways, I caught a Geodude" Riley said.
"Riley I think that's just a regular rock" Alice said.
"Trust me, it's a Geodude" Riley said.
"Oh that reminds me, I can put one of these Pokemon on my Pokewalker and then carry it with me wherever I go" Riley exclaimed.
"But these are actual Pokemon that can walk beside us" Alice said.
"Alice. Ok. Ok? Like, ok. Ok? Ok. Like, alright?" Riley replied.
There was some rustling from the grass. Riley readied his balls for the incoming Pokemon.
"Eevee!" the Pokemon exclaimed, jumping at Lemon.
"Lick, lick, lick my balls Eevee" Riley said, bonking it off the head with his Pokeball and capturing it.
He then took his Pokewalker out and a narrow red light connected the distance between the Eevee and the walker. The Eevee successfully was on Riley's Pokewalker, crying and banging off the walls to get our.
"Cool! Now let's find more" Riley said, and Alice and Lemon followed him to wherever he went.
Robot, Reu, and Stickboy came upon a small village surrounded by tall grass.
"Hey guys, let's-, ah let's m-a check this place out heh?" Stickboy suggested.
[Stickboy in le confession toilet]
"If amiibo were allowed, I'd already have a team of six Pokemon. Because I have every amiibo. Except Mewtwo actually but uh oh ...!9 this can't be"
[le end]
"HELP" somebody screamed.
Reu, Stickboy, and Robot walked up to the man waving his hand in the air.
"Please, please. We've been closed off from civilization for 10 years! All of the hospitals and food markets are in the next town over, but we can't get to them because of the tall grass! You need to help us!" he pleaded, grabbing onto Robot.
"Wow get a Pokemon scrub" Stickboy said.
Reu, Stickboy, and Robot continued walking away from the village as a Tornadus came flying down and ate the man.
"My robot Pokemon will do great! Or terribly because I'm bad at everything...oh no I made myself down again..." Robot sighed.
"Hey look, a Ducklette" Stickboy exclaimed.
"Wow, what an iconic Pokemon" Reu said.
"Pokémon" Stickboy corrected.
Stickboy threw a rock at the Ducklette and it fell to the ground, fading through it and disappearing.
"What the, it disappeared..." Stickboy said.
"You fool! Everyone knows you can't capture a fainted Pokémon" Robot said, smacking him off the head.
Reu saw a shadowy figure in the distance, scaling the nearby mountain. He glanced over at Robot and Stickboy, who were occupied with each other, and started walking towards the figure he saw.
There was a ramp, like formation in the dirt leading up the mountain. Reu trudged along the path until he came to the figure, standing at the edge of a cliff and staring off at the distance. A sea of trees were in front of them, with some towns to be seen on the horizon. The figure was covered in all black, with a black mask covering his face, black gloves, and a black cape.
"Who are you?" Reu asked him.
"Wouldn't telling you defeat the purpose of the costume?" he asked back nonchalantly, not turning his head.
"Well, you kinda look like a Star Wars character. I was hoping you'd be Caesar or something. Haven't seen him in awhile" Reu said.
"Enjoy this trip while you can, Reu, because as soon as you get eliminated you will never see any of these people again."
"What? What's that suppose to mean?" Reu asked.
"Exactly what I said, idiot. When it's over, it's over" the man said, and he leaned forward, falling face forward off the cliff.
Reu ran to the edge and looked over, but he didn't see his body anywhere in sight. Reu took a Pokeball out of his pocket and looked at it before clenching his fist and walking back down the mountain path.
The other haikuers were getting down to work.
J's Cyndaquil evolved into Quilava, joining his Bayleef and Croconaw.
Lemon's Mudkip fought Alice's Eevee for practice, tackling is and making Eevee cry.
Could caught a Shellder and looked around to make sure no one was watching as he unzipped his pants.
Moogle's Dragonair was practicing fighting his Goomy.
"Wow team practice is surprisingly efficient, why don't the games allow this?" he asked.
Ziggy was teaching his Sylveon how to use 4chan.
Shinxy caught a Sentret. He started moving closely to the Sentret with his dick out before being stopped by Element.
Marrowsky's Riolu was beating up a Fennekin before Marrowsky threw a ball at it and caught it. Marrowsky gave his Riolu a fist bump.
CARZ screamed at a banana and caught a Loudred where he began to have sex wth it.
Lukeguy was spanking his mankey to make it obey him.
"Hey, hey Pantz!" Joe greeted.
"Oh, Joe. Sup, bro. You were so unimportant in the last episode I almost forgot you existed" Pantz said.
"Yo, my man. This challenge has got me STOKED. Got my Piplup already ready, and we're gonna kick some ASS" Joe said.
"Piplup!" Piplup agreed.
"Haha that's cool man. I caught a Smeargle, whatever that is" Pantz said.
"Hello? Guys? Where am I?" a blindfolded Imboo asked as he continued to walk into a tree over and over again.
"So, Pantz. How much longer you think you'll survive this thing?" Joe asked.
"I don't know man, maybe not long considering how well I did in the first season. But it doesn't matter, I'm just here to have fun. And the longer I'm here the more IB homework I have to makeup when I get back home." Pantz said.
"Oh yeah I was grounded before coming here lol" Joe said.
"What!" Pantz asked.
"Yeah my mom stopped me from using Facebook and Haiku and all that so I snuck out to haikucon and now I'm here lol. When I get back she'll probably ground me even longer and the next time we actually talk to each other will probably be forever away!" Joe exclaimed.
"That sucks, man" Pantz said.
[Pantz in le confession toilet]
"Hey more time away from Joe might not be so bad"
[le end]
Gluvr walked by, waving at Pantz and Joe.
Alright are we just going to alternate between Kirby and Gluvr or can we just stick to one. Just use both fool. Shut up. I'm fighting with myself again.
DryBones saw the wave exchange and trembled a bit.
"Something troubling, DryBones?" Rydli asked as he wheeled up beside him.
"What?! No! I just wish this was a Minecraft challenge so I'd be better suited" DryBones said.
"Something seems to be upsetting you. You don't have to, but I think you'd feel better if you got if off your chest with a trusted friend" Rydli suggested, patting DryBones' shoulder.
Rydli wheeled away and DryBones thought about Rydli's offer as Kirby continued training their Pokémob and Pantz and Joe conversed.
"Hey, what's this? Oh...I'm talking to myself again" Rydli said as he picked something up from off the ground.
Eden and Jp were by a river. Eden was tending to her Mawille. Jp was riding a Tauros. She tried to control it but it ran star sight into the river, in which Jp was knocked off by the invisible force field because you can't go in the water without a Pokémon who knows surf.
"Any luck?" Eden asked.
"None at all." Jp sighed.
"Hey, hey Jp" Stickboy greeted, waking into the scene."
"Oh, hey Stickboy" Jp said.
"I got you something" he smiled, releasing the Pokémon from his Pokeball.
"Oh my gosh, it's a Rosea. I'm a fan of those!" Jp exclaimed.
"Yup. And it's all yours." Stickboy said, handing the ball to her.
"Wow, really?" she asked.
"Yeah, good luck out there. From someone who was eliminated in the second episode last season, being new to the series can be kind of difficult" Stickboy said, walking off.
"Yeah...wow. We've been though eight eliminations and neither of us have been even close to getting cut. Now that I think of it, we're pretty lucky I guess" Jp said.
"Yeah. I got 40th in HDI and 11th in HDA, with some luck we might be able to do ever better. This alliance thing seems to be working, I think just keeping it small with two people is best" Eden said.
Berserker was feeding his Turtwig some food. He watched over Bergmite as it attacked specific Pokemon to raise its EVs.
Berserker wrote down the number of EVs that went up to keep track.
Blooberri was walking by with Frogadier, catching the eye of Gingerale.
"Yo! Bloo! Nice Frogadier." he said, running up to her.
"Oh, thanks Ginge." Bloo said back.
"You up for a trade?" he asked.
"Hm. What are you offering?" she asked.
"Uh, how about..." Gingerale said, reaching for the pokeballs strapped to his belt. He threw one out and a Groudon emerged.
"Whoa...you'd give this up for a Frogadier?" Blooberri asked as the Groudon towered over her.
"Yeah come on let's make a trade" Gingerale pleaded.
"Alright sure" she said, throwing the ball dramatically up in the air.
Gingerale just handed his over normally.
"This is great, oh man, oh wee, let's go catch some Pokémon Frogadier" Gingerale said.
Right off the bat they saw a Charmander wandering.
"Get EM! Get EMMM!" Gingerale shouted, and Frogadier tackled it. What followed was...kinda like this...
Gingerale threw a ball at the Charmander and it was successfully caught. He released it and looked into its eyes. He nodded and the Charmander fell over.
"Now let's get to work" Gingerale said to the Charmander.
StarForce was walking through the forest, pushing through branched and leaves as he followed a bright light. At the end of the trail he saw it: a Latias laying down in a bright green path of grass, secluded from the rest of the area.
"Oh wow...ok fellas just liek we practiced" StarForce whispered.
StarForce's Beedrill tried to sneakily approach the Latias, but StarForce made the mistake of summoning a Pokémon that's loud as fucking hell, so all the BZZZZZZZZT alerted the Latias. The Latias noticed StarForce and Beedrill and tried to run away, but StarForce threw a ball at it.
"No! No, wait! We can work together, you can become one of my birches!" StarForce pleaded.
Latias went into the ball and shook a few times, but it broke out.
"Oh come on out of 32 people here why do I have to be the one guy that gets a Pokémon that rejects them" StarForce complained.
The Latias tried to run away, but a Snivy bumped into it, knocking it down as it ran through the area. Nicholas was in hot pursuit behind its
"Wait! Wait! Kurtis! Kurtis the Snivy! Come on we can do something together haha!" Nicholas laughed as he follows close behind.
Snivy jumped over branches and ran under higher ones, Nicholas doing the same behind. The Snivy eventually reached the edge of the forest, and a huge cliff was in front of him, with the ground in front of him about two miles below. As Nicholas broke away from the vines and branches, Snivy jumped off the edge.
"Wait for me Kurtis" Nacho pleaded, jumping off after him.
The Snivy threw some vines out and latched onto the cliff edge, slowly pulling himself back out as Nicholas flew right by him and plummeted below.
"Oh crap looks like I'm dead. Damn it now who's going to tell r/Vaporwave how terrible they are?" Nicholas asked the cameraman.
"I don't know maybe Gingerale?" Freddie Benson suggested.
"NO! He does NOT know Vaporwave like I do" Nicholas protested.
As Nicholas and the cameraman were about to strike the ground, the Latias swooped down below them, catching them and soaring through the sky, being flown by StarForce.
"Oh my gosh StarForce you saved me" Nicholas said.
The wind was blowing dramatically in their hair as StarForce directed the Latias to fly high upwards, shooting through some clouds.
"Yeah, well. I wouldn't leave my Goodra behind" StarForce said, looking back at Nicholas.
"StarForce don't let go of the-"
But it was too late, StarForce let go of the and flew off the Latias, screaming as he dives through the sky. He waved his arms frantically in the air as he crashed onto the ground near Element.
"Geez, that's what you get for not wearing a parachute" Element nagged as StarForce screamed in agony.
Then Shinx tripped over a rock and landed on its face.
"Oh my gooood you poor little thing..." Element said, picking be Shinx up to comfort it.
Sam was making his Venesaur and Aipom do push-ups.
"4023. 4024. 2025. Come on ladies work on those ABES" Sam screamed, ripping his shirt off as he flexed his muscles.
Sam opened the Rotom fridge and took a red bull out, scoffing it down and finish it in 5 seconds, then crushing the can off his forehead.
"WE PLAY TO WIN BITCHEEEEEEEES" he roared.
The camera was now on Isaac.
"Oh, great. You want to see what I'm up to? Awesome, now it's my time to shine. So, I've been-"
"ATTENTION CONTESTANTS THE TRAINING IS UP. MEET AT THE POKEMON WORLD TOURNAMENT ENTRANCE WHERE THE SECOND SEGMENT OF THE CHALLENGE WILL BE BELF" Admin announced over a megaphone.
"Pokémon" Rydli yelled from the distance.
He haikuers all gathered south of Driftveil City, where the PWT was. It was a port area with some boats down south, and a cave nearby connecting to Castelia City.
