I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us. So, baby, can we dance through an avalanche? Say that we got it, I'm a mess but I'm the mess that you wanted. Oh, 'cause its gravity, keeping you with me. ~ Taylor Swift, Dancing With Our Hands Tied

…rep…

I had been called some pretty nasty things since I started acting. Being a public figure gave everyone the idea that they could lose all niceties and call you whatever they wanted, just because they didn't like you. People I have never met have called me a horrible person with no provocation, and I've learned to deal with it. I understood that I could never please everyone, and there would be people who didn't like me.

But, it was never like this. I had never felt so hated. Genuinely hated by everybody.

I think it started with one article by a local Chicago newspaper. They, obviously, knew the most about the Cullen's reputation and didn't have to do as much digging as other news outlets. They were quick to point out all of Edward's past relationships, and how frequent they were. I was quickly labeled his newest whore, someone to keep his bed warm and his body satisfied; I was a ditzy actress who was seduced by his power and money.

I knew it wasn't true. I loved him, and he loved me. I knew that. But once you read something enough, your resolve starts to crack no matter how strong it was in the first place.

I was seduced by his power. I loved the way he could command a room. People respected him, and it showed. I also loved the way he commanded our room. Did that make me his whore? I let Edward bend me over his desk in the middle of the afternoon while his office was full of people, so maybe I was.

A lot had changed about me in the last year and a half, almost two, since I met Edward. My recklessness had skyrocketed. I never would have considered helping anyone else essentially rob a bank, but I never batted an eyelash when I did it for Edward. I was spontaneous, nearly dragging Edward out of the car at the Vanity Fair party last year. I was so morally corrupt I didn't even know where to begin.

None of those things were necessarily good character developments. They were all typically things you hoped to grow out of as you got older.

It was late; one, maybe two in the morning. I snuck out of bed once Edward was asleep and came down to my little office. Once I started looking at the articles written about us, I just had this uncontrollable need to keep looking at them. Tonight, I had found one that was titled '27 Reasons Bella Swan Should Have Never Married Edward Cullen.'

I slammed my laptop shut and rubbed my eyes. My head was killing me and my brain was overloaded with 'what ifs', and that was never good. I turned off the dim light in the office and went back up to our bedroom. I didn't get into bed, it didn't feel right after what I just read, so I got in one of the comfortable chairs in the lounge area of our bedroom. Yes, the room was so big there was a lounge area.

I sat down and covered myself in a blanket, and stared at my husband sleeping in the bed across the room from me. His perfect face and rumbled hair and chiseled chest all called out to me, but I stayed frozen in my chair. I watched his chest rise and fall with his breaths, and listened to the soft snores that left him. Eventually he rolled over, his arm reaching out as if it were looking for me, and I heard a deep sigh when he found nothing but an empty bed.

Edward sat up, looking adorably exhausted, and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He must have felt my eyes on him, because his head snapped to mine. "What are you doing?"

I averted my eyes from him the second he looked at me, and shrugged at his question. Pulling the blanket tighter around myself, I curled up in an even smaller ball in the large chair.

Edward walked over, clad only in a pair of boxers, and kneeled on the floor in front of me. The room was dark, nearly pitch black, but I could just make out his features in the dim light. He put his hands on my knees and for the first time, maybe ever, I flinched at his touch.

"What's wrong?" His eyes are on me; I could feel them, but I couldn't look at them. Edward's hand reached up to pull my attention to him, but I squeezed my eyes shut. "Bella. Look at me."

My eyes popped open and my heart broke all at once.

"What's wrong?"

My voice was small when I answered, weak. "Am I your whore?"

"Bella," I could hear the shock in his voice. I was sure that wasn't what he was expecting me to say. He didn't know I had been spending every night this week searching the internet for articles about us.

"You're a powerful man, it's one of the things I love about you. I don't care about the business power or your money, but you have a commanding personality. I like it. I like it when you use that and… take control when we're together.

"I think… I've had to be so in control of everything since I started working. I like that I don't have to be like that with you. Does that make me –"

"Stop. You are never to call yourself my whore again, do you understand?" I didn't respond. "You're my wife. Our marriage is more than sex, Bella, and you know it. Where is this coming from?"

I wanted to shrug and hide myself away from him, but I knew that wouldn't solve any of our problems. I also knew Edward wouldn't let me do it. "I've been reading some things online." I admitted.

His hands cupped my face and gentle fingers pushed my hair out of my face. He looked so sad, so hurt that I would think these things. I hated my propensity to get so caught up on a thought that it ruled everything else, that it made me forget what I knew was true.

"You're my girl. I love you for a hell of a lot more than your body, as spectacular as that is."

