Hiya guys. So, after a week of daily updates, I went MIA and for that I apologize. Being Labor Day Weekend, I barely got a moment to myself. Also, I got some serious writers block with this chapter so if it seems rocky, I'm sorry. I might (don't hold me to this) be posting the next chapter tonight, if not then definitely tomorrow. This chapter is on the lighter side, hope it satisfies!


Emily smiled widely as she opened her eyes to her alarm, 7:45 a.m. along with the date flashing brightly. It was the morning of Christmas Eve, Emily's favorite holiday, and she could see the snow falling outside her window. She had every reason to smile, Rosewood High was on Christmas break, her father was home for the holidays, and for whatever reason, it seemed A had taken a Christmas break.

"Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Ro-" Emily started singing before being cut off, a body curling into her and a hand slapping itself over her mouth as a mumbled 'too early' came from behind her.

Oh right, another reason to smile was the fact that she'd woken up to Paige McCullers on Christmas Eve. They hadn't slept together since they'd started unofficially seeing each other again; both girls agreed that wasn't something they were comfortable doing until they were officially together. Emily wanted Paige to be her girlfriend, but Paige just wasn't ready, and Emily was trying extremely hard to continue understanding that. However, on beautiful mornings like this she could pretend that wasn't the case and enjoy life in the nice pink bubble they were living in. There was a tradition in the Fields home, at 8:00 a.m. on Christmas Eve her mother would burst into her room with Christmas tree pancakes and eggnog. Her smile faded at the thought and her eyes immediately snapped to the alarm on her bedside table that was now flashing 7:53 a.m. Oh Crap. Her mother would be coming in any minute now and Paige was most definitely not supposed to be sleeping over, especially in her bed. While it was definitely innocent, Pam didn't know that.

Poking Paige repeatedly, the girl didn't move, simply choosing to curl herself further into Emily with every poke. God, she's so cute. I hope she forgives me for this. Emily bit her lip and scrunched up her face with guilt as she rolled Paige off the bed.

Falling to the floor with a thud, Paige immediately groaned. Her hand moving to her head as she looked up at the guilty looking brunette on the bed, "that's going to leave a bruise."

"Sorry," Emily mumbled with an apologetic look, "but you need to leave before my mom walks in and sees you."

"Why? Just tell her I slept on the pull out." Paige mumbled from her new spot on the ground, her eyes shutting as she prepared to go back to sleep.

"Yeah, except it's not in here and the hickeys you're sporting don't exactly make us look innocent…." Emily whisper-shouted, looking back at the clock, "You've got 4 minutes before you have to explain to my mother that you didn't fall asleep here after we took part in a night long sex marathon."

Paige jumped up at the thought; she definitely didn't want to have that conversation with Pam Fields. "If you didn't insist on leaving your mark, we wouldn't have this issue," the swimmer hissed as she looked herself over in the mirror and started redressing.

Looking up at her with big brown eyes and a dopey smile on her face, Emily admired her work, "I like to make sure people know you're off limits."

Quickly grabbing her jacket and looking at the clock 7:58, Paige slid her phone into her pocket along with her keys. "Thanks for letting me stay last night," Paige whispered as Emily walked her to the bedroom door.

Nodding, Emily opened her bedroom door and looked around the hallway before pushing Paige out.

Looking up at the top of the door from her spot in the hallway, Paige grinned, "You know….." she started, her eyes on the mistletoe.

Emily gripped the back of her head tightly, slamming their lips together in a passionate and needy kiss. "Yeah, I know. Now get out." Emily whispered, as they broke apart.

Grinning, Paige nodded as she started to quickly make her way down the stairs. Making it to the bottom of the stairs, Paige was almost in the clear when she heard, "Good Morning, Paige."

"Oh my god! Paige! when did you get here?!" Emily shouted in mock surprise from the top of the stairs.

"Mrs. Fields!" Paige whipped around quickly from her spot at the door, pretending she had been entering rather than exiting. "Merry Christmas! Good morning! I was just coming to say both of those things and deck the halls! " She practically shouted with a huge, nervous smile on her face. Emily was practically drawing blood from how deep she was biting into her lower lip to keep from giggling. Paige had never acted that gleeful.

Raising an eyebrow, Pam looked from Emily to Paige and rolled her eyes. "Goodbye Paige. Please wish your parents a Merry Christmas Eve for me." She waved off the girl, who was quick to give Emily a big smile and run out the door. "You're lucky I just ate a Christmas tree pancake, or this would have gone very differently." Pam mumbled into her coffee before walking away from a flushed Emily.


