Somewhere, in a dark and gloomy location, evil shadows were lurking about, planning, conspiring.
"Right now, the influence of our organisation is growing at an acceptable pace," the leader of those conspirators asked. "Soon, we will establish Akatsuki as a competitor to the major Hidden Villages and bring them to ruin."
"So, will we get stock options, Pein?" another person asked of the leader. "Will Akatsuki go public and have its stocks traded?"
"No." A short and concise answer.
"Tch. At least we get to do countless high paying job for the next six to eight years."
"A greedy blasphemer like you would be subjected to eternal torment in hellfire, Kakuzu."
"Do I look like as if I care, Hidan?"
"The two of you may continue your quarrel afterwards. If there's no question, we will reconvene at a later date…" Pein stopped. He then turned to look at another member, whose blue skin and gill appearance easily made him the most memorable member of the group. "You have a question, Kisame."
It was a statement.
"Well, yeah. The thing is, I've been thinking,"
"Go on."
"Konoha has suffered a large setback due to Kyuubi and compounded by that attack on its security force. Suna is declining due to its daimyo's stupidity. Iwa is still licking its wounds from the previous war. Kumo, well, it's not doing well too. And Kirigakure? Don't get me started on that place. So, right now all of those super powers are not in good conditions due to one reason or another."
"Indeed they are not," Pein agreed.
"So, I'm not questioning your motive or anything, but wouldn't now is the perfect time for us to, you know, capture those tailed beasts in order to carry out our plan, whatever it is? Or is there a real reason why we have to wait for a long time before making our move?"
"There is a compelling reason for us to bide our time."
"So, may I know the reason, or it's one of those things I have to look underneath the underneath?"
"Not at all. The main reason why we're not taking any action right now is because the protagonist is too young."
"Sorry?" Kisame asked, not understanding what he heard.
"As villains, we will take action when the protagonist is at the correct age to resist us. Of course, the unfortunate side effect of waiting for that to happen is other villages apart from Suna and Kirigakure, will have recovered and thus become stronger, but that is inconsequential as long as the protagonist himself is ready."
"Okay, now we're blatantly breaking the fourth wall, but I'm going to pretend not to hear that because I have a bigger issue to focus on. Why must we delay? Couldn't we just cheat, play dirty and do all those nefarious things? We're villains after all. Heck, we're shinobis, we uneven the playing field, literally and figuratively!"
There was a collective sighs echoing throughout the place.
"What?" Kisame asked, affronted by the reaction. "Did I say something wrong?"
"Indeed, we're villains, Kisame," Pein confirmed. "However, please don't mistake being a villain to a normal evil doer or even a dark hero. The differences are as clear as night and day."
"Huh?"
A young blonde shinobi snorted. "I can't believe you don't know the difference, un."
"I don't need an upstart to look down on me, Deidara," Kisame remarked while pointing his finger at the blonde. "And what the hell with that 'un'?"
"Explaining to someone uncultured like you is a waste of my breath, un."
"I'd rather be uncultured rather than sounding like I have constipation problem."
"DAMN, YOU!... un."
"I rest my case."
Akatsuki's members were powerful that a single backhand from anyone of them would be enough to kill a Chunnin-level ninja. So, when two of them were engaging in a childish quarrel, even the members themselves found it a troublesome thing to break them up. It was simpler to just focus things on hand as the two would focus on discussion when it suited them. Pein turned toward a raven-haired kunoichi. "Konan."
"Yes, Pein-sama," Konan acknowledge her name being called as an order. "I will explain. A proper villain is not a mere evil doer per say. For example, all ninjas, whether good or evil, cheats and play dirty since they were to taught to do so. However, only an evil person would do something heinous such as kick a cute puppy. A villain would do that, as well do those other things."
Kisame turned his head away from his verbal sparring partner. "Those other things?"
"First and foremost, a villain must always introduce himself to the protagonist."
"We have to?" came the expected question from the surprised swordsman.
"Think about it, heathen," Hidan said. "If you just go and kill the main character without a proper introduction, how will he know that you're the biggest threat that he has to face?"
"A villain without any identity is just a nameless evil doer." Konan said. "That is why each one of us have to prepare a very lengthy introduction to be given to the main character,"
"We do?" Kisame was more of a 'Hi and now die' kind of person, so he didn't really put much emphasis on his appearance. Of course, being viewed as anthropomorphic shark by some people even though he was a normal human being, as normal as a person with blue skin, shark-like teeth and having gills, Kisame didn't think that he need to do anything to be more noticeable than he already was.
