This little tidbit is inspired by Captain Marvel #1, taking place between Cap & Carol beating Absorbing Man and them returning to Avengers Tower.
Chapter 9: Growin' On Me
"Moon rocks…remember the good old days when villains were actually smart and gave us something to worry about more than just property damage and the hurt innocent bystanders?"
Captain America gave her a knowing look and a smirk.
"Yeah, me neither," Carol chuckled as she followed him onto the Quinjet. Looking back, she saw the SHIELD guys load up the rather large supervillian onto the prison transport, ready to take Absorbing Man to whatever secret prisons SHIELD had up their sleeves. In the distance, she could make out the growing mass of reporters-the very same ones that had asked Cap who she was, who had thought that she was an all-new heroine fresh into the Avengers. She couldn't blame them, really; ever since she had ditched her old Ms. Marvel uniform and made this one, everyone had been asking if she was some newbie before learning that it was still Ms. Marvel, just with a whole new look.
Taking her seat at the jet controls, Carol brought the Quinjet into the air and soon both Avengers were taking off, going at a slow leisure pace back to Avengers Tower. After a few minutes, Steve broke the silence.
"So…"
Carol turned to look at him, waiting to see what the man was going to see. She was surprised to see a smirk on his face.
"Couldn't help noticing everything you said back there, Carol," he said, the smirk held in place.
"Huh?" Carol racked her brain over everything that she had said in their fight with the villain, trying to make sense of what Captain America meant. Nothing, however, came to mind. "What do you mean, Cap? What did I say?"
"All those jokes you used to taunt Absorbing Man?"
"Cap," Carol replied with a smirk of her own. "I think we both know I'm not one to joke around or crack some in the heat of the fight."
"Ok, ok, I'll give you that one," he replied. "Maybe 'jokes' was the wrong word to use. I think the better term would be, then…quips?"
Carol knew immediately what the man meant with that word, but tried to play it cool. "I have no idea what you're taking about, Cap," she answered. Unfortunately, her changed body posture, jaw tightening and looking back ahead at the skies betrayed her.
"Oh, really? 'I think I know your problem, Absorbing Man. You're bitter that your name sounds like a brand of toilet paper.' 'Cap, I think he's on to something. He's already absorbed the reasoning powers of the concrete!' And that's just what I heard."
Carol slowly began to feel the heat creep up onto her cheeks, telling her that she was starting to blush. "I have no idea what you're talking about, old man."
"Carol, I have been frozen in ice for almost 60 years but I'm not an idiot," Cap replied, his smirk now turning into a smile. "You know damn well what I'm talking about."
Carol could only sink into her chair, the small smile she was trying to contain now slowly creeping up on her lips.
"He's growing on you-"
"Shut up, Steve."
Rogers chuckled at her pitiful attempt of ending the conversation. "So you admit it, then?"
With a sigh, Carol turned on the auto pilot and turned to face him, the slightly embarrassed smile now on her lips.
"Fine, Cap, I admit, Peter's kind of growing on me. Happy?"
"Hey, I'm just trying to get you to be honest with yourself, Carol," the super-soldier replied. "I'd think that with the kind of life you've had and the kind of life we're living as Avengers, you'd take advantage of this kind of thing if it presented itself."
The silence returned between them. Carol relaxed back onto her chair, contemplating the Avenger's words, while said Avenger stared off ahead through the window into the sky.
"If I were to be completely honest with myself," Carol said suddenly, "I'd have to say that Peter's really, really growing on me. More than I'd like to admit, even to him or myself."
"And why is that, soldier?" Steve inquired.
"Well, to him for kind of obvious reasons," she replied, her slight blushing deepening a bit more. Then her face became a bit more serious. "But to admit it to myself that…well, Peter's growing on me-"
"Just to be clear," Steve interrupted, "we're talking about more than just him growing on you, right?"
"…yes, Cap," Carol sighed. "Like I was saying, to admit it to myself, well…it's like I'm setting myself up for…well…"
"Another failure? Another downward spiral?"
"Exactly…"
Captain America chose his next words carefully, seeing just how uncertain the usually confident former USAF pilot was at the moment. "Look, Carol, I can understand where you're coming from-I was kind of unsure how Sharon and I were going to turn out when our feelings turned romantic. I mean, look at us; a super-soldier from 1944 who was involved with her aunt, still trying to understand this age while she grew up hearing all the stories about me, plus she's up to date with this world…but I digress. Carol, I see what you're getting at, I do, but Spider-Man is no Simon Williams."
That name alone brought a pang of familiar pain: Simon Williams, Wonder Man; her previous boyfriend who doubted and left her in her time of need and who later went on a mad rampage to bring down the Avengers and New Avengers. That break-up had her doubting herself and everything she had ever done for months.
"And with all respect to Michael Barnett, I don't think any of your enemies-Mystique specifically-will find it an easy task to simply kill him."
Michael Barnett…the first man she loved, murdered in cold blood by the woman who had, in every sense of the word, destroyed her life.
