I had a flight delay, so a new chapter!

let me know what your thinking!

listen to Papercut by Zedd & Troye Sivan for this chapter.

-g

James had returned to his brooding and silent self as they'd left her home behind, Shadow on a long lead that Tala gave an illusion of holding tightly.

She'd learned long ago not to leave him off the leash to long, lest people begin to have some fear and panic. He'd caused many episodes and as they walked past their first grouping of people and they moved as far from her as possible, it was self-evident.

The wolf, although well past his younger years, trotted alongside both of them quite easily sniffing only occasionally towards the few bushes along the way, both humans following quiet and unsure.

Tala needed to speak to an old friend, now especially, and although leaving the safety of her guarded home was not preferable, where they headed now was quite possibly safer than even her own place.

It was just the journey along the way that was the hard part, no matter how short it may be.

Buck watched every corner, scanned every rooftop, waiting for the imminent threat to attack. Some part of him almost wished for the attack, to take his mind off everything that had happened now.

His hunger hadn't waned a bit, and as Tala had rushed them to get dressed and be on their way, Buck nearly whimpered when she'd covered her skin with clothing. He missed the soft tan curves and tattoos nearly the instant they were covered up.

His foot was completely healed by the time she'd latched a long lead to Shadow, and so as he pulled his boots back on, the underlying feeling of panic returned to the pit of his stomach.

He'd let himself be so focused on the promises of safety and his own hunger, that he forgot the danger he was in, and by connection now Tala.

Her hands had taken a few minutes to return to their normal smooth coloring, and as Tala opened her front door, she had offered one of them to him with a wink.

The moment their palms and fingers had touched, hers began to turn black again and she'd yanked her hand back fast as a drop of excitement rushed his system like a drop of dye in a glass of water. Bucky hadn't felt excitement for so long, it was so foreign he had let out a strangled giggle, which was the most strange sound he'd ever made.

The flash of power lingered even now, and it had made Tala quiet as she offered an apologetic smile, humming a few bars of a song he'd never heard before, before taking off towards the main entrance to her complex.

Bucky had taken a few moments to compose himself and then closed her door, locking it from the inside, following behind her as he set his shoulders pulling on his ballcap once more and a pair of sunglasses she'd offered him.

They were similar to an aviator style, and so didn't look to odd on his face, he walked next to the woman once again wearing her own boots and hoodie feeling like they were making a very large mistake.

She hadn't told him any more of where they might be heading, and he hadn't asked. Now she took them through the smaller back streets of D.C., as she barreled on ahead with no real notice to her surroundings.

James on the other hand watched each face, every corner, and every building top for an enemy, and wished he could stop. The panic of training kept him on edge, and he wished for one of the first times that he had never been a soldier.

Maybe then he could walk down the street, with a woman and her dog and just think of how beautiful she was, and make some type of plans for a future.

If he'd never been a soldier, he'd never be here to have those thoughts to begin with.

"What are we looking for?"

Bucky couldn't stand the silence any longer, he'd either drive himself mad with his lust or he'd drive himself made with his own thoughts of safety.

Tala glanced behind her shoulder at her soldier and grinned. She flicked a finger towards a small shoppe, a set of boar tusks wedged into the mantle of the door, white panels of lace covering the large bay window beside it till obscurity.

Just as she motioned, Shadow's tail began to wag happily and the door opened to show an old woman with skin the color and texture of old leather.

Well past her eighties, this woman looked closer to a bag of bones, small and delicate with each movement as white and grey hair set atop her head in a pinned bun.

Even with her age, the woman's face lit up in friendship with a large toothy smile, as did Tala who moved forward in a quick rush her hands out and offered to the woman who took them with a firm grip.

"You haven't aged a day since I've seen you last Pearl." Friendship oozed between them, and as the old woman gave off a merry little laugh, Bucky realized there was no reverence for elders in Tala.

If there was the ghost of such a feeling, it was the older looking woman who held it towards Tala herself, and it again unnerved him to think that Tala's words were similar to truth now more than ever.

"And you have become a liar." Both women chuckled, until the old woman suddenly turned her vision on him and he felt it like a rope, trying him to the floor keeping him still.

Although her eyes held small milky spots, telling of cataracts, the woman watched him with such strength in her gaze that he had no doubt she could see him perfectly.

