Pains of Sacrifice
Disclaimer: I own nothing
A/N: There are some critical past moments that I glaze over or have in this chapter because it's time to hit the moment of Lessons rather than focus solely on all of the past backstory-of which most we already know. So here you go.
Chapter 9 (The Calm and the Storm)
Trina sat at the edge of a large Cliffside, admiring the view from above. Below was a gorgeous valley full of trees, rolling hills and a vibrant and swift flowing river. Above the sky was a dark blue, which indicated that it might start to rain soon; or it was getting late and the sun was going down. The latter seemed hard to believe when it was only a half hour after four.
She took a deep breath, breathing in the crisp air. The wind was calm and quiet, but every now and then blew by her with a cool breeze that ruffled her hair just a bit. "Admiring the view?" Jade asked from behind. Trina opened her eyes slowly and smiled a bit.
"You know you don't have to come check up on me, right? I'm not thinking of jumping off this cliff."
Jade sat down beside her, a spitting image of a very pregnant woman trying not to fall over as she sat on the edge. Trina raised an eyebrow at her, curious if Jade needed any help. "I know. I just wanted to come see it." The girl took a breath and leaned her body forward just a bit, her eyes closing over as the wind caressed her cheeks. "Breathtaking and stunning, I can see why your dad liked to bring you guys out here." Trina looked back at the scenery with a subtle nod. "Thank you for inviting me."
"I was a little skeptical about bringing you out here in your state, but I thought you might like it. It's one of my favorite places to come and relax; but I haven't been out here since I was a girl."
"It's refreshing. The view, and you too."
"Me?"
"Yeah…It's refreshing to see this side of you, the you that is the real you." Trina chuckled softly and began to shake her head. She could feel it inside of her, the longing to be out in the nature, surrounded by the trees and animals; but it had been so long that she didn't know how to tap into that anymore.
"Believe it or not, I'm not a tree hugger or anything. I just love nature." Jade laughed.
"I wasn't going to accuse you of being one."
She smirked and cast a side glance towards Jade. "Good." Her eyes drifted back and her shoulders rose. "Hope you're gearing up for the hike tomorrow."
"I really don't want to slow anyone down."
"You won't. Just don't use pregnancy as an excuse to miss out. It's important to be careful, more than normal, but that doesn't mean you absolutely can't do something." Jade nodded gently.
"What about martial arts?"
"What about it?"
"Can a pregnant woman do that?"
"Maybe? A woman in early stages might be fine, but I don't know about a woman in her late stages."
"Think you could teach me some moves? Once the baby is born?"
She laughed, unsure that Jade would have the time. She hadn't done much practicing in a while herself, but she still knew enough. "I could try, if you were really up for it." Jade grinned and nodded swiftly. "You do want to stay active and exercise once the baby is born, anyway. I mean, it's just as important to take it easy too."
"Yeah." Jade leaned backwards and slowly pat her stomach, her eyes drifting down carefully. Trina studied her with a tender smile, watching as Jade's hand circled her stomach. "I can't wait for her to be born. We're thinking of naming her Opal. We wanted to give her a gem name."
"Opal? Not Emerald? It's green like you. Or even Ruby. I like Ruby."
"No. One green color is enough, I'm afraid." Jade started to laugh, then snorted. "Besides, green is my color for another reason. Envy. My daughter shouldn't be green with envy. Also, I love the color of opal, and Beck favors that gem, so that's what
"I like that. Have you two thought about what would happen if it turns out not to be his?"
"I don't think that will happen."
"It's a possibility…"
"I don't want to think about it being a possibility." Jade sighed and Trina turned her head away momentarily. She didn't think it was wise to ignore it, but it wasn't her decision. "Beck says he'll love the baby no matter what. I…" Jade raised her head and sighed. "Have decided to keep it despite the people telling me I'll have a better life if I have an abortion. Beck wants me to keep it too, and I want to keep it."
"Good on you for deciding for yourself. A lot of people who are pro-choice will favor abortion because 'it's my body, it's my choice' and accuse anyone that doesn't favor abortion of being pro-life and ignorant. They don't acknowledge that the decision lies right in their favorite slogan: It's your body. It's your choice. If you decide to keep the child, you decide to keep the child and screw anyone that says 'your life might be better or different for having an abortion'."