"I want to believe that Cap, I really do-in fact I know I can believe it, all of the time. Peter is one of the greatest heroes I've ever met: brave, unyielding, loving, caring, responsible…and he's always willing to do whatever it takes to save the innocent. And…that's what worries me the most."
That was an answer Captain America was not expecting. In surprise he arched an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"He throws himself into danger without a second thought."
"He's an Avenger; that's what we do."
"But when he's with us, the team, he has back up, other heroes who'll make sure nothing happens…he has me." Carol was surprised to hear those words come out, but she continued nonetheless. "The everyday thugs and criminals he faces are no threat to him, obviously. But, eventually, he may have to choose between a hostage's life and his own, and I know he would choose the hostage in a heartbeat. And the villains he faces…the Sinister Six, Goblin, Kingpin-they won't hesitate to kill him given the chance."
Steve suddenly knew exactly what Carol was getting to.
"You're not afraid of him failing you…you're afraid of YOU failing to protect him."
A single tear glistened in Carol's eye. "Yeah…I am."
"And that's why you're not acting on your feelings; you're scared that if you let him in, he'll be taken away from you."
"Mystique took Mike away; Osborn, in a way, stole Simon from me. Call me paranoid, I guess…but yeah, you're exactly right, Steve. If I let myself open up to him, if I allow myself to become vulnerable by getting too close to Peter, what happens if I lose him too?"
Captain America, leader of the Avengers and face of the United States of America, the man who always had something to say to motivate someone and inspire them to accomplish anything, was unsure of what to say.
"I'd break down, worse than I've ever broken down before, Cap, and do you know why? Because for some strange reason that I will quite possibly never understand, Peter has made me fall for him and, God help me, I've never cared for any other man like I care for Peter. I don't know what I will do if I lose him. That's why I don't act up on what I feel; if I don't let myself grow so close and attached, if I do lose him, maybe the pain wouldn't be so hard to deal with." The tear finally broke free from Carol's eye and ran down her cheek.
"I'm sorry Carol, but I have to say that is one of the saddest things I've ever heard."
Carol snapped her head towards her teammate, shocked at his words-had he really said that?! She just poured her heart out to one of her closest friends and THAT'S what he thought!? Fury began to boil in her blood, coursing through her veins…until she saw Captain America's face-THE face; the "No Nonsense" face that shut every Avenger up, even Peter. Then the man spoke in his calm, cool and authoritative tone.
"You keep him at arm's length to try to ease your own pain of what MIGHT happen? That is pure selfishness, soldier, and I'll tell you why. It's because you're only caring about your own feelings. Carol, the ultimate sacrifice that we as Avengers are prepared to do is something Spider-Man has willingly embraced since he was a TEENAGER, and something he will always be ready to do until his time comes. Have you ever thought about what he feels? Carol, I've seen the way you look at him, and I've seen how he looks at you. You two have a bond that he has rarely ever had-not since his first real girlfriend was killed by the Green Goblin. Around you, he's purely happy and around him, you let out a side almost no one sees. The attraction between you two is immense, but you keep him at arm's length? Carol, if you lose him like that, the pain won't be less; it'll be much more unbearable than you think it could be. Because you will regret never taking a chance, never letting your emotions guide you…never letting Peter in. That, Carol, will destroy you."
Carol stared at him, complete with a gaping mouth and saucer-sized eyes. But as she continued to stare at the super-soldier, something began clicking in her mind and she realized it with a bang.
Cap was right.
Losing Peter, without ever taking a chance…she would regret it with all her heart, with all her being. Never giving herself a chance to be happy, happy with the man who made her feel like a teenage girl experiencing her first crush all over again-the pain would be unbearable. Carol would never forgive herself. Realizing this, Carol couldn't help but stare at the WWII veteran for a few minutes.
Looking back to the window, she slowly nodded her head in admittance.
"You're right."
"Of course I'm right," Cap said, a small smirk now coming to his face. "Again, frozen in ice, but not an idiot."
The Quinjet finally approached Avengers Tower, landing on one of the bay hangers up on top. As the two veterans exited and made their way inside, Cap placed a hand on Carol's shoulder.
"I completely understand where you come from, Carol; I kind of felt the same with Sharon. But if we don't take the risk and chance what can be, when it's too late we will regret it-you will regret it. Like the saying goes, 'Better to have love and lose it than never loved at all;' or something like that…"
"I get what you mean, Steve," Carol smiled. "I guess I have a bit of thinking to do."
"Yes, soldier; yes, you do."
A few minutes of silenced passed as they both made their way into the kitchen.
"Now, about taking the mantle…"
"No."
"I think you should consider it."
"Gahhhhhhh…."
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I had some reservations about this chapter but I think it came out pretty well after the edit.
Liked it? What did you think? All feedback and reviews are welcome as always.
Next chapter coming soon, until next time readers :)
Love & War will be updated by Tuesday the LATEST, as will CDvsSFSM