I slump into the chair. I knew that. "I'm sorry. Sometimes I just get… lost in my mind and things get fuzzy."

Edward wrapped his arms around me and easily lifted me into his arms. "No more articles online, okay?" He settled me into bed and got in beside me, his arms clutching me to him.

I sighed and buried my head into his neck, letting the comforting scent that was just Edward envelop me. "Okay."

…rep…

This was my last free weekend for the foreseeable future. I had to go to New York next week for some meetings about the tour, and then the tour announcement on the Today Show. Then, once I got back, it was a solid month of rehearsals before two months of shows. There were only ten shows total, but there was a good amount of downtime between them sometimes. It had only been a week since Hopeless Kingdom came out, but we wanted to keep the momentum going.

Edward tried to talk himself into staying home from work today after my freak out last night, but I told him I would be fine. He would spend all weekend with me before I left, and that was more than enough. He missed too much work because of me.

It was raining, which fit my still gloomy mood after last night. I pulled on the button-down shirt Edward wore to work yesterday and went to sit at the piano in my office. I just sat there for a while, tinkering with the keys and letting odd little lyrics escape.

"Pauses, then says, 'You're my best friend.' And you knew what it was, he is in love."

"That's beautiful."

My head snaps around and I see Alice and Rosalie standing in the doorway. "What are you doing here?"

"We knocked for a long time, but you didn't answer. We wanted to apologize."

I took a good look at them. They weren't in their usual pretty dresses or fancy blouses. They had on comfortable yoga pants and t-shirts. Their hair wasn't perfectly styled, and their makeup not impeccable as usual.

"It's easy to get sucked into this life. Things are expected of us, and we forget about ever living any way else. You know how to draw a line, though. You just… you intimidated us and we didn't know how to act around you." Alice said.

Rosalie stepped up. "We didn't mean to make you feel bad about yourself. We didn't know another way to make us feel good about ourselves, as horrible as that sounds. We're sorry."

I stared at them for a minute. I didn't know if I could really trust that they would never piss me off or make me feel like shit again, but they were trying. I could try, too. "Thank you."

"We brought junk food. Lots of junk food. We thought we could spend some time together… if that's okay with you?"

We got comfortable in the movie room and put on a random romantic comedy that Alice brought. We spent most of the movie talking, though. There were no backhanded compliments or rude comments about my clothing or schedule. There was just food and laughs. It was nice.

"Was it weird? Filming about your life with Edward, but it not actually being Edward you were with?" Rosalie asked me at one point.

"It was weirder than it was with Badlands, because I still had Edward. But, it's also my job. It kind of just comes naturally. The worst part was the sex scenes. Bleh."

"Yeah, but Noah's hot."

I scowled at that, but it was true. Noah was attractive, and had features that were similar to Edward. That's why he got the part. "Yeah, but he's no Edward."

"I always thought Edward would be amazing in bed." Rosalie blurted out with a laugh.

"Excuse me?"

"No, no, I never would have followed through with it. But, the women in our circle talk. A few of them have, uh, been with Edward."

I didn't like that. The idea of another woman with Edward made me want to throw up.

"I'm sorry, I messed up again, didn't I?"

"No, it's okay. I can't be mad at how many women he was with before we even met."

"Yes, you can, it's a wife's right. But, I'm sure you have a string of guys devastated you're married now, too." Alice smirked, stuffing some more popcorn in her face. She was adorable when she wasn't being so condescending.

I had to laugh at that. "Not exactly."

"How many guys had you dated before? Surely every guy you ever met was dying to go out with you. You're… you."

"Um… three? I didn't date much before Edward."

"Three? But every magazine…"

"All trash. Never believe anything you read in those."

"So, who…?"

"Well, Peter and I, my friend who owns the label, we dated for a month or two. He was my first 'boyfriend.' We were much better as friends though. Nothing serious ever happened between us. Then Theo, the guy from the Clash series, we dated for about six months. He was my, uh, first. And then…" I had never really told many people about Jacob. Our relationship was very hush hush, but I knew these girls wouldn't go blabbing to a magazine. "Then there was Jacob."

"Jacob Black? He's who Badlands is about?"

I shrugged. Everything about that relationship was doomed from the start, but my naïve little brain thought it was perfect. I was so stupid, I knew that now. But, I also didn't give a crap about it anymore.

"Okay, I bet he's good in bed." Alice laughed.

"Actually… no. I don't have much experience, but compared to Edward he was just awful." Both of the girls looked at me with their mouths hanging open before they burst into a fit of giggles. "I thought he was, at the time. I didn't know better, I was just figuring out sex myself for the first time. I mean, I was only nineteen when we were together. Sex made me shy and uncomfortable, but I knew he wanted it. I got more into it eventually, but I started to like the idea, the fantasy, more than the actual act. That's not the case with Edward."