"Whoa, so cool. Maybe we'll get to visit there later, a-ha" J laughed, looking over the railing at the city in the distance.
"Hey, there's a place just like that. It's called New York, which we're most likely going to go to anyways." Alice said.
"Oh yeah. Anyways, you ever think about owning a jellyfish?" J asked.
"Uh, what. Where's this coming from?" Alice asked.
"Jellyfish are so cute I need some in my life" J fawned.
"If you want to electrocute yourself sure" Alice replied.
"Hey bitches" Sam greeted as he approached them.
More haikuers showed up as the sun began to descend from the sky.
"Hey Cloud" Pantz greeted as he showed up.
"Sup" Cloud said.
[Cloud in le confession toilet]
"Let's be real, competitive Pokemon fucking sucks. But this is good because of we're going to have a Pokemon challenge, there's likely going to be a SMASH challenge. Which I will DOMINATE IN!"
Cloud's ass is wiped by the toilet manually.
"Jesus Christ when is this thing going to go away"
[le end]
Pseudonym showed up, leaning against the wall of the stadium.
"Hm. No one has seen any of the Pokemon Pseudo caught?" Pantz asked.
"Who cares, he's an irrelevant boy." Cloud said.
A giant whale crashed through a bunch of stands, Mike sitting atop of it.
"Krogre" Mike said.
"Hi" Berserker said.
Luke kicked Berserker in the legs, making him fall to the ground.
"Freak" Luke said.
"So anyone want to trade Pokémon with me, I don't really like Blissey..." Luke asked, but everyone walked away.
[Lukeguy in le confession toilet]
"Geez haiku just loves ignoring me, I gotta get back to hanging with Lemon and Alice" Luke said
[le end]
As Luke approached Alice and Lemon, Shinxy and Element showed up together.
"NIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGER fuck niggers hail hitler pooooorn" Shinxy was yelling into his ears.
Element had his ears plugged, annoyed by the nonsense.
"THAT'S IT. SHINXY I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, SHUT UP WITH THE RACIAL SLURS" Element snapped at him.
":c" Shinxy replied.
"I'm sorry Shinxy, but until you calm down I'm going to ignore you" Element said, walking away.
"Wut! Moogly? Cloud? Anyone wan tu fuck niggers with me?" Shinxy asked, but the entire team shunned him.
[Shinxy in le confession toilet]
"Is tis really how everyone feels about meh...I was just joking...they're going to exclude me just like Haikik?...but...but...niggers..."
[le end]
Shinxy slumped down and sighed, sitting alone on a bench.
Element got a hot dog from a stand and went to eat it, but it slipped out of the bun and the kitchen plastered all over Element's shirt.
"Fuck" Element said.
"Retard! Retard!" Cloud said.
"What the heck Element? Can't even use your hands now?" Rydli asked.
"Shut up it was a mistake" Element pleaded.
"Element stop being an idiot" Moogle said.
Next to the group, Lukeguy did the same thing with a mustard covered hot dog.
"Oh, oh man. I'm such a fool..." Luke said, but nobody cared.
"Really?" He asked himself.
"Alright assholes let's do this thing" Admin said, Imboo next to him walking into a trash can.
He opened the doors of the PWT and all of the contestants filed in.
The haikuers walked into the stadium, gazing around at the bright neon lights flashing around. There were loud cheers from the crowd surrounding the arena and steam was blowing from the corners of the ring. Marrowsky snapped a picture of the scene. The lights grew darker as Admin guided everyone to the second level, where a balcony enveloped the stadium and allowed them to overlook the entirety of the first floor. A giant screen lay above the ring, displaying the current matchup details, but that was yet to be decided.
"Wow, so all these people came to watch a Haiku Drama tournament live?" Alice asked.
"No, if this entire stadium was filled with Haiku Drama fans we'd have about six people. Most of them are just locale Pokémon fans wanting to see a good battle" Admin explained.
"This is so cool" J said, grabbing onto the railing and pulling on it.
"This is just like that Naruto arc where they all fought" J exclaimed.
"Come on J, really? What the heck is a Nar-oo-toe?" Nicholas asked.
"J the one time we have a challenge that relates to an anime everyone is at least a little bit familiar with, and you have to bring up ANOTHER anime" Gingerale sighed. Nicholas sighed too.
"So, Element. Catch that Mew?" Element asked.
"Don't be so anxious to fuck it, Element. You'll find out soon enough" Nicholas said.
"So, this is how it'll work. There are 32 of you here. That would mean 5 rounds of battles. However! We aren't doing that, we're doing DOUBLE battles. So 16 pairs, 2 teams, 4 rounds. Your partner will be randomly selected on the jumbo screen and you will keep that partner throughout the tournament." Admin explained as the giant screen quickly wheeled through the icons of each haikuer.
"You all have, or should have at least, caught six Pokémon. Now you can only use three Pokémon in one battle, but feel free to switch it up in other battles if need be. But you know select them before the battle starts, you can't be a dick and decide to use a fire type as soon as you discover your opponent sent out a grass type...unless you already picked the fire type not know-ok I think you get it. Anyways, yeah" Admin said.
"Ok, but what if one team completely dominates and the other other team doesn't have enough members to evenly go into the next round?" Marrowsky asked.
"Well, let's just hope for the sake of the plot everything goes smoothly and something like that doesn't happen. The brackets aren't specific, so we will move it around to avoid same team battles as much as we can, but if one team had three victors and the other has five for example, we won't mind having two pairs from the same team duking it out. The thing is, there is one ulterior goal from winning the challenge: the winning pair gets to keep ONE Pokémon from their team and use it as a mascot for the rest of the series, or until it dies, which it probably will. You know us." Admin explain.
Cue generic anime scene where everyone is surprised and he screen cuts into 32 segments to show each one's reaction.
"Holy shit I'm not reading all of that can you trim it down?" Element asked.
"tl;dr double team tournament winning team chooses one Pokémon to keep" Moogle replied.
"Thank" Element said.
"Ok with it further ado, our first pairs will be..." Admin began.
Everyone watched the jumbo screen as the screen was split by two lines dividing it into four corners, each scrolling quickly through each contestant's icon. Everyone watched with anticipation. After a few seconds to came to as top and the four haikuers were selected simultaneously.
GingeraleDragon & Nicholas
Vs.
Cloud & Kirby
"Already, eh? And with my great bud, Nicholas. Let's go kick some ass" Gingerale said, patting Nicholas' back.
"Hm! Hm! Let's do this" Cloud said.
[Cloud in le confession toilet]
"The others might underestimate me, but don't be mistaken I can be pretty beast at Pokémon. Let's not forget the person who caused Mr. Moogle to reveal his face, all because he lost in a battle against me..."
[le end]
"Yay! I'm so excited, right off the bat! Haha, let's do this Cloud!" Kirby said excitedly, grabbing Cloud's arm.
As the four started walking down the steps and made their way toward the arena, there was some chatter amongst the haikuers.
"Well this should be an easy one. Gingerale and Nicholas both suck at Pokémon" Rydli said.
"Maybe, but don't forget we'll be using anime rules. Which means you can literally yell "dodge it" and make your Pokémon stronger just by believing in them. They may overcome our comrades..." Mr. Moogle noted.
On the left side of the ring, Nicholas and Gingerale stood side by side.
On the right side, Cloud and Kirby.
The four icons mashed against each other on the screen overhead.
They all sent out their first Pokémon.
Gingerale sent out a Greninja, Nicholas a Grovyle, Cloud a Vileplume, and Kirby a Lopunny.
"MATCH #1...BEGIN!" Admin shouted over the speakers.
"Ok Nicholas how should w-"
"GROVYLE VORE ATTACK NOW!" Nicholas shouted.
Grovyle speedily ran over to Cloud's Vileplume, trying to slice it, but it dodged each attack. Vileplume released a powder into the area, falling upon the Grovyle and making it dreary before suddenly collapsing into slumber.
"Oh, crap" Gingerale said.
"Lopunny, stomp!" Kirby commanded.
The Lopunny leaped into the air and crashed down, behind its foot into Grovyle's head.
"Ok now this is stupid he should have woken up from that or any attack really" Nicholas said.
Gingerale gritted his teeth.
"Greninja, water shuriken!" Gingerale commanded, and he threw five shuriken a made out of water at Vileplume, each time shouting "Ning!" they looked above on the screen to see Vileplume's health bar barely go down.
"You see this is why you should tell the Pokémon which one you want to attack" Nicholas said.
"Vileplume, poison powder!" Cloud commanded, and the purple bubbles fell around Grovyle, making him begin to shutter in pain.
"Lopunny, foresight!" Kirby commanded.
"Really?" Cloud asked.
"It would be best to out their Lopunny..." Nicholas said.
"Nice idea, Einstein. Maybe you should switch out your Grovyle he's doing terrible. A fire type might work." Gingerale said.
"Yeah didn't catch one of those. Might have a fire attack though."
"Just do whatever, as long as it's not a grass type" Gingerale said.
"Grovyle, return. Go, DONPHAN! Ok I sounded gay shouting that I'm not doing that again" Nicholas said as Grovyle retracted into the ball and a giant Donphan emerged onto the ground, letting out a mighty roar.
"What the hell? A Donphan? Why that of all Pokémon?" Gingerale asked.
"I nicknamed a Phanpy Element and another Evn and made them have a baby, and this is all grown up." Nicholas explained.
The Donphan curled up into a ball and started rolling swiftly towards Vileplume and Lopunny.
"Eee" Kirby made a cute noise and flinched.
"Dude, protect" Cloud said, bumping Kirby's shoulder.
"Oh right. Lopunny, use protect!" Kirby commanded, and Lopunny a barrier in front of her.
Cloud and Kirby watched with confident looks as the Donphan rolled right past the barrier and Lopunny and straight into Cloud's Vileplume, knocking it to the ground. The Donphan started digging its feet into the ground, preparing for the next attack.
"Ok lol, giga drain" Cloud commanded, and a bunch of energy was sucked out of Donphan and transferred to Vileplume.
Rydli pushed his glasses up.
"It's super effective" he said.
J pushed his glasses up.
"You see, ground type Pokémon are weak to grass type Pokémon" J explained.
The Donphan started growing weary.
"Wow we really do suck at this" Gingerale exclaimed.
"Alright Lopunny. Let's do this! Mega evolution!" Kirby said, pulling their arm out in front of them dramatically and tapping their bracelet. A huge light flashed from the bracelet as it did with Lopunny's mega stone. A giant white flash enveloped Lopunny as it grew black pants.
"Aw shit we can mega evolve I wasn't told of this" Gingerale complained.
"Lopunny use slap attack" Kirby commanded, and let me tell you that Lopunny slapped THE SHIT out of Greninja.
Greninja and Donphan started panting tiredly, as Vileplume and Mega Lopunny stood side by side confidently.
"Well this taught me never to be partnered with Gingerale" Nicholas said.
"Dude we both still have two more Pokémon each after this. We can do this. Your Donphan know earthquake?" Gingerale asked.
"Yeah" Nicholas replied.
"Use it." Gingerale suggested.
"That Lopunny may be mega evolved but that doesn't stop it from having shitty moves" Gingerale said.
"Greninja, substitute" Gingerale commanded, and Greninja formed a small Pokémon plushie to take its place as he hid in the shadows.
"Donphan earthquake now" Nicholas said.
Donphan buried its four legs into the ground and then slammed his head onto the floor with a cry. The entire arena rumbled as rocks began to form on the ground. Vileplume, Mega Lopunny, and the plushie shook hard. Lopunny fell down and fainted, as did Greninja's plushie. Vileplume was still standing with red HP, if panted and eyes the opponent Pokémon furiously.
"Nice" Gingerale said, going in for a high five but Nicholas didn't notice it and ignored it.
"We still got this. Their Grovyle is practically dead and Donphan is pretty weakened. If we target all of Nicholas' Pokémon until only Gingerale is left, he'll be forced to fight us one on two" Cloud said.
"Ooo, not a bad idea!" Kirby clapped.
"Yeah I know, I'm not called The Money Guy for no reason" Cloud said, flipping his hair.
Kirby threw out their second Pokeball, unleashing Carracosta.
J pushed his glasses up.
"Interesting choice, Kirby casted Carracosta, a water/rock type, which has an advantage over Donphan, a ground type" he said.