"I don't really know where you stand on the matter, but thank you…"
"For what?"
"Being supportive no matter what and not pushing your opinion on me." Trina smiled tenderly and gently rubbed Jade's back. "I considered adoption, I considered abortion and I considered keeping my baby…and even if it isn't Beck's, I feel more secure raising it with Beck by my side."
"You've got more than I had."
"Maybe…maybe you should consider calling around and seeing how that baby of yours is doing?" Her heart sank and her smile faded into a frown. She couldn't even begin to imagine doing that. She just wanted to trust her baby would find a loving home, trying to seek her out was too much.
"That is…" She exhaled and let her shoulders slope down. "Too painful for me."
"I know. Maybe one day." They gazed out at the scene before them and went quiet so they could enjoy it all in bliss.
A couple years later, Andre was experiencing the greatest moment of his young life; he was becoming a father. Trina joined the rest of his friends at the hospital, eagerly awaiting the new arrival.
Things were looking up for everyone, even for her. She was still with the school district and enjoyed going to work every day. She was slowly overcoming her own depression, as her friends helped and supported her. Jade and Beck had married, with Jade naming her as the maid of honor. Their baby had not been Beck's after all, but it seemed to bring them closer together rather than drive them apart.
Cat and Robbie were now engaged, with Robbie pursuing a teaching career while Cat was beginning to give voice lessons from home. Andre, Jade and Beck were also pursuing teaching careers. Andre, like Robbie, elected to teach secondary education while Jade and Beck gravitated towards primary.
Even Tori seemed to be doing well, as far as anyone could tell. She found an agent who helped her make a name for herself. She had a couple songs that were out, which Trina did listen to. They weren't the style of music she favored, but she still wanted to support her sister even if it was from afar.
Tori hadn't contacted them since she left, even deleting some from her facebook page. It hurt a great deal, but everyone tried to focus on their own lives and not worry about it. After a while, that worked for some; but for Trina and her parents it was hell. Her father never forgave Tori and her mother was sinking further into her depression. Trina got by simply by focusing on her job. She got back into hunting, fishing, and camping outdoors-which helped her a great deal.
Still, she struggled, upset over the things that happened in her life; but she couldn't help it. The past was a burden that she felt might never truly go away.
"They've been in there a long time," Robbie said under his breath. Trina acknowledged him with a nod and studied the hospital door. She was looking forward to see Andre and his fiancé with their new daughter. She was friendly with Taylor, though didn't know a whole lot about her.
Taylor once asked her if she believed in ghosts, a question that led to an interesting conversation. At the base, Trina wasn't sure if she did or not. There were things that happened in her life which she could not explain, things she'd seen that she didn't understand. Anytime she passed the ruins of Hollywood Arts, for example, she swore she could see a silhouette that looked just like Jason. Most of the time she dismissed it as a trick of the eyes.
Taylor, however, believed in ghosts and confided in her-despite fears of being thought crazy-that she lived with ghosts who suggested she go to the college where she met Andre. According to her, this was Andre's father and brothers, something she was always afraid to bring up with him. Trina didn't disbelieve her, but she wasn't sure what to make of the whole thing.
She'd taken an interest in the paranormal once before and did believe that there might be people who had special traits or senses; the 'sixth sense' as Jade so often said. Jade, of course, did believe in all the paranormal stuff and thought that it was Jason Trina would see every time she passed by. Jade, and Taylor, believed that Jason may have become a guardian angel of sorts and would appear at Hollywood Arts as a reminder that he was watching over those he loved.
"I hope everything's okay in there," Trina said with a soft voice. Her stomach was tightening and she felt something odd hanging in the air. Strangely, she thought she could smell smoke, but dismissed it as no one else appeared to react to a smell.
The tiny baby, Opal, slumbering in her mother's arms, awoke and made a small crying noise that attracted Jade's attention. As this occurred, she thought she saw Taylor in the corner of her eye. When she turned her head, however, the girl was gone.