"I knew it. I knew he would be good!" Rosalie laughed. "Well, you definitely seem to have come into your own now."

We spent the afternoon watching movies and talking about boys. It was the most normal afternoon with friends I had ever had, I think. Alice mentioned in passing that Edward had a thing for snickerdoodles and I asked her and Rosalie to teach me how to make them. They made a batch with me and showed me how, and then I made one myself.

While I was focusing solely on cookies, they wandered into my office, and I could vaguely hear them talking about the awards hanging everywhere. Just as I was pulling out a tray of cookies from the oven, I heard the front door close.

"Bella?" Edward shouted. He sounded nervous, but I couldn't blame him. I'm sure he could smell something cooking in here, and me and the kitchen didn't really mix well. His eyes looked over the various trays full of cookies as he entered the kitchen. "What is all of this?"

He immediately reached for the batch the girls and I made together. "No! Try one of these." I handed him one I just took out of the oven, and was rewarded with a deep groan as he ate it. Success!

"Do you like it?"

Edward quickly finished his cookie and lifted me on to the counter. "It's fucking delicious. You made these for me?" His smile was adorable, especially with a little bit of sugar still stuck to his lips.

I was so distracted by the lips and the eyes and the hair that my fingers were running through that I forgot to answer. I kissed him, tasting the sweet sugar on his lips but enjoying the taste of him more.

"Bella! When did you get an Emmy? I didn't know – "

Alice and Rose returned, each holding some kind of statue in their hands. They stood there and smirked at us as I pushed Edward away and slid off of the counter.

"Um, I got it for my guest role in Unknown." I wiped my mouth and tried to remember what I was doing before Edward got here.

"I told you he liked snickerdoodles." Rose laughed as she looked over at Edward with a cookie in each hand.

He eyed me for a moment, and it was like we had a silent conversation. He wanted to know if I was okay with Alice and Rose being here, so I gave him a small nod.

The girls left not long after that. I thoroughly enjoyed our day we spent together. All of the grudges and animosity were gone, and we could just be friends. I didn't have many genuine friends; I was glad I could potentially have a few new ones in Alice and Rose.

Edward pressed me against the door the moment they were gone. "Are you sure you're okay?" His forehead rested against mine and his hands wrapped around my waist.

I sighed and leaned into him. "Yeah, I'm good."

…rep…

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Seriously? These fuckers.

I was in a meeting with various people from Pacific. They were a large credit card company and had approached me about a partnership and a tour sponsorship. I readily agreed, and the main reason I was in New York this week was to sign on the dotted line.

Except, now they were backing out.

"Ms. Swan –"

"It's Mrs. Cullen," I corrected the man across from me. If they were going to play games like this, I was done with the pleasantries.

He cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable, and continued. "Mrs. Cullen. We don't feel that we are a good fit for your image anymore. We're withdrawing our sponsorship and partnership agreement."

They didn't like my husband. That was all it was. They were scared of him and that was it. I had discovered that people were either dying to work with Edward Cullen, or they were petrified of the thought of him. The people at Pacific seem to be in the latter group, unfortunately for me.

"Fuckers," I muttered under my breath. I stood to leave, and my lawyer and Kate followed closely behind.

Flashes erupted around me as I left the building, and vulgar heckles surrounded me.

"Give us a sexy smile, Bella!"

"Bella, what's it like fucking a murderer?"

Ben wrapped an arm around me and did his best to shield me from the photos, but I could still hear everything. I could still hear the shouts as we got into the car. Once we were on the road I pulled my phone out to text Edward.

Tour is off. Coming home this afternoon.

His response was immediate.

What happened?

Sponsors pulled out.

I rested my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. Just a few hours and I would be back home.

It was late afternoon when the plane landed in Chicago, and when I turned my phone back on I had a message from Edward telling me to meet him at his office when I got back. That was fine with me, because I had a rant building up inside me the whole flight, and I needed to get it out.

Unlike the swarm that followed me in New York, there were only two photographers waiting outside of Edward's office. I gave them each a small smile as I passed.

I ignored everyone I passed on my way to Edward's office; the receptionist and his secretary tried to talk to me as I strolled by, but I didn't have time for them.

"Those fucking cowards." I growled once I had the door closed behind me. Edward sat back in his chair and rested his clasped hands on his stomach. He gave me a nod, giving me the go ahead to continue on my rant.

"We had the whole goddamn contract written up and everything. Money had been allocated, people hired, the whole deal. Then they decide they don't like my image anymore?" I threw my purse on an empty chair and started pacing back and forth. "I've given the public… everything. They know everything about me. I let them in and they're fucking me over now."