[Lemon in le confession toilet]
"This fights getting intense. Cloud and Kirb are my buds, but Gingerale and Nicholas are my teammates. Hmm"
[le end]
"Carracosta use-"
"Wait, your Carracosta know stealth rock?" Cloud asked.
"Um, I think so?" Kirby replied.
Jp pushed her glasses up.
"Stealth rock is a move that places rocks around the other team's feet, so every time they switch a Pokémon out, the one switching in is damaged" Jp explained.
"I like feet" Lukeguy said.
"Carracosta, stealth rock!" Kirby ordered, and with that a couple dozen of small rocks were thrown around Gingerale and Nicholas' Pokemon's feet.
"It might be best to risk the damage of Grovyle in order to quickly defeat Carracosta" Gingerale suggested.
"Alright whatever you say, Ginge...but if my GrovyLE dies he's taking you with him..." Nicholas said.
"Elephent Jr, return. Go Grovyle" Nicholas commanded, switching between the two Pokémon.
As Grovyle was released he fell right into the pile of rocks, inflicting damage. He was also inflicted by poison and continued to sleep. The screen above them all shows Grovyle's health fall into the yellow section.
"Is it my turn? I don't care I'm going, Vileplume use giga drain on Greninja" Cloud ordered, and Vileplume absorbed some energy from Greninja, brining his health to yellow as Vileplume went from red to yellow.
"Greninja shadow sneak on Vileplume" Gingerale commanded.
Greninja buried himself into the ground, where his shadow crept up to Vileplume, who was looking around nervously to see where he went. He popped out of the ground and punched Vileplume, knocking it in its back and bringing its health down to critical condition.
"Carracosta, surf!" Kirby said.
"[sighs] you fool" Cloud said, but it was too late.
A giant wave swept the entire arena, swiping Greninja, Grovyle, and Vileplume all of their feet. As the wave disappeared, the Pokémon were all laid on the ground, a small amount of damage to each because of their resistance from water. But it was enough to kill Cloud's Vileplume, who closed its eyes and cried, and Gingerale's Greninja, which looked at his master one as he collapsed, no longer able to continue.
Eden pushed her glasses up.
"You see, surf attacks all players on the field, not just your opponents" she explained.
Grovyle woke up.
"Ok Grovyle, vine whip, goooooo" Nicholas said, not trying to sound enthusiastic.
The Grovyle ran across the floor, leaping up and pulling its right arm back to attack. The Carracosta held both hands in front of him in protection, but Grovyle slashed right through them, knocking Carracosta back and making him faint.
"Nice..." Nicholas said.
More damage was given to Grovyle due to poison, and he fell over on top of Carracosta, fainting as well.
"My baby.." Nicholas said.
Gingerale, Nicholas, Cloud, and Kirby all eyes each other as they held their next Pokeball in hand. At the same time, they all threw theirs and the four Pokémon came out at once: Gingerale's Charizard, Nicholas' Donphan, Cloud's Cloyster, and Kirby's Wigglytuff.
"Fly!" Gingerale yelled.
"Earthquake!" Nicholas commanded.
Charizard gave a mighty roar before leaping into the air and flying upwards.
Donphan rumbled the ground, making Cloyster and Wifflytuff wobbles about.
Wigglytuff tripped and landed on her face, making her face grow red with anger.
"Sing!" Kirby ordered.
Wigglytuff took her microphone out and took a huge breath, prepared to sing, but Charizard fame crashing down, headbutting Wigglytuff and making her wobble around aimlessly.
"No!" Cloud said.
"Wiggly..." Wigglytuff cried, accidentally directing her song to Cloyster.
"Wigglytuff~" she sang, and Cloyster fell asleep.
"Heh, Cloyster kind of looks like a vag" Joe said.
"Are you 12" Marrowsky asked
"Donphan, use-
"WIGGLYTUFF ROLLOUT LET'S GO" Kirby screamed.
"What the heck you just went like two turns ago what is this insanity?" Nicholas asked.
Wigglytuff laid on her back, stretching her small feet up in front of her. She grabbed her feet and started rolling forward. Starting slowly but building up speed, she started going very fast before rolling across he floor and crashing into Donphan, knocking the huge Pokémon back and causing it to faint.
"Ok, let's do this...Serperior" Nicholas said, calling the Pokémon out as it popped out of its ball.
"You chose...two grass types...out of your three choices..." Gingerale said in disbelief.
"Well how else would we show off how Serperior we are to the others?" Nicholas asked.
The Serperior snapped its tail and eyes the Wigglytuff maliciously.
"Charizard, flamethrower on Cloyster" Gingerale said, tipping his Charizard hat.
Charizard took a huge breath and then directed his mouth towards Cloud. Some steam came out of his nostrils before a hue narrow wave of fire erupted out of his mouth, completely targeted at Cloyster. Cloud held an arm in front of him to protect him from the heat. The Cloyster continued to snooze as his health depleted.
"Serperior, bind" Nicholas said, and Serperior slithered about, hissing his tongue as he crept among the opposing team.
Wigglytuff tried backing up near its trainer for safety, but it backed right into Serperior, who wrapped its body around her and squeezed her tight.
"Wigglytuff!" she cried in pain.
Wigglytuff's health fell into the yellow section.
Serperior looked deep into Wigglytuff's eyes and she returned the favor. They glared at each other but Serperior's expression of disdain started to fade as he noticed her cute, huge blue eyes with anime dots in them to make them look kawaii. She started to blush as Serperior smiled at her, moving her ears down in shyness.
"Wigglytuff..." she said Savin, Serperior squeezing harder.
Serperior brought his mouth close to hers and they connected, sharing a kiss. Serperior's slithery tongue invaded Wigglytuff's mouth, making her say her name in pleasure. She closed her eyes as she got lost in the kiss. Serperior pressed his mouth against hers even harder, his eyes growing red. Her mouth tightened up as she felt a tug. Her mouth was being pulled to his. Her body slowly skipped it of his hold and towards his mouth. Serperior's mouth grew bigger as he widened it to fit Wigglytuff's entire mouth in there. Wigglytuff's body started to slowly move into Serperior's mouth until only her lower body was left outside. He pulled harder and she went deeper in, starting to fall through his throat, her entire body was now inside him. He closed his mouth as she fell into his stomach.
Element's hand slowly reached towards his penis.
"No!" Shinxy slapped Element's hand.
Cloyster's eye opener dramatically.
"Oh man, I really screwed up..." Kirby daughter sadly.
"Hey, you did your best. If we lose, we lose together." Cloud said supportively.
Kirby looked at him and nodded.
"Now Cloyster...Icicle Spear" Cloud ordered, and a giant wave of icicles circled around Serpeior before attacking him on all sides.
Serperior's eyes closed as he fell to the ground and unwrapped his body.
Nicholas called Serperior back into his ball.
Gingerale and Cloud were the last two, each with two Pokémon left.
[Cloud in le confession toilet]
"At that moment I knew I had the game"
[le end]
[Gingerale in le confession toilet]
"Cloud may have beaten Moogle before, but he still has one weakness here that he didn't have back then: he doesn't have Pokegen this time"
[le end]
"CHARIZARD FLAMETHROWER" Gingerale yelled.
Charizard lifted himself off the ground, flying towards Cloyser in a narrow path. The steam stated coming out of his nostrils.
"Dodge it bitch" Cloud said.
The narrow fire erupted out of Charizard's mouth, directed at Cloyster, but he jumped out of the way, causing him to miss.
The audience gasped.
Rydli pushed his glasses up.
"You see, Cloud anticipated Charizard's radius of attack from the last flamethrower, and planned Cloyster's evasive counter accordingly" he explained.
Cloyster jumped in the air as Charziard flew to where he was just standing. Charizard looked up to see Cloyster snickering at him below.
"Now use rock blast" Cloud said.
Five rounded rocks were shot out of Cloyster, each one striking Charizard and causing him to fall back a little. By the fifth rock, Charizard collapsed onto the stage, causing the whole floor to rumble a bit.
"Take that, low-tier shit" Cloud mocked.
"Shit. Charizard, get back" Gingerale said, putting his Pokeball out and calling his Pokémon back.
Cloud gave a high five to Cloyster then felt pain because he just high fived a rock.
"Ok. It's all up to you..." Gingerale said, tossing his Pokeball in the air.
Upon reaching the ground it snapped open and his third Pokémon came out, the Mach Pokémon Gatchomp. He roared as he positioned his arms in a fighting stance. The rocks on the floor dug into Garchomp's feet.
"Oh wow how intimidating. What are you going to do fuck it?" Cloud asked.
With Garchomp same a raging standstorm, only affecting those within the arena.
The rest of the haikuers watched the event eagerly.
Garchomp eyes Cloyster and snorted, Cloyster snickered. Garchomp took off, running for Cloyster. A group of icicle spears formed around Cloyster ready for attack but just as they were all thrown, Garchomp buried himself deep in the ground . Cloyster's smile faded as Garchomp dug up directly below him, punching Cloyster and knocking him to the ground, where his health depleted to zero. Cloud reluctantly called Cloyster back to his ball. Garchomp crossed its arm and snarled at him as he prepared his final Pokémon. Steelix came out of Cloud's ball.
"Time to bring you down" Cloud said, pulling out his arm, with a bracelet on his wrist.
Cloud smacked the bracelet, causing a huge light of varying colors to shoot out of it in the form of an X.
"Oh yeah!" Gingerale snapped back.
Gingerale did the same, pulling out his bracelet and smacking it. Both glowed for a bit as their respective Pokémon's stones began to flow. A huge light emitted from Garchomp and Steelix, and a circular light surrounded both of them. The air around the arena got rough, so Cloud and Gingerale braced themselves as the power of the mega evolved Pokémon were unleashed le. Steelix grew some longer rocks on its chin, and some rocks began orbiting around its face. Garchomp's scythe like underarms grew sharper with a red outline, and more spikes formed along his chest line. Both Steelix and Garchomp roared upon their complete evolution, and eyes each other down.
"Earthquake!" Gingerale said.
Mega Garchomp got down on all fours and dug his scythes into the ground, where he shook it and caused some massive damage to Steelix.
"Uh, heavy slam?" Cloud askedZ
Mega Steelix threw its entire body at Mega Garchomp. Mega Garchomp's health only want down a little.
"Shit, shit, no. Fuck me fifknme Dick emeleoeoakKnnnn! I should have used Mewtwo irojically'l!" Cloud shouted.
Gingerale pointed his finger at Mega Steelix, and Mega Garchomp leaped towards him, lifting his arms out and digging them deep into the Mega Steelix's rough skin. Some scratches formed and Mega Garchomp whipped its tail at the Steelix, knocking it down. The large body of Mega Steelix came crashing down, and the four haikuers in the arena were lifted a bit upon the impact on the ground.
"And our winners are...GingeraleDragon and Nicholas!" Admin shouted.
Some confetti shot over the arena and the crowd exploded into cheers. Gingerale and Nicholas' icons were on the huge screen with the word "Winners!" flashing.
The haikuers on the second floor were shocked
"Hmm" Marrowsky said, his Lucario was next to him watching blankly.
"Damn" Alice said.
"Yes!" Nicholas said.
"We did it Reddit" Gingerale said.
"Bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit fight me in a game with an actually good competitive meta like Smash and I'll kick your ass" Cloud threatened.
"Aww I had fun. You were a good teammate Cloud" Kirby said, hugging him.
"Shut up that doesn't make me feel better!" Cloud said.
The four walked back up the stairs and back to the second level quarters, standing near their teammates.
"That was so cool. I hope I get to go soon, a-ha! You know what else is cool, jellyfish? I wish I had one" J exclaimed.
Everyone watched the jumbo screen as it was spot into four sections again, each scrolling through everyone's icon.
Berserker & J
Vs.
Marrowsky and Grenade
"Whaaaaaaat? Marrowsky will be there? 3" J asked.
"J..." Berserker said quietly.
"Let's see how Berserker will fuck this up" Luke crossed his arm.
"The Canadian bros" Joe said.
Berserker, J, Marrowsky, and Grenade all walked down the stairs and onto the stage. Berserker and J stood on the left side, and Marrowsky and Grenade the right.
"I have to fight Marrowsky...no..." J said.
"Good luck" Marrowsky said to them.
"Yeah. We're gonna, like, beat you and stuff" Grenade said.
"Begin" Admin said.
They all tossed their first Pokeball.
