Georgiana Darcy took a deep breath at the gate to Netherfield dog park to calm her nerves. It had been over a year since the attack, her wounds had healed and all that was left was a scar wrapping around her arm to remind her of how stupid and naive she'd been. Bingley nudged her arm in his impatience and she gathered her courage. She loved this goofy dog even in spite of the attack. Bingley wouldn't hurt her but she was still fighting a wave of anxiety over entering a space with a bunch of dogs she'd never met. The anxiety over William's love life didn't help the matter.
She had, of course, noted William's odd behavior for months. He'd always been reserved but Georgiana remembered him laughing and playing with her when she was little. When their parents died it was like her brother withdrew into himself. While she had in time begun to heal from her grief and return to life, William only seemed to hide more under a mask. His smiles became an endangered species that then went extinct following the attack and everything that happened with George. It killed Georgiana to know that her own foolish actions had sapped away the last of his joy. She'd been cautiously optimistic last summer when William's mood suddenly began to improve. For a couple of months he seemed almost happy, he'd loosened up, she'd even found him wearing jeans occasionally. He never told her what caused the change, but the way he said 'dog park' with a dreamy smile made her think he'd either found the portal to Narnia or fallen in love. Then just as suddenly his mood had shifted again to agitated and gloomy. She'd still occasionally find him smiling softly but more often than not it would morph into a scowl.
She'd thought it couldn't get worse until he'd come home from Aunt Catherine's function on Sunday devastated. He wouldn't tell her anything, just shut himself in his study with a bottle of scotch. He'd called into work on Monday and 'telecommuted' on Tuesday. He'd barely said ten words to her in days when Aunt Catherine descended on their house yesterday afternoon in a rage bellowing about the upstart harpy Elizabeth Bennet who was destroying William's future. Her intention was obviously to convince William to stay away from the girl, but her rant seemed to have the opposite effect. Her brother's energy seemed to rise as their aunt talked and he eventually shouted their aunt out of their house.
After that scene, Georgiana finally cornered William and made him tell her the whole story. She had tried to convince him to go talk to Elizabeth himself but even though their aunt's account of her meeting with Elizabeth gave him some chance to hope, he couldn't get past the fact that she'd told him to leave her alone just days before. Georgiana, however, had no such restrictions and William had informed her where Elizabeth would be on a Wednesday afternoon so here she was. At the very least she could apologize for her aunt's behavior and see if William's letter had made any difference. With a final sigh, she hesitantly opened the gate. Bingley raced in and immediately approached an adorable cocker spaniel who perked up at the sight of him.
Elizabeth was, admittedly, somewhat distracted today as she mechanically threw balls for the dogs. She'd been unable to shake the memories of her arguments with either Darcy or his aunt. So when a golden retriever who looked just like Bingley bounded up to Jane she thought that she might just be losing her mind. She looked around but there was no Darcy in sight and Jane hadn't pointed at the sound of his car like she usually did.
"Excuse me, are you Elizabeth Bennet?" Elizabeth turned around to find a girl about her height adressing her. She had lighter hair but stared at her with Darcy's eyes and Elizabeth's confusion lifted.
"Yes, that's me. Are you Georgiana Darcy?"
The girl nodded her head and looked nervously at the dogs around her before turning back to address her, "I understand my aunt visited you yesterday."
Elizabeth let out a weary sigh, "yes. If you're here to warn me away from your brother too you really don't need to bother."
The girl's shoulders slumped, "so there's really no chance then?"
Elizabeth realized that she'd misread Georgiana's purpose but she couldn't give her the answer she wanted any more than she could have to Catherine DeBurgh. "I'm not sure what all you've heard, but some bridges just can't be rebuilt. Anyway, I really think you all should just leave Darcy in peace to live his own life."
"Of course. I ... I just wanted to apologize for my aunt's behavior. If she said even half of what she ranted to us about to your face ... I'm sorry and I just thought you should know that not all of our family share her opinions. Especially not my brother."
"I don't know ... while he wasn't as angry or vindictive as your aunt, your brother indicated some similar thoughts about my station in life as well. I don't know how a relationship could ever work if one member thinks they're better than the other."
