Chapter 9 "Brand New Day"
Disclaimer: We own a bunch of stuff. None of which consists of SM's characters or her story. The things that we do own are a shit load of nail polish, an overflowing bookcase or two, and Lillah, Carter and Eli.
Oh oh oh oh
This is a brand new day
Oh oh oh oh
And it's getting better every single way
Oh oh oh oh
This is brand new day
Oh oh oh oh
And I'm feeling better when you say
La la la la la la la love
"Brand New Day" - Tim Myers Ft. Lindsey Ray
LPOV
Saturday morning I wake up before my alarm goes off. I jump out of bed, with a wide smile, ready to start my day. After making my bed I walk into the bathroom, letting out a little gasp when I see my face. I still have red marks on my chin and cheeks, beard burn, from last night. I trace it with my fingers, smiling as I relive the memory of being held by Embry. This time last week I was in a whole other world. And now- I watch as my face is slowly covered in a blush. My life has completely changed.
Pulling my hair into a ponytail, I wash my face then brush my teeth. I have so much energy that I am considering doubling my running path today. I'm meeting Rachel this afternoon for lunch then we are going to head to the beach together. Until then, I need to entertain myself somehow. I turn looking at the clock and decide, a run first, and then I'll come back home, shower and have a nice breakfast. I'm doubtful I'll be able to eat much later. I can already feel the butterflies of excitement begin to flourish just thinking about the day ahead.
Pushing all of my nerves to the back of my mind I pull on my running clothes and get ready to head out. As I walk out of the house I notice that it's only sprinkling rain now. The sight makes me pretty happy. It couldn't be more perfect if it were sunny. I start thinking about the evening and the bonfire, hoping it won't start pouring again. I really want to spend the evening with Embry and see what happens.
-0-
Half way through my run I start to slow, and take in my surroundings. Even though I spent the first ten years of my life in Forks, and many summers after that, I'm still amazed at how beautiful and green the area is. I wish I could bring my camera with me while I'm on my run. I make a mental note to grab it before I go over to La Push; leave a few minutes early and snap some shots on the way to Rachel's house.
After making my plans I speed up again, anxious to get back home and clean up. I've decided I'll do my hair and put on a little bit of make-up, play up my eyes and lips. There is a part of me that wants to make sure I look amazing tonight. I want to impress Embry more than I've ever wanted to impress anyone. I laugh and shake my head at how ridiculous I'm being.
As soon as I walk into the house I flip on my iHome and start stripping down, dropping my running clothes on the bathroom floor. In my head I start planning what I'm going to wear later. Something for comfort, I don't want to look overly obvious seeing as I've never really successfully... seduced a man. Is that what I'm doing? Trying to seduce him? Possibly.
I wash my hair slowly, taking the time to relax and daydream, not wanting to be rushed and be frazzled when I get to La Push. I finish washing my hair and before I turn off the water, I decide I should shave too; my legs, under my arms and all of the other 'necessary' places. I grab two towels, wrapping one around my hair and the other around my body before stepping out of the shower.
I draw a smiley face on the steamed up medicine cabinet mirror, smiling as it grins back at me. I can hear my cell phone ringing through the closed bathroom door. Dashing into my bedroom, I check the caller i.d. and grin when I see it's my mother. I sit down on the edge of the bed, making sure my towel completely covers me, then answer the phone.
"Hi mom! Happy Saturday!" A little giggle escapes as I say this.
My mother is instantly suspicious, "Hi Lillah. What are you so happy about this morning?"
"Do I need a reason to be happy? It's a beautiful Saturday morning."
There is a pause on the other side of the phone, "No, you don't need a reason. I'm just surprised, that's all. You've sounded so down lately, I like hearing your this happy. Do you have any plans for today, dear?"
"I do have plans, actually." I hesitate before continuing, considering my words carefully, "My friend Rachel invited me to have lunch with her and then to join her at a bonfire tonight on the Quileute Reservation." I want to mention Embry, tell my mom about last night, but I can't, not yet anyway.
"Oh, that sounds lovely! I'm so glad you are making friends there."
"Me too, Mom. Rachel has these two friends, Emily and Kim, they are so sweet. Emily invited all of us over for dinner on Thursday. It was so nice getting to just sit around and giggle with these women. I had a really good time."
I can hear my mom smiling on the other end of the phone, "Well no wonder you sound so excited. They sound lovely. I hope I get to meet them sometime."
"I hope so too, Mom. Are you and Daddy planning to visit soon?"
"Hopefully. Maybe a weekend around your birthday. Anything you want this year?"
Embry. I stop myself before I can vocalize that wish. "No, Mom, there isn't anything I want or need. I'd be happy with just a quiet weekend with you two."
"Alright, well, think about it. You sure you wouldn't want something sparkly? Like diamond earrings or a necklace?"
"That's you, Mom. Not me. I'm more like Daddy, I like the simple things in life." I shake my head. As I play with my friendship bracelet, I can't help grinning as I think about my mom and her love of jewelry. While I appreciate jewelry, I prefer simple over sparkly, family heirlooms over brand new.