I plopped myself in the chair across from Edward and laid my head back. I was suddenly exhausted from everything. The meetings, the flight, and the fuming.

"You're too nice."

My eyes popped open and I stared at my husband. "Excuse me?"

"You're too giving to the public. You're right, they have fucked you over. So, maybe it's time to fuck them. Figuratively speaking, of course."

"I don't understand."

"E.C. Inc. would like to sponsor the Hopeless Kingdom Tour. You can do whatever you want, but I would like to make one suggestion."

The second the words left his mouth I shook my head. No. I wouldn't let him do that. He didn't give me a chance to protest, though.

"Get exclusive. Do how many shows you want, not how many you think the public wants. You can do small venues or go for a fucking stadium. Do things your way, not theirs."

"Edward, you can't – "
"Oh, I can. Come with me." Edward helped me out of the chair and tugged me toward the door. His hand rested on my waist as he led me through the office. Nearly every eye in the place was focused on us. We got to another door and Edward held it open for me.

It was a conference room, filled with people, mostly men, sitting at a long table. Everyone stood when we walked in. Edward nudged me toward the end of the table, and pulled out the chair for me. I sat, because I didn't know what else I could do, and Edward placed a folder I didn't know he had in front of me. What is happening?

Edward went to sit at the other end of the table, completely opposite of me. "Isabella, this is the board of E.C. Inc. We're here to discuss the terms of our sponsorship contract."

…rep…

It took me a week to sign the contract Edward had written up. I needed to think. Plan and strategize. I didn't know what I wanted to happen now. The only thing I knew for certain was that I was cutting back. Cutting back on press and appearances, and cutting back on all interaction with people regarding my career.

After spending hours on the phone with Heidi and Claire and my tour manager, and about a million other people, we had a plan.

Ten shows. All stadiums. Nothing else.

Once this tour was done, I was too. At least for a while. But, until then, I was going to work my ass off and pray that I could actually sell out a stadium.

A month after that disastrous meeting I was heading back to New York to announce the tour. I was awake at an ungodly hour and was sitting in my chair, waiting patiently for the commercial break to be over so my segment could begin.

Just seconds before we went live, I saw Kate trying to get my attention. It was hard to see her past all of the lights and the crew, but I could just make out mild panic on her face. That can't be good.

"We're back with three-time Academy Award winner Isabella Cullen. Isabella, we know you've got an announcement for us, but we'd like to talk to you about a story that just broke first. An interview was just released with a woman, Tanya Denali. She claims to have dated your husband for a period of time three years ago. She described him as demanding and volatile. What do you think about that?"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Nothing could go right these days. "That's definitely not what I'm here to discuss." I said as politely as I could.

"I understand. But apparently a few women have come forward about stories regarding your husband. One woman described him as "very demeaning, emotionally and sexually.' You've always been an advocate for equality, especially for women."

"Jesus," I muttered under my breath. "I'm not here to discuss my husband." I ignore the interviewer as she opens her mouth to keep asking rude and intrusive questions. I look at the camera with a smile and keep talking. "I'm here to announce a ten-show stadium tour across the country. These will be the only shows supporting my Hopeless Kingdom album. You'll be able to find a full list of dates and sale times online." A man right behind the camera starts counting down. "It'll be the last time you all see me for a while, so I hope to see you all there."

The camera shut off and someone announced a commercial break. I look to the woman across from me. "Ambush me again and I won't be so nice about it."

I got up and started pulling all of the mic strings off of me. I tossed the pack on the floor and stormed past Kate. "We need to get the fuck out of here."

I didn't speak to anyone. I didn't talk to Kate in the car on the way to the airport, and I didn't text Edward that I was on my way home like I usually would.

I read the articles on the plane. There were four women, all who had dated Edward in the past. They talked about their relationship with him, and discussed where their relationships went wrong. One even said she were worried about me because she thought Edward was probably manipulating me.

I wanted to strangle them.

I was scrolling through Twitter when I decided I had enough. I typed out what needed to be said, sent it, and deleted the app from my phone.

I've spent five years letting you all into every aspect of my life. I have given you everything I had since the moment I started my career. But, this is where my openness ends.

You know why. You know what you've done.

I was exhausted by the time I got home. It was only late afternoon, but all I wanted was to curl up in bed and sleep for the next month. Heidi tried to call me about ten times, and Edward double that. I just didn't have the energy to deal with any of it.

After a quick shower, I pulled on one of Edward's shirts and curled up in bed. Just as I got comfortable I heard the door slam downstairs. I heard his steps as he wandered through the house looking for me. My eyes closed and I evened out my breathing.

After a few moments I felt one of his hands gently run through my hair, but I did my best to stay still. I needed time to sort out my own thoughts before I talked to him.