Avalugg came out of Berserker's ball, Meganium out of J's, Lucario was already standing by Marrowsky ready for battle, and Maractus came out of Grenade's ball.
"Nice Maractus" Berserker complimented.
"Really dude? You picked a Pokémon I nobody likes" Marrowsky said to Grenade.
"We got this Muna" J said confidently.
"I thought you named it Luna" Berserker said.
"No, I didn't. You weren't around to hear it you don't know that" J replied.
"That was the joke" Cloud said to the others.
"What?" Pantz asked.
"That whole, y'know, weird dialogue exchange. It was intentionally awkward to make it humorous" Cloud said.
"Why are you telling me this?" Pantz asked.
"I, uh, that's the joke too. This was completely out of right field to be funny" Cloud said.
"The expression is out of left field" Pantz said.
"I know that I said it wrong to be funny but you pointing it out ruined it gah!" Cloud complained.
"Blizzard" Berserker said, and a huge gust of wind and ice attacked Maractus and Lucario. It barely hurt Lucario, but the damage was enough to immediately knock Maractus out.
Marrowksy gave Grenade a disappointed look, and Grenade shrugged nervously.
"Close combat, GO!" Marrowksy commanded, and the Lucario was quickly ok its feet.
The Lucario ran towards the other team, building up power in its fist. Once it got to Avalugg, it unleashed a furry of punches, circling around it and punching it at all ends. The Avalugg grew tired and collapsed on all fours, fainting, leaving Lucario and Chikorita.
"Muna, razor leaf!" J shouted, and the Meganium gave out a cry before shooting out a small set of sharp leaves directed to he Lucario.
The leaves touched Lucario and made his health barely move down.
"Ok why is grass supposed to be taken seriously in this world?" J asked.
Berserker threw out a Torterra, and Grenade Qwilfish.
"What the...a Qwilfish? Really?" Marrowsky asked Grenade.
"Lucario get back" Marrowsky said, and Lucario got behind him as he sent out his next Pokémon.
"EARTHQUAKE" Berserker commanded.
The Torterra stomped the ground and it shook violently as Marrowsky's next Pokémon, Floatzel, appeared.
Floatzel, Meganium, and Qwilfish all wobbled a bit, but the damage wasn't very effective.
"J, you have the advantage. You gotta attack Marrowsky" Berserker said.
"But. murrowsky..." J said.
Grenade's Qwilfish shot a pin at Meganium, who cried. Meganium was no poisoned.
"No! Meganium, giga drain on Qwilfish!" J commanded.
"And Torterra, razor leaf in Floatzel" Berserker said.
"Whoa, whoa, slow down. I'm pretty sure you skipped my turn. Floatzel, ice punch" Marrowsky ordered.
A storm of leaves went towards Floatzel, but Floatzel ran and ducked under it, delivering a punch to Meganium. Meganium wobbled back a bit but then shook her head to regain focus.
Energy was snapped from Qwilfish, who fell down and died. All of the energy was given to Meganium, who stop tall as she regained health.
"Grenade, if they knock out your last Pokémon I'm screed. So don't screw this up." Marrowsky said, grabbing Grenade by his shirt.
"You betcha" Grenade nodded.
Grenade sent out his last Pokémon, Heatmor.
"Uh, what's that?" Marrowsky asked.
"Heatmor" Heatmor said, flicking his tongue.
"Floatzel ice punch" Marrowsky repeated.
"Heatmor, heat wave" Grenade said.
Meganium dodged Floatzel's many punches.
"Counter it, J" Berserker said.
"Meeeeee" Meganium cried as Floatzel punched it, knocking it to the ground.
Meganium tried standing up, Floatzel stood in front of her with her arms crossed. As Meganium stood, the huge wave of heat overcame her and knocked her out entirely. She dropped her head, defeated. Torterra braced himself as the heat came to him, his health went down somewhat but he still had a hefty amount.
Rydli pushed his glasses up.
"You see, Torterra is not only a grass type, but a ground type as well. Ground is resistant to fire, whereas grass is WEAK to fire. Not a bad combination, eh?" Rydli explained.
"Whoa..." Kirby said.
Pseudonym still stood with his back against the wall, holding a bored expression.
"Come on Marrowsky..." He said under his breath.
"You did good Muna. But now it's time for...Cameron!" J shouted, tossing his next Pokémon on the ground, but nothing came out.
"What?" Grenade asked.
"Wow after so many years I guess nobody has ever thrown a Pokeball as shittily as J just did, so it didn't land on the button" Sam said.
Imboo walked into the railing, falling over and crashing down to the first level.
J walked over and pressed the Pokeball button manually, releasing the Feraligatr.
"Oh my God, it's Alejandro" Nicholas shouted.
"Go, go, Alejandro!" Gingerale cheered.
"Alright Feraligate, use waterfall on Heatmor" J pointed.
The Feraligatr roared and held his arms out, letting a huge wall of water come crashing down towards Heatmor.
"Floatzel, protect Heatmor" Marrowsky said.
Floatzel ran over and pushed Heatmor or of the way, letting the water come down on herself instead. The damage wasn't very effective.
"Torterra, leach seed" Berserker said plainly, and Torterra launched a seed to plant on Floatzel.
Marrowsky looked at each other and nodded.
"Floatzel, ice punch on Torterra!" Marrowsky yelled.
"Heatmor, use...use...uh...what the heck does a Heatmor know? Um, shadow claw" Grenade said.
Heatmor jumped into the air and pulled his arms back as dark energy built up in its palms. It came towards Feraligatr and swiped at it. Feraligatr responded with a waterfall, crashing down in Heatmor and causing him to fair immediately.
"Crap, crap, crap" Grenade said, grabbing his head.
"Your invitation to the 2016 Canadian barbecue has been revoked." Marrowsky said.
Floatzel leaped upon Torterra, who tried throwing her off, but Floatzel held tightly onto the Pokémon. She continued to hold onto the tree on the back of Torterra as she formed a fist, giving a strong punch at the Torterra, making him fall down. Torterra growler, trying to get up, but failed. Floatzel jumped off the Pokémon and smirked.
"Berserker has one Pokémon, Jonah has two, and I have three...I can pull this off, I just need to get rid of Berserker's last Pokémon immediately." Marrowsky said to himself.
"Can I help strategize?" Grenade asked.
"No." Marrowsky replied.
"Ok J. I'm assuming your last Pokémon is Typhlosion. Both Feraligatr and Typhlosion won't hold up well against his Floatzel unless you have a counter move, so try to get rid of it as soon as you can" Berserker advised.
Berserker threw his last Pokeball into the ring, where Sandslash emerged.
"Sandslash" it said.
"Floatzel, aqua jet!" Marrowksy said.
Floatzel surrounded herself with a veil of water before narrowing her eyes and shooting at Sandslash.
"Dig, now!" Berserker said, and Sandslash swiftly buried himself deep underground.
Berserker bumped J with his and to alert him.
Floatzel looked around, watching the ground closely to see where Sandslash was. Floatzel felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to see Feraligatr, who took a huge gapping bite out of her neck. Floatzel squeezed, falling backwards and holding her neck in pain as she cried. Where she landed, Sandslash opened a hole from underneath, pulling her down and slicing her up. Sandslash jumped out of the hole victorious.
[J in le confession toilet]
"Sorry Marrowsky"
]le end[
Feraligatr and Sandslash stood side by side as Marrowsky called out his next Pokémon, Delphox.
"Wow, does Marrowsky's entire team consist of furry bait?" Element asked from the balcony.
"Strange choice..." Berserker said.
"Confuse rat" Marrowsky said immediately
"Dig" Berserker shot back, Sandslash bruised himself underground as the ray floated over him.
As Sandslash stayed safely in his hole, the ray struck Feraligatr, affecting his vision and making him begin to wobble around. Everything became doubles and his aim was not unreliable.
"Hydro cannon!" J shouted.
"What the hell do you understand how risky that is?" Berserker asked.
"Yeah but it was already in my queue I couldn't change it unless it was the next turn" J explained.
Sandslash leaped up from the ground. It eyes Delphox and ran on all fours towards it, digging his sharp claws into the ground. But behind him a huge cannon of water was shot at him, picking him up and slamming him past Delphox and into the wall, where water continued to pour all over him until he could no longer even twitch.
"Sandslash is no longer able to battle. Berserker is out, leaving J and Marrowsky" Admin announced.
The Feraligatr and Delphox started moving closer to each other. Feraligatr threw a pinch at the fox but she dodged it and grabbed his arm, taking a stick out of her ads and shoving it in Feraligatr's eye, making him shout.
"Rip out one of the alligator's eyes" Cloud shouted from above, echoing through the stadium.
The Feraligatr stood on it ass, panting heavily as the Delphox moved closer to it, his vision was still blurry so he saw four of them.
"Feraligatr, just close your eyes and follow your instincts. You're a freakin water type don't let that Delphox best you" J shouted.
Feraligatr closed his eyes and stood up. Delphox twirled her stick around as fire caught on each side. She prepared to attack but Feraligatr blew his cheeks and spit out a rush of water, knocking Delphox down and making her wet all over. She was about to get up but Feraligatr stomped on her. Feraligatr reached down and took a huge bite out of her shoulder, causing her to scream and pant heavily, her eyelids slowly falling in defeat.
"Lucario, low seep" Marrowsky commanded, and Lucario quickly leapt into the battlefield.
Feraligatr turned to face him, but the Lucario slid past him, bringing his leg out and swiping at Feraligatr's feet and tripping him. Feraligatr fell upon Delphox and struggled to get back up. Lucario stood up victorious.
Mr. Moogle pushed his glasses up.
"You see, low sweep does more damage the heavier the Pokémon is." he explained.
"Ok J, you're still in this. Just go all in." Berserker said.
J glanced over to see Marrowsky in the background watching them, and Lucario in the foreground doing the same.
"But...Marrowksy..." J said.
"JUST DO IT!" Berserker shouted.
"There's the meme" Joe said.
J looked over at Marrowsky and pulled out his last Pokeball. He held his arm out with his Pokeball faxing his opponent. He tossed the Pokeball upwards for it to come down and release his final Pokémon.
"Go, Marrowsky!" J said, and a Typhlosion came out. It stood up and yawned, a ring of fire surround its head.
"Sorry Jonah..." Marrowsky said as he took out a bracelet and strapped it on to his wrist. He slammed on it and a giant light of varying colors came out of it.
Lucario started glowing as he morphed into a more powerful form. His feet, hands, and the tips of his dreadlocks turned red, some extra spiked formed and more black streaks appeared. His hair flower in the wind as he roared, Mega Lucario now standing before J and Typhlosion.
"Mega Lucario, bone rush" Marrowsky said.
Mega Lucario took out a bone and flung it at Typhlosion, it struck him directly in the head, knocking him down and doing lots of damage. It returned to Mega Lucario and he threw it again at Typhlosion, doing even more damage.
"No...come on Marrowksy we can beat Marrowsky, just stand up..." J pleaded.
Mega Lucario stood and eyes down Typhlosion, waiting for him to make his move. The Typhlosion's health was in the yellow, nearing red. He used all his strength to get up. Mega Lucario put his arms out in a fighting stance.
"Flamethrower!" J commanded, and a line of fire shot straight out of Typhlosion's mouth, striking Mega Lucario and making him flinch a bit.
Mega Lucario's health went down to barely make it into the yellow section.
Mega Lucario ran to Typhlosion, readying its arms. It punched Typhlosion in the gut, then the head, then the underarms, circling around and continuing to punch in every area possible. The Typhlosion fell to his knees, wheezing as his health flashed in the red. It looked up at the Mega Lucario towering above him, who kicked him in the face and knocked him on his back. Mega Lucario started walking band towards Marrowsky.
"Sorry, Jonah" Marrowsky said, tipping his hat.
J sighed.
"The winners of this match, MARROWSKY AND GRENADE!" Admin shouted, and the crowd cheered.
As Mega Lucario got closer to Marrowksy, the crowd gasped. The Lucario turned around to see the Typhlosion twitching a bit. It pushed itself up, getting up on one knee. It slowly got on its second leg and started huffing wildly.
"Well you know he's gonna win now because they made a whole big deal about it" Lukeguy said.
"I will become hokage" J said seriously.
"Uh, what?" Marrowsky asked.