"Ok dear. If you change your mind, let us know. You go enjoy your day. I can't wait to hear all about it."
My mom mentioning my day makes me giddy again. I'm now anxious to hang up the phone, wanting to get back to my preparations, "Ok Mom, I love you. Give Daddy my love."
"Of course, love you too, Lillah. Have fun."
"I will. Bye!"
I quickly end the call, carrying the BlackBerry with me as I run back into the bathroom. The steam, and my smiley face, are gone from the mirror, but the smile on my face is still there. I am so ready for this day to get going. I'm giddy and happy and so very excited that I consider calling Rachel to see if I can stop by earlier than originally planned. I don't want to appear too pushy or forward so I contemplate this idea while I turn on the hair dryer; slowly, methodically running a brush through my hair, pulling sections of my hair straight. Once my hair is dry and straight, I plug in my big barrel curling iron to put some loose curls through my hair. I don't know why I'm doing this because I'll probably end up pulling it into a ponytail later but I can't help myself.
After I finish working on my hair, I begin the process of my make-up. Light foundation, a touch of blush, pink eye shadow with a little bit of smudged eyeliner to create a smokey effect. I swipe on some mascara quickly, reminding myself not to poke my eye with the wand like I usually do. I'm hoping to wear my contacts and that won't happen if my eyes are irritated and watery.
I stand back and look at myself, smiling softly. I really hope I didn't go through all of this trouble only to have him laugh in my face or, worse, take the 'friends' label to heart and show up with a 'date'. That last thought makes me cringe.
I don't really know if one brings a date to a bonfire because I've never attended one before, but I'm pretty sure you can bring a date to anything. My line of thoughts reminds me of seeing him in Forks, a beautiful brunette on his back, smiling and happy.
Embry seems like a nice guy, when he allows himself to be. I'm sure he deserves to be happy, to find someone to love. I'm just not so sure I like the idea of it being someone other than me. I frown at myself, turning away from the mirror and walking into my bedroom. I shouldn't be thinking about him like this. We are just barely friends and here I am contemplating him falling in love with someone, hoping that it's me. It makes zero sense.
I grab my favorite pair of jeans and a cute top from the closet then go over to my dresser to grab panties and a bra. I pause when I take the simple white cotton underclothes in my hand. Something pretty and lacy catches my eye and I consider whether or not I should wear it instead. I don't think it really matters either way but I trade them out. Maybe if I'm wearing 'power panties', I'll feel more confident. Not that I have ever felt any confidence around a man, especially around a man I'm attracted to. Hell, if I'm being honest, Embry is the only man I've found myself attracted to, ever.
I dress quickly; anxious to see how I look, hoping I'm not too overdone or obvious. I look at myself in my full length mirror. Not too bad, I decide after a few seconds of scrutiny. I glance at my bedside table and see it's almost time for me to leave. I'm glad I took my time and killed most of my morning. I'd have gone stir crazy if I had to wait for a couple more hours with nothing to do. I pull on my shoes; grab a jacket, my cell phone, purse and car keys, then head out.
When I step into the garage I smile at my baby, my first car. Today would be a nice day for her to stretch her legs. The rain will be minimal and I can really have fun with her on the stretch of highway into La Push. A few minutes later I'm in the car driving out of my little 'neighborhood'. I send Rachel a quick text, letting her know I'm leaving my house and I will see her soon. She replies back quickly, her excitement evident in her message, Hurry up! But be careful.
I chuckle and shake my head before tossing my BlackBerry into the passenger seat. I flip the radio on, smile and crank it up when one of my favorite songs fills the interior of the car. As I drive along, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music, I realize I haven't been this excited, or anticipated something this much, since I moved back home. I feel light and happy, like a teenager going on her first date.
I make a few random stops on the drive, snapping pictures of foliage and trees but for the most part I just allow myself to enjoy my drive. I daydream a little, hoping that when Rachel and I get to the bonfire, Embry will be happy to see me.
I imagine him standing with Paul when I approach; his handsome face breaks out into a smile. I'm a little baffled as to why I've suddenly decided I want him to be excited about seeing me when I wanted nothing more than for him to never speak to me again a couple of days ago, but I'm not going to worry about that right now.
-0-
Rachel is standing on her front porch when I pull up to the house. It's such a cute place with its little pots of flowers on the porch. I can't contain a giggle when I see a gnome.
"'Bout time you got here!" Rachel grins as I open the car door and step out.
"What? I'm a little early, aren't I?"
"Nope, you are about thirty minutes late, actually."
"Really? I left home early..." I look down at my watch and frown when I realize she's right.
"I know. I was getting worried. I'd thought about sending Paul out to look for you. Did you get lost?"
Rachel walks down the porch steps to meet me. We hug one another tightly and I follow her inside.
"No, I guess I just lost track of time. I stopped a few times to take pictures but I didn't think it took me that long. Sorry to have made you worry."
"It's okay. I hoped you were just taking your time," Rachel waves her hand dismissively as we walk into the kitchen.
I don't know what Rachel is cooking but it smells divine. I walk over to the oven to try to peek but she hip checks me out of the way.
"Hey! I can't even see what I'm going to be eating for lunch?"