Soft lips pressed lightly to my forehead. "I'll be in my office."

Damn. He knew I was faking.

I drifted off to sleep eventually. It wasn't a restful sleep by any means, it was filled with visions of Edward and countless beautiful women. Words and scenarios from the articles I read earlier flashed through my mind and I hated every second of it.

It was irrational, I knew that. I couldn't be mad at Edward for having a past, but I could be mad at those women for looking for five minutes of fame by talking about my husband. I doubted anything they said was an outright lie though.

Edward was never demeaning toward me, emotionally or sexually, but he was demanding. He liked it rough sometimes, but I did too. I just needed to forget about this whole situation.

My focus needed to be on these ten shows that could very well be my last, and that was it. The public's opinion on me was no longer my concern. I was going to do what I wanted and if they liked it, great, if not, that was fine.

I sat up with a sigh and stumbled out of bed toward Edward's office. I shouldn't have ignored him when he got home.

He was in his office, as he said he would be, but he wasn't working. He was just sitting there, and I could tell he had been fuming.

"Hi," I whispered as I walked in. I ignored the chair opposite of him and opted for his lap instead. I straddled his legs and wrapped my arms around his neck, playing with the short hairs there that I could reach.

I knew he was about to apologize, but I cut him off with a kiss before he could. This wasn't his fault. Those women did what they did because they wanted attention. I couldn't blame them for being disappointed they no longer had Edward, I would be devastated if I ever lost him.

My lips were harsh against his. I needed him to make me forget all of the shit we've had to deal with lately. It seemed like every few weeks something new went wrong, and I was tired of it.

Once Edward got the hint his hands cupped my ass and squeezed, crushing me into his growing erection. He pulled his lips from mine, but I just moved on to his neck. "We should talk about… fuck."

My hips started a steady rhythm over his. "I'm done." I told him, my words muffled against his neck. "I'm done making everyone else happy. I don't care anymore." I moved over to the other side of his neck, because it deserved some attention, too. "After these ten shows I'm coming back here. I just need time to be me, to be with you."

Edward pulled me away from his neck and held my head in his hands so I couldn't distract him. "You're okay?"

I smirked. "Yeah. Fuck them. Now, if you wouldn't mind fucking me…"

In a matter of seconds Edward was standing with my legs wrapped around him, walking down the hall toward our room. Our lips duel on the short walk, his tongue sliding with mine in the most amazing dance.

Edward set me on my feet at the foot of the bed. I switched our positions, so he was closer to the bed, and pushed him backward. I couldn't have moved him if he didn't want to be moved, but he fell backward with a smirk. He let out a string of curses as I dropped my panties from underneath my t shirt and climbed into his lap.

I got the shirt he was wearing out of the way quickly and took my time kissing, licking, and enjoying the feeling of his skin under my hands. Simply put, Edward was built. He had those perfect abs that looked so good you thought they were airbrushed. The muscles on his arms bulged out, but they weren't so big he looked too bulky. I never felt safer than when they were wrapped around me.

I spent the most time kissing the new script that was inked over his heart on his left pec. Our wedding date. I turned into a blubbering mess when he showed it to me, and it was now my favorite part of him to kiss.

Edward took advantage of my distraction and slid a hand under me. An odd squeak escaped me when he started rubbing gentle circles against my clit. I pulled his hand away, a bit begrudgingly. "Don't distract me."

I shimmied Edward out of his sweatpants and threw them to the side. When I situated myself back in his lap, his hard cock sandwiched between his abdomen and me, he finally lost it.

"Either get to riding my cock, or let me take over." Edward's voice was rough and ragged. His hands gripped my hips and rocked me over his cock, coating it in the wetness that had gathered between my legs.

I pulled his hands from my hips and pressed them into the mattress. Gripping the heavy weight of his cock in one hand, I sank down onto him, eliciting a delicious groan from Edward.

I gripped his shoulders for support and started rocking my hips with his. Edward's hands gripped my hips and helped guide my movements. My nails dug into the flesh of his shoulders. I looked down at the man underneath me and I suddenly couldn't get close enough to him.

I wrapped my arms around him and nestled my head into his neck. My lips attached to the soft skin there, and Edward's arms wrapped around me and rolled us both over. I groaned at the weight of him pressing me deeper into the mattress.

Edward wrapped both of my legs tightly around his waist and began pounding into me. Every thrust of his hips, every slap of skin made me groan or moan or scream. Everything was too good; his breath surrounded me every time he huffed out a jagged breath and his skin slid easily against mine as our bodies worked up a sweat.

