WARNING: This chapter contains . . . [Language / Mild Suggestive Narration / Mild Suggestive Dialogue]
Edit Update: 1/1/2016
Did some majorly minor editing.
Luckily I was able to blend in with the cosplayers and I merely followed them to a hotel they occupied, where I checked into a room under a false name, borrowed a spare Light Yagami costume from a guy who was about my height, and then I ducked into my new room, locking myself in as I breathed a sigh of relief. I was safe again. And this time I would stay safe. That was the last time that I would ever get kidnapped. I would keep my guard up at all times. I was like a ninja. A very manly ninja!
With a smile on my face, I went into the bathroom and changed into the school uniform and paused at the tie. I always wanted to learn how to do it. But when I tried, it looked like a sickly sailor knot. Oh well. At least my hotel room had a flat screen TV. And Spittle wasn't here to hog it. Yay me!
I stepped back into the living room to entertain myself with a marathon of my favorite anime but found myself staring at the couch; because on the couch was Stacie, who was glaring daggers at me.
"How did you-?"
"Through the window." Stacie answered.
"Where's-?"
"Still unconscious."
"Oh."
After a very long and awkward silence, Stacie groaned. "Look, I'm tired of all this running around. Let's just get moving, alright?"
"What can I do to make you not kidnap me again?" I asked before an idea popped into my head and I began slowly swinging my hips around as I started undoing the knot in my tie.
"What are you doing?" Stacie asked flatly as she raised an eyebrow.
"I'm trying to be sexy." I answered as I tossed the tie aside, which I somehow accidentally threw out the window.
"You're about as sexy as a drunk armadillo."
"That sounded like a challenge."
"Please don't." She said as I began taking off the coat while I stuck my tongue out. "Just don't."
"You know you want it."
"I would rather have my eyes gouged out so I couldn't see you doing . . . whatever it is you're doing."
"I'm seducing you." I said as I unbuckled my belt with one hand and ran my fingers through my hair with the other.
"I wouldn't call it that."
"Give me a chance, babe."
"I think I'm gonna barf."
I stopped. "So, you really don't think I'm sexy?"
"Even Lon Chaney in full Quasimodo makeup is sexier than you." Ouch. "Now are you going to cooperate or not?"
I hung my head and sulked at the floor before I looked up ever-so-slightly, giving her my best puppy eyes. "I wasn't even a little bit sexy?"
"No." Darn! My cuteness didn't work! She's good . . . "Now stop wasting my time and let's go!
"Just give me one more chance!"
"No!" Stacie said as she grabbed my wrist. "Let's go."
"But you didn't let me finish my sexy moves!" I whined as she dragged me towards the door. "I was gonna dance around ya and strip to the song Mo Cash!"
"Really?"
"Actually, no. I've never even seen Magic Mike and I was never gonna strip to my undies, 'cause I'm a respectful Christian."
"Yeah, sure." I could hear the sarcasm in her voice.
"I really am!"
"Whatever you say, kid." She must be the Queen of Sarcasm, who rules over the land of Sarcasmania.
"I'm as innocent as they come!"
She grabbed the door handle. "Says the girl who was just trying to seduce me."
"And you weren't even a little bit attracted to me?"
"Get your butt out that door!"
"Right . . ." I said as I followed her to my unavoidable demise.
"How the frig are we getting through that?"
The two teenage boys - horse included - had found the trail that they were supposed to take, but the path in question was covered in thick vines and branches that would take half a century to cut through. And they were both anxious to get to the other side as soon as possible so that they could arrive at El Dorado to fulfill their conquests - though they both wanted to conquest two totally different things.
"It looks like we will just have to swim." Bakura said, pointing at the body of water that would lead them to the other side.
"Swim?!" Marik walked up to Bakura, placing his hands on his hips. "Haven't you ever watched Piranhaconda?!"
"No, I haven't."
"Me either."
"Then why are you even bringing it up?"
"I am not going in there." Marik said, ignoring the question.
"Oh yes you are, Marik." Bakura glared at him. "And you're not only going to get in there, but you are also going to swim across to the other side."
"Make me!"
"Gladly." That is when Bakura pushed him, causing Marik to fall into the murky water.
Bakura laughed as the Egyptian boy sputtered and spit water and mud out of his mouth, his blond hair covering his face. "You're a very bad kitty!" Marik scolded him as he parted his wet locks, and the first thing he saw was a leech that had latched onto the tip of his nose. "Aaaahhhh! Get it off! Get it off! It's Cornelius II all over again!"
"If it isn't one thing, it's another." Bakura grumbled as he guided the horse into the water and made his way across. And the leeches, who felt his evil aura, stayed clear from him. Besides, Bakura is so coldblooded that he would give the leeches brain freeze.
Before the story could continue, Yugi opened the door to the booth that the narrator was forced to stay in. "Around these parts, whenever someone quotes from an abridged series that isn't made by LittleKuriboh, they kinda end up getting their kneecaps broken . . . With a wrench." He held up the tool. "Specifically this wrench."
Oh s*** . . .
While the narrator filled the booth with their screams of pain and agony beyond power of speech, Bakura and Artax made it back on dry land as Marik continued to run around in circles, which, at least, kept the other leeches from grabbing onto him.
Bakura sat down on the grass and watched, a look of boredom on his pale face. "Are you quite finished?"
Marik halted. "Wait." He said as he held up a finger before screaming again and spun in circles three or four more times before stopping once more. "Okay, now I'm done."
Bakura let out an exasperated sigh. "Get over here so that I can get it off."
"Okay." Marik waded over to the riverbank and Bakura wasted no time in grabbing the bloodsucking creature, which he yanked off.
Marik yelped and held his injured nose.
"Like a band aid." Bakura said as he let go of the leech, letting it splash back into the water.
Marik was about to complain when he cringed upon seeing that he was now covered in sludge. "Crap in a bucket." Marik tried to shake his hands clean, which caused a spray of mud to land on Bakura, who merely rolled his eyes. He was becoming an expert at that. "Now my sexiness levels are too low to increase both of our chances of survival."
Bakura cocked his head to one side. For some reason, the mud made him look even more attractive. If that were even possible. Maybe this was how some men felt when they watched those big breasted women wear bikinis as they wrestled in the mud with a football. He watched the boy push his hair back as the sun began to set behind him. He was rattling on about something or other, but Bakura couldn't make out what Marik was saying. He was too busy drinking it all in. If only they had a football. No, forget the football. He wanted Marik to tackle him instead.
"Your nose is bleeding again, Bakura." Marik pointed out and he continued on as Bakura wiped it away. "Honestly, Bakura. It's not even that hot out here. You need more sun in your life. I mean, just look at how pale you are! One of these days I am going to take you back to Egypt with me where we can sunbathe together. I wasn't born with this sexy tan, you know! Ever since I was a child I have made it a point to sunbathe completely naked twice a week and now my butt looks gorgeous. Bakura! Your nose is frigging Niagara Falls!"
