Okay, people! This is it! The last chapter of the Swap Island Arc and the first chapter of the Whiskey Peak Arc! If you can even call it an arc. I mean, it's only like, three episodes I think. Meh. Whatever. Say, did any of you notice that I rewrote the descriptions of both this book and the first? Anyway, here are my replies to the reviews on the previous chapter:
DarkLord98: Technically, I guess he/she could, but then again who would want to summon that bike-riding moron? lol
guisniperman: I know, I felt kinda bad for just stealing from Bleach like that. :P But hey, it's an awesome series, and I just wanted to incorporate some of that. But arigatou. I know how much people hate Mary Sues/Gary Stus so I try not to do that too much. XD
SugoiAuthorToBe: Nah, that'd just get annoying after a while. Sometimes he'll pass out, sometimes he won't. Depends on my mood at the time. And ah, you made a really good point! Yes, she'll be pretty much screwed in Alabasta until River Base or whatever Crocodile's hideout is called, and she'll also be screwed on Drum Island, as well as every other winter island. The reason for THAT is because water slows down in cold temps, and due to his/her heritage, Damon/Diamond will get weaker and weaker the colder it gets. I'm thinking for Alabasta, she's just gonna have to lug around a huge barrel of water and constantly sip from it. Poor Diamond. Not really. XD And yeah, that straw-pulling thing really defined the arc. The others didn't want to get cursed, and Damon just has bad luck. lol!
Chapter 9 start!
Lady Konton Defeated!
Arriving at the Town That Welcomes Pirates!
Previously on One Piece Full Blast:
I jumped mid-run and flew through the air on a collision course with an unsuspecting and very confused Konton. My feet slammed into her face, effectively slowing me down but also throwing her back at least twenty meters, where she crashed into the nearest wall. She got out of the wreckage, body shaking, and I grinned. I readied myself for another blow, then disappeared and danced around the room, building up water vapor in my blade and recalling the feeling from when we first arrived at this castle. When I was done, I flashed forward right to Konton, shouting, "TEMPEST GETSUGA TENSHO!"
As the blue beam of razor-sharp water was flung toward her, my opponent's eyes widened in horror. She tried to block with the scythe, but it was no use. The attack bit through the handle and broke it clean in two, carrying on to her.
The last thing I saw before I became unconscious for the third time that day was the look of utter terror in her eyes.
It felt like only a second before I woke up again, and I saw that I was back in Doctor Konoha's office, on the same gurney. I felt a major sense of deja vu, but given the fact that I'd experienced this exact same thing before, that was understandable.
"Ah, Diamond-chan~!" cooed Sanji. When I opened my eyes and rubbed them, I saw him hovering over me with heart-shaped eyes, holding a bowl of steaming stew. "You're awake at last! Please partake of my soup of love! It was cold, but I warmed it up for you~!"
"Arigatou, Sanji," I said, accepting the meal gratefully. Then I tic-pulsed. "By the way, do not dote on me ever again. I may be a girl right now, but I'm still a guy on the inside, dammit!"
"There's no need to be that way, my beautiful Diamond-chan~!"
Zoro snorted. "Baka ero-cook."
"Eh? What was that, Marimo?! Do you wanna fight?"
"Bring it, bastard. I can kick your ass any day."
"NO FIGHTING!" Nami roared, bopping them on the head. They dropped to the floor, sporting two knots each. Zoro was grumbling about her needing anger management, while Sanji was adoring her fiery temper.
I sweatdropped. "Typical day with the Straw Hats, ne?" I sipped the stew, looking around the office. Lucy was inhaling a bowl of stew the size of Shanks's booze cup and Usopp was telling lies to her. I blinked. "Oi, where's the ossan?"
"You mean Doctor Konoha?" Usopp spoke up. I nodded. "He's dead. He said something about the curse being broken, and then he just... dissolved."
"Dissolved?"
"For once, Usopp's telling the truth," Zoro agreed, much to the liar's chagrin. "It was weird."