"You're fucking perfect," Edward mumbled against my lips. His teeth came out to nibble on my bottom lip. "I can never get enough of you." He kissed down my neck and attached his lips to my breasts, showing each one equal attention. "There's nothing better than feeling you come around my cock." He grunted out, his thrusts becoming more erratic.

My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him as close to me as possible. My right hand started to shake, leftover nerve damage from the shooting made it do that sometimes. Edward felt the tremors against his neck and grabbed my hand in his. He kept our intertwined hands between us, holding it against his chest.

Edward's hands got harsher and his thrusts harder. His name left my mouth in a scream as my entire body started to spasm around him. I felt him come in long spurts inside of me.

"I love feeling you come inside me." I mumbled, not really even sure what was coming out of my mouth. Sometimes my thoughts slipped out due to my Edward-induced-haze.

"There's that dirty talk," Edward chuckled. "Always late to the game, but always sexy." He kissed me quickly and rolled us over again so I was lying on his chest.

"I'm not good with the dirty talk like you." I whispered. I could hardly even talk about dirty talk.

A contented sigh left Edward as his hands rested lightly on my waist and his eyes closed. "We'll have to keep working on it."

We gave ourselves a few more minutes to catch our breath and then Edward carried me to the shower. His hands were feather light as they washed over every inch of my skin, and I returned the favor.

We ended up in bed again, but indulged in nothing more than light touches and chaste kisses as we talked. We steered clear of the topic of the women coming forward about Edward, and talked more about my newfound outlook on life.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes. I feel… free. I've been so bogged down by wanting to make everyone else happy that I wasn't happy. But I don't have all of that guilt now." I looked over at the clock behind Edward and saw it was still relatively early, only about nine. "Let's go out."

Edward's brows shot up. "Out?"

"Yeah. Take me on a date. We could go to a late dinner or to a bar… anywhere."

We ended up going to a small Irish pub downtown. Jasper owned it so we had a nice reserved table in the back corner. We sat and drank and laughed. It felt good to be out with Edward, it felt good not to care what people were thinking about as they stared at us.

It felt good to be free.

…rep…

"Who are you, and what have you done with my best friend. Bella Cullen, have you seen her?" Kate asked as she came up to me after rehearsal. We just had about a week left of rehearsals before the first show, and I was feeling good about the whole thing.

Everything was falling into place and I was happy. Truly, blissfully happy. It wasn't a mood Kate was used to seeing on me.

"I've missed you," I told her, wrapping my arms tightly around her. We were back in work mode, so Kate came up to Chicago the last week before the tour started. I was happy about my decision to take an extended break from work, but that also meant I wouldn't be needing Kate as much. She would be fine, financially, I knew. I paid her well and she and Garrett were moving in together once her lease was up. She would be well taken care of, but I would miss her constant companionship.

Kate and I talked for a while after rehearsal was over, and parted ways as she went back to her hotel to call Garrett and I headed back home. I was a mess, wearing a sports bra and a pair of cropped leggings, and I was sweaty and sore.

I expected the house to be empty, Edward wasn't due home for another hour or so, but the moment I walked in there were shouts coming from the living room.

"You should've fucking told me!" Edward shouted. His entire family was here. Carlisle was on the receiving end of Edward's wrath, and Jasper and Emmett flanked him. Alice and Rosalie sat huddled together on the sofa, and Esme stood next to her husband.

Part of me wanted to sneak upstairs and not get involved in whatever this was, but I knew that wasn't an option.

"Edward, your father has done the best he can, considering the circumstances."

"No, he fucking hasn't. He should've stepped aside before it got this bad."

I stepped forward, unsure of what else to do. Alice and Rosalie shook their heads at me, but I ignored them and gently grabbed Edward's hand. "What's wrong?"

Edward's head snapped toward me. His eyes were harsh, but I knew it wasn't because of me. They softened as he looked at me until he looked so sad I could hardly stand it.

"What is it?"

Edward's fury was back as he looked at his father again. "Are you going to tell her about how your fuck up nearly killed her, or should I?"

Carlisle looked sufficiently rebuked, but equally annoyed. "We don't have time for this, Edward."

"We're making time!" Edward bellowed.

I had never seen him this mad. He was practically shaking with rage. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew I needed to diffuse the situation before things got too out of hand. "Edward, it's fine. Whatever it is –"

"Carlisle has a brain tumor." Shit. That was definitely not what I expected. I looked over at Carlisle and Esme, and she nodded her head sadly. If we were having this big of an argument about it, maybe it wasn't too serious. Maybe there were treatment options.

My brows furrowed. I didn't understand what that had to do with me.

"It's pressed right up against the part of his brain that controls his emotions. It's been why he's acted like an even bigger dick than usual the last few years. It's why he tried to push us toward the Volturi's so much. It's why he hated you so fucking much he paid off James to go to Aro and tell him about you."