"Not yet," Rachel smiles smugly, taking my jacket and purse from my hands.
I follow her into the living room where she places my things on a small bench next to the front door, "How's your morning been? Is Paul off getting ready for tonight?"
"It's been pretty quiet. Jacob came by this morning with Embry," she cuts her eyes at me and smiles.
"The guys are all setting up. Probably more goofing off than setting up though. They like to play football on the beach before everyone starts showing up for the night."
"Oh?" I pause casually, hoping I'm not too obvious by what I'm about to ask, "What did Jacob and Embry stop by for? They should have stayed and had lunch with us."
"They were just picking up a few things that are stored in the shed. I'm pretty sure Embry would have stayed if Jacob would have allowed it. He was especially interested in what time you'd be getting here."
"Ah, well, I'm sure they are having more fun on the beach than they would be here with us," I shrug and take a seat on the couch.
Butterflies are dancing in my stomach at the information that Embry talked about me. Just friends. We are just friends.
"I kind of doubt it. At least where Embry is concerned."
I don't reply to that statement at all, letting her think what she wants. I'm going to try not to get my 'hopes up' when it comes to Embry and this friendship. The scary thing is, I think maybe I already have.
"So you and Embry. Friends?"
"Um, yeah, so he says. He's kind of giving me whiplash," I admit to her. "Hating me one second, being nice the next."
"Yeah, it's a pattern with these guys. Don't worry though, he'll come around."
"Come around? Meaning what? That he and I will be BFFs?"
"Possibly," Rachel shrugs lightly, "What if it were more than that? Would you want to be more than just friends with him?"
"I don't know," I watch her face closely, looking for some sign of - something.
Rachel exhales slowly, not quite looking me in the eye when she speaks, "Lillah, just so you know. He doesn't - didn't hate you. It's just hard for him to be okay with you learning our secret."
"I can understand that, honestly, Rachel. But it felt like more than that."
"Did you talk to him about it? Did you ask him?" She looks me in the eye, like she's trying to tell me something.
"No," I shake my head, "I thought if he wanted to share with me, he would."
"Maybe."
Rachel looks down and mutters something I can't hear.
"What do you know that you aren't telling me?"
"Nothing," Rachel blurts out quickly, leaving me to believe there is, in fact, something more that I don't know.
I get the feeling that even though I've talked to Billy and Sue and then Rachel, Kim and Emily, I am being left out.
"You should maybe ask Embry, if you want to know more."
"I doubt very seriously he's going to explain anything to me. He only suggested being friends because he knew it was either that or constant fighting and tension."
I hate admitting this out loud to Rachel, but it's the only thing I can think of to explain his change of heart.
"I don't really think that's it, Lillah. It's just hard for Embry sometimes. He really only has the other guys and us imprintees."
"Family?" I ask, leaning forward.
"No one that matters," Rachel answers vaguely.
Before I can ask what she means by that, the oven timer goes off and Rachel jumps up from her chair.
"Lunch is ready!" she calls out to me when she reaches the kitchen.
I take a deep breath and walk slowly into the kitchen, planning to continue my questions. Rachel is plating large squares of lasagna, "Vegetable lasagna? Rach, it looks so good."
"Thanks," she grins at me while placing the plates on the table. "I don't usually cook vegetable entrees with Paul around. He's more of a meat and potatoes kind of guy."
"Does that apply to all of them?"
"Pretty much. But they'll eat almost anything you put in front of them."
"Why am I not surprised?" I mutter to myself.
I file this information away, thinking maybe if this 'friends' thing with Embry works out, I'll make him dinner some time. It would be nice to have someone to eat with on occasion.
We eat in companionable silence for a few minutes before something pops into my head since food is involved.
"Rachel, why didn't you let me say anything when they paid for us last night?"
"Lillah, these guys are proud. They like to take care of us," Rachel tells me cryptically.
"So now that Embry and I are friends he's not going to allow me to fend for myself?"
"W- Lillah, don't be too hard on him. He's really struggling right now. Just let him be nice to you. It'll make you both happy in the long run."
When she cuts herself off I decide not to dig, knowing there are still secrets she can't share.
"Okay, I'll try. It's just hard for me to allow someone to do that. I don't like feeling dependent. Especially to a guy."
"Trying is all I ask," Rachel smiles happily and goes back to her lasagna.
A few moments later, Rachel's smile turns wicked, "Speaking of last night, I'm curious what kind of 'friendship' you and Embry agreed to."
"What do you mean?" I speak slowly, almost afraid of what Rachel will say next.
"Well, for me at least, I don't usually play tonsil hockey in the middle of a parking lot with my friends."
My cheeks turn bright pink, I know this because I can feel the heat coming off of them. I can't believe she saw us. "Um, well, I don't know. We haven't really talked about the uh, boundaries, of our friendship."
I pause for a moment then point out, "He kissed me."
Rachel's laughter is loud and gleeful, "Oh this is going to be fun to watch. And yes, I saw him initiate the kiss, but you can't deny that you were an active participant."
