You know the one thing I dislike most about children? They're too cute to kill.
I mean, it's not like I don't want to kill them…they are probably the most annoying thing I have ever encountered.
But…they are so criminally cute, it's as if they are invincible.
I admit, 'cuteness' is a rather strange weakness. It as if the world realizes that it has messed up by creating the most unstoppable creature in all of history, and then tries to balance it out by giving me a weakness. But then they already make it so that I would be pretty much invincible to any physical or magical damage.
So, weakness to cuteness.
Even when I fought Guiche, I know I won't be able to kill him…her.
The face he made when I threaten to crush his skull is too cute.
The fat one isn't too cute, maybe I can stab him.
Now I realizes that my magic isn't too well suited for a non lethal warfare.
Maybe I can freeze them? Nah, frostbite can kill. They can kill very well, in fact.
Chop their legs off? No, blood loss.
Maybe breaking their bones? That sounds acceptable, right?
WHOOOSH!
It's hard to think when a giant snake made of flame is trying to eat you.
That Colbert guy is good.
Too bad I'm wearing flame cloak.
Oh, and a fireproof beard. That is a must to all dragon hunters worth their salt.
"Flame is useless against his armor spell! Use something else!" shouts Kaita.
"Damn it!"
The mages of this world seems to be 'locked' to a certain element of Destruction, or at least have strong affinity to it.
So I guess Colbert doesn't like using anything other than flame magic.
Granted, when you find an obstacle in life, burning it to death is usually is the best option.
But I think that you got to be more creative in your way of killing people.
Just last week, in fact, that I discovered a way to stab people in the heart while still keeps it beating.
If I just left the knife there, every heartbeat would make the cut wider, bringing the victim closer to death.
Anyway, back to the current fight…
There's something very annoying about being a half-dragon.
The mere possibility that somewhere up your family tree, your grandmother did 'that' with a dragon, is enough to keep you from concentrating.
So I sing. Guess those times at the bard school is
We're merry men of Skyrim
So sturdy and so stout
When the day is done
When it's time for fun
We'll drink and sing and shout!
I dodged another fireball, though there's no need to, since I'm on fire. Flame cloak is a wonderful spell.
That was the girl with a twin mountain for a chest from before. I think her name is Kirche?
And there's that girl with the glass on her face. She's already back from delivering Little Miss, I see. Hm... blue short hair
I like the color blue. And purple too. Remind me of the Soul Cairn.
Thought I personally think that 'hell' is overrated. It's quite comfy in there, after you get used to the sorrowful screams of the untimely dead.
Oh and the girl with the blue hair is now working together with the one with the red hair in a joint attempt to murder the shit out of me.
"Tabitha! I can't hit him with that flame cloak still on! Try to put it out!"
"Understood."
The short girl with blue hair start to swing around her staff (It's a large staff with a crooked end, the kind an old man would use to bash a little kid.) and a sudden gust of icy wind put my flame cloak out of commission.
"Ha! Good job, Miss Tabitha!" Shout Colbert in triumph. And there's out his giant flame snake again.
"Oi! Chill out, Mate!"
I summon an ice thrall.
"Is that an Ice Giant?!" screams one of the student. Don't know which one. Not like I care.
"He just summoned an Ice Giant with a snap of a finger!"
Hey, we magus of Tamriel might not be able to fly, but at least we can open a gate to hell willy-nilly.
The Flame Snake giant jaw is big enough to swallow a grown man in single gulp, but my Ice Thrall ain't going to stay still and let himself get eaten.
Anyway, that girl with blue hair use ice magic, and the red one use flame magic. If everything is color coded like this, my life would be way easier. Can't wait to meet an earth mage with green hair, ha!
Anyway, as I watch the flame snake struggle with the giant spiked punch of my "Ice Giant", I see that this fight has gone…boring.
And yes, it is boring, at least by my standard.
Let's spike things up a bit.
I snap the fingers of both of my hand.
"Arniel, Lucien, Come forth."
Another rips on the veil of reality, and two of my must trustworthy servants come out of the plane of Oblivion.
Well, trustworthy, because they are dead.
"Are those…ghosts?" I can hear Kaita mumble.
"Heh, seems like you get into an interesting situation, Listener. Again." Snarks Lucien Lachance, my spectral assassin.
"Well yes." I answered bluntly.
"So, what's the plan?"
"In the count of three, everybody start killing somebo…"
Poweeerrrr!
"What the sod…"
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnliiiiiiii imiteEEd poweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeRR!
Arniel Gane, the former professor of the College of Winterhold, now a ghost, shot a stream of lightning from his fingers and quickly knocked out a few students.
And then he charges for the teacher.
"Damned by the Dread Father! He said in the count of three, you jackass!"
Poor Arniel, since that experiment with Dwemer artifact, his head has never quite right. Maybe I should told him that when a single event wiped out an entire advanced civilization, you generally don't want to repeat it.
"I think I'm just going to watch the fight from above."
"Whatever." Lucien then draws his Bound Dagger.
"Alright! DURNEHVIIR!"
And then a giant dragon comes from the bottom of the Soul Cairn and start walking around on the Vestri Court. No, really.
No special effect, no ominous music. Just poof! Giant, immortal, man-eating machine.
The battlefield is almost completely silenced, as the residents of Halkeginia simply gawk at the sudden randomness the series of events has taken.
And a red haired boy got fried by Arniel Gane.
Now, I have an Ice Thrall, Arniel, Lucien, and Durnehviir on my side. Any Conjurer with half a brain will tell you how dangerous it is to summon more than two creatures at a time from beyond the Veil. But sod, I'm the Dovahkiin, bitch. If they ever going berserk, I'll kill them myself.
"I…It…it's…"
Come on, spit it out.
"IT"S A DRAGON!"
Ah yes, now most of the children have left the battlefield, pissing their pants, I can concentrate more on killing the teachers.
There's only Kaita and Colbert plus a few of very brave and stupid students.
"This is too much! Retreat!" screams one of the students.
Ah? Running away now? So all it took is one giant dragon to make you listen to tour teacher? Man, I'd hate to be a teacher in this place.
The 'Ice Giant' has been completely melted by now, and the flame snake has disappeared.
Colbert uses this chance to shepherd the children out of Vestri Court.
I dismissed Arniel and Lucien.
"Thuri." Call Durnehviir in dragon language.
"Yes, brother?"
"What just happened?"
"A random bullpoop. Just like always."
"And who is she?"
"Hm?"
Ah.
It's Little Miss.
She's walking here.
Why is she looks pissed off?
She keeps walking until she's about five meters away from me.
A girl that almost can be called midget, facing two mystical beings with enough power to crush an army.
The girl reaches below her black cloak, and pulled out a gun.
Uh-oh.
I can hear a spinning noise…
BAM!
…and then everything went black.
-The End-
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Author notes:
Aaaaaaaaand…I've completely lost interest on this fic. I'll end it here for now.(i will continuing it, though unlikely anytime soon. uriel is not dead. he has dragonbone skull.
I think I'm going to write a Sword Art Online fic after this. It would be like some sort of review on SAO, but SAO as a Video Game, not an anime.
Although I also have an idea for Saint Row/Nanoha FanFic….
Or maybe I should continue on VOLTAGE, my To Aru Majutsu/InFamous/FarCry3/GTA 4 mega cross-over?
Choices…choices….