"He didn't know what he was doing, Edward!" Esme shouted at him.

"She can't have kids! She's got scars covering her body and she'll have tremors in her arm for the rest of her life! He knew. He knew he was out of control and he should've had me take over before he nearly got my wife killed. Jesus, you were so unstable you pointed a gun at her fucking head." Edward violently pushed his hands through his hair. He was losing it, but I was frozen in my spot. I couldn't think, couldn't move.

"After this, I want you gone. I don't care where you're getting the treatment, just get the fuck out of this city."

Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room, toward the stairs. The door slammed behind us, shaking nearly the whole house. He didn't look at me, he paced the room and shoved things out of his way as he went. A chair was flipped over and a lamp shattered on the floor.

I sat on the edge of the bed, my mind racing. "I… I don't understand."

"That fucking… he's sick. He's going to a hospital in the northeast for treatment. They say he's got good odds. The tumor is pretty big, they think it's been there for at least two, maybe three years, but they're optimistic they should be able to remove it with the right treatment. He's been more impulsive lately, made stupid, reckless decisions. That's why.

"It's why he was always so hot and cold with you. It's what gave him the stupid fucking idea to work with Volturi. He knew about you before I ever told him about us. He paid James off to out you to Volturi. He was just sabotaging every fucking thing with no clue about what he was doing."

I stared at my hands and started nervously picking at my nails. It was an anxious habit that rarely came out anymore. I heard a loud crash and looked up to see a dresser on its side.

Edward came to kneel in front of me, his hands cupped my face and brushed away the silent tears that I didn't even know were falling. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"There's one more thing."

Fuck. "What?"

"Carlisle is leaving, stepping down because he can't be in charge anymore. I'm taking over."

He didn't have to say the words. I knew what he was taking over. The family. The business. The city, practically.

"There's a small ceremony, just with the family. You'll need to be there."

I nodded because I didn't trust my voice to not betray me.

"Is this… you've wanted this, right? It's a good thing?"

Edward waited a moment before responding. "Yes. This is what I've worked toward for a long time."

I gave him a determined nod. If this was what he wanted then I could get behind him on it. "Okay." I brushed past him and went straight for the shower.

I had to get ready.

…rep…

I was nervous. Really, really fucking nervous. Tonight, was the first show on the Hopeless Kingdom Tour and we were starting out in Chicago. Soldier Field. Sold out.

Every show had sold out actually. It was amazing. And stressful.

Edward has been unbelievably busy since he took over for Carlisle a week ago. He was hardly sleeping and only ate if I practically forced it down his throat. I hated how overworked he was becoming, but I didn't say anything about it. He told me that day he took over that he would be busy for a while. He needed to solidify his status now that he was in charge. I didn't ask for many details about what that meant, but the papers told me.

There had been an influx of murders lately, and I was pretty sure my husband was behind most of them.

I couldn't think about that, at least not right now. Ben and Eric followed closely behind Kate and I as we made our way back to my dressing room. They were constantly by my side these days. It was just a precaution, and I had to admit I liked having them near. Just in case.

Kate and I relaxed in my dressing room for a while. I needed idle chit chat to calm my nerves. This tour was different from my last. There were no meet and greets, no items to sign before the show. We were focusing solely on the music this time.

Flowers arrived for me around two, with a note from Edward.

Bella, something has come up. I will be there for the show, I promise. In case I don't get there in time to see you before-hand, good luck. Not that you need it. I love you.

I sighed and tossed the letter on the table in front of me. I brought the beautiful vase of flowers to my lap and sniffed. The flowers made me smile, but they didn't make up for the fact that Edward wasn't here. I missed him.

Alice and Rosalie showed up a little while later. They were decked out in Hopeless Kingdom merch and it made me smile. They talked with Kate and I while Chrissy got me ready.

I texted Edward an hour before the show was set to start, but I never got a response. I knew when I hadn't heard from him twenty minutes before I was set to go on he wasn't going to make it. My suspicion was confirmed when I got a text five minutes before show time.

I'm so fucking sorry.

I didn't respond, and I tried my best not to think about it during the show. It was easy to get lost, the music surrounded me and the sea of people singing the words back gave me the peace of mind I needed to put on a good show. Or, as Kate told me when I got off stage, a really fucking good show.

Ben drove me home, alone. Edward never showed, and I didn't know if he would even be home when I got there. My usual post-show high had been dulled by the disappointment of Edward not showing up, so all I wanted to do was take a shower and get in bed.

I heard Edward shouting in his office when I got in. I trudged up the stairs and saw him in his office, phone glued to his ear. He looked up at me as he listened to whoever was on the other end, his apology clear in his eyes. I gave him a sad smile and a little wave and went to take a shower.