"He may have said something that sounded vaguely similar, but when he's flustered things just come out wrong and he speaks without thinking. He's been shut up in his study for four days with a bottle of scotch moping about losing his only chance. Aunt Catherine left behind a picture of the two of you from the ball and William has already has it framed on his desk – he replaced a photo of Aunt Catherine and him at his graduation."
Elizabeth cringed, "contrary to what you may have heard about my cruelty, I didn't want to hurt him. I don't want him to be in pain, but I also don't see how a relationship could possibly work out if he thinks I'm so inferior to him."
"Didn't his letter change your mind even a little?"
"Of course it did. I was obviously wrong about ..." Lizzie trailed off as she looked at the spot on Georgiana's arm that she kept subconsciously covering with her other hand even though it was covered with layers of clothing and a coat "... certain things, and I'd like to apologize for my harsh words but that doesn't mean that everything would magically work out."
"But he's no longer the 'last man in the world' you'd consider?" Georgiana asked hopefully.
Elizabeth thought it over, she didn't want to give false hope, but she wasn't entirely indifferent to his attentions either. "Perhaps not the last."
"So if he were to come back to Netherfield next Wednesday?"
"It is a public park, he is welcome to come if he chooses." Georgiana raised an eyebrow at her, indicating that she knew Elizabeth was intentionally missing the point. "Ok, yes, I'll talk to him if he comes next week, clear the air. But don't pin too much hope to this."
Georgiana gave an excited squeal and clapped her hands, prompting Lydia and Kitty to investigate. Georgiana flinched away even from the small friendly dogs and Elizabeth realized how much courage it must have taken the girl, who was clearly still nervous around dogs, to come here today. "Perhaps you should come too, get acclimated to interacting with other dogs again."
Georgiana looked down and rubbed her arm, "I know it's silly, but how can I tell which dogs I can trust?"
Elizabeth took pity on the girl and decided to start her off slow, "I hear you're fond of music, why don't we start you off with Mary. She's old, gentle, and not very active anymore, but she loves music."
William Darcy parked the car but remained frozen in place, one hand with a white knuckled grip still on the steering wheel. Georgiana had come home last Wednesday, told him he'd have to shape up if he wanted a second chance with Elizabeth, then forced him to shower and shave before she'd tell him more about her trip to Netherfield. He'd spent most of the last week trying to be better. He'd payed attention to his interactions and tried to see them through her eyes. He'd made an attempt to be nicer to people, to filter his comments, to think about the consequences of his words and the feelings of others. It was surprisingly exhausting and yet he already felt the benefits in his relationship with his employees.
Georgiana had told him that Elizabeth wanted him to come today, but he still didn't quite believe it. What if he walked in there and she still hated him as much as she had at the ball? He didn't think he could take another argument like that. "Will," Georgiana said, drawing him out of his fears, "you know Jane has probably already alerted Elizabeth that you're here. Sitting in the car won't get you anywhere." He sighed, acknowledging the truth to that and unbuckled his seat belt. As they approached the gate Georgiana slipped her hand in his and he knew that she was as nervous as he was due to lingering fears since the attack. Remembering Elizabeth's criticisms, he did his best to soothe his sister's nerves, "we don't have to be here, we could go home if there are too many dogs for you to handle." It would be painful to come this far to see Elizabeth and turn and walk away, but he didn't want to put Georgiana in an uncomfortable situation either.
"And leave Elizabeth hanging?" She tried to sound brave, but he heard the tremble in her voice. Bingley strengthened her argument with a whine and Georgiana gathered up her courage, "no. You're not using me as an excuse."
He smiled reassuringly at her, "ok, but you could go back to the car if it gets to be too much."
She smiled gratefully for a moment then pushed him forward, "stop stalling," and together they faced their fears.
Pushing through the gate he was struck with a sense of familiarity tinged with change. The green grass and lush trees he'd left in August were now brown and barren. Elizabeth was there, running around with the dogs. Her tee shirt and leggings were replaced with jeans and a puffy winter coat. Her curls peeked out from a knit cap with two pompoms at the top and her matching scarf hung loosely from her neck. Her cheeks were ruddy in the cold air and her smile felt like coming home. That smile faltered somewhat when she saw him approach, but she met him part way.