It took a few minutes for Jade to quiet her child. When she finished, Andre slowly walked out of the delivery room with a young baby in his arms. His face was wet with tears and he was trembling. Having become the rock of the group, now crumbling before everyone, his friends immediately stood and surrounded him.
"She's gone," he said with a broken voice. "Taylor didn't make it…" Trina's heart stopped suddenly and her trembling hand rose to her lips. A shockwave of grief tore through her, as the others reacted with surprise and sorrow.
Moving forward, Trina wrapped her arms around Andre, holding him close. Of everyone, she'd grown closest to him, with only Jade on equal level. She admired him, respected even, and so this news was truly horrifying to her. "I'm so sorry, Andre. I…I liked Taylor a lot. Anything you need…"
"Thank you."
The others gave their words of support, with some trying to get him to focus on his baby daughter. He named her Ophelia Denise Harris, with Denise being after his mother.
As the group rallied around Andre, Trina decided to take Ophelia into her arms when it seemed her father was ready to break down and cry. She looked down at the child with a gentle smile. The girl had fuzzy brown hair, olive skin like her mother and chocolate brown eyes. She reminded Trina a bit of her daughter, which broke her heart a bit despite the smile that grew on her face.
"You have a wonderful father, Ophelia," she whispered. "He is a fantastic friend, a great teacher and a wonderful person. I am sure he will be a great father to you. Your mother so looked forward to seeing you…I am sorry that you will not grow up knowing her, but…she will always be a part of you."
As the day passed, Trina thought this might be the worst news to land on her plate. Tensions in the world were growing, reaching such a peak that she could not fathom. It was to such a point that her father was retiring, and only a few short days, weeks, from retirement. Her godfather, David's best friend Gary, was also thinking about retiring. Trina herself was thankful she opted out of following in her father's footsteps to becoming a police officer. She wanted to be one when she was a kid; but that was the extent of that desire.
On the drive home, she caught a breaking alert on her radio announcing that someone, declaring allegiance to the BLM movement, had just gunned down two police officers. One was announced dead upon arrival by paramedics while the other had been listed as critical condition.
She was about to change the station when the news listed names that chilled her to the bone. "Detectives Gary Malone and David Vega." She slammed on the breaks, causing the driver behind her to do the same and blast their horn at her. Her eyes grew large and the color drained from her face. "They were eating dinner when the assailant opened fire on them. Detective Vega was struck in the back twice. Detective Malone who attempted to shield his partner from the gunfire, was shot in the abdomen and the neck, was announced dead at the scene when paramedics arrived. The suspect is in custody. Several leaders and members from the well known Black Lives Matter movement are denouncing his actions while others praise him for doing his due diligence in 'killing two white cops'. This just in, from-"
Trina shut off the radio and clasped the steering wheel firmly. Her knuckles were growing white. Her mouth hung open and her eyes where frozen in front of her on nothing. She began to tremble as her eyes filled with burning tears.
She wanted to floor it to the hospital, she wanted to call her mother and talk to her, or at least attempt to reach out to Tori and let her know what just transpired; but she couldn't make a move. As her heart began shattering, she pulled the car to the side of the road and dropped her head to the steering wheel. A loud cry erupted from her lips as her entire body shook with greater force than that of an earthquake.
A lot to take in this chapter. We see where Jade and Trina have started growing closer and even Jade wanting to take lessons from Trina in martial arts to the darker moments of the past. The loss of Andre's fiance, the moment that David ends up paralyzed. We're reaching a crucial point, coming fast on Tori's return. I'm not sure how much of the Lessons timeline I will focus on before we begin to focus on the bigger picture, the family's growth with Rachel back in Trina's life. I'm not sure what the right move is, I don't want to drone on and on if you, my readers, already know everything that happened in Lessons; but I don't want to rush through everything either because it's in Trina's perspective this time around. The trick here is we know that in Lessons, Trina's already grown quite a bit. She was strong, only breaking apart when it came time to bring Rachel into her life. So she doesn't have a lot of character development or change throughout Lessons and wouldn't have much more development until she starts to be a mother...So definitely, give me your thoughts on the chapter and on that.
