Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer created all that is Twilight.

AN: Okay, so I'm having heaps of fun writing this story, and am getting completely wrapped up in its world.

I find myself rushing home from school to write some more everyday. :)

I hope you like this chapter.


Chapter Nine- The Same Deep Water As You


Brady

The rest of the drive to Seattle went quite smoothly, and I could tell it was obvious to both of us that whatever had happened had brought us closer.

We were now about 10 minutes away from our destination, having just killed an hour having an early dinner at some family type restaurant.

When we finally pulled up outside the club where the concert was being held, something didn't seem right. There weren't very many people around, and, despite the fact that it was now bucketing down with rain, there were two official type guys standing on either side of the entrance, each holding big umbrellas and talking to the few people who were making to enter the bar.

"Hey, do you wanna grab me that e-ticket thing, outta the glove compartment." I ushered,

Nola grabbed it out, handing it over.

"It is meant to be here, right?" she said, obviously having the same concerns as I was.

The paper definitely said we were in the right place, it just did not seem like there was any kind of event here tonight.

I pulled the car into a loading zone just outside.

"I'm gonna go and see what's up, you stay here, kay?" I said.

"Sure," she said with a smile.

I ran quickly through the rain, over to the nearest of the umbrella guys.

"Hey, I'm here for the concert, is that on here tonight?" I asked.

The guy shook his head knowingly, as though he knew exactly what I was going to say.

"The ticket company sent emails to everyone who booked- I guess you didn't hear.

The band couldn't leave London until this morning- they were supposed to arrive here last night, but their flight was delayed because of weather- no concert tonight, sorry. If you go to band's tour website you can find the link to claim a refund for your ticket."

He said the last part robotically, as though it was memorized, and most likely was considering he'd probably said it a hundred times tonight.

It was weird; I liked the band and everything, but didn't feel all that disappointed. I guess the concert just really wasn't what had me excited about this trip.

I didn't want to tell Nola the news though; she'd been so excited about it. I got back into the car, and told her what the guy had said.

"Oh." She said, frowning.

"Oh my god, I'm such an idiot- I just should have checked my email, Brady, I'm so sorry."

"Hey, don't worry about it- it's okay, honestly. We just need to make sure you get your money refunded, that's all that matters. But anyway, I'm thinking we should at least do something how 'bout we go see a movie or something?" I said, trying to assure her that I really wasn't all that disappointed without her taking it the wrong way.

"Are you sure, I mean, we couldn't go to the concert…"

"Nola, I mean, the concert would have been awesome, it was such a great gift, but, honestly, I can confidently say, that no matter how cool the concert was, it would not have been the highlight of my trip."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, that, well, maybe I wasn't so excited about going to the concert. Maybe…..I was excited…about spending time with you."

An adorable warm pink blush spread across her cheeks and she gave an involuntary smile.

"um, okay." She said, "so a movie then?"

"Sounds great." I replied.

Nola

When I found out the concert had been cancelled, truthfully I wasn't all that disappointed. I knew Brady had been looking forward to it though, so I felt like a total idiot, and incredibly annoyed that he had to be let down.

But what he said to me made me feel amazing.

Even if he didn't feel about me how I felt about him, it was still incredible to hear that he'd been excited about the trip for, you know, the company, rather than the destination. So I guess we were on the same page in that department at least.

Brady quickly found a large movie theatre, where we parked, and went inside to see what was playing.

There didn't appear to be a lot of option, and neither of us really seemed to care what we watched, so Brady ended up picking one- I think because he thought it would be the one I liked- that was starting in 10 minutes.

It was a romantic comedy, and a movie which, normally, had I been able to concentrate more on the plot I probably would have enjoyed.

But watching it like that, sitting, in the dark next to Brady was almost unbearable. Especially because we were sitting in front of a massive screen which was showing a great deal of sappy material, as well as some heavy make out scenes- almost as graphic as some of those being played out around us.

It appeared that being a Saturday night in movie theatre, meant that it was couple-central.

I could tell that Brady was finding it just as awkward as I was, as we both sat there, tensly, trying to keep our eyes on the screen, while not even really taking in what was going on in the story.

After about an hour of it, I didn't think I could bare it much longer.

I couldn't sit next to Brady, that close, feeling his warmth, without having to fight insanely hard to resist moving closer, all the time.

Suddenly, he stretched in his seat, and leaned his head close to my ear.

"You wanna go?" he whispered.

Perfect timing. Just when I thought I couldn't stand it any longer-

I just nodded, and got up out of my seat, following him out of the theater and into the deserted foyer outside.

It was pretty chilly, despite being still technically undercover, so I gave an involuntary shiver.