"A, so desu ka." I decided not to delve too much further into that subject. One of the reasons I was trapped in that alleyway about four weeks ago and forced into this world was because I didn't like horror movies, and even the mention of people dying is enough to make me queasy. Watching One Piece was alright for me because I knew no one was actually dying; Luffy would rather make his enemies suffer by beating them to an inch of death and then leaving them alive to see their dreams shattered and broken, strange seeing as he's a dreamer himself... or since I have a female Luffy as my captain, is it herself? Let's go with both.
Lucy finished off her bowl and dropped it on the table with a thud. "Diamond-chan, you were awesome back there!" she cheered excitedly, eyes lighting up. She turned to Usopp, grinning widely. "Did you know her sword can change forms and shoot water? It's sugoi!"
"Hontou?" Usopp gasped, his eyes widening as he looked at me in surprise. "It can!? Show me!"
I sighed tiredly and shrugged. "Hai, it can, but I'm not sure if I can pull it off right now. I'm tired."
"Phooey."
"Cry me a river."
Zoro stretched and strapped his swords to his side. "Come on, minna. Let's go. The carpenter said our ship was done."
I raised my eyebrow. "When?"
"About an hour after you left the second time," Sanji replied, stuffing his now-cooled off pan in his pants.
"Oh..."
"Yosha," Nami said, uncharacteristically cheerful. Then her eyes turned to belli signs, and I had an inkling of a feeling I knew what she was happy about. "Let's go already! I finished my map of this island, plus I took all the money from their homes, as well as some really cute dresses I want to try on Diamond..."
I hung my head in depression. "Dresses... I have to wear bras and dresses and panties..."
Usopp patted me on the back solemnly. "Gomen, Damon - - er, Diamond-chan. It must be really tough, having your masculinity stomped on like that."
"Arigatou, Usopp," I sniffed. "At least you actually care."
Lucy tilted her head. "Care about what?"
"YOU DUMBASS! CLEARLY I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A GUY AND I HAVE TO WEAR GIRL'S CLOTHES!"
"But you're a girl."
"WE ALREADY EXPLAINED THIS TO YOU!"
Nami and Usopp sweatdropped, Zoro burst into laughter, and Sanji just swooned at the angry expression on my face. Yep, this life of mine is officially insane.
The ocean was calm and clear, as if we were back on the East Blue and had never experienced the crazy storm that had shipwrecked us on Swap Island. The Log Pose hadn't been given enough time to record the island's magnetic field, so it was still locked on to the next island in line - - Whiskey Peak. Well, actually I wasn't sure if that was the name of the island, but it was definitely at least the name of the town.
"Say, why are you two here, anyway?" asked Zoro, raising an eyebrow and pointing at Mr. 9 and Vivi.
"SO SLOW!" they gasped, looking awed at just how slow he could be. I mean, seriously, they'd been here for three days at least!
"We're taking them to their hometown," Lucy replied casually, reclining on her special seat. "The place is called Whiskey Peak."
"You mean we're giving them a lift? It's not like we owe them anything. They didn't even help fix the ship."
"Neither did we," I pointed out. "We let that carpenter dude do it himself."
"Hai," Miss Moron agreed. "We owe 'em nothing."
He shrugged. "Well, not like I care." Then why did you ask...? He knelt down and sneered at the two in question, who were sitting side-by-side. They scooted away nervously. "Those look like faces that have nasty ideas..." he mused, smirking. "What were your names again?"
They leaned back. Mr. 9's face twitched... I really have to get a cure for Tourette's Syndrome. "Please call me Mr. 9, baby," he mumbled with a fixed smile.
Vivi sweated bullets. "I'm Miss Wednesday."
"Really." The swordsman put a finger to his chin. "I've been thinking about those names since I first heard them. Maybe I've heard them before, maybe I haven't... well, either way - -" He was suddenly cut off by a sharp punch on the back of the head from me, making him bend forward and smash his face against the deck. He glared at me, a fiery green aura flowing out from him. "Eh? You think you can hurt me, Spazko?"
My eye twitched, proving his feminized nickname for me. A blue fiery aura erupted around me. "Urusai! Stop picking on them, we're just returning them to their hometown and nothing else! Even if they were planning something, it wouldn't matter 'cuz we could just stop them, right?"