I hang my head, returning my focus to the vegetable lasagna in hopes that Rachel will drop the subject. There is a lull for a few more minutes, I finally decide it is safe to ask her more of my own questions.
"Is it okay if I ask you something about Jacob?"
"Yeah. I mean, I don't know if I can answer you but I'll try," Rachel looks up, placing her fork next to her plate so she can give me her undivided attention.
"At the diner last night, you and Paul and Embry were talking about Jacob not telling his imprintee. Why would he not want her to know?"
"Oh, well... I don't know for sure how much I can tell you. Jacob imprinted on Ness when she was really young. Her parents know about us too," Rachel fidgets in her chair and I can tell she's choosing her words wisely.
"They made an agreement with Jacob, he has to wait until she's older before he tells her. The three of them decided it should be her choice, whether she's 'with' him or not. I'm excited for you to meet her though. She's really sweet and I couldn't have chosen anyone better for my brother. It's hard for me not to tell her, so I can't imagine what it's like for Jacob."
"So she has no idea?"
"No, I don't believe so. She and Jacob are 'friends' right now," Rachel rolls her eyes and does air quotations with her fingers.
"How long does he have to wait before he can tell her?"
"The agreement was he would wait until she's eighteen," Rachel snorts quietly at some inside joke.
"How old is she now?"
"She's... seventeen," Rachel looks down at her plate and picks up her fork.
"Not much longer, then," I pick up my fork and continue to eat as well.
"Yeah. He's talking about throwing a huge birthday party for her next September."
"Oh," I laugh, "He has plenty of time to plan."
"Mhm, that's what I said too but he's pretty set on planning it now."
"I can't wait to meet her. I'm pretty excited about meeting everyone actually. As long as I can manage to not think about the 'wolf' part."
"It'll take some time but you won't even think about it in a few weeks. When I first found out it was shocking but things kind of started to fall into place. I realized why certain things had been happening."
Hearing this makes me sit up and lean my elbows on the table, "So you didn't know before Paul imprinted on you? You had no idea?"
"Well, I'd heard the legends while I was growing up but I never dreamed they were real. Rebecca, Jacob and I used to laugh when Daddy would tell us the stories, rolling our eyes at our crazy old man. Guess he wasn't so crazy after all."
I take a second to think about this. I'd assumed Rachel had grown up knowing because of Jacob being a shape-shifter too. I'm surprised to learn not even family members are told until it's necessary.
"So tell me how it happened. When Paul imprinted on you."
I watch Rachel's face light up. She takes our plates to put them in the sink. Rachel brings over a slice of cake for us to share along with two glasses of milk before beginning her tale.
I sit and listen to her raptly, soaking up her story. It's sweet and romantic, hearing the details of how my friend fell in love with her fiancé. It also makes me ache a little, wishing I had the same thing. Maybe not necessarily the imprintee thing, because I'm not exactly bred for it like the other girls, but a love half that strong would be nice.
-0-
I spent most of the afternoon at Rachel's, hanging out and relaxing with her. It is different from before, now that I know a little bit of what Rachel has to keep secret. She seems more relaxed now that I know at least some of the tribe history and she can talk to someone about it. I'm happy I can be that person for her and hope our bond will grow even stronger over time because of it.
I help Rachel put the leftovers away. She's supposed to meet Paul and the others at First Beach to help finish setting up so I make myself scarce, telling her I'm going for a drive. My plan is to take more pictures and explore the area while I have the chance. Rachel waves to me from the front porch as I back out of the driveway. She's made a few suggestions on places where she thinks I'll get nice shots.
First stop, Flattery Rocks National Wildlife Refuge, or as close as I can get to it since it's off limits to us non wildlife types. No humans allowed. I use a few different lenses and snap some beautiful birds before moving on.
I have the spot where I first met Embry on my mind. The piece of beach that he took me to after Paul phased in front of me. As I'm driving I realize that a lot of the places I'm seeing look the same. I'm not sure if I'll be able to find it. Then I remember that it was near Billy's house, so I head in that direction. I spot a small sand parking lot and whip into it. I spy two people further down the beach, a male and a female, but I can't see their faces clearly.
Climbing out of the car with my camera in hand I start toward the beach. I lift my camera so I can zoom in on the couple. Just as I get focused, I realize it's Embry and the girl I saw him carrying on his back in Forks. Now that I can see her more closely, I can admit to myself how beautiful she really is. She leaps into Embry's arms just as he turns to face her. He's smiling brightly, obviously happy to see her.
I pause, not going any further. I don't want to interfere in this moment, especially considering I don't know who she is. In the back of my mind there is a needling and I frown. Is this one of the girls he sleeps with? Is this another 'friend' of his?
I'm instantly jealous. I tell myself it does no good for me to be envious of how happy he seems with her. He hasn't asked anything of me. I haven't told him I might be interested in being more than friends. If I hadn't already been told he hasn't imprinted, I might think that maybe she is the one. I'm doubtful she's family, since Rachel said he didn't really have anyone.
I come to the conclusion that she has to be someone from the reservation. Except, as I look at her again, I notice she's not really Quileute or any other form of Native American. She has dark hair with a hint of copper, pale skin and dark eyes, she's definitely not from around here.
