"Now…that wasn't so bad, was it?" Winifred Gillis asked her daughter-in-law as they walked out of the department store. "I think you'll feel better with new clothes."
"Maybe," Zelda sighed. She hated shopping, especially now. She knew the maternity dresses she'd tried on looked horrible, but they did feel more comfortable than her own clothes that she could barely squeeze into anymore, and she knew she couldn't wear Dobie's old gym clothes forever.
"You looked very pretty in them," Winifred reassured her as they walked down the sidewalk. "Especially the pink one. You were just glowing in that one." She smiled, "You know…my mother used to always say if a woman looked best in pink when she was expecting a baby…that meant the baby was a girl."
Zelda had to laugh, "That doesn't even make sense," she insisted.
"Well," Winifred shrugged. "My mother had a lot of strange superstitions like that." Her eyes twinkled with excitement, "Wouldn't it be nice if the baby was a girl though? I always wanted a little girl…"
"I think Dobie would be happier with a boy," Zelda said honestly. "He says it doesn't matter, but I think he really wants a boy. I don't want him to be disappointed."
"All men want a boy," Winifred said seriously. "Until they see their little girl. Trust me on this."
Zelda shook her head, "That's not true. My dad always wanted a boy…and he never got one. He's still disappointed."
"I think he's the exception," Winifred tried to make her feel better. She stopped in front of a fabric store and motioned toward the door, "Let's go in here. I need to get some yarn if I'm going to start knitting a blanket for my new grandbaby."
They walked inside and over to the yarn. A rainbow of colors lined the wall. "What color are you getting?" Zelda asked.
"Dobie said you wanted yellow," Winifred answered as she looked over a few shades of the color. She looked up at her daughter-in-law, "Is that okay? We can get something else. How about pink?"
Zelda shook her head, "No…I'd hate for you to go to all that trouble if the baby isn't a girl. I like yellow. It'll be perfect for a boy or a girl."
"Yellow then," Winifred said gently. She picked up two different shades and looked them over. "Which one do you like better?"
Zelda pointed to the lighter one. It looked soft and for a brief second she could picture wrapping her new baby up in the blanket and it made her smile. "This one. It's perfect. I love it."
"Me too," Winifred agreed and then she went to pay for it. As they got to the door, she noticed Zelda stop and grab hold of the doorframe. "Honey…are you okay?" She quickly put her arm around her daughter-in-law to help steady her.
Zelda shook her head slowly, "I don't feel very well," she admitted as she took a slow breath. "This happens once in a while. I just feel sort of dizzy and sick. It'll pass in a minute. It always does."
Winifred held her tighter. "Does this happen a lot?"
Zelda shook her head. She was starting to feel a little better and she felt guilty for worrying her mother-in-law. "Just once in a while. It's not a big deal. It usually happens when I haven't eaten in a while."
"Well when did you eat last?" Winifred asked, still concerned. Zelda had been pale and shaky, but she was getting her color back at least.
"I don't know. This morning," Zelda answered. "I was a little queasy, so I just had toast. I guess maybe that wasn't enough."
"Well, it's almost noon," Winifred looked at her watch and then back at her daughter-in-law. "We are going to eat lunch…right now." They headed across the street to a small café. As they sat down she looked seriously, "You know you have to take better care of yourself," she said gently. "You need to eat more. The baby needs you to eat."
"I try," Zelda explained. "But I'm still sick most mornings. The doctor said it would go away, but it hasn't completely. I don't throw up everyday like I did at first, but I'm still so nauseous I want to just curl up and die."
The waitress came over and took their orders. They both ordered the meatloaf special, and as the waitress walked away, Winifred looked seriously at her daughter-in-law. "If you're that sick…why do you come to the store every day? Honey, you should be home in bed."
Zelda shook her head, "I don't want to be like that." Her eyes were teary and she didn't want to cry. "My mom had eight babies, and she'd never lay around in bed all day. She kept things going. My dad would have been furious if she hadn't." She wiped away a tear that was sliding down her cheek. "I don't want Dobie to think I can't take care of things…that I'm not helpful to him…or that I'm a burden."
"He has no idea you're this sick…does he?" Winifred asked sadly.
Zelda shook her head, "He knows I get sick sometimes. If I actually throw up…I can't really hide that. Early on I couldn't hide it at all, and he was so worried about me. But since the wedding, mostly I'm just queasy and tired and dizzy…he doesn't need to know that. He'd just worry more."
"Of course he does," Winifred argued. "He's your husband…and this is his baby too."
The waitress brought over their food. She could tell their conversation was intense, so she left their plates and didn't say a word.
"I am fine," Zelda insisted. "I don't need to bother him just because I don't feel well sometimes. There's nothing he could do anyway." She took a bite of her mashed potatoes, hoping their conversation would be over now that the food had arrived.
"He could help you," Winifred replied. "He could bring you gingerale, or crackers, or put a cold compress on your head. All of those things can help with morning sickness. He could take care of you."
"I don't want him to take care of me!" Zelda yelled, a little louder than she meant to. "I can take care of myself. I've always taken care of myself. In fact, I used to take care of myself and him. When we were younger…he needed me. I helped him with his homework, helped him get through junior college, got him out of more binds than you can even imagine." Her tears were staining her cheeks and she tried to wipe them away, but they kept flowing. She couldn't stop.
"Zelda…I know you've done a lot for Dobie over the years," Winifred admitted, worried by Zelda's hysterics. "He knows it too. So why can't you just let him help you for a while. Especially now…"
"Because…he doesn't need me anymore," Zelda sobbed. "I used to always think Dobie would eventually fall in love with me because he'd always need me to be there, to help him…but now…"
"He does need you," Winifred said gently. "You're his wife."
Zelda shook her head, "He doesn't. He went to college and he can run the whole pharmacy without me. Heck, I don't even understand what he's doing. He makes all the money. He pays all the bills. He doesn't even have Maynard to get him into trouble anymore. The only thing he needs me for now is working in the store…and if I say I'm too sick for that…"
"Oh…no…" Winifred looked sadly at her daughter-in-law. She knew Zelda had been moody lately, but she had attributed it mostly to hormones. But now, she wondered if it was really something much worse. "Zelda, honey…Dobie does need you. He loves you."
"I know he does," Zelda sniffled. "But I don't want him to feel like I'm a burden to him. I want him to know I am pulling my weight. That he can depend on me."
"He does know he can depend on you," Winifred smiled slightly. "You've always been there for him…you know that and so does he. But honey…right now…you're working on something much more important that taking care of the store. You are growing a little person…someone who is important to every member of this family…and no one can do that but you. So if you have to stop and let Dobie take care of you for a while, then let him. It's the only way he can help bring this little miracle into the world."
Zelda looked into her mother-in-law's eyes and she was overwhelmed by her compassion. She was right, and Zelda knew it. Dobie did love her and he loved the baby and he deserved the chance to take care of them. "I'm sorry," she swallowed the lump in her throat. "All I ever wanted out of life was to marry Dobie," she admitted sadly. "And now…I guess I don't really know how to be a wife."
"Honey," Winifred grabbed her hand and squeezed it, "No one knows at first. You've been married less than a month. You'll get better at it, and he'll get better at being a husband, and together you'll learn how to be parents. Trust me."
Zelda nodded, and hoped her mother-in-law was right.