A few hours later, Nami called a meeting on the upper deck, gathering all us Straw Hats together, as well as the Baroque Works agents. She had a serious look on her face that drew the attentions of everyone on board. When Nami was serious, either someone was about to get beaten up big-time, or she had something important to say.
"Okay, listen up," she said sternly, making us all sit straight. She clenched her short shorts tightly. "We all have to stay on our toes. That storm we all experienced - -" she glared at Zoro and planted three firm punches on his head, making him gasp in pain and confusion before falling to the floor, "- -except for someone, who kept sleeping no matter how many times we tried to wake him up, was crazy. But I want you all to know that I won't be surprised by something like that again! I can finally grasp the fearsomeness of this ocean, and I won't let this sea defeat me again! I will navigate us through the Grand Line!"
Usopp was still uncertain and shivered, remembering that violent hurricane/blizzard/every other storm you could imagine. "Are we really... gonna be okay?"
She smirked. "We'll be fine! Something good'll come our way." She looked out to sea and grinned, pointing. "For instance, look! We were delayed a little by that misadventure, but our destination was not too far away! And now the first leg of our journey is complete! We're finally at Whiskey Peak!"
We all looked at the area she was highlighting, then gasped. Shrouded in fog, we could just see what looked like cacti the size of Laboon poking out through thin, cloudy tendrils. Lucy giggled, Sanji whooped, Usopp gasped, Zoro blinked, and I put my hands on my hips, sighing in relief. We were here! Speaking of which, we'd been seriously late because of our accident. I hoped the events in Alabasta would adjust to the change.
"Land ho!" announced Lucy.
Sanji lit a cigarette. "So, this is Whiskey Peak. Sure is a weird-looking island."
"This is the Grand Line," I said, though I was a bit awed by the sheer size of the cacti myself. "Get used to strange islands from now on."
"Check out the huge cacti!" Lucy pointed out.
As the Going Merry entered the fog surrounding the island, Mr. 9 and Vivi jumped and smoothly perched themselves on the railing. We all blinked and looked at them.
"This is our stop," the wannabe king declared.
Vivi grinned like a fake. "Thanks for the ride, baby!"
"We'll meet again, if it is destined to be!"
In unison, they said, "Bye bye, baby!"
Then they back flipped off of the ship and swam off to the shore.
Nami, Usopp, and I sweatdropped.
"There they go," said Nami monotonously.
Usopp blinked and tilted his head. "Who were those guys anyway? We never did find out."
I sighed cutely - - which is really awkward to say, but hey, my voice is high and girly now so my sighs are cute! So embarrassing... "Usopp, Usopp, Usopp," I chided, "we already know who they are. They're Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday. What you wanna know is what their occupation is, what they do."
"Who cares?" Lucy cut in, giggling and leaning forward on the figurehead. "We're here!"
We turned to the island. Sure enough, the Merry had sailed close enough that we would've been shipwrecked again if it wasn't for the fact that the ocean current was taking us directly through a river that divided the island in two. Nami gasped.
"There's a river through the island!" she noted. "Looks like we can dock there." The ginger navigator motioned toward an area off to the left. I squinted through the fog.
"Geez, this fog is so thick it makes the island kinda creepy," I said.
Usopp shivered. "You don't think there'll be monsters and stuff here, do you?"
Sanji looked bored. "Could be. This is the Grand Line."
Lucy grinned and looked at us. "If there are monsters, we'll just leave!"
"No we can't!" Nami shot back sternly. "Don't forget there's a certain amount of time we need to stay at this island."
"Why?"
I sighed. "Do you ever listen to anything, baka? The Log Pose has to take time to adapt itself to the island's magnetic field so it can take us to the next island on our path. If we try to set sail without letting it reset, we'll have no idea where we're going and could end up lost for days. We might encounter another one of those weird-ass storms like before, except this time the consequences might be that we die. Lucy, if you die that means you don't get to be Kaizokou Queen. If we set out before the Log Pose can reset, you don't get to be Kaizokou Queen. Do you understand?"
"A, so desu ka."
"Good."