I drop my camera from in front of my face before I see something that might make me feel worse than I already do. Friends. Friends. We are only friends. I repeat to myself over and over while walking back to my car. I'm not going to allow myself to be sad over him possibly dating someone. A beautiful someone.
Tonight will be fun, I tell myself firmly. Damnit, I need some fun. I deserve some fun.
I'm back in my car and on the road in a few minutes, moving a little further into La Push. I notice a high cliff and drive in that direction, thinking from that vantage point, I can probably see a lot of the reservation, or I'm hoping to at least. I drive slowly even though I'm anxious to get there. I have plenty of time to kill before sundown, when I'm supposed to be at First Beach. I park a distance away from the path that I see leads to the cliff. A little fresh air will clear my mind and help me focus.
As I make my way through the forest, I'm glad I put on my hiking boots. I see some rather large rocks I'm going to have to climb over to get to the top. I take my time over the rocks, not wanting to trip over anything. I stand and look around when I finally reach the top, it's breathtaking.
Pulling out my camera I take a few shots from different angles and perspectives, changing out my lenses here and there. After I finish, I slip my equipment back in my case and slowly lower myself to the ground. Now that I'm here I'm not in any hurry to leave. I decide to just hang out until it's time for me to meet Rachel so I can follow her to the bonfire.
I'm sitting close to the edge, my feet hanging off and bouncing around carelessly. Even from my high up perch I can hear the waves crashing below me. It's peaceful and I make a mental note to come back here when I have more time. I know if I'm late, Rachel will worry and I don't want Embry to think I'm standing him up.
Just before I pull my legs back so I can stand I feel someone place a hand on my shoulder. I turn my head just slightly to see who it is.
It's Embry and he looks terrified. His eyes are round as saucers and his mouth is pinched. I look down to his neck, his corded muscles standing out and then his chest. He's shirtless, I realize. My eyes travel down his arm, to the hand that is weighing me down. Out of the corner of my eye I see that there is more skin exposed than I thought. My eyebrows raise in surprise when I see that, not only is he shirtless, he's stark naked?
"Embry? What are you doing?" I turn my head before I allow my eyes to get any further than his waist.
"Lill-," he starts to gasp my name but cuts himself off, "Get away from the edge. What the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"
Embry's voice sounds frantic with fear. He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me so quickly and with so much strength that I feel like I'm flying through the air.
I'm standing in the middle of trees before I even realize Embry has moved me from the cliffs. He doesn't even seem winded even though he had to have been running ridiculously fast. He places me on my feet but my legs almost give out before I catch myself by grabbing his biceps.
"Are you okay?" Embry's voice is a little shaky and when I look up at him I realize he still looks panicked.
"I'm fine, Embry," I tell him, hoping to assuage his worry.
"What the hell were you doing, Lillah?" I'm too dismayed to answer his question.
"Fine, don't tell me!" he pulls away from me, moving to turn his back to me. But before he is able to give me his back, I see a tattoo on his arm and I stop him.
"Can I see this?" I point at his upper arm, not wanting to touch him and set him off again.
"What? See what?" Embry looks down to where I'm pointing and then sighs. "Can I dress first?"
"Oh, ye-yeah, sorry. I forgot- Sorry, go ahead," I ramble and turn my back to him. I can feel my face once again burning red because I've been standing here with him naked.
I hear Embry shuffling around behind me and then clear his throat.
"All done. You can turn around now."
I slowly turn to face him, wondering to myself how he could have dressed so quickly. And then I see why he was speedy. He's wearing only a pair of jeans and nothing else. No shirt or shoes. I try not to ogle him but, to be honest, that's kind of hard. Thick corded neck, beautiful collar bones, broad shoulders, muscular chest and arms and a twenty four pack of abs. My eyes trail down the smattering of hair down his stomach, leading into the waist band of his jeans.
"Geez Lillah, my eyes are up here!"
His deep voice and the sound of Embry chuckling breaks me out of the trance I'm in. I look up to him, not quite meeting his eyes. My gaze lands on his arm again and I step forward before realizing it. The ink is some sort of tribal design and it instantly fascinates me. It's also sexy.
"What does it mean?" I ask, skipping over any comments I might have made about his lack of clothing.
"It's a uh, just this thing that all of the guys have. Here I'll show you," he leans down so that I can see it better and begins to explain the symbolism behind it.
"That's pretty amazing, Embry."
"Oh. Thanks, I guess. It's just something we all did when the change happened. To bind us together or whatever," Embry shrugs as if it's all nothing.
"It's beautiful," I tell him simply, hoping he believes me.
"Do you have any tattoos?" Embry asks me abruptly, taking the focus off of himself.
"Me? Absolutely, definitely - No. I'm deathly afraid of needles. But I sometimes have this fantasy where I get brave and take the plunge," I grin when he laughs happily.
I watch the play of muscles on his chest and arm when he lifts a hand to rub the back of his neck.
"And what would you tattoo on that beautiful body of yours, if you were brave enough?"
I try to ignore his 'beautiful body' comment, though my blush returns in full force. I do my best to stay focused on the conversation at hand.