The Typhlosion limped to the Lucario slowly. Mega Lucario got in his his battle stance again. The Typhlosion got closer and closer, finally getting a few feet away, he grabbed onto Lucario's shoulder to hold him up, breathing heavily. The Mega Lucario pulled back his arm and punched Typhlosion in the face, making him fall a bit, but he held on. He brought himself up again. Mega Lucario brushed Typhlosion's hand off his shoulder and grabbed Typhlosion's back, bringing bik closer so they now touched. Typhlosion's chest was stabbed by Lucario's spike. Typhlosion fell to the ground, breathing slowly. His eyes were now half shut. The Lucario stood above him, and was ready to finish him off. He picked his foot up and brought it down to finish Typhlosion off, but he caught it. Lucario tried to break free but Typhlosion held tightly onto the leg. Mega Lucario tried wobbling free but only made himself trip and fall on his own back. Trying to break free, Lucario grunted. But this gave Typhlosion a clear shot at him.
"Flmarhrower." J said.
A blast of fire shot out of Typhlosion and overcame Mega Lucario's face, making the Pokémon feel weary before dropping its head and fainting, morphing back to its normal state in unconsciousness.
"Wow. So, uh. Berserker, J, you guys are the actual winners. Nice job." Admin congratulated.
Marrowsky's jaw dropped.
"Alright, alright, back to the stands. Our next competitors need to get down here" Admin said.
"That was great, a-ha! Nice job Marrowsky" J said, hugging his Pokémon.
"Cool" Berserker said.
Berserker, J, Marrowsky, and Grenade all walked back up to the second level, awaiting the next battle.
Grenade slammed his head off the railing, sighing.
"Not bad, Marrowsky. You almost did good" Rydli said.
"Round 2 boys ayyyy" Gingerale said as Berserker and J walked up near them.
"You proud of me, Ginge? A-ha?" J asked.
"No." Gingerale responded flatly.
"Hm, I've never seen Berserker fight before..." Moogle said from across the floor.
The jumbo screen had already declared the next battle:
Stickboy & Lukeguy
Vs.
Jp and Joe
"Woo, this should be fun!" Joe shouted, pumping her fists in the air and jumping over the railing.
"Jp? I-oh..." STICKBUT said.
"We'll get to see Luke fight, neat" Lemon said.
"Yeah, I wonder when it's gonna be my turn though...starting to get frisky..." Alice said.
"Frisky for the risky!?" Mike asked.
Stickboy and Luke stood on the left side of the arena, Jp and Joe on the right. They eyes each other before Admin gave them instruction to begin.
"Go Lukeguy!" Lemon, Alice, and Mike cheered.
"and Stickboy, woo..." Stickboy quietly whispered.
"You ready for this?" Jp asked.
"Aaaaaaaaaw yeah, let's kick some ass" Joe nodded.
The four all sent out their Pokémon.
Lukeguy tossed out a Blissey, Stickboy a Samurott, Jp a Rosersde, and Joe an Empoleon.
"Blissey? Really?" Stickboy asked.
"First of all Bissey is actually Good, second of all nobody would trade with me..." Luke said.
"Wow, she must have trained the Rosea I gave her..." Stickboy said, looking at the Roserade.
"What..." Luke asked.
"Oh I have her a Rosea as a gift" Stickboy explained.
"You have her...a skin rash?" Luke asked.
"Hey guys shut up and focus on the battle" Jp yelled over.
"I'll go for the Empoleon, you go for Rosea" Stickboy advised.
"Doesn't your Pokémon know ice beam?" Luke asked.
"Uh, maybe. But I don't want to hurt Jp" Stickboy said.
Samurott ran onto the field where Empoleon was and their horns connected. They continued to swing at each other in a swordfight fashion.
"Ok, Blissey use egg bomb" Luke said, and Blissey giggled as she pooped out a bomb, which was thrown at Roserade and barely did any damage.
Roserade danced around the field, twirling around Blissey as she touched her face with her hands, paralyzing her. Blissey was now stuck and couldn't move.
Samurott and Empoleon continued to fight, Blissey struggled to move.
"Alright Roserade, lead storm on Samurott"
Jp commanded.
Empoleon pushed Samurott away as the stork of leads brushed up against him, forcing Samurott onto the ground as leaves piled onto him until he fainted.
"Really? That easily?" Luke asked.
Empoleon rushed towards Blissey with its horn sticking out and glowing. It stuck its horn deep into Blissey's ass and started turning it like a drill at extreme speed. Blissey rotated orge and orge until she flew off the stage, landing on the ground fainted.
"What the fuck every other team got like a huge dramatic fight before their Pokémon fainted, and Blissey is SUPPOSED to last long" Luke complained.
Stickboy summoned a Scrafty, and Luke a Cofagrigus.
"Hm, cool. What made you catch one of those?" Stickboy asked.
"So when I die it can bury its my body within its casket" Luke explained.
"Cool, cool" Stickboy nodded.
"Empoleon, surf!" Joe said.
A huge wave of water crashed through the arena, inflicting damage upon Roderade, Scrafty, and Cofagrigus. It wasn't very effective on Roserade.
Scrafty tried pulling his pants up and slipped on the water.
"Swagger" Stickboy said.
"Really? Do you really want to risk that?" Luke asked.
Roserade was throwing out toxic spikes among Cofagrigus and Scrafty's feet.
"Cofagrigus use shadow ball" Luke said, attacking Empoleon.
It barely did damage
"You're supposed to be specific on who to attack" Stickboy said.
Scrafty went to attack Roserade but slipped over his pants. He tried getting up but Stickboy coughed, cueing him to faint. Scrafty dropped to the ground and closed his eyes.
Empoleon rushed towards Cofagrigus, putting its head back and releasing a large cannon of water directed towards him. Cofagrigus fell down and fainted.
Lukeguy was smacking his head with his hands while Stickboy was whistling.
"We're doing great!" Jp said.
"Yeah, man! Wow, we're such a good team, haha." Joe laughed. Joe looked up at the stands and waved at Pantz.
"Ok Stickboy. Don't fuck this up" Luke pleaded.
"Oops my Bidoof already fainted" Stickboy said.
Luke sighed and tossed his last Pokéball, unleashing Sawk.
"Let's kick some ducking ass" Luke said.
Sawk ran across the floor, leaping up and aiming for Empoleon. It duh it's foot into Empoleon's head, knocking him down and defeating him. Roserade danced over, above to throw position at it, but Sawk grabbed Roserade's arm and flipped her over, throwing her off the ground and knocking her out. Sawk jumped back towards Lukeguy. Sawk put his hand arm up for Luke to give him affection, but Lukeguy didn't know how to.
"It's one Pokémon we can do this" Jp said, and Joe nodded.
Joe threw out a Delibird, while Jp summoned a Mienshao.
"Delibird? Who the FUCK used a Delibird?" Sam asked.
"It's cool ok" J said.
Jp chuckled.
"Looks like Lukeguy's in a pickle. Fighting types are weak to flying types" she said.
"Yeeeeeeah my Delibird only knows present..." Joe said.
Delibird handed Sawk a present and smiled, Sawk's health was restored and he punched Delibird in the face.
Mienshao whipped its arm at Sawk, harming him. Sawk rubbed his arm, trying to soak in the damage. He rushed towards Delibird, kicking him off the stage. He then flipped backwards and attempted to brick break Mienshao, but Mienshao slapped him away with her...things...and he fell to the ground. Mienshao was over him, ready to attack, but he did a 360 kick and knocked her down. He quickly got to his feet and went to punch her, but Mienshao rolled over, making Sawk miss. She jumped to her feet and grabbed Sawk, pulling both her arms behind his back and putting him in a submission position, laying him on the ground. Sawk tried to break free but Mienshao tugged on his arms, trying to break them off. Sawk screamed. Luke flinched and looked away. As Sawk's health depleted more and more, going from green to yellow to now red. As Luke sighed, some words came out of Sawk's mouth shocking everyjuan.
"SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWK. SAAAAAAW, SAAAAAAW, Aaaaaaaw, la, l, LAAAAAAA, LAAAAA, LAAAAAVVVVV, L-LLAAAAAAAVe, L, L, LOOOOOOOVE ME MASTERRRRRR" he screamed.
"Aw, he just wanted some love" Stickboy said.
"No" Luke said.
"Come on it mighty give him strength" Stickboy said.
Luke walked into the field. Mienshao let go of Sawk. Sawk looked up at his master and Lukeguy looked deep into his eyes. He helped him up and they hugged. Then Mienshao picked Sawk up and broke his back, throwing him off stage. She then whipped Luke in the eye, making him fall down.
"JP! JOE! YOU ADVANCE TO ROUND 2!" Admin announced.
Jp and Joe cheered and hugged each other.
The four walked up the stairs and stood near their teammates.
"Good effort, eh bro?" Stickboy asked, offering Lukeguy a fist bump, to which he didn't return.
"If we lose I'm voting you off for throwing that match" Luke said.
"Touchy" Stickboy said, looking at the other direction.
"Is it my turn yet? I want to KICK SOME FUCKING ASS" Sam screamed.
"Dick" Carz said.
The screens stopped on the next competitor icons.
Blooberri and Mike
Vs.
Mr. Moogle and Pseudonym
"Finally" Pseudonym said, taking his back off the wall and walking towards the stage.
"Great. We got this" Mr. Moogle said confidently.
"Mike, huh? Cool" Blooberri said.
"Krogre" Mike said.
The four walked down and stood by their respective teammate. Blooberri and Mike stood on the left side of the arena, and Mr. Moogle and Pseudonym on the right.
[Mr. Moogle in le confession toilet]
"Pseudo's pretty snazzy guy, but I'm not sure about his Pokémon skills. Guess I'll find out now"
[le end]
[Blooberri in le confession toilet]
"I don't battle others much, and I'm not into competitive Pokémon. And Mike just started playing Pokémon for the first time in like two years, so, yeah I'm gonna get creamed"
[le end]
"Goooooo, Oddish" Bloiberri said, and the tiny Pokémon emerged from the ball.
"Oddish!" It said.
Mr. Moogle and Pseudonym tossed their balls out next, and a Goodra and Swampert emerged.
Mike threw his Pokémon into the battle, and a giant Kyogre took up the entire arena, squashing the other Pokémon. Oddish was dead, and Swampert and Goodra squeezed out from underneath, standing at the edge of the arena. Moogle and Pseudonym jumped back a bit to make room for their Pokémon.
"Wonder how this fight will turn out..." Pantz said.
"Eh, who cares. Moogle and Pseudonym are both irrelevant as hell, all they know how to do is make a battle boring" Cloud said.
"You got his Mike" Alice cheered.
"Hey bitch I can cheer harder" Nicholas said.
"Go Mike!" Nicholas shouted.
"Is my Pokémon alive?" Blooberri asked, looking over at her Oddish with concern.
"Krogre use surf" Mike commanded.
A huge wave emitted form Kyogre as it roared. The crashing eaters flew towards Seampert and Goodra, who tried turning away.
"Ok I didn't know legendaries were legal this is kinda bull" Moogle said as his Goodra was whacked off the head with...water!
"What a drag" Pseudonym sighed.
Oddish was carried off the stage by water, where it died.
"Oh shit sorry Bloo!" Mike said.
"It's alright, I think I know just the Pokémon to help..." Bloo said, reaching for her Pokeball.
"I wonder who it is..." J thought.
Gingerale smirked from behind him.
"Let's just say this is going to be a massacre" Gingerale said.
Bloo's Pokéball was tossed into he stage floor, where a bright light emitted from it as it opened, and the huge Pokémon stood tall and made a mighty roar that shook the entire stadium. It was Groudon.
"Jesus Christ" Moogle said.
The sides of the stage started to extend a bit to accommodate for the size of the Pokémon.
"Swampert dive" Pseudonym commanded, and the Pokémon immediately dug himself under the water.
"Goodra, thunderbolt!" Moogle shouted, and Goodra yelled as a thunder cloud formed above Kyogre, raining thunder on him and hardly making him flinch.
"Groudon, earth power" Blooberribfommanded.
A trail of rocks linking Groudon and Goodra formed in the ground. The rocks raised above the ground along the trail until it got to Goodra, rising right under it and knocking it back. Swampert leaped out from under the water and kicked at the rocks, chipping it off and causing it to fly to the other side of the arena. It tipped off Kyogre's head.
"Swampert, dive again" Pseudonym said, and Swampert quickly found his way back underwater.