"One more thing," Nami added. "The time it takes the Log Pose to reset itself is different for each island, which is why we were able to set sail before it recorded Swap Island's magnetic field. In Swap Island's case, it took about a week, but for some islands, it might take only a few seconds, or even a few months."
I nodded. "Some island's fields can't be recorded for years."
"Years!?" the others gasped.
"Nani!?" Usopp complained. "So even if we want to get off of this monster island, we might not be able to leave for DAYS because of the Log!?"
"That's right," Nami and I said in unison.
Lucy giggled. "Well, if that happens, we'll worry about it then. Let's just go!"
"Lucy's right," Zoro agreed. "Let's go. Just thinking about it isn't gonna get us anywhere."
"And no matter what happens, I'll protect Nami-san, Lucy-chan, and Diamond-chan!" Sanji added.
I glared at him, "Urusai, ero-cook! I don't need your dumbass protection! I can take care of myself just fine, thank you very much! But yeah, we just gotta go. Haven't you ever heard the saying, 'No pain, no gain,' Usopp?"
The sniper cried anime tears. "The pain part is what's got me worried..." He clutched his throat and made annoying, high-pitched retching sounds. "Hey, minna, listen, I think I've contracted a serious case of I-can't-get-on-this-island disease..."
"Yosha!" Nami said. "I've already decided. We're going! But remember, be prepared to run or fight at any time."
"S-So that means you haven't heard of my terrible disease, have you...?"
"Nope," I confirmed through half-lidded eyes. "Never heard of it and don't care about it, so don't bother explaining."
"I wonder what we'll encounter here..." Sanji mused.
I smirked mysteriously as Usopp's bemoaning continued. "You know," I said slowly, "I've heard discomforting stories about islands close to Reverse Mountain. They tend to have natives that are hostile to everyone with unnaturally large noses. The islanders also usually hate people who wear overalls..."
The cowardly liar shivered in fear and sank to the floor.
Sanji's eyes turned to hearts. "Ah, Diamond-chan is so beautiful when she's purposefully scaring people~!"
I punched him hard in the eye as a reward, drawing a snicker from Zoro.
The river carried us further inland and we all peered through the fog, trying to see what was waiting for us through the slightly moist curtain. I could just make out some shadowy shapes that could've been people, but what Usopp declared were most certainly hordes of monsters that were good at disguising themselves. I hit him over the head to shut him up, because I was getting ticked off at his cowardliness.
COMMERCIAL BREAK WHICH I HAVEN'T DONE FOR A FEW CHAPTERS 'CUZ OF LAZINESS!
As the Merry sailed on through the fog and Usopp lay twitching on the ground, I sighed, content that there was no scared talk now. Finally, the low-hanging cloud started thinning and we could see the figures on the shore more clearly.
"Eh?" Lucy frowned as she noticed them. "What's that out there?"
Sanji squinted. "People! There's definitely people on the shore!"
I rolled my eyes. "We can see that."
"Minna, on your guard," Nami ordered cautiously.
Usopp stood up and readied his green slingshot, his knees shaking like a fat girl's bum on a treadmill. "Ah, shit..." he cried. "Looks like I'll have to brace myself for the worst. Be you monsters or whatever... COME ON OUT!"
I regarded him distastefully. "Arthur Schopenhauer has got nothing on you, bro."
"Who's Arthur Schopenhauer?"
"My home town's greatest pessimist."
"Oh."
A low noise started up, then suddenly grew in volume to a drone, and then turned into a full scale crowd of shouts. The fog lifted, finally, and we were able to see that a whole village of people had been waiting for us on the shore in front of a town, and our jaws dropped. They looked... they...
"They're happy...?" I gasped, a probably-comical look of disbelief on my face. (Think Ichigo Kurosaki and you'll know what I mean.)
"It's like they're glad to see kaizokou," Usopp remarked, eye twitching. "What's wrong with these people!?"
"Welcome to the Grand Line!" the villagers cheered. They were all dressed in something different from the others, and it was mostly bright, summery colors that made me feel like I was staring at a rainbow. I didn't spot a single emo in the whole group. As I watched, they waved colorful flags and threw streamers all over the place. Some people even played happy tunes on various instruments. I raised an eyebrow. One of the villagers strangely resembled Tatsuki from Bleach. "Welcome to our town, the town of celebration - - Whiskey Peak!"