"You've found a relic." Pearl's voice reminded him of the winds you heard coming through the trees on a stormy night, strong and with purpose.

"Not quite, but close."

"He was young, when I first drew breath."

Buck glanced only momentarily towards Tala, hands still grasped within Pearls, who gave him a reassuring smile, and he didn't even bother to question how she could tell his true age.

"Pearl, dirt was young when you first drew breath."

The cackle that came from the elder woman was jarring as she pulled one hand from Tala to offer towards James.

She held no walker, or cane and Bucky didn't even bother to hesitate. Hell, he was almost positive he couldn't have even if he had wanted to.

Taking her hand in his own, Bucky felt the warm breeze of power that felt familiar to that of Tala's.

Old and calm.

"Come inside now all, within safety. "

Still hand in hand, Tala and Bucky followed Pearl within her shoppe, the same water like sensation flowing over him as he crossed her threshold as had happened at Tala's.

Shadow followed, prancing like a puppy the moment Pearl released them never making a sound but clicking about on the hard stone floors as the old woman turned from them to shuffle slowly deeper into the medicine shop towards a small counter separating the back of the store to the front.

"Tala, is she like you?" His words were hushed as Pearl chastised the dog following her as she pulled a small bag of treats from behind her counter and proceeded to fill Shadow's muzzle.

"No, Pearl is completely human. She is a medicine woman, a shaman." There was a small tint of sorrow to Tala's voice, one that Bucky did not miss as he looked at her to find her smiling sadly as she watched Shadow being pampered.

Tala loved Pearl as if the woman were her own family. She'd saved Pearls family from an attack by a group of men who'd let their hate of those with darker skin work them into a frenzy, and since then, Pearl had thrown herself into the natural arts of their people.

Pearl had wanted to understand why Tala was the way she was, and wanted to be a powerful warrior woman of old as well. The closest she'd come was as a medicine woman who had rose to somewhat of a legend herself.

She was blessed by the gods with talent and had helped Tala for the whole of her life with remedies, talismans, and as a connection to the gods Tala held still dear.

"You took your time coming to me, I felt nature's balance turn."

"Then you know what I am here to ask."

"Of course I do."

The hint of pride behind Pearl's words made even Bucky's lips perk up in a momentary smile, as Pearl motioned for them to join her at her counter where she had managed to nestle herself into a large armchair that had seen better days.

Tala had let Shadow's lead go and now with empty hands moved forward to lean against the counter full of small bowls of different powders, flowers, and deep colored spices.

Bucky on the other hand although he had moved forward, he remained mainly behind Tala silent.

He didn't want to draw attention to himself, he felt like an intruder to these two women's interactions. Clearly this strong woman had felt what had happened to Tala and now Tala was here because of it.

He felt like some side note, and although it wasn't a bad feeling, he just felt like he should be far away by now. He should have left D.C., he should be running, and getting as far away as he could from Hydra and everything else he'd done.

"Pearl, I need to be able to control this when I touch him. It keeps being dragged out of me the moment his skin touches mine. Either controlled, or I need your help on returning his mind to himself. You've felt his soul, you know I wouldn't bring you into this unless I felt it was safe."

Buck actually jerked at Tala's words, completely floored at them. This was still about him?

She hardly knew him and now her every move was about helping him.

James could not fathom that type of kindness, he simply could not understand it at all.

"No Tala, don't ask for help for me."

"Hey Martyr, shut up." Tala smiled genuinely at the man before returning her attention to her old friend who had now pulled herself back up from her sitting position, to try and stand once more.

Without thinking, James moved around the counter to wrap an arm around Pearl's shoulder and grasp her hand in his own helping her to stand.

The exchange was silent and quick as once she'd found her footing, he moved away quickly to return to his place just a bit behind Tala.

Pearl's eyes watched him the entire time he moved, a lilting ghost of a smile on her lips.

"There's nothing I can do to help you control what has been given to you. That is only something that you can learn for yourself. Him, on the other hand, may be a different question."

Grabbing a small ledger book, Pearl flipped it open to a freshly tagged page still wet with ink.

Pearl hadn't switched over the anything new, including a ball point pen and had continued to use a fountain pen which left small splotches throughout her writing.