A few minutes later strong arms wrapped around my waist as I washed my hair, and kisses were peppered along my neck. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I shrugged. I wasn't really okay with it, but I couldn't blame him for being busy. I had no clue what his jobs entailed, but I knew they were stressful.

"It's not. It won't be like this forever, I promise. Shit just… got out of control tonight."

I turned around to rinse my hair, coming face to face with Edward. "I understand."

His hand cupped my cheek as he looked down at me. "I really am sorry."

I reached up to give him a quick peck. "I know."

Edward turned his head so my quick peck turned into needy tongues slipping and sliding together. He backed me up so I hit the cool tile. "Let me make it up to you."

"You don't have to." I breathed out, but he was already trailing warm kisses down my body. He stopped at each of my breasts, and then spent time showing some attention to the tattoo on my hip, his tattoo.

I yelped a little bit when he lifted both of my thighs over his shoulders. I felt unstable at first, but his hands rested on my lower back and gave me a little more support. There was no teasing, he just dove right in between my thighs, his tongue caressing my wet skin in slow, even strokes.

It wasn't enough. "More."

"Yes, ma'am." One of his hands left my back and he quickly thrust two fingers inside me while he sucked my clit. His fingers were fast and harsh and his tongue matched their pace.

"Tell me how it feels, Bella."

"So – ah – so good," I could hardly think straight. I looked down at the bronze mop of hair between my legs and caught the sight of Edward's tongue peeking out and flicking over my flesh. His eyes, dark with lust, met mine and I lost it. I had no control while my hips sought out more of him as I fell apart around him.

Edward brought me down from my high slowly, softly lapping at my sensitive flesh before he set me back on shaky legs.

"You… you're forgiven."

…rep…

Edward made it out to three of the ten shows. He sent me flowers before each one, and always called me right before and right after if he wasn't there. I think he was still trying to make up for missing the show in Chicago, but that was long since forgiven.

The last show was at the Rose Bowl in California, and when it was done I was free. I spent a few days after it in Los Angeles, but Edward had to go right back to Chicago. I finally met the man who stole Kate's heart, and gave her my complete approval, not that she really needed it. I was happy she was happy.

I packed up a few random things I had decided I wanted with me in Chicago, since I wouldn't need to be back in Los Angeles for the foreseeable future.

Edward had a big business party tonight, so I was flying back this afternoon for it. It had something to do with the profit they made this quarter, or something like that. He used a lot of business terms when telling me about it and most of it went right over my head, but I nodded at the right parts and agreed to be there for him.

As difficult as it was, I got ready on the plane. We were supposed to take off earlier, but I got stuck in traffic on the way to the airport this afternoon. I straightened my navy blue body-con dress as I got off of the plane and into the car waiting for me.

I texted Edward that I was on my way; we had agreed to meet at the event because I was running late. I was escorted in the hotel by Ben, and he led me to the ballroom the event was taking place in.

My eyes only had to search for a few moments before I saw Edward's messy mop of copper hair. I immediately zeroed in on the blond fawning over him. I recognized her immediately from the photos that went with the articles written months ago. The one's about Edward's past girlfriends.

I walked over to them with a purpose, Edward's back was to me so he didn't know I was coming. I did see him step away from her multiple times, but she was always quick to follow. When I reached him, I hooked my arm with his and gripped his bicep. "Sorry I'm late."

I smiled up at Edward and he smirked down at me. "I'm sorry, we haven't met. I'm Bella Cullen." I held my hand out to the woman who was just fawning over my husband. She was an attention seeker, and I knew subtly letting her know I didn't recognize her would drive her crazy.

"Tanya," she scoffed, ignoring my outstretched hand.

Edward's voice was low and menacing when he spoke before taking a sip of his drink. "Don't disrespect my wife."

Tanya was quick to shake my hand after that.

I spent the rest of the night on Edward's arm. He introduced me to his colleagues, and I recognized several faces from the meeting I had with him about his company sponsoring the tour. Most of them came to the Chicago show and made polite conversation about how they enjoyed themselves.

It was a surprisingly pleasant evening. Edward and I were on our way out when his name was called. He turned, but immediately tensed. I turned as well, and saw Aro Volturi walking toward us, a young woman on his arm.

A/N: I wasn't originally going to stop this one here, but this chapter kind of got away from me. The next chapter will answer a lot of questions and I'll get it out as soon as I possibly can.

As always, thank you to everyone who reviews. I may not reply to all of them, but I read every single one and they make my day.

I would also strongly recommend listening to the songs these next few chapters are titled after, or at least taking a good look at the lyrics posted before each one. Lots of little hints in the lyrics!