Lucy broke out in a rubbery grin. "Town of celebration, eh? Sounds like my kinda place!"
Sanji was flabbergasted. "What the hell's going on?"
"Beats me," I replied in a small voice, the irony of the situation momentarily driving all other coherent thought away from me.
"WELCOME! Long live the heroes of the sea! Banzai!"
Sanji suddenly face-faulted and his eyes turned to hearts. "Oh~! There's so many cute girls~!"
I regarded him distastefully and tapped Zoro. "Look at that! It's the legendary ero-cook in its natural habitat!"
The swordsman snorted in amusement.
Apparently, Usopp had already adjusted to our current situation, because he was leaning over the railing of the Merry and blowing kisses to the shore, quipping, "Well, whaddya know? Kaizokou really are heroes to everyone, aren't they?"
"They're not," I deadpanned.
"Oi!" Lucy called to the crowd.
Nami was busy picking her jaw off of the floor. "These people must be insane!" she muttered.
Because it seemed fairly safe enough, we decided to dock at the harbor in town and we all got off. I had that momentary sense of dizziness I always did whenever we stepped onto land (I was still getting used to landlubber's feet), but it passed as a large man in a navy suit stepped forward. He had huge, blonde, curly hair and he looked like a cross-dresser. He carried something like a tuba or a saxophone or whatever. I'd never been a very musically talented person (singing not included) and I had a hard time distinguishing one instrument from another. Hey, I can't do everything right, ya know!
"Welco - -" he began, but suddenly froze and pounded his chest. "Mah ~ Mah ~ Maaaah ~! Ahem. Welcome! My name is Igarappoi."
I tilted my head. "If your name irritates you, then just get a new one." (AN: Igarappoi means irritating.)
The old man blinked. "Nani? Ah, no, Igarappoi's my name, not how I feel about it. Anyway, I am the mayor of this small town."
Lucy stepped forward with a simple look on her face. "Ah. Ore wa Lucy. Nice to meet ya." She pointed and sounded amused. "Ossan, your hair is way too curly."
"This is the town of spirit brewing and lively music," Igarappoi continued, smiling, "Whiskey Peak! We take pride in our hospitality. We have an entire ocean of spirits for your enjoyment. Would you care to join us in celebration and share stories of your adventures? We would be - -" he coughed. "Mah ~ Mah ~ Maaaah~! Ahem. We would be delighted to hear them."
My jaw dropped. "Spirits? You mean you guys are ghostbusters!? Sugoi!"
Zoro bopped me over the head with his sword. "Baka. He meant booze."
"Oh." I blushed in embarrassment, rubbing my head.
Lucy, Sanji, and Usopp completely ignored the two of us and danced around excitedly. "You bet we would! OUR PLEASURE!"
Nami raised her eyebrow. "Oi, don't you guys think this is a bit strange?" The guys (and girl) in question completely ignored her, making her sigh in exasperation. "They're the Three Stooges!" She held up the Log Pose and pointed to it. "Say, Igarappoi, how long will it take for the Log to adapt to this island?"
The mayor raised his eyebrow and waved his hand dismissively. "Log? Let's not talk about such formal things. Take a well deserved rest from your travels, please!" He walked forward and placed a hand on her shoulder, making her look at him weirdly. "Now, minna! Prepare for a celebration! A song for our adventurous guests!"
The rest of that day was pretty damn awesome. I couldn't remember anything about the Whiskey Peak Arc at that time, though it was hovering vaguely in the back of my mind, but I didn't let that bother me. Maybe that was stupid, but hey! They were throwing a free party in our favor, without us having to do anything! After a long week of running from Marines, climbing mountains, getting eaten by whales, and genderbending, I deserved a fiesta, sister!
The villagers of Whiskey Peak sure knew how to throw a party. There was a band playing a heroic tune, an eating and a drinking contest, and pretty much everything else you could imagine. Sanji was surrounded by a small harem of girls, Zoro and Nami were downing cup after cup of booze and literally wasting the competition, Lucy was eating so much that she knocked the cooks unconscious, and Usopp and I were recounting our adventures to the villagers. I left out the parts about all the blood from my battles with Fennu and Lady Konton so that the children wouldn't get nightmares.