"It's common courtesy to introduce yourself upon meeting your opponent and then tell him all those evil plans you seek to unleash on the world."
Kisame blinked.
"Appearance is everything," Kakuzu added while nodding his head, "Apart from the introduction, what clothing you're wearing when you first appear is also important. How will the enemy take you seriously as a villain if you appear in front of him wearing cheap or even tattered clothing?" He then produced a robe "Look! I've procured sophisticated and expensive-looking black robes that have red clouds motives on them that we can wear as a uniform. They're not functional and doesn't do anything to increase our strength or power, but they made us look more threatening."
There were murmurs of appreciation throughout the place.
"We're also in the process of building a base, which is very expensive and labour-intensive, which necessitates us to undertake high-paying missions to fund the construction," Konan, wearing a pair spectacles which had its frame made from papier-mâché, said while riffling through the documents in her hand. "Your calculation is impeccable, Kakuzu-san."
"Thanks."
"Wait! Wait! Wait" Kisame protested, "Couldn't we forgo having an expensive base?"
Suddenly, the place became so quiet that the former Kiri swordsman found it unnerving. "Did I say something wrong?"
"Kisame," Pein said patiently. "Every villain needs a big and unnecessarily large, spacious base, one that would show that he's powerful."
"Hello?" Kisame said while half-raising his hand. "I think we're quite powerful."
Hidan snorted. "Look at where we are right now, in the middle of a dreary cave, not fit for a follower of Jashin-sama such as me!"
"We want the hero to come, attack the base and be astounded by the sight of the place! He will think that we are very dangerous because not only we have strength and power, we also look the part!" Kakuzu explained. "Can you imagine what will happen if the hero sees that we live in a cave or even worse, a small run down shack? Akatsuki's bad name will be ruined!"
"Don't you mean good name?" Kisame questioned.
"We're villains! Of course I mean bad name."
"Okay… so we're building a very expensive base just so that we can show that we're badass…"
"Also, the base will be equipped with all kinds of traps, such as the classical trap doors on the floor, arrows coming out from the wall and the rolling boulders to ensnare unwary intruders," Sasori said.
"That is out-dated, Sasori-danna, un."
"Art is everlasting."
"Art is a bang. Which is why we need to install explosives all over the base so that when the good guys win, Pein-sama, being the villains' head honcho would give a long monologue about how he would make sure that they would perish with him. After giving the good guys a running start, Pein-sama would activate the base' self-destruct sequence and remain standing in one place like an idiot while laughing maniacally until the ceiling collapsed on him... un."
"That is thoughtful of you," Pein said as he nodded his head. "I appreciate the foresight that went into the planning."
"And we also need to install those high level seals so that our illusions can appear at the base even though we're far away…" Sasori mused. "And then there's the entrance… minions to hire to maintain the place as well as the food to feed them… anti termite treatment… proper ventilation network…"
"We also need to think about the company song," Hidan suddenly added, "I suggest the title 'Praise to Jashin-sama'!"
"Huh. No one cares about Jashin. The song should have a commercial title such as 'Give me your heart' or 'Money talks'," Kakuzu sniffed. "Hey! How about those retirement benefits? Health Insurance? I have five hearts to take care of, so I deserve five times the amount! And we forgot about bonus! We have to talk about bonus!"
As other members began to throw around ideas on how to worsen their organisation's villainy, Pein turned toward Kisame. "Do you understand now? We can't make our move now because there a lot of things to do first."
Kisame merely gawked.
ToN-ToN
ToN-ToN
Sasuke punched the training post with his right fist as hard as he could, anger fuelling the move.
"Again!" A voice called out. "Your way of punching is wrong! Your wrist must be totally straight and firm or else you will break it."
The boy let out a small snort, trying to play down the throbbing pain in the wrist of the hand that performed the imperfect punch, not wanting to give the man who made the comment the satisfaction of being right.
Sasuke was frustrated and that was putting it mildly. Recently he had become an orphan and lost both his father and mother. He wasn't supposed to be informed but a small coincident caused him to overhear the clan elders discussing about 'the possibility of one of ours turning rogue'. The seven-year old wouldn't understand the real meaning of the statement until later, but what he did know at that time was that he really wanted to meet his brother and tell him that their parents were no more.
