Chapter Name: Sweet Dreams
Notes: Thanks to reviewers Purpleheart10, MostlyRadial, ilovelovelove, Soldier702, Carl Rahl, Drag0nL0rd, NewMoon02, KeyLimePie14 and mrmuscle.
"Carly, you're just as beautiful as Sam is." I squeezed her hands, just to let her know I was being serious.
I was hoping to reassure her, instead, she flippantly replied, "You used to say I was the most beautiful girl the world."
I sighed. I sometimes wished I could take back all those words. That I could've remained silent. Not to splash my barely adolescent 'love' for Carly across Seattle. Shit, my balls hadn't even dropped beforethe first time I said 'I love you' to Carly. That was sure to have fucked something in our relationship up.
That she kept me as a friend was a miracle. Perhaps only my enthusiastic innocence prevented her from slamming doors in my face and telling me I creeped her out. It sure as hell creeped Shelby out, which was decidedly after my balls had dropped, which I'm guessing turned my 'oh don't worry about Freddie, he's just a harmless kid with a crush' to something akin to 'watch out for Freddie, he's a horny virgin nerd who probably creamed his pants dreaming about you last night.'
Which would have been total bullshit. That night before I met Shelby I'd been dreaming about Wendy. Later, however, it'd taken me weeks to stop ruining my sheets dreaming about Shelby, Carly and Sam together. In the end I had to waste a whole bottle of lotion making sure I was 'running on empty' before going to sleep. And finally they stopped. Eventually even the best dreams get boring, especially when your reality is so complete barren in comparison. It's almost the brain teasing 'yeah, this is as close as you'll ever get to any of them.'
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up."
All I wanted to do at that moment was reach out to her, to say words I'd said far too often, in ways not meant for a mere friendship. I knew in my heart I couldn't, "Carly."
Her head titled back up, our eyes meeting again, her face glum and doleful.
"It's okay Carly, but things are different now." I could so easily slip right back into my previous behavior, and even a single word, or a certain touch from Carly could start up every single emotion that stirred up trouble if I didn't stop myself.
Yes I was jealous dammit. I was so jealous it burned, but I never put myself before Carly. Until the day I stopped being there for her. I let my imperfect mask slip, the mask that let me put Carly ahead of anything, it wasn't a trouble for me. I liked being there for her. For one fleeting moment I failed, and it was ruinous.
I wanted to punish Carly. For ignoring me. For ignoring my advice. For going out with that slimeball Jonah. I wanted her to feel some of the pain I'd felt. I had 5 minutes of howling laughter, 5 minutes recovering from Sam, 10 minutes of pure, joyous schadenfreude, then 2 weeks of unimaginable guilt and self-loathing.
Since then I've had varying levels of guilt, loathing and introspection.
I don't want that to happen again. I can't lose this friendship, or Sam's, or Spencer's, not again. I can't help but think I'd lose Carly forever if I fucked up a second time. And that can't happen. So I can't let myself slip into old habits.
"Thanks. But you were looking at Sam."
Sam, at least for people who didn't get to know her personality, was one of those practically drool-worthy girls guys would chase on her looks alone. I can't help but think that Melanie must have broken a million hearts at her boarding school, and she'd make some lucky guy super lucky one day. Melanie had near-identical blonde bombshell looks, and combined it with her fun, sweet personality and intelligence, any guy who spent time around her would probably instantly crush on her if she so much as smiled at them.
Just like I did with Carly.
"Well I was looking, but that's only because she was walking in front. Don't say anything to Sam, she'll kill me." I pleaded. The last thing I needed was Sam getting annoyed with me. Fatcake pact or not, it's never good for my health.
"In that case, perhaps you better start looking at someone else instead?"
"Like who?" I pretty much snorted.
"Maybe.. someone like-"
Before she could finish, Spencer yelled out "CARLAYYYY, FREDDIEEEE" across half the pool. Of course, he got people's attention. We swam back over, deciding to leave soon. We played a couple more games, like that one where you get on someone's shoulders and fight the other. Was pretty fun. Sam beat me. Sam always beats me. Sam beats everyone.
In the end, we all left the pool, got dry, changed again, and started home. Sam called shotgun, so Carly and I were in the back seat. Spencer found an old tire by the side of the road he thought he could use in a sculpture, and decided to stuff that in the seat in the back next to me. So I was in the middle, and Carly had the only window seat.
As Sam and Spencer argued about how fast he should be going (Sam wanted faster, Spencer wanted to stay legal), Carly tilted her head, and rested it on my shoulder. Smiling, she shut her eyes, and her left hand reached over, placing it over my right, and we stayed that way, Carly half-asleep, until we reached home, the sun starting to set, sky turning orange and the clouds glowing.
As we pulled into the parking lot, I whispered in her ear.
"What?"
"We're home Carly."
"Oh nice."
"Home sweet home!" Spencer called out. If there was any doubt about Carly being woken from her nap it was ended right there and there.
"Maybe for you, Carly and the tech geek." Sam spoke as we exited the car.
"Sam, you practically live here, this is totally your home as well." Spencer picked up some of the stuff we'd brought to the pool, and started off to the elevator.
I chucked whatever food was left in my bag at Sam, who happily walked off with Spencer back to the apartment having already eaten a fatcake in time since I gave them to her. I feel like a smoothie.
"I feel like a smoothie, anyone want one?"
"Sure." Spencer and Sam yelled just as they lifted upwards, leaving Carly by my side.
"Can I come with?"
"Of course."
