Chapter 9

What Part of No Did You Not Understand?

I sat in my room with Moosie who is my stuffed cat on one side of me and half of Tickly my blanket on the other side. I was sitting on the floor inside my closet and waiting to find out what my punishment was. I was sort of hiding but I do not know why. Mommy was in the wrong here and not me. I just had to hope that Daddy would believe me his beautiful and much loved daughter over his hated ex-wife. Daddy has told me he does not hate Mommy but he has to hate her since he divorced her.

I heard a car starting in the driveway and I ran to my bedroom window to see whose car it was. It was Mommy's car. She was leaving. I smiled happily to myself. That meant that the evil hag of a mother I have was gone and my punishment was over. This called for a celebration. I tossed Moosie in the air and then I changed into a pair of sweater pants. Sweater pants are my special creation. All you do is you take a sweater and stick your legs through the arms. I turned on my radio and began doing a dance I like to call the sweater pants dance. It is hard to explain but there is a lot of hip shaking, butt bumping and arm waving. I do the sweater pants dance whenever I am extra happy and want to celebrate. I keep it a secret from everyone because I think people would be super jelly if they knew about the sweater pants dance. I know for a fact they were all jelly when I invented sweater pants.

I heard a knock on my bedroom door. It was Andrew. "Karen? Daddy says to come downstairs and eat something."

Yay! Andrew did not say anything about a punishment so I was off the hook. I took off my sweater pants and turned off my stereo. I put my regular clothes back on and ran downstairs to the kitchen. I had not realized it before but I was very hungry.

Kristy was in the kitchen, "Hello Karen. There is a plate of food for you on the table. After you eat your daddy wants to see you in his office."

Kristy left the kitchen and I checked out the food on the table. There was a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich, some potato chips, two cookies and a glass of milk. It all looked gigundoly yummy. I sat down and started eating.

While I was eating I began thinking about why Daddy wanted to see me in his office. I hoped it was because he was ordering everything I wanted from Club G to make up for how mean Mommy had been to me today. Maybe Mommy had told me no about the things at Club G because she did not have enough money so that is why she really wanted to talk to Daddy. She just wanted to ask him for money so that is why she lied to him and said I was bad at the store. Mommy knows I was a perfect angel at Club G so there must be a reason why she lied to Daddy. I was not atrocious. Mommy was the one who behaved atrociously.

I finished eating and stuck my plate in the dishwasher. I think that proves how nice and helpful I am instead of being a spoiled monster like Mommy insists I am. After that I wiped down my space at the table with a washcloth and put the washcloth into the laundry hamper. Then I hauled myself down the hall to Daddy's office.

The door was partially open and Daddy was sitting at his desk but I knocked anyway. It is very polite to knock before going into someone's private space. I was proud of myself for thinking to do it. Usually I just barge into places because I forget to be polite and knock.

"Hi Daddy!" I said cheerfully, "You wanted to see me?" I was very excited and could not wait to find out how much wonderful stuff Daddy was ordering me from Club G.

However, Daddy did not look too happy. The angry look on his face made me feel confused. He looked so mad that he reminded me of Mommy. Maybe Mommy was taking lessons from Morbidda Destiny and had cast a spell on Daddy to give him an angry face. He had no reason to be mad that I could think of.

"Have a seat, Karen." Daddy said this through gritted teeth in a voice which was almost a growl.

I sat down in a leather, cushioned easy chair and looked at Daddy. "What is it Daddy?"

"Your behavior at Club G was appalling. It was ugly and embarrassing to your mother. You were disrespectful and mean. I cannot even think of a punishment severe enough for you to pay for your crimes." Daddy did not yell at me but he did not sound very nice either.

I did not understand. When was he going to get to the part about all the Club G things he was buying me? I decided to remind him about it. "Daddy, when do I get to have the things Mommy would not buy for me at Club G? Are you going to buy them for me?"

"No Karen. I am not going to buy you anything from Club G. Neither is your mother. Not now, not tomorrow and not ever. You have not shown us you deserve to have anything from Club G. Now, your mother and I have decided on a punishment. It is not severe enough to thoroughly discipline you for what you did today but it will have to suffice." Daddy looked at me with a mean, scary look in his eyes.

"Daddy, I really think you should buy me something from Club G. I really deserve it. It is not my fault Mommy is a big fat meanie mo liar who is so jelly of me that she has to make up stories so you will hate me just like you hate her." I could not believe Daddy was mad at me too. It just proved that Mommy was a witch like Morbidda Destiny.

"Karen, which part of no did you not understand? You will be on restriction for a month. You will only be allowed to talk to your friends at school. You will be confined to the house other than for school. No friends will be allowed to call or visit you and you will not be allowed to visit them. You will also be banned from television, video games and playing in the yard. In fact, the only rooms in the house you will be allowed in are your bedroom and your bathroom. Also no one in the family will be speaking to you for the entire month. Nannie will bring you your meals on a tray and you will be eating in your room. You will put the tray outside your room when you are done. You will not be speaking to anyone else either. Now go to your room. I am sick and tired of speaking to you." Daddy turned away from me.

I marched up to my room. I was gigundoly mad at how unfair Daddy was being. I would get my Club G merchandise one way or another and I would have my revenge on the entire family as well as Morbidda Destiny.