Christmas had come and gone quickly, Emily and Paige both spent the following few days with their families while sneaking in texts to each other every so often. They'd exchanged playlists for the holidays, choosing to go with something more personal than the average gift. Emily had spent days playing the playlist on repeat and analyzing her situation with Paige; Paige was getting antsy as she saved the playlist for her upcoming trip to California.

It was Thursday night and Paige was leaving for the airport the following morning.

"Can't you just, you know, not go?" Emily mumbled against Paige's neck, her arms wrapped around her ex-girlfriends waist.

"Sorry babe, I need to get some idea of where I'll be next year." Paige leaned her head back against Emily's shoulder.

"You're not going to find yourself a Stanford girlfriend while you're there, right? I mean, should I be worried?"

Turning around in her arms, Paige scrunched her eyebrows and gave Emily a confused look, "Why would you even ask that? You know we're –" she trailed off.

"We are what?" Emily questioned, tucking a strand of Paige's hair behind her ear.

"….having relations?" Paige tried, cringing at how terrible that sounded. Sighing, she leaned her head against Emily's, "I'm sorry. I know this is hard, I'm just-"

"Not ready," Emily finished with a sad sigh, "I know."

"What's wrong?" Paige whispered softly, pulling the girl into her.

"Nothing, it's… it's nothing."

"Just tell me, I can't fix it unless I know what's wrong."

Breaking away from Paige, Emily took a few steps back and ran a hand through her hair. "Are you embarrassed to be with me?"

"What?!" Paige practically shouted, taking a few steps forward, "I don't even know where you'd get that idea, it's absurd. Of course not, why would I ever?"

"It's just, you seem to want to be with me like this, when we're sneaking around and it doesn't mean much. But you're not ready for the rest, and I'm not trying to rush you, I just.. I'm scared you're embarrassed of me." Emily ducked her head, her hands gripping the bed tightly as she sat down.

Paige shook her head rapidly, "No, no, no. That's not it at all!" She really did not want Emily to start feeling insecure, there was absolutely nothing to feel insecure about. Paige had spent the majority of the morning watching her wake up and questioning how she'd managed to land a girl like her. "I just don't think we should tell anyone till it's official. I mean, people gossip and we don't need any more intrusions."

"Are we ever goin-" Emily went to ask but was immediately cut off.

"Yes, we are. I promise, I just need to be sure I'm fully prepared to take this leap again."

Nodding, Emily allowed an approaching Paige to grip her waist, "so you aren't going to hookup with girls in California?"

Shaking her head, she pressed her lips softly to Emily's. "No California girls," she mumbled against Emily's lips, "only you." The other brunette eventually smiled into the kiss before returning it, she was willing to wait for Paige.

"I guess it's kind of a good thing you won't be here for New Year's," Emily whispered, earning a questioning look from Paige. "Because I wouldn't be able to help kissing you in front of everyone on New Year's Eve after the countdown."

Paige suddenly wished she could magically be ready at the thought. She sat back on her bed and pulled Emily on top of her, "I love-"

"I know," Emily cut off. They hadn't said those words since they'd broken up, and while both girls had almost slipped up a few times, neither of them really wanted to say it until everything was official. Nonetheless, it was nice to know nothing had changed on that front.

Paige sat against the headboard and Emily positioned herself to straddle her ex-girlfriend, they definitely weren't making this easy on each other. Paige's hands immediately fell to Emily's hips before sliding their way down to her thighs, Emily's stayed glued to the girl's neck.

Swallowing thickly, Paige squeezed Emily's thighs lightly, "You're going to be the death of me, Fields." Their lips had collided within seconds; their make out sessions had only been elevating recently. Within minutes Emily had a hand tangled in Paige's hair and Paige's hands were roaming underneath her shirt and over her back. She ran her fingers along the tan girl's spine, so softly the touch could have been imagined. Emily shivered before biting into Paige's lower lip, earning a soft moan from the swimmer.

Neither girl heard the sound of the door opening, both two absorbed by the sounds the other was making as they kissed. However, they heard it loud and clear when a stern "I knew you gave her that hickey" was stated as the door shut. Both girls jumped apart, Emily stayed on the bed while Paige was now standing in the middle of the room, both turning a dark shade of crimson as embarrassment settled in. They'd technically been caught twice in one week, first by Emily's mother and now by Spencer. My mom was right; we're really not any good at this. Emily thought to herself as she watched Spencer casually take a seat at Paige's desk.