We made some small talk as we headed over, about how nice the day was, Sam beating everyone in our games, and discussed how awesome those cupcakes were. I had to agree wholeheartedly on that last point. After standing in line whilst Carly found a seat in the corner, I rejected T-Bo's offer of taco's on a stick (even if I was intrigued by the idea), and ordered one for me, one for her. I'd get Sam and Spence's on the way out.
Carly fiddled with her straw for a few moments, then opened up the conversation.
"Freddie, when you were talking about who you might be happier with, what were you going to say before Sam came over?" Carly raised her eyebrow, a questioning look aimed at me.
".. I uh.. was going to say what if I'd be happier with... someone who liked my friends better."
"Uh huh." Carly wasn't convinced. Hell, neither was I. So I changed the subject. Kinda.
"My turn to ask a question.. when youwere talking about me starting to look at someone else, who were you talking about?"
Now it was Carly's turn to twist in the wind, "I um, I was going to say Melanie."
I didn't believe her, but it didn't really matter, "Very funny. For starters, she's only down here once or twice a year, only for a few weeks at the most, and she's probably got a dozen boyfriends at school."
"I guess you're right. Stupid idea." Carly slurped up the last bit of her smoothie. I had another question. Time for some payback, or at least a little teasing.
"You know I feel like an idiot for treating her like shit."
"Freddie, Mel knows all about what happened. And blames it all on Sam."
"I guess. I still feel bad. I probably could've felt her up if I treated her right." At this Carly gave me her little 'You did not just say that in front of my face look' and huffed.
I just laughed at it and changed subject again. "This isn't where we normally talk about this stuff, but you did call Sam hot.. so Carly, have you ever had any sex dreams about Sam?" I followed up by smirking at her.
Carly pretty much choked on the straw, and yelled out, "FREDDIE!"
"Well that answers the question. Hot. Tell me what happened?" I wasn't expecting Carly to admit anything, I wouldn't be surprised if she hadn't anyway, I was just jerking her chain a little.
"It's nothing. Just one dream. When she stayed over one night and didn't bother wearing a towel after she finished having a shower. Don't you dare tell her." Wow. That was definitely not what I expected. Even that little part of my brain that conjures up images of Sam and Carly making out over cupcakes wouldn't have thought this up. I sensed I might able to get some more details, plus it was fun to get her back for what she'd done this morning.
"So is it just Sam you dreamed about, or are you like a lesbian or something? Is Valerie going to seduce her way onto the show over Sam? Or maybe you'll just have a Sam/Carly/Valerie threesome on the show from now on?" I think by now Carly knew why I was asking her, and the look in her eyes told me that was the only reason she was letting me continue on the point.
Carly hit me in the face with her empty cup, "No Freddie, I'm not a lesbian, in my dreams or otherwise. I think... No, I dream about guys all the time, Griffin, you, Shane, Gibby. Even guys I've broken up with. Plus I have normal dreams way more than those dreams." Carly realized what she said, turned red, then fast as lightning put both hands over her mouth.
I laughed so hard I nearly had Strawberry Splat come out my nose and ruin the table.
Carly recovered from the shock, her eyes narrowed, "You repeat a word of this to anyone and they won't ever find your body."
"I promise not to tell." I crossed my heart.
"Really?"
"Of course. Besides, you know way more embarrassing stuff about me than I do about you."
We sat there looking at each other, and I decided to risk one last question, "So... Carly... in your," I lent across the table and whispered, "Sex dreams about me, am I good?"
Carly's face fell flat onto the table, her hair covering up any sign of facial expression, and all I heard was a faint, "Yes." Hah.
"You know why I'm doing this right."
"Yes."
"Good. I think that's about enough punishment. As long as you don't try anything like this morning again."
Carly, head still attached to the table, thanked me, "Could you take the smoothies for Sam and Spencer? I have to do some shopping before I go home."
"Sure." I patted her on the head, then helped Carly up from the table, laughed at her one last time, before walking back home with smoothies in hand and a smile on my face. After getting an earful from Lewbert, I reached our floor. The door was locked, so I prepared to knock, only to hear something awfully close to shouting from the other side.
"Sam, you can't joke about stuff like that. Maybe if you were with just Freddie and Carly it'd be okay, but not with me." Spencer sounded pretty annoyed. Not angry, just annoyed.
"Chillax Spence, it's not like I was going to do it, I wanted to see if the old fogies would react."
"Sam, you can't sit in a sauna and start asking if people don't mind you going topless. You're too young for that stuff anyway, and with me around, people might get the wrong idea. We're lucky we only got kicked out of the sauna, and not the entire building."
What the hell? So that's what happened. Hmm. Sam topless. I wouldn't mind seeing that.
"Don't tell Carly." Sam pleaded. I didn't hear her use that tone very often. Maybe being called out by Spencer of all people for doing something silly got to her.
"It's okay Sam, I won't, just think a little more before you do stuff like that again."
I decided to knock now, and just gave Spencer the smoothies before making my excuses and heading home. I lay in bed for a while, just thinking, about Carly, about Sam, and about Spencer. On the whole, it was a great day.
Before I knew it, I was fast asleep. I dreamed about cupcakes.
'swoosh', 'swoosh', 'swoosh', 'swoosh'.
Is it weird I dream more about 2 girls than I do about being with a girl myself?
AN: Okay, here's your chance to have something in the story that you have thought up. I'm asking you for an idea about something that Carly and Freddie, Freddie and Sam, the trio, or something that involves Mrs Benson and/or Spencer could do. Give me the idea, and I might include one, or maybe more, in the story in the future.
Please R&R!