"You shoulda seen her!" I chortled, thinking about Konton. "She looked young enough, but the moment Lucy and I landed the final blows, she turned into this ugly old hag! I only caught a quick glimpse of it because I fell unconscious, too, but she looked butt ugly!"
The children erupted in laughter. "You mean like Ken-chan?" one of the girls asked, motioning to a kid who looked slightly like a nerd. He gave an 'oi!' of protest, but grinned and laughed with the rest of them.
"Now, now, Tsukiko-chan, that's not nice," I reprimanded her, grinning at the closeness of the kids. I'd learned the names of all the kids during my storytelling. At my old school, a comment like that would've been enough to start a small war between the students. It was nice to know that this world's kids were close enough that a little friendly teasing wouldn't make them too angry. Maybe there was hope for the multiverse yet.
A few couches away, Usopp was in the middle of his own exaggeration. "And then I said, 'Even if you are Sea Kings, you ain't gonna lay a finger on my nakama!'"
"Oi!" I called over to him, grinning cheerfully. "I was the one who pulled that zebra reject's nose hair and made him sneeze us out of there!"
"Well, that may be true," he admitted, "but when we entered the Calm Belt, even I was shivering... shivering with excitement, that is!"
"Captain Usopp-san and fellow kaizokou Diamond-chan!" the men gasped, looking at us with star filled eyes. "You two are so awesome! Can we have your autograph!?"
I smirked. "Don't mind if I do!" I pulled out a pen from nowhere and signed my name on some paper, then handed it to them. Usopp did the same, grinning and laughing like a maniac.
A little boy with dark purple hair tugged on my sleeve. This, I'd learned, was Junta-san. "Oi, oneechan! Were you really a boy a few days ago?"
I nodded. "Believe it!"
"But now you're a girl!?" gasped a white-haired girl named Shiragiku.
I frowned in depression. "H-Hai... I have to wear bras and panties now... my masculinity has been stolen from me and stomped on like a bug..."
The people around me all laughed at my predicament.
Over near the band, Igarappoi chuckled. "Well, this certainly is - - Mah ~ Mah ~ Maaaah! Ahem. This certainly is a wonderful night! There's nothing better to see than everyone enjoying themselves."
Finally, close to two hours later, the party was finally winding down. I checked my iPod and realized with surprise that it was way past midnight!
Zoro had passed out a few tankards of beer ago, and Nami slammed her mug on the table and promptly fell over, having won the Kanpai Contest. Lucy was finally collapsing from overeating, her belly so full that her shirt was just barely hanging off her. Seeing this, my face flushed deep red and I passed out with a small nosebleed. Oi, can you blame me? Her huge fun bags were almost totally unsheathed for all the world to enjoy!
And so it was that I missed out on fighting the bounty hunters of Whiskey Peak.
Ugh, finally done with this chapter. *turns blue* It felt so boring to write until the party... the party was fun to write. Well, sorry for the long wait, minna! Now that we're back in school, I'm gonna revert back to the old posting schedule. You know, a chapter each Saturday. Maybe Friday if I'm lucky, and perhaps one on Sundays, too, and maybe even a surprise chapter during the week. That probably won't happen, though, because I'm gonna be really busy from now on. I've got exams to study for, homework to do, and I'm in the school play (which is The Music Man this year. I'm one of the traveling salesmen in it.)
Diamond: Alright! Whiskey Peak is awesome! I love this town!
Zoro: But they're all bounty hunters...
Lucy: I think I'm experiencing something new... being full.
Nami: *drunkenly* I won... the money... *passes out with belli-shaped eyes*
Well, hope you liked this chapter! If you like this story so far, please contribute by following and/or favoriting! Also leave a review on what you liked, found funny, didn't like, or what you think I could change in the future! Please note that while popularity is highly appreciated, it is not necessary for me to continue writing. Oh, and don't forget to check out the companion fanfic, Straw Hat Snippets, for more craziness from the One Piece: Full Blast crew!
-TheRealEvanSG