"How long?" Spencer questioned as both girls opened and closed their mouths like gaping fish, "I'm offended you didn't tell me, but right now I'm worried about how long."

"We're not-" They both went to defend.

"Yes, you are. You do realize I literally caught you straddling her, right?" Spencer rolled her eyes at Emily before turning to Paige, "and you, you were literally mid-moan. Therefore, your arguments are irrelevant. Is this official?"

Both girls shook their heads. Good, I still haven't lost the bet. Spencer thought with a grin.

"So I assume you're keeping it under wraps until you are?" Spencer questioned, earning affirmative nods, "Alright, my lips are sealed."

"Right," Emily commented awkwardly as she stood from the bed, "Well on that note, I should probably head out."

Paige pouted, but nodded her head in understanding. It didn't seem like Spencer was going anywhere. "I'll walk you out."

Spencer smirked at the two girls, offering Emily a firm "we'll talk later." Paige threw her a glare before following Emily out of her room and down the stairs.

"So, we're two for two on getting caught this week…" Paige chuckled awkwardly as they reached the front door.

"Seems we are, I'm sure I'll suffer through the same Hastings third degree later tonight." Emily reached out instinctively to fix Paige's collar, "I wish you weren't leaving tomorrow."

"I'll be back before you know it," Paige smiled softly, her hands finding their place on her ex-girlfriend's hips, "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," Emily whispered, wrapping her arms around the swimmer's neck. "I really, really wish you were going to be here for New Year's Eve."

Hugging the brunette close, Paige ran her fingers through Emily's hair. "The temptation to kiss you in public would be too high, so I guess you're right about us being better off."

"Try not to find a hot Stanford blonde to give you your New Year's kiss, okay?" Mumbling into Paige's neck, she sighed heavily. Recently they'd spent a lot of time kissing and sneaking around to get physical, but this felt different, more intimate and emotional.

"You either, I'd be a fool to think someone at a New Year's party wouldn't be jumping at the chance to be your midnight kiss."

They stood silently for a few minutes, clinging to each other as if the world was ending. Paige was only going away for a long weekend, but to Emily felt like it was just a preview of what was to come. Paige was going to Stanford next fall, and Emily…. Well Emily seemed to have lost track of her plans somewhere along the way. The only thing she seemed to be sure about lately was Paige, and with Paige being so hesitant to reenter the relationship, Emily was just hoping 2015 looked better than 2014.

Pulling apart, they leaned their foreheads together. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Emily pulled Paige forward and kissed her deeply. She poured all the words she couldn't say into that kiss. I love you. I want you. Please choose me. Please.

They kissed until they ran out of oxygen, both girls breathing heavily against the other's lips. "I'll see you when you get back," Emily whispered, "be safe, okay?"

Paige nodded, lightly squeezing Emily's hips, "always, you too. Call me if you need anything."

Nodding, they kissed once more before Paige opened the door, watching as her ex-girlfriend made her way to her car. I must have ALL the willpower in the world. She thought to herself as she turned to make her way back to her room and back to Spencer.


As Paige reached her bedroom, Spencer immediately told Paige to start talking, and she did. She told Spencer everything, from the late night phone calls to the night on the dock to Christmas. Paige knew she was breaking her own rule by talking about it, but Spencer already knew so it was justified.

"Seems to me like you're ready?" Spencer commented without hesitation.

"What? No, I'm still trying-" Paige started to counter, but was quickly cut off.

"Do you love her?"

"Yes, but-"

"Do you enjoy spending time with her?"

"Yeah of course, but-"

"Do you trust her?"

"Yeah, she's really gained it back, but-"

"Do you want to be in a relationship with her?"

"Yes! I'm just not-"

Spencer cut her off for the fourth time as she concluded, "You're ready, you're just scared."

"What? I'm not scared!" Paige argued, although to some extent she knew Spencer had figured her out.

"You're terrified that you're going to make the mistake of letting the girl who broke you, back in. And you're terrified she's going to break you again." Spencer stood up and moved to sit beside Paige on the girl's bed, "the thing you don't realize is that it doesn't matter whether you're officially together or not, it's already a possibility."

Chewing her lip nervously, Paige kicked her feet against the bed, "If she's not mine, then I can't break if I lose her again."