Kyogre turned its body trying to get Swampert, but in the process accidentally knocked Groudon back. Angered, Groudon punched Kyogre.
"Krogre?! No!" Mike said.
"Use surf" Mike said.
"Wait Mike I don't think-"
Kyogre used surf, covering the entire arena with even more water. Groudon fell on his back in the water. Some steam came out of his ears as he collected himself off the ground. He rushed at Kyogre, grabbing him with both hands and pushing him back. The two fell on Goodra, who proceeded screamed like a bitch. Below the water Swampert was watching the battle unfold.
"Krogre! Krogre! Bad Krogre!" Mike scolded, whacking his Kyogre with his dick.
"If we can get them to work together we can do tremendous damage" Bloo said.
"Hold on this is a good opportunity to make a two second video where nothing happens and the camera moves quickly" Mike said, recording the floor with his phone.
"Ok Goodra, get back. Go, Ferrothorn" Moogle said.
"Ah, my eyes. It's so ugly!" Riley shouted.
"He didn't even throw the ball yet" Alice said.
"Oh. Sorry..." Riley replied.
Moogle threw the ball and the Ferrothorn was unleashed, whipping its vines.
"I drew a Ferrosees for a goodbye Flipnote once. It was pretty snazzy" Lemon said.
"Ok so Grass and Steel...if Groudon used a fire type move he's practically a goner" Blooberri thought to herself.
Groudon picked Kyogre up and tried carrying him offstage, but Kyogre spit tubs of water in his face, the force of the water pulling Kyogre out of Groudon's grasp and back on the stage.
"Groudon, Lava Plume!" Blooberri commanded, and Groudon roared as hordes of fire surrounded him and moved towards Ferrothorn.
Swampert jumped out of the water and spit out a turret of water at the firewall, extinguishing some of it. Some ashes still struck Ferrothorn, doing a fair amount of damage, but Swampert was barely damaged by the amount he was given.
"Fuck that Swampert. Kyogre kill it" Mike said.
Kyogre swam over towards Swampert, who slipped underneath the water once again.
"Holy shit stop doing that! Spammer!" Mike complained.
Rydli pushed his glasses up.
"It seems the more Kyogre attacks, the more water is thrown into the battlefield. This gives an advantage to Swampert, who isn't as large as Kyogre, and can move with more agility in the water" Rydli explained.
Kyogre looked around effortlessly for Swampert, who swam underneath him. As Groudon prepared for its next attack, Swampert leapt up in front of it, sucker punching it in the face. Not the move sucker punch that was just an expression. As Groudon was caught off guard, he fell backwards a bit. Swampert used hydro pump on the Pokémon and knocked him completely off the stage. He crashed onto the floor, trying to pull himself back up with fatigue.
Kyogre kept looking under the water for Swampert, feeling a tap on him, he looked up to see Ferrothorn, who had just saved up the energy for its solar beam. A large beam of light from the sky appeared in front of Ferrothorn, vaporizing Kyogre and doing enough damage to knock it out.
Groudon got back into the stage, roaring. Swampert kicked at its legs, causing him to crash on the ground.
"KROGRE!?" Mike screamed.
"Nicely done" Pseudonym complimented to Seampert, scratching the back of his ear.
"Nani!?" Alice shouted.
"Ok, one Pokémon left. But you have two. Let's do this" Bloo said.
"Ok Blooberri!" Mike replied.
Mike and Bloo both tossed their Pokéball out. They both landed and two Pokémon came out, Altaria from Bloo's ball...hehe...and Swalot from Mike's.
"How many dragons are we gonna have today, amiright?" Lemon asked.
"At least 10 more" Gingerale replied.
"Get back Swampert, go Flareon" Pseudonm called out. His Swampert stood behind him as Flareon was summoned form a Pokéball.
"Oh boy Pseudonym caught the worst Pokémon let's see how this goes" Element taunted form the stands.
"Let's hear you say that when you're down here getting your ass kicked. Flareon, flame wheel!" Pseudonym ordered.
Flareon leaped forward, summoning a wheel of fire circling in a rapid speed in front of him.
Blooberri looked at the fire, then at Ferrothorn.
"Altaria, reflect!" Bloo ordered.
A pink glass wall popped Ito existence in front of her as the ring of fire caught it. It ricocheted off and back towards Ferrothorn. Ferrothorn closed its eyes in fear by nothing struck him. He opened his eyes to see Flareon standing in front of him with a smug expression, fire absorbing into its fur, increasing its power.
"I anticipated you'd do that, guess you didn't account for a misfire." Pseudonym said nonchalantly.
The crowd was silent, waiting for the next user's move.
"Swalot, eat it!" Mike ordered, swinging his finger at the Flareon.
Swalot slugged towards Flaeron, opening its mouth wide so it's has reached the floor. Flareon jumped on top of its head and then forward off. Swalot turned its eyes around to see him but before he could process his miss he ran strider into Ferrothron. Swalot closed its mouth on the Pokémon and shuttered. Inside, Ferrothorn released pins all around the inside of Swalot's mouth. Swalot tried to swallow, but Ferrothron used two vines to crack open his mouth and walk out.
"Haha well Swalot can take that, he's immune to being poisoned" Mike said.
"Yeah well attacking Ferrothron does damage alone, let alone the extra damage given with the iron helmet I equipped. And hey, just for safe measure, I made sure not to forget to place spikes" Mr. Moogle said.
Mike looked up at the screen and watched Swalot's health drop to the yellow bar.
"Altaria, dragon dance" Bloo shouted, and Altaria spun around and did a majestic step, boosting her attack and speed.
"Flareon, double team let's go" Pseudonym ordered.
Flareon concentrated and shifted about, forming several clones. Swalot looked around confused.
"Swalot, go after them" Mike ordered.
Swalot chomped at the copies, making them fade away one by one, trying to find the real clone.
"Ferrothorn, solar beam" Mr. Moogle said, and Ferrothron concentrated energy, the solar power building up within.
"Altaria fire blast now!" Bloo said.
"Altaria" Altaria shouted, shooting out a line of fire towards Ferrothron.
Flareon noticed and jumped for it, which is just what she was hoping for. This made the Flareon stand out from the clones, so Swalot jumped at it and captured the Pokémon its mouth. The blast of fire struck Ferrothron, igniting it. Ferrothron immediately collapsed on the ground, his health bar dramatically flew down.
"Use self destruct as a last resort" Pseudonym advised.
"Dude I just charged for a solar beam. It's To Late." Mr. Moogle said.
A fire caught on one of Ferrothron's vines, a burn. The burn did a little damage, finishing him off.
Mike and Blooberri exchanged a high five.
"Psudo has three Pokémon left, but Swampert and Flareon were in battle for a bit so they shouldn't take too long to finish off. Moogle has one fresh Pokémon left, as do you. And then we both have one Pokémon, Swalot I don't see lasting long but Altaria could do well if treated right" Blooberri thought.
"ONIONS SHREAK" Mike agreed.
Moogle threw out his last Pokéball, and a large, light orange Pokémon emerged. Dragonite the conquerer.
"Poo" Bloo said.
Dragonite picked the Flareon up and started twirling it. The Flareon started crying as it was spun around so fast like a fan on high speed, did you like my simile I thought it was good. The Dragonite took a step back then flung the Flareon across the stage where it landed on Altaria's cloud. Flareon and Altsria looked into each other's eyes.
"Altaria" Altaria said.
"Altar-Flareon" Flareon said.
Altaria tightens Flareon in its cloud and aimed dragon breath at its head. The Flareon formed dizzy symbols in his eyes as he fell off the cloud and onto the ground, defeated. The Altaria looked up to see Swalot on the ground not too far ahead, Dragonite and Swampert over its body.
"A necessary sacrificed" Mr. Moogle deemed.
"Ok Mike, looks like it's all up to you. What's your final Pokémon?" Bloo asked.
"Meh final Pokémon...ish...o3o...me! [turns in2 a meowth]" Mike said, prancing onto the field.
"What, role playing is allowed?" Jp asked.
"Well we assumed everyone here moved past ironic role playing, I wasn't expecting that to make a comeback" Admin admitted.
Mike ran across the floor.
"Dude, I can't hurt Mike" Mr. Moogle said.
"Dragonite, on guard" Moogle commanded.
Mike punched Dragonite in the mouth, yanking on it's tongue and pushing it to the ground. Mike took out a spaghetti taco and slammed it on his head.
"Ok never mind best the shit out of Mike use fly" Mr. Moogle said.
Dragonite grabbed Mike and soared into the sky, flapping its wings gently as it ascended to the ceiling. The entire audience glanced up as Dragonite and Mike crashes through the rooftop, good ever higher. Dragonite then looped around, diving straight for the ring, hugging Mike close. Mike punched Dragonite in an effort to make him release, but he kept a firm grip. The two twirled as they neared the ground, going faster and faster. Swampert puffed its cheeks and shot or a gust of water. Dragonite let go of Mike the kike and aimed upwards, flying narrowly across the stage and landing next to his master. The water Swampert shot struck Mike, throwing him off the stage and knocking him out.
"We have our winners! Mr. Moogle and Pseudonym, you will advance to round 2!" Admin cheered.
The crowd busted into claps and cheers. Moogle and Pseudo walked up the stairs and back to their positions. Moogle waved to the crowd chanting their names.
"Come on, aren't you a little excited?" Moogle asked.
"Whatever, it was a nice match." Pseudonym shrugged unenthusiastically.
"Unbelievable...Mike is good at literally every game he picks up...and he was just defeated...by fucking Pseudo" Cloud said in astonishment, watching as nurse Kanga picked Mike up and placed him on a gurney and transporting him away, Bloo close at his side.
"That Dragonite...hope I get to fight it, a-ha!" J laughed.
"My Charizard would kick its ass" Gingerale said unimpressed.
"Good job guys" Marrowsky complimented.
Mr. Moogle nodded back to him.
Everyone watched the huge screen as the next fight was announced:
Reu and Sam
Vs.
DryBones and Eden
"ALRIGHT LET'S KICK SOME FUCKING ASSS!" Sam shouted loudly, pumping his chest.
"Yeah sure whatever" Reu said.
"Who the fuck are you? My partner? GET TO WORK SLUT" Sam said, throwing Reu over the balcony.
"DryBones? Eh..." Eden groaned quietly.
"What? What does that mean? What was that sound supposed to suggest? You think I'm some dumby or something? Geez who doesn't...I'll show you, I'll show all you...you'll all be grounded grounded grou-"
"Just, get to the stage" Eden said, pushing him down.
Sam was standing on the left side of the ring, Reu slowly getting up. Eden and DryBones were on the right.
"Go Eden and DryBones!" Jp, Kirby, and Joe cheered.
"DryBones is gonna frick it up somehow" Grenade said flatly.
DryBones looked up at Grenade and then back at his opponents with a frustrated expression. The four all held their first Pokéball out, ready to unleash. They all tossed simultaneously and the balls hit the ground, four Pokémon emerging. In front of Sam, Venusaur, in front of Reu, Reuniclus, in front of Eden Mismagius, and in front of DryBones Ursaring.
"Oh no..." Eden said.
[Eden in le confession toilet]
"Sam's Venusaur...known for being a pain in the ass. We're gonna have to get rid of him as soon as we can"
[le end]
Sam smirked.
"Let's do this" Sam shouted, ripping his mega ring into view. He pressed down on t and Venusaur glowed before expanding a bit and growing some extra trees. Mega Venusaur.
"Oh wow he grew like two extra plants on its head what a cool design" Pseudonym said.
Mr. Moogle pushed his glasses up.
"Actually, Mega Venusaur is the mega evolution of Venusaur. With health like that and an ability that halves the damage of fire and ice types, Eden and DryBones are in for some trouble..." he explained.
"Mega Venusaur use sleep powder" Sam commanded, and with the snap of a goner the Venusaur spit out some powdered dust from his bud, flowing over Mismagius' body and making her dreary, she fell to the ground as she drifted off to sleep.
"Uh, Ursaring. Crunch!" DryBones said.
Ursaring walked up to Mega Venusaur and took a bite out of his bud. His health went down about 1/16.
"Reuniclus, trick room" Reu demanded.
"Reuniclus" Reuniclus said, jumping up and down.
The audience watched as the arena was outlined in a grid fashion, the diagram rotated halfway.
Mr. Moogle pushed his glasses up.