"I haven't allowed my fantasy to get that far. I'd want something meaningful though."
"Meaningful, huh? Like what? A flower? Your zodiac sign? A cute kitten?"
"No!" I laugh with him and shake my head, "Something meaningful. Something that I can look at every day and be reminded of what's important. Of what I love and what I live for."
Embry spins around quickly, taking me by surprise by stepping in front of me, his massive body completely hiding me from whatever he hears approaching. Embry lifts his hand and makes this strange sound. I peek around his raised arm and see Sam approaching us slowly. He's also clothed only in blue jeans. Must be a wolf thing.
"Should I go?" I ask, not wanting to interfere in 'official business'.
"Nah, you're good. I'm sure Sam just realized I wasn't…uh…in wolf form anymore. He probably just wants to make sure everything is okay."
Sam and Embry do some manly man handshake thing before we begin exchanging small talk. I step around Embry so I can see Sam clearly. Embry was correct in his assumption of why Sam came looking for us. Sam comments on the time and I glance up through the trees, realizing the little bit of sun we had today is starting to fade. I must have been on the cliffs longer than I thought.
"I should get to Rachel's. She's probably freaking out," I say reluctantly. I'm not really interested in leaving Embry right now. I'd like to bask in the cordial banter we had going before Sam arrived.
"Yeah, you'd better get moving, Rachel will be pissed if you're late," Sam smirks.
"Yeah, Sam's right, you should probably get going," Embry reaches up and runs his hand back and forth over his cropped hair a few times.
"I could give you guys a ride if you wanted," I cross my toes inside my shoes, hoping they agree.
"That's nice of you, Lillah but I think I'll just phase and run back home. I'm going to help Emi with the kids," Sam declines pretty quickly.
"I can't wait to see them again," I say and Sam smiles, nodding at me before doing the handshake thing with Embry and walking away.
"You want a ride? Or are you going to run too? I could race you. Me in my car, you on your...paws," I giggle at the image that idea puts in my head.
Embry gets this look on his face like he doesn't really know what to say. But he quickly recovers, shaking his head and clearing his throat.
"Yeah, that would be cool. I'd like a ride. I'll text Rachel to let her know you are with me," Embry spins around rapidly, reaching back for my hand.
We walk in silence. He seems tense again and I go over our encounter in my head. I can't figure out what I said or did to upset him. He pulls his phone from his pocket, types out a message quickly and then shoves it back in, his frustration evident.
Embry stops when we reach the small sandy lot where my car is parked, "Where's your car? Did you walk here from somewhere?"
"No, it's right in front of you," I look at him to make sure he noticed it sitting there.
"This is yours? What about that other thing you were driving last night?"
"That's my 'reliable' car. This is my baby. I don't get her out often, she lives in the garage most of the time," I tug his hand and get him moving again.
"'She'?"
"Yeah, her name is Candy, like her color, candy apple red," I giggle.
"Of course that's her name," Embry sends me a side long glance.
"Get in," I instruct and climb in, leaning across the passenger seat to unlock his door for him. "Maybe one day, if your nice to me, I'll let you drive her," I tell him when he takes a seat.
"I would love to drive her," Embry looks over at me with a devilish grin.
I roll my eyes as I start the car, clicking the lap belt around myself before pulling out onto the main road.
"I'm sorry I upset you earlier. You know, when you found me up there."
"I- I just thought that you were going to jump or fall. That I wouldn't be able to get to you in time. You shouldn't have been up there alone like that. It's dangerous. Anything could have happened. And if I hadn't shown up when I did," Embry pauses and shakes his head.
"God, I just wish you'd have let someone go with you."
"I'm sorry. I really didn't think about it being dangerous. I just kind of ended up there. It was like something was pulling me to go. I promise, if I want to see that particular view of La Push again, I'll let someone know."
"You'll let me know. Not just 'someone'."
With that command our conversation pauses for a couple of minutes, both of us lost in thought. Embry is the first to break the silence by giving me directions to the beach where the bonfire is being held.
I pull up next to a couple of other vehicles and Embry refuses to let me get out. He runs around the front end and is pulling my door open, offering me his hand. This is the second time he's opened a door for me and it surprises me just as much as it did the first. It's a sweet gesture and I catch myself before I reach up to kiss him on the cheek. That would probably be inappropriate for one friend to do to another.
Before I can argue with myself about it he leans in and brushes his lips across my cheek. His face is shaved smooth now and it feels different than it did last night. I kind of wish he'd left just a little bit of the scruff at least.
I sigh when he moves away from me, saying I should go down to the beach and he'll be there shortly.
As I walk toward the area where people are starting to gather, I see Rachel and Kim. They both wave me over and we take turns hugging when I make my way over to them. I see they are looking over my shoulder, in the direction that Embry went.
Rachel doesn't waste any time. "Funny thing - I get this text from Embry saying I don't have to wait for you. Don't get me wrong, I was okay with that. I was ready to go when he sent the text. I'm just a little curious though."
"Curious about what?" I ask even though I'm sure I'll regret it.
"How is it possible that you left my house to take pictures but you found Embry instead?"