"She's already yours," Spencer shrugged, "as long as neither of you are seeing anyone else, and you're making points of sneaking around with each other, you're already together in all the ways that matter." Squeezing the swimmer's shoulder, Spencer stood up, "Take this weekend to think it over, but maybe you need to realize that your fears are never going to subside until you face them. Emily's proven herself to you, she's proven she's trustworthy and that she's sticking around. Now it's just time for you to decide whether your fear will inevitably keep you from being all in. Emily deserves someone who's all in, so if that's not going to be you, let her go McCullers."

Paige nodded in understanding, she knew Spencer was right. She wanted to be all in, she said from the very beginning she wouldn't ever be half there in a relationship with Emily. She was terrified, of getting hurt, of getting left behind, of having to pick herself up the way she did before. But Spencer was right, after how hard Emily had tried in the past month, she deserved better than a girl who was paralyzed by fear. She couldn't run forever.

Paige stood and accepted the hug Spencer was offering her, regardless of her relationship with Emily, she really cherished her friendship with Spencer.


Emily made her way into her house, her body feeling heavy and tired as she made her way to her room. She mumbled a quick goodnight to her mother in passing before stepping into her room and shutting the door behind her.

"Finally, you're home," a voice came from her bed, causing her to jump in panic.

"Jesus Christ!" She shouted, clutching her chest as she leaned against her bedroom door. "What the hell Hanna!"

"What?" Hanna mumbled, stretching from her place on Emily's bed.

"You scared the crap out of me."

"Yeah and you woke me, who did more damage?" Hanna shrugged, repositioning herself to get comfortable, "anyway, I'm sleeping over."

"Aren't you supposed to ask before deciding to sleepover?" Emily asked with a raised eyebrow as she began changing her clothes.

"Aren't you supposed to inform your best friend when you're getting dirty with your ex?" Hanna challenged, earning a wide-eyed look from Emily.

"How? What? No, we're not-"

"Don't insult me. I know sneaking around when I see it; been there, done that." Hanna leaned over and grabbed Emily's computer, "plus, I was creeping on your itunes and saw your Christmas playlist from Paige. You definitely don't dedicate these songs to someone who's just a friend."

"We're just-"

"And in case you want to keep trying to be shady with me, your mom told me you were at Paige's and that hickey on your neck tells me everything I need to know." Hanna finished with a smirk, daring Emily to continue trying to lie her way out of this.

Blushing deeply, Emily's hand came up to rub her neck. "She doesn't normally mark, she was getting even," Emily mumbled.

"She's been wearing scarves for the past two weeks, so I'm sure she had a lot to get even for."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Emily apologized as she took her place in bed, running a hand through her long hair. "We're not really anything right now, she's not ready to be with me."

Hanna turned off and propped her head up on her arm, "I really thought you guys would be officially together and sipping pink drinks by now."

Rolling her eyes, Emily sighed, "Yeah, so did I, honestly."

"So you're basically hooking up with Paige and waiting around for her to be ready?" Hanna questioned, earning a nod from her best friend. "Lame. You've totally proven yourself, it's time to get this show on the road."

"I'm not going to force her, Hanna. That won't help the situation in any way."

"I'm not saying to force it," the blonde rolled her eyes, "just give her a little shove in the right direction."

"What do you mean?" Emily questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm saying that you've been patient, and clearly that approach is just prolonging the inevitable. Try persistence."

Emily thought the idea over to herself; she did say she would fight for Paige. Sure, she'd done a bit of it so far, but the majority of what she'd been doing was waiting. She was being patient, but maybe patience wasn't what Paige really needed. Maybe Paige needed a reason; a small push to assure her that their relationship was definitely the right choice. Emily had to give Paige a reason to stop being scared, and start being ready.

"You should try jumping in the shower with her," Hanna offered as Emily groaned, "what? It was totally the turning point in my relationship with Caleb!"

"That would be ambushing her!"

"With your hot body! Dude, she would not mind, trust me!" Emily was shaking her head, thanking god the lights were off being her fair was bright red as she thought of Paige showering. Hanna definitely didn't notice as she continued, " Just be like 'ohh Paige, I didn't know you'd be in your shower now too...Wanna be my girlfriend?' You'll be naked, she can't say no to that!"

Emily turned over in bed, pressing her face into her pillow as she mumbled, "Goodnight Hanna." As Hanna mumbled a quick 'Whatever, I'm right', Emily was willing herself to stop thinking about a naked Paige, and start strategizing. Persistence now. Naked Paige later.