"Trick Room makes be slowest go first, and the fastest go last" he explained.
"Dude my Venusaur was fast that's just setting me back" Sam complained, forming a fist to punch Rue with.
"Oh, sorry...I wasn't expecting doubles..." Reu defended.
"Whatever, my Venusaur's a pretty bulky bitch. He can take whatever those losers throws at us" Sam said, punching his hand.
Misgagius continued to snooze.
Ursaring ran up to Venusaur and Reuniclus, stepping on Venusaur's face and swiping relentlessly at its head. It stabbed its claws into its skull, but Venusaur effortlessly grabbed him with his vines and tossed him to the ground. Reuniclus grabbed the temple of his head with both hands and sent concentrated psychic energy at the Ursaring, striking him and pushing him back a bit. Mismagius woke up.
"Wait, Reuniclus is weak to Dark and Ghost. It would be super effective...but he might see that coming and use protect..." Eden thought.
"Ursaring go fight it again" DryBones commanded.
"Wait, equip this" Eden said, tossing a toxic orb into Ursaring's hands.
The Ursaring ran towards the Mega Venusaur with the orb in his hands, holding a puzzled look. He pumped right into the Venusaur, dropping his orb. Ursaring used facade on him, swiping at him as fast as he could, but Mega Venusaur used sleep power on him and put him to sleep.
"THUNDER WAVE" Eden screamed.
Mismagius shot out a beam of electricity, striking Mega Venusaur directly and making him vibrate. He stood perfectly still and wouldn't move, now paralyzed.
"Finish him off with shadow ball" Reu said, and Reuniclus formed a ball of shadow in front of him, rolling around and increasing in size until it was large enough, then tossing it at the Ursaring and knocking him out.
"Oh no, the wheel of fortune chose to make me lose that once..." DryBones sighed.
"How does, why do...what?" Eden asked.
DryBones threw his next ball out, releasing Pangoro.
Eden facepalmed.
Reuniclus used psychic again, the beam of energy was directed at Pangoro, but Mismagius pushed him out of the way, letting it hit her instead.
Pangoro punched his hand with his other in a similar fashion to Sam and bit down on his lead. He ran up to Mega Venusaur, holding a fist back as ice former from his palm. He brought his fist out and punched Mega Venusaur square in the mouth. Everyone watched the health slowly go down, now in the yellow.
Mega Venusaur's bud twitched a bit as it sagged. It puffed up and sprang out s large ball of goo, that directly hit Misgagius. Mismagius fell to the ground fainted.
"No..." Eden said.
"No!" DryBones screamed.
Eden sighed as she swiped another Pokéball from her belt, pressing the button to enlarge it.
"Hey, Reu. I figure we're kicking enough ass out here, how about we have some fun and make sure they don't miss out on the rest of the party?" Sam asked.
"Your Mega Venusaur is doing fine enough, let's just stick to that" Reu suggested.
"Who cares we're gonna win anyways but they won't get to see my other Pokémon" Sam said.
"Sam they can literally just put together what other two Pokémon you have just judging by your past profile icons and from what you answer on "who's your favorite Pokémon" questions. They already know what the rest of your team is, showing off isn't they important. Let's stick to the sweep" Reu said.
"Venusaur, get back bro. Ambipom, let's dance..." Sam said, returning Mega Venusaur and tossing his next Pokéball out.
Ambipom emerged and bounced off each foot before throwing his hand tails below him to keep him up.
Eden summoned Mawile, who stood nervously by Pangoro, who gave her a nod.
Eden pulled out her mega ring and slammed down on it. The air started to go wild as Mawile felt a transformation over Coke her, her lower fur turned maroon, and her giant jaw transformed into a slightly bigger version with some spikes pointing outwards.
Alice pushed her glasses up.
"Mega Mawile is a steel slash fairy type, giving it an advantage over Reuniclus" she explained.
Lemon pushed his glasses up.
"Actually, assuming it has a dark move, right? Because he's not weak to those types" Lemon said.
"Oh, right. Haha. Yeah just joking, the inaccurate information was just a joke" Alice brushed off.
"What. It sounds like you just made a concrete mistake but instead of admitting it you're passing it off as a joke" Lemon said.
"Ok first of all it's not a "concrete" mistake Lemon don't use a stupid word like that to describe it, and second of all it WAS a joke. It was satire on people commonly mistaking Pokémon types when they think they know everything" Alice explained.
"I don't get it...I mean you can-"
"Lemon shut up I'm trying to watch a battle, ok. Like, ok? Ok? Ok, like, ok." Alice said.
Reuniclus shot out another psychic blast, striking Pangoro, as Mawile used foul play and leaped at Reuniclus, preparing to tear his ass to shit.
Mawile swiped at Reuniclus, scratching his jelly skin and knocking him back. He fell to the ground as his health fell to red. Reu ran up to him.
"No, no. Eden you monster! It's ok, we can still win this" Reu said, hugging his Pokémon. But it was too late, for Reu's Reuniclus was actually...an emosis, and cut himself to death.
Pangoro tumbled on the ground. He picked himself up as his health fell to red.
Ambipom speedily ran across the field, his tail extending over his head. As he got to Pangoro he slapped the Pokémon with both hands, knocking him on the ground and knocking him out.
Mawile grabbed Ambipom with her jaw and but down hard on him as he struggled to break free, pushing force onto it with his tails. She headbutted him and knocked him to the ground. He shook his head and Rose back up, regaining his sunny disposition.
Reu and DryBones both threw balls out at the same time.
On Reu's end was a Gengar, on DryBones' a Beartic.
"Wow, looks like DryBones' entire team consists of the We Bare Bears cast, amirite?" Isaac joked, to no one's laugh.
After a few seconds Cloud chuckled, and the others gave him a confused look.
"What, you've never heard a joke so bad that it's funny because no one is laughing at it?" Cloud asked.
"Yeah, haha. That was my plan. Awkward jokes are my forte, it was intentional" Isaac explained.
"Alright guys how much longer is this "that was the joke" gag going on, this is stemming out longer than a Fairly Odd Parents episode gag. What's next, someone's going to show up and wish everything back to normal?" Mr. Moogle asked.
[Mr. Moogle in le confession toilet]
"Yeah, pretty nice joke back there. Bet everyone's going to be quoting that one on the Reddit discussion page for Haiku Drama after this episode airs"
Moogle checks his fingernails.
[le end]
Gengar snickered snoopily as he held his hands to his mouth. He glanced over at Ambipom, who smiled at him.
Mega Mawile ran towards them, but Ambipom pressed his tail against the ground and catapulted himself over Mawile, raising his second tail over him to prepare to strike Beartic. Beartic brought his head back and blew out a powerful blast of air, knocking Ambipom back and to the ground. Ice shards flew by Mega Mawile and struck Gengar, making his health slightly diminish. Reu ripped his sleeve off in an effort to look badass and slammed his hand onto his mega ring. Gengar laughed as he transformed from his feet to his head, mega evolving into Mega Gengar. His arms were rooted to the ground but he retained his malicious grin. Ambipom slapped Beartic with a twirl, just as Mega Gengar grabbed onto Mega Mawile and held her down. Mega Gengar lowered his head to Mawile, but she responded by smashing her head to his, causing him to lose his grip. As Ambipom grabbed onto Beartic by both sides, Beartic sneezed, and some icicles fell from the ceiling and crushed Ambipom's head, Ambipom wobbled around dizzily before collapsing unconsciously.
"Wow DryBones you should not talk during the battle more it seems to be helping" Eden said.
"What?!" DryBones asked.
Sam's jaw dropped.
"What the FUCK! DryBones? Fucking DryBones defeated MY Ambipom!?" Sam shouted.
"Well this battle could have been over by now if we stayed with the sweep" Reu shrugged.
Sam punched Reu in the face, knocking him on the ground.
"I still have one Pokémon left that will kick their fucking asses" Sam deemed, whirling his ball onto the field.
"Rotom!" Rotom cheered.
"You know I wish they'd describe the Pokémon that come out instead of assuming we know what they all look like." Luke said.
"No." Gingerale replied.
"Oh shit!" Eden said.
"Rotom, oven form" Sam commanded.
Rotom shot himself at a nearby oven because all Pokémon arenas have those laying around, taking on its form and returning to the arena.
"Ok we need to get rid of Rotom first, if your Beartic can tough it out we could have a shot at taking down Venusaur. But we have no idea what other Pokémon Reu has, so be prepared..." Eden said in a huddle with DryBones.
"What was that? I was watching Wheel of Fortune on my phone. This guy didn't know the answer was "Minecraft", freakin' idiot" DryBones said.
"Just don't do anything stupid" Eden sighed.
"Aqua jet!" DryBones yelled.
"Sucker punch!" Eden yelled.
"Overheat!" Sam yelled.
"Will-O-Wisp!" Reu yelled.
Beartic formed a veil of water around him as he zoomed across he ground, striking Rotom headfirst. Mega Mawile punched Gengar. Rotom heated up and a blazing fire shot out from his body. It shot at Mawile and harshly decreased her health. Mega Mawile fell to her knees, but used all her strength to get back up and continue fighting. Mega Gengar spat out a burst of fire, hitting Beartic and spreading across his fur, leaving a burn.
Mega Mawile limped over to deliver another attack at Mega Gengar, but he spit a Will-O-Wisp at her. With her last move, she threw her jaw out to snap at the Gengar. Beartic threw some icicles at the Gengar to finish him off, but that made him open for Rotom too attack, who used overheat and blasted Beartic with a large wall of fire. Beartic and Mega Mawile both fell to the ground and collapsed next to each other.
"Darn we lost. Alright let's go back" DryBones said, walking away.
"I still have one Pokémon left" Eden said.
"Oh" DryBones sighed.
"We can do this..." Eden said, tossing the ball.
The ball opened and the wishing Pokémon Jirachi flew up.
"Whoa! Nice catch Ebin!" Ziggy shouted down.
"Oh yeah, welol oaoJiUu }^}^|*£&" Reu yelled, and Mega Gengar sunk into the ground and floated over to Jirachi.
Jirachi smashed its head into Gengar's, immediately knocking him out.
"What the..." Reu said.
"Ugh, come on Reu. I gotta carry this team all on my own now" Sam sighed.
"I still have one Pokémon left...I doubt she can take down three of our Pokémon with a dinky little Jirachi" Reu said, tossing his next Pokéball out.
A Missingno popper out.
"Hey cool. How'd you manage to manage you How'd. cool Hey." Sam said, exploding.
"Oh my osiososooaoOo 821919364729-0-92637291717" Cloud said as his head exploded.
"Haahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha vro Idont even KNOW EHAT you just saidNbl Joe inflated and flew into the sun.
"ERROR WRROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERORRIROROROORORR"
The entire second level collapsed and everyone fell into the audience on the first floor.
"INLLL NUDGEGEGEHEGEHSKiziz" Element's fedora ate him and started growing. If roared as it chewed on Shinxy's head.
Alice's clothes fell off and she fell through the floor into meme hell.
Riley spat diarrhea out of his diarrhea and Lemon stuck his head in Riley's diaper eating it.
A jellyfish flew through the window and J started to have sex with it. Gingerale took a gun out and shit himself as Nicholas and Mike devoured each other.
18190192382922782922 Eoeorr Aerorr Eoeorr
DryBones' skin was ripped off so only his bones were showing. Marrowsky fell off the balcony and crushed DryBones as his sunglasses were taken off and beams of lasers shot out of his eyes.
Jp's eyes plopped out and Stickboy's head was switched with his balls. Isaac turned into a pineapple and Pseudonym started walking in slow motion.
Mr. Moogle and Grenade remained normal.
"Hey what's going to happen to us?" Moogle asked.
"They'll probably skip the least important haikuers to get back to the plot" Grenade said.
"What to heck? I thought we went over this, I'm not-"
Pac-Man crashes through the roof and chomped through Moogle and Grenade, continuing to chomp away and destroy everything.
Pantz' head fell off and Ziggy started using tumblr instead of 4chan. Carz was acting as Carz normally would.
A gang of math homework was attacking Rydli, throwing decimals at him.
StarForce turned into a jellyfish and J started having sex with him.
Lukeguy's greatest fear emerged: his family showed up. They lined up to give him spankings. An army of ting R.O.B. toys jumped on Robot and started beating her up.
Time froze and everyone died.