"As you know, memories are not as hard to find as most think. Now, I am not making promises that I can bring them back in a flood, and even with what I do, your help will still be needed to pull them free from the rubble after being shaken free."

Tala leaned forward reading the open ledger of ingredients, the power her old friend possessed never ceasing to amaze her. Pearl had known exactly what she'd needed before Tala had even made the choice to come see her.

Tala moved to begin collecting the ingredients from around the shop, careful to bring each thing back for Pearl to inspect and ration out what she needed. Bucky moved out of her way, silent in his scrutiny as he watched her, unsure of the next thing for him to do.

"Barnes, come here." His name being called by Pearl made him jump as he'd been watching Tala near the front of the store pulling two glass canisters from a low lying cupboard.

His feet marched forward, nearly bewitched as he found himself mere inches away from the small native woman who looked up at him an amused expression as she leaned against an ever crowding counter.

"You don't understand yet do you?"

"All I understand, is that within a span of a day a woman I don't know is changing the course of her life in an attempt to fix my head."

Pearl reached up and tapped his cheek with her weathered fingertips in the lightest slap he'd ever felt in his entire life.

"Don't be smart."

Bucky stared at her in disbelief as the small rickety woman returned to lining the things Tala was bringing her in a sequence specific only to her.

He'd been a killer, the most feared Hydra operative ever, and this old grandmother just hushed him with a tap.

"She understands that she's been shepherded here by the choices of fate. Our culture and lives have ever been shrouded in the reality that our choices are there to make, only to bring us to a reason for our existence. Someone's reason might simply be to change the course of one others. Another's might be to change the course of millions. You are important to this world, no matter the evil that has wrought you or you have wrought. She's been given clarity that not many receive, and that is to know her path, and in turn, yours. Your power remains in your past, and so here we are."

Her words felt like a final speech, and so James didn't even attempt to try and form an intelligent answer.

It was the most terrifying thing he was facing so far in his journey.

The thought that his actions, the things he'd done and were going to do had a hand in shaping someone's entire world, was absolutely frightening. It made complete sense, and he'd known in somewhere deep within him, had been told it by many over the course of his entire life but to truly be faced with the reality.

To accept it.

A clatter brought him back to the scene at hand, to find Tala placing several items in front of Pearl looking at him with a quizzical look to his face.

He looked at her with a new found respect, to be faced with something as imminent as your life's purpose and to face it with humor and no reservations, took the strength of... of a hero.

Bucky felt his throat choke up, as she gave him a smile of reassurance turning back to Pearl.

Here she was reassuring him, an hour after she'd had her entire life changed by power she couldn't control.

Pearl and Tala had begun to speak quickly, arranging things between themselves, and he didn't want to interrupt that but he had to touch her. He needed her anchor, and he had never felt weaker than in that moment of realization.

He may have been an enhanced fighting machine, with power to kill a hundred men without a falter, but he was broken.

Moving sluggishly, Bucky took his post behind Tala like a gargoyle and as she continued to speak to Pearl, he slid his metal hand onto her left hip finally able to breathe with the touch.

Tala hardly registered James as he slid his hand onto her side, intent on Pearl and her instructions for the ceremony. It was relatively basic, but Pearl had kept it such knowing that as with most things it was the one performing the rite that gave true power.

"I can't cast this, Tala. Not because of strength, but for its ending purpose."

"Like I'd doubt you." Tala offered a hand across the counter, which the older looking woman instantly took in her own. Turning to look at Bucky behind her, Tala nudged her head towards the ingredients before her.

"Bet you're just dying to know what we're doing?" Still unable to speak, Bucky shrugged as the cold metal of his hand warmed against her body. He hadn't thought of it at all, and as foolish as it sounded considering it was the last thing he should do ever again, but he trusted her in whatever she meant to do.

Tala would have laughed, if she didn't feel his fear that was taking him over. It was unlike the familiar fear of himself, and fear of being attacked. This fear was for the future.

"We are going to send your subconscious within itself. You will be able to go through your own memories, finding them at a much quicker pace than I could alone because as a part of the memory emerges, you will be able to repair the whole thing. I will be there with you, guiding and helping. I will pull you back if it gets too much."

No words, Bucky nodded in agreement.