"Here," he said, stepping close to me and starting to do up the buttons on my coat, "don't get cold"

"Sorry, he started to say, working my buttons the whole way up, "I just sensed neither of us was particularly enjoying that,"

He was talking, justifying having left half way through the movie, but I couldn't pay attention to what he was saying.

We were standing unbelievably close, and his large, warm hands were just finishing the last button at the top of my chest.

He'd stopped talking by then, and put his hands on either sides of my arms, rubbing up and down a few times. Even underneath all my layers of fabric I could feel the heat of his hands, making me feel instantly warmer.

"Better?" He said with a smile.

I didn't say anything- I didn't think I could, standing there like that, his hands holding my arms; we were standing so close our coats were just touching.

I just smiled up at him, but as our eyes met, our smiles seemed to fade from our faces, and we were just standing there.

We were like that, just standing and looking into each others eyes for a long time. It was as if we could each sense all that had gone unsaid between us for so long.

I didn't know what to do, my breathing was getting embarrassingly heavy, and my heart was racing. I didn't feel like I could process a single intelligible thought.

He started to step forward, closer.

I blushed, and tried to put my head down, but, silently, Brady removed his hands from their hold on my arms and softly cradled my face in them, tilting it upwards again. The feel of his bare palms on my cheeks was indescribable. They were so hot, my skin reacted to his touch as though it was electric, and I didn't want it ever to end- this closeness, this contact. It was more than we'd ever had, and getting so close to what I'd been yearning for, for as long as I'd known him.

Oh god, I thought, as he leaned down, filling the distance between our heights, this was it.

As he brought his face down to mine I closed my eyes, feeling his warm breath on my face.

Suddenly, he seemed to take hold of himself again, and, without moving from his position just inches from me, he sighed heavily.

He leaned his forehead against mine,

"We can't." It was barely a whisper, but it held so much frustration, it was as if he was telling himself more than telling me.

Brady

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

This was getting way too hard to control.

I couldn't bare it.

I can't believe how close I got back there. I know that by anyone's standards it would have been wrong, and everything I'd been working at for like three months told me it was absolutely no go. But it had felt so damn right. And even now, knowing I'd stopped it in time didn't give me a scrap of satisfaction.

All I wanted was to hold her.
I wanted to grab her and show her how much I loved and wanted her. How much I wanted her to be mine forever.

I didn't really know how to handle the situation. I was too goddamn mad at myself to think straight.

"Uh, well, come on then," I said as I pulled away, grabbing her had and leading her off towards where we'd parked.

I didn't tlak to her at all until we were back inside the car, I'd felt like a total jackass, she must have been so confused, but I just couldn't figure out what the hell to say.

We got in the car and I didn't start it. I just sat.

I tried to clear my head, and think of how to put what I wanted to say. So we sat there in silence for a while.

"Okay," I said quietly, turning in my seat to face her where she sat in the passenger side.

She gave an almost inaudible sigh of relief at hearing me finally talk, and I felt instantly guilty.

Damnit, I was fucking her around, and it wasn't fair.

"Um, Nola I'm just gonna come out and say it. I'm shit with words, I'm shit with how you're supposed to say anything- but let's face it, what I gotta say couldn't possibly be what you're supposed to say, so I just need to get it out."

"Okay", she said, nodding her head to prompt me to continue.

"I think that, well, you've gotta know that I want to be with you, right?"

"I think by now it's pretty clear, and everything back there, well, I know I'm screwing with your head and it's not fair to you. I'm not being fair to you. But before anything else I think you're one of my best friends, Nola, and I don't want to lose you. So even though we both know that nothing can happen, please, can we try to go on as we have been?"

I felt like I was waiting for a million dollar answer, I life or death verdict. Let's face it, she had every right to tell me to fuck off for playing with her emotions like I was, but the last thing I wanted was to put us back to square one. Our friendship was all I could get, I know, but it was the best thing in my life, and the thought of having ruined it made me sick.

"Brady", she said, leaning in a little closer, "please, don't beat yourself up about this. This sucks, really. It's such a shitty situation. I mean why did I have to meet you as your godamn student? It seems like somebody's cruel joke to me." As she said it, I could see her beautiful blue eyes starting to tear up.

"But, I mean, I have to tell you that talking to you is the best part of my day. I really don't want that to stop just because of some little almost-whatever. If friends is all we can be, then friends is what we should be."

It was such a feeling of warm relief to hear her say those words.

I leaned over and enveloped her, just as I had done earlier today.

I breathed in the perfection of her sent, and that was that.

That was all. All that needed to be said.

We both knew, to some extent, anyway, how we felt about each other. We also both knew that there was nothing that could be done about it.

It couldn't be helped.

In the future, who knows what will happen, but for now we were just going to keep on going. And that was all that needed to be said.


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