7382911763827272728292827292010191736392 ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR 27291010101001000101011002010102010101010100101001101010101011011101100000110101101010001010101010101010011010101
Reu walked up next to Eden in the midst of the destruction.
"Yeeeeeeeah maybe catching a Missingno wasn't the best idea" Reu said.
"I wish everything back to normal" Eden said.
And everything returned to just before Missingno was released.
"Now to destroy this" Reu said, throwing the Pokéball on the ground in an attempt to break it, but accidentally released it again.
ERROR ERROR ERROR
"Aw shit" Reu said.
"I wish everything back to normal" Eden said.
"That whole thing was so...out of nowhere..." Rydli said.
"Yah that was the joke it was so random haha" Cloud said.
"What? What does that even mean?" Rydli asked.
"You know that whole situation was so crazy and random, nobody saw it coming and it has no point of even being there. The entire thing was just one huge joke of an appearance haha" Cloud said.
"Maybe, but the way you say it is like you're convincing yourself it's funny by forcing the explanation that it was intentional " Rydli said.
"What" Cloud asked.
"It's like falling on your face and saying you meant to do that" Rydli said.
"No it isn't shut up" Cloud said.
"Ok Eden Since Reu's retarded looks like we're going mono and mono. BRING IT ON BITCH" Sam roared.
Eden and Jirachi exchanged a confident look.
Jirachi levitated over towards Rotom and slapped it with its hand. Rotom pinched the Jirachi and Jirahi fell down and cried and fainted.
"SAM AND REU WIN!" Admin said.
The crowd roared in excited cheering once more and confetti rained over Reu and Sam. Sam basked in his glory, showing off his guns and posing for the screen. Reu waved awkwardly.
"So. Wanna go out or something?" DryBones asked Eden.
Eden didn't respond and just walked away.
"Eden and DryBones 100 years" DryBones yelled at her.
The four walked back up to the second level.
"Nicely done, Sam. Reu go die" Stickboy complimented.
"How can the one with the worst performance insult somebody who won?" Reu asked him.
"You tried killing us!" Stickboy said.
"Death...I welcome thee..." Lukeguy said.
"Don't act so surprised. Winners never lose." Sam said.
[Sam in le confession toilet]
"They should just hand over the million right now, there's no way any of these people are going to be able to beat me head to head. I'm the FUCKING BEST!"
[le end]
Robot and Alice
Vs.
Carz and Ziggy
[Robot in le confession toilet]
"Alice, huh? She's the one that...uh...did...the...we...who is she?"
[le end]
[Alice in le confession toilet]
"In a battle against Ziggy? Nice? I mean nice! That was a reference to the nice! you can give to people in X and Y. Yeah. So Robot. Possibly viable, but she's gonna cry if we lose so I weed to not screw this up. And Carz is on the other team so how hard can it that be?"
[le end]
[Carz in le confession toilet]
"Fuck Ret"
[le end]
[Ziggy in le confession toilet]
"There are normies who are like normal joes who jack off to beheadings and shit"
[le end]
Alice and Robot stood on the left side, Carz and Ziggy on the right.
They all tossed their Pokéballs simultaneously, a Porygon-Z releasing from Robot's ball, a Sylveon from Alice's, Sylveon from Ziggy's, and Tyrantrum from Carz. Everyone watched in amazement as Ziggy's Sylveon had red eyes and blue fur, it was a shiny. It winked at the crowd.
"Guess we'll see who's truly the real iced out Sylveon..." Ziggy said.
"Yiff" Carz said.
"You for this?" Alice asked.
"Yeah, I'll try not to cry about it" Robot responded.
"Oh.." Alice replied.
They all shot their hands out commanding their Pokémon to attack.
Alice's Sylveon closed its eye as the moon shined above in the moonlight. It shine on Tyrantrum and caused massive damage, he fell back and screamed.
"Yes that's it! Hot!" Carz said, walking over and jumping the fainted Pokémon.
J pushed his glasses up.
"A-ha! That damage was super effective because dragon is weak to fairy!" he explained.
Ziggy's Sylveon leapt over the Tyrantrum and flicked its bows. It attempted to send out an psylocke, but Porygon-Z tossed out a ball of string electricity, knocking into his Sylveon and toppling it to the ground.
"SHREKT" Carz said, throwing out his second Pokémon. A Raichu smiled to everyone.
Raichu ran over to attack Alice's Sylveon, but it touched Raichu's skin with its bows and felt around.
"My bones are made out of flesh" it whispered to him.
Ziggy's Sylveon pushed Raichu out of the way and tackled Alice's Sylveon. The two tussled on the ground, snapping at each other with their straps and throwing bites out at each other. Raichu picked himself up from the ground to see Porygon-Z standing in front of him, charging up for an attack and shaking. Raichu whacked it with its tail, rotating it around and making it blast in the wrong direction. Alice and Robot sucked so the electric beam shot over their heads. Raichu noticed a slot at Porygon-Z's rare and sent out a bolt of electricity at it, making Porygob-Z short circuit, turn off, and fall to the ground like a rock.
"What the...Porygon?" Robot asked.
"Well if you artificially make a Pokémon you gotta expect some drawbacks" Moogle said.
"Carz isn't even giving his Pokémon any orders he's over there masturbating" Alice complained.
"It's fine. Carz won't be a problem" Robot insisted, growing out her next Pokéball, releasing a Golurk.
Golurk towered over the other Pokémon of the field, each step he took shook the floor.
The Sylveon's were eyeing each other down. Alice's tired tackled Ziggy's but Ziggy's stepped back, tossing out his straps to latch onto Alice's Sylveon's paws and tug her forward. She bit down on the bows latched onto her and then whipped her own at him. This is more confusing than I intended.
Golurk used earthquake and shook the ground even more intensely. The two Sylveon's were knocked away from each other by the impact and Raichu was badly affected, crawling on the ground as his health depleted to red.
"Aim for the horn" Carz memed.
"Raichu.." Raichu said, struggling to stand up.
Raichu stood on both feet, covered in bruises.
"Geez electric Pokémon can't take earthquakes for shit" Alice said.
Raichu closed his eyes and charged up power.
"RAAAAAAAI-CHUUUUU" Raichu screamed, shooting out a bolt of electricity directly say Golurk.
"Pfft, dumb. You don't even know basic immunities?" Robot asked.
To everyone's shock, the electricity bruised Golurk horribly, shutting down all of his energy and damaging his health bar tremendously. Golurk fell forward and crashes on Raichu, both of them fainting. Everybody's jaw dropped.
"What" Alice said.
"That's not even possible" Reu said.
"Well it happened in the anime once so" J shrugged.
"Hmm well, it doesn't make sense game wise but it occurred in the anime so I can't dispute it" Isaac said.
[Robot in le confession toilet]
Robot bangs her head off the wall.
"I'm losing to CARZ"
[le end]
"Ok this Sylveon fight is going nowhere I'll try to help you out Robit. Sylveon, return!" Alice said, letting Sylveon stand behind her awaiting to be called back.
"Screw that you just want my Sylveon to faint first to make yours look better, Sylveon return" Ziggy said, letting his Sylveon stand behind him as well.
Alice sighed. Robot had a look of disdain upon her face. Alice put a hand on her shoulder.
"Look, Robot. I know we don't talk much, but I hear about you a lot. Don't put yourself down, if your Pokémon skills are anywhere near your Smash skills, we can dominate this game. And, Well, nobody likes a negative nancy. Let's fight with confidence" Alice said, putting her hand out.
Robot looked at it unsurely.
"Uh, alright.." Robot said, shaking her hand.
They both nodded and threw their Pokéballs onto the field.
Ziggy looked at Carz.
"Look, Carz" Ziggy began.
Carz was having sex with his Raichu.
"AAAAAAAAA FANG'S FANFICTION IS A GIFT FROM THE GODS" Carz screamed, jumping on Ziggy and biting his ear.
Ziggy and Carz both threw their Pokéballs onto the field.
Robot had a Bisharp, Alice an Azumarill, Carz a Loudred, and Ziggy a Gardevore.
"Yehehee, watch this, Ziggy said, slamming on his mega ring" Ziggy said, slamming on his mega ring. But nothing happened. Puzzled, Ziggy slammed on it again. It failed and he did it several mover times to no avail.
"Wtf?" Ziggy asked.
"Is your Gardevoir holding its stone?" Robot asked.
"No...I thought everyone got one of those for free" Ziggy said.
"No everyone else actually searched found and earned theirs they just don't pop out of thin air. Good job" Robot said.
"Duck" Ziggy said.
Bisharp ran up to Gardevoir and swiped at her relentlessly, she kept moving left and eighth to dodge his jabs.
"WAVEDASH IT ZIGGY! WAVEDASH!" Cloud screamed.
Bisharp tore at Gardevoir's dress, tearing s large hole down the front. He peeked down and blushed, giving Gardevoir a chance to kick him back.
Nearby, Azumarill ran up to Loudred and shot a wave of water at him, but Loudred screamed and a large sound wave emitted from his ears, knocking the water into Asumarill's face, causing her to fall on her back. Loudred walked over and aimed his ears at Azumarill, preparing to attack, but Bisharp bonked him off the head. Azumarill rolled away and quickly got to her feet. She used dazzling gleam and shot shards at Gardevoir and Loudred. While Gardevoir was shaking her head from the attack, Bisharp leapt at her and stabbed her, pushing her back and off the stage. Loudred walked over and shouted loudly, making Azumarill plug her ears in distress, but it didn't faze Bisharp.
"Ok fellas prepare for this" Ziggy said, tossing in his next Pokémon: a Gallada.
"Really? One of those trainers who use multiple of the same evolution line?" Alice asked.
"They both look cool ok" Ziggy defended.
Bisharp went to slice Loudred, but Gallade threw out his arm in defense. Gallade and Bisharp locked eyes and engaged in combat, throwing out punched one after another and deflecting each one.
Loudred grabbed Azumarill and screamed into its ears, making it cry. Azumarill shot FUCKING BUBBLES in Loudred's eye, making him lose his grip.
"Is he just going to scream a lot?" Alice asked.
"I don't know what else to expect nobody ever uses Loudred" Robot said.
Gallade and Bisharp's health was slightly falling at a steady rate as they continued to clash at each other.
Loudred bit Azumarill and ripped tugged its tail until it fainted, forcing Alice to throw out her third Pokémon, Slurpuff. Slurpuff licked its lips as Loudred screamed and pumped its chest.
"Seriously this Loudred's moveset is as diverse as...uh, whatever" Alice said.
"Wait, what was the punchline? Aren't you going to finish the joke ?" Robot asked.
"I couldn't think of anything let's just say the halfass attempt at making a joke was the joke itself" Alice said.
"Oh, alright. Wait, are you sure you're not just using a '"that's the joke" as a coverup?" Robot asked.
"No just shut up and continue not to give your Pokémon commands" Alice said.
Bisharp and Gallade continued fighting, Bisharp knocked Gallade to the ground, where he kicked Bisharp and swiped at his legs. Bisharp aimed for Gallade's head but Gallade blocked it with his hands, pushing Bisharp back and jumping to his feet. Gallade swiped at Bisharp but Bisharp caught Gallade's arm and tugged him closer, where he threw a punch at the face, but Gallade ducked.
Loudred went to slam into Slurpuff, but instead he slammed into a small plushie. He picked it up and squeezed it. Above, Slurpuff slammed down on him, using drain punch and leaching health off of him. Loudred fell back, it was super effective. Loudred fell on the floor unconsciously. Slurpuff jumped up and down cheerfully. She saw a little blood on her paw and licked it. Her eyes went red as she enjoyed the taste, and bit into her paw so blood seeped out. She brought the paw to her mouth and chomped on it, sucking all the blood out. She fell down and started eating herself.
Gallade Gallade Gallade Bisharp Bisharp Gallade Bisharp Gallade Bisharp Bisharp Bisharp Gallade Bisharp Gallade Bisharp they both threw their arms out, forming an X shape. They both grunted at each other and pushed with all their might, trying to overcome the other. Gallade let go for a second and Bisharp shot forward, but Gallade wavedashed and avoided the attack. Bisharp fell to the ground and Gallade brought his arm down, stabbing him and finishing him off. Before Gallade could bask in his glory, Sylveon tackled him and knocked him out, standing in his place.
"Gasp. Sylveon Vs. Sylveon frisky!?" Ziggy asked.