"I did take pictures, thank you, Ms. Nosy. I was sitting on a cliff and Embry showed up."
"You were up there alone?" Kim's eyes go wide at that information.
"Not a good idea," Rachel supplies.
"Yeah, I know that now. Embry freaked out. He thought that I was going to jump," I cast them both a look of confusion. "Why would he think something like that?"
"Something happened a few years back and all of the guys are on edge about any of us being up there alone," Kim pats my arm gently. "But you didn't know so he can't exactly blame you for that."
"He made me promise not to go up there without him," I freely admit to them.
"He made you promise not to go up there without someone or without him specifically?" Rachel laughs as she says this. What is with her lately?
"Him specifically. It was weird," I tell them while I replay the conversation in my head.
"Not really. He's just being protective," Kim smiles softly at me and then gasps, causing me to glance over my shoulder.
Emily and Sam have pulled up, both waving at us from the car. The girls and I walk over to help them out with their baby and kid gear.
I speak to Emily and open the back door, unbuckling Eli's car seat and pulling him out. He's smiling at me as soon as he realizes who I am. I smile just as brightly back at the little angel.
"Hey there, handsome boy. How are you today?" I place gentle kisses all over his soft little face. Emily and I laugh when he cackles out and I pass him over to her.
Before I can move too far I'm being attacked by Claire. She comes running at me, wrapping her arms around my legs. I lean down to kiss the top of her sweet scented head and hug her tightly, "You sure do look pretty today, little lady." I tell her and she grins and mutters a shy thank you. These two are so cute I can hardly stand it.
We walk over to an area where people have started placing blankets on the beach. I help Emily and Rachel spread out a tarp, then a blanket while Kim holds Eli. Claire and Sam have wandered off together to mingle. After we finish, I stand up to stretch and look around. It's evident that this is something they do often. I feel pretty honored to have been invited. It's just a small group, some I've already met, a few I haven't. As I look around, it quickly becomes obvious to me it's just the wolves and their partners. When the realization dawns on me my eyebrows shoot up. I open my mouth, ready to comment, but stop myself just in time. I don't want to get Rachel started on match making again.
Claire comes up and tugs on my hand, trying to gain my attention. "Will you chase me Ms. Lillah? No one else will play with me," Claire pouts and I look around at all of the people, doubting she'd be told 'no' by any of them.
"I would be delighted. We should probably move away from the bonfire though," I take her hand in my mine and move us away from the area we will be sitting around. I doubt any one would appreciate sand all over their blankets. "I'll count to three and then you go, okay?"
Claire nods at me seriously. The concentration on her little face is so cute I can't help but smile. I begin counting and Claire takes off like a shot when I get to three. I run extra slow, pretending not to be able to keep up with her.
"Claire, oh my goodness, you run so fast," I pant dramatically.
"I know!" she calls back to me over her shoulder. "Quil says that even he can't catch me. And he runs real fast," Claire has paused and turned to face me, forgetting I'm not supposed to catch her.
I slow my pace even more, nearly running in place but my panting doesn't decrease in the least, "Well he sure is right. I can understand why no one else wanted to chase you. They were just scared you'd beat them."
"Yep," she shakes her head and purses her lips, "They are 'fraidy cats."
I stop and lean down to rest my hands on my knees, taking a few deep inhales that aren't needed, "Are you going to let me rest for a second?"
"NOPE!" Claire shouts and as if she finally realized she wasn't running anymore, takes off again.
This time I speed up, allowing her to stay just barely out of my reach. She's squealing and giggling wildly and it makes me laugh all the more. I reach out and scoop her up by the waist and bring us both down onto the sand where I begin to tickle her like mad.
Her laughter and pleads for me to stop only make me laugh harder. Finally I let her go because my ribs are hurting and I can't breathe anymore. Claire and I both fall flat on our backs on the sand, trying to catch our breath.
"You're so silly, Ms. Lillah," Claire finally says after she's able to speak between giggles.
I turn my head to look at her and she's looking right at me, our noses practically touching. I reach a hand up to touch a finger to the tip of her cute little button nose and laugh lightly. If my day ended right in this moment, I'd be perfectly content. I sigh and we lay there for a few more minutes before a high pitched whistle alerts us that the bonfire is about to begin.
-0-
Embry walks toward Claire and I as we are making our way over to the bonfire area. Her little hand is wrapped in mine and she's swinging our arms back and forth.
"Hey there, Claire Bear."
"Hi, Uncle Bry," Claire beams at Embry from beside me.
"Can I have a hug?"
Claire squints at him, looking like she's considering it. She looks up at me and smirks. I hold back a giggle and nod at her, "Mmm I guess so," she finally acquiesces.
Embry throws his head back and laughs, then opens his arms wide. Claire giggles then launches her little body into Embry's waiting arms.
I stand back and watch Embry as he lifts her high into the air and then brings her back down. She wraps her tiny arms around his neck and smiles broadly while giving him a smacking kiss on the lips. Watching the two of them melts me into a puddle of goo. He's so cute with her. It makes my stomach flutter a little.