"Hello Elizabeth." Now that she'd dismantled his world he felt all the more awkward and formal and out of place in hers.
"Darcy, it's ... nice to see you," it sounded forced and he doubted her sincerity.
"Is it? Georgiana said ... but I wasn't sure ..."
"No, it's good, we should talk," Elizabeth said somewhat uncomfortably.
Georgiana looked between the two for a moment, squeezed his hand reassuringly, and said, "I'll just be over there." She then joined Mary under a tree .
"That's progress," he said, watching his sister pet the dog tentatively.
"Yeah, it took some work last week, but Mary's content to just lie there and cuddle, she's safe."
They fell silent for several minutes while he tried to gather the courage to apologize, to explain, to say ... anything to improve their situation. He'd just started with "Elizabeth ..." at the same moment she said his name. "Please, go ahead ..." he urged.
"Look, we could both apologize for our behavior at the ball, get lost in explanations that just end up opening old wounds and insulting each other again. Or ... could we just start over? Hang out at the dog park, talk about silly topics, pretend that we don't have so much baggage between us?"
William took a moment to consider. He couldn't forget how terribly he'd spoken to her, or her reproofs, how else would he change his own behavior? He also knew that one of those things she wanted to ignore was the fact that he loved her. He knew that he couldn't just stop loving her, but he could be patient, give her time to catch up without prejudice clouding her judgment. "I'd like that," he said.
For the next month they met weekly at the dog park. Every week Elizabeth watched him walk through those gates at exactly 4:00 with a smile and an adoring gaze. Sometimes Georgiana came with him, sometimes she was was 'busy' – though Elizabeth suspected she just wanted to give them some time alone.
Elizabeth could tell that Darcy was making a greater effort to talk to the other people at the park as well as her, though he did so with effort. She was beginning to believe that he was, like his sister, rather shy. With Georgiana's soft speech, averted gaze, and gentle blushes it was easy to detect. However, she soon realized that Darcy's commanding tone and avoidance of people outside of his own 'circle' were just ways to ease his social anxieties. It made her feel special that both of the reticent Darcys now seemed comparatively comfortable in her presence.
They bantered, they had lighthearted arguments about books or movies, or which direction the toilet paper should hang. Elizabeth had really come to admire his debating skills and she found immense satisfaction in shifting her own arguments to counter his. They told each other about their days and stories about their childhoods. They talked about everything ... everything but the elephant in the room. He loved her and she still didn't quite know what she felt for him.
One day near the end of March Georgiana came alone. Elizabeth wasn't surprised at his absence, Darcy had told her he had to meet a potential client who was only flying in for the day and wouldn't make it this week. It seemed silly to admit, even to herself, that she felt a pang of disappointment at his absence.
"Hey!" Georgiana greeted as she flopped down next to Mary.
"Hi!" Elizabeth called back as she disentangled herself from the group of dogs and joined her beneath the tree, Jane and Bingley joined them while Lydia and Kitty continued the game of tug of war between themselves (Lydia was trying to steal Kitty's favorite toy again).
"William has been moping around all week," Georgiana said and rolled her eyes, "you'd swear from his expression that he was donating a kidney rather than just missing a week at the park."
"Well, it is important to keep up a routine," Elizabeth laughed, trying to ignore the implications that missing a week of her company sent him into a mood suggested.
"It's his birthday this weekend and we're having a little party at Pemberley on Friday, will you please do us all a favor and come? He hates parties and being the center of attention to begin with and apparently he needs his weekly dose of banter in order to function."
"Well, I suppose I can manage it if it would save the guests from his grumpy glare."
"Thank God! That smile of yours is a public service."
Elizabeth tried for her usual lightness through the rest of their conversation but was somewhat unsure of herself. This would be the first time they'd seen each other outside of the park since the ball. They'd reached a good balance here, but she didn't know how it would transfer into the real world. Into his world.