Embry looks at me and it makes my mouth go dry. He is smiling so happily that it reaches his eyes and they are sparkling and bright. I've never seen him like this before. I wish I could make him this happy myself.
"You two ready to go hang out with everyone?"
"Sure," I return Embry's thousand watt smile, placing my hand in his without him prompting me to.
He smile widens more, if that is possible, and we walk slowly back to the group. Claire is squealing because Embry has flipped her over his shoulder, hanging her upside down behind his back.
"Where'd Claire go?" Embry pretends to look around for her.
Hearing this, Claire starts giggling wildly and patting Embry on his back, "I'm right here Uncle Bry!"
"Claire? I hear you but I don't see you!" Embry says and winks while looking down at me. "Have you seen Claire, Lillah?"
"No, I haven't. I wonder where she could have gone off to." I join in on Embry's game.
The three of us stop in front of a picnic table where a few couples are sitting.
"Where's Claire, Embry?" Emily asks him. It's obvious to me that this is a frequent game they play. Eli is sitting in her lap, his little hands clapping excitedly.
"I have no idea, Em, she just disappeared," Embry tells Emily seriously, his voice full of concern. This sets Claire off, giggling and lightly pounding on Embry's back again. Her hair is hanging down and it's shaking wildly because she's laughing so hard.
Jacob comes walking over and stops next to Embry, "Dude, you have some sort of growth on your back."
"Really?" Embry swings right and left, trying to crane his neck so he can see what Jacob is talking about. "What is it?"
"It's the cutest growth ever," a male voice next to me makes me jump in surprise.
"QUUUUIL," Claire squeals and he steps around behind me to grab Claire from Embry's arms.
Quil takes her and places her on the ground so she's finally able to stand up right. He begins brushing her hair out of her face so he can see her, "Look how red her face is, Embry. You shouldn't do that," he frowns.
Embry looks at me and rolls his eyes. "Come on. Sit down," he tugs my hand and pulls me to a empty spot on the bench. After I'm settled next to Emily, Embry straddles the seat sideways, sitting as close as possible to me without being inappropriate. Quil takes Claire's hand in his and walks over to Billy and Sue.
There's a small spread of food on our table. Mostly grilled meats and chips, fruit, cans of soda and bottled water along with thermoses labeled 'coffee' and 'hot chocolate'.
Sam comes walking over from the teepee shaped platform of wood they'll light at sundown, "Hey Lillah, good to see you again. How's it going?"
"Great, Sam. Thanks for having me."
"Glad you came out," Sam smiles at me then winks as Emily stands so he can sit. After Sam gets settled, he places his hands on Emily's waist and pulls her down on to his lap. Eli peeks around Emily's shoulder and grins at Sam, who starts making faces at him.
"I'm excited to be here."
Embry leans forward and places his chin on my shoulder and I lean back against his chest.
Jacob comes walking around to the other side of the table. I nearly gasp when I see he's clasping the hand of the girl I saw on the beach with Embry earlier. The same girl I saw on Embry's back in Forks on Thursday.
"Lillah, this is Renesmee. She's a friend of Jacob's," Embry's breathe tickles against my cheek when he speaks.
I straighten up and smile at her. "Hi, I'm Lillah," I reach my hand out to shake the young girl's when she leans across the table. Her hand is hot in mine, which I find a little odd considering it's getting cool outside.
"It's nice to meet you, Lillah. I'm Ness," she's even more beautiful up close than what I'd seen through the lens of my camera. She has beautiful chocolate brown eyes with long lashes, pouty gloss covered lips and beautiful high cheekbones that are blushing naturally. Her skin looks like porcelain but I see again that there is no way she's from La Push. It dawns on me when she says the shortened form of her name, this is Jacob's imprintee. My eyes move from her to Jacob, he smiles at me and I smile back, hoping to convey that I won't be blabbing his secret.
The conversations continue around me as I process what I've just learned. Embry obviously has a strong connection with all of the imprintees. But I'm surprised by my reaction to that connection. I have no reason to be jealous, and yet, I am.
Every time I see how happy he is around them, I'm jealous that it isn't me making him happy. The fact that I assumed the worst just seeing him with Ness on Thursday and today, tells me way more than it should. Embry has the potential to completely break my heart, which would crush me. The more time I spend with him, especially the happy Embry, my Wolf Charming, the more I like him.
This could be a huge problem.
-0-
A/N: In case you aren't aware, we are participating in 2 great charity efforts. First, Fics for Nashville. Tara grew up in Nashville, so this is very close to her heart. For just a $5 donation to a charity of your choice, you can get tons of great fics, including one by us. For more info check out - community [dot] livejournal [dot] com / ficsfornash / .
Second, Fandom Gives Back. Last year Fandom Gives Back raised over $87,000 thanks to the generosity of Twilight fans. We have 2 selections available for this year, a First Come First Serve of any canon wolf fic and an Auction of Losing Control, including an outtake and a peek at our Losing Control master calendar. For more info check out www [dot] thefandomgivesback [dot] com.
This chapter was getting a little long so the bonfire is going to be split into two chapters. Next up, Embry's POV. It's a good one. You won't want to miss it.