Itachi had yet to appear though and from what he knew, had been declared as Missing-In-Action. What he also knew was that Shishui, his brother's best friend, had returned from the mission safely. When Sasuke approached him to ask what had happened to his brother, the latter refrained from answering his question and simply left, to his utter confusion. The day after that, the young heir found out that he was to be tutored by Shishui exclusively who then proceeded to turn his day-to-day life into a nightmare. The training programme introduced by the elder Uchiha was so gruesome that Sasuke found himself eager to go to the Academy which ceased to be a boring place and had become a temporary retreat for him from the said treatment.
He broke down one day and demanded to know why Shishui was being a prick to him and for the man to tell him the whereabouts of his brother. In response, Shishui grabbed him by the collar in a manner one would hold a mangy cat and raised him to the eye level.
"Hn."
Shishui then threw him into a nearby lake and merely watched as Sasuke sputtered and struggled to keep afloat. That dump into the water constituted Sasuke's one and only 'swimming lesson' and he quickly learned that whenever he did something that displeased the Teme, or 'Shishui-sensei' as he was forced to call the asshole, he would be thrown into the pond. In the end, Sasuke learned that he had to restrain himself as being soaked to the bone while undergoing training made the session harder than usual.
"Do another hundred sets, perfectly or else we'll restart from zero. Then you're to practice your sad excuse of hand seals before we move on to the next lesson."
Stupid Shishui, making his life miserable. Just he wait. One day, Sasuke would become strong enough and he would turn the table on the man. He would be sure to find a lake infested with crocodiles first.
That said lake would also be perfect place to dump all those older, icky girls who started to follow him around, cooing 'Sasuke-kun' in high-pitch voice all the time. He didn't know what caused them to start following him around but what he did notice was that they started doing so right after Shishui-teme began to tort.., er, train him.
Something hit his head, breaking Sasuke out of his reverie, before dropping to the ground nearby. Whatever hit him wasn't that hard but left a damp mark at the spot. He looked down and saw a half-splattered tomato. He turned to glare at the person who threw it only to receive a hit to the face, this time a rotten one.
He would make sure the crocodiles were starved first before he threw that man into the lake.
ToN-ToN
ToN-ToN
Hiruzen took a leisurely stroll toward the place, enjoying the slow and relaxed pace he was taking. While he could have simply watched what was going on through his scrying orb, he has to go outside of his office sometimes since it wouldn't do to be cooped up in the office doing paperwork all day long. Besides, he would prefer to watch in person the progress of Naruto, his favourite foster grandson, in the art of shinobi after Jounin Kariya Tomoe began her work as his mentor. After all, it was his job as Hokage to safeguard the king as well.
The king of Konoha. Unbidden, memory of his wayward son came to the mind.
Brash and unfortunately, stupid, Asuma had questioned many things that Hiruzen did, without really trying to understand the real reason behind it. For example, the younger Sarutobi had accused his father of being soft to Uchiha clan, even though the clan, in Asuma's opinion, was being arrogant and had big sticks up their collective asses. Hiruzen wanted to explain the truth of the matter, but couldn't as it involved a secret that needed to be kept for the sake of the village that it superseded familial bonds.
Hiruzen couldn't explain the truth, so he tried another approach: he told Asuma that the later didn't fully understand the Will of Fire because he had yet to find out about the 'King of Konoha'.
Soon after, Asuma went to join Twelve Guardian Ninja, a group that was assign to safeguard Land of Fire's daimyo, probably thinking that his father was referring to the Daimyo when talking about the said king.
Idiot.
The 'King' referred to the principal reason that would motivate each Konoha shinobi to fight for the sake of the village. The 'King' may differ from each person to another but what mattered was they were willing to fight for those beliefs. For example, Jiraiya once stated that he fought to protect the sanctity of the village's open air baths so that he could go and peek on women bathing in them. While the statement sounded ridiculous and more importantly, not altruistic at all, no one could deny the pervert's skills and capabilities. For Hiruzen, his 'King' was everyone in the village. Thus, it was his job to ensuring the safety of everyone in the village to his best ability. One of the steps he had taken to achieve that was to develop the future protector of Konoha whom he was about to visit.
After few minutes more, Hiruzen finally arrived to the clearing of the training ground where Kariya and Naruto were using.
His blood curdled.
Naruto was standing face to face against a very large black bear. The said bear was standing on its hind legs while its right arm was raised, poised to strike. Instantly, Hiruzen pumped chakra into his legs, launching himself at the imminent threat to the young child he considered his own grandson. However, the distance between protector of the village and the bear was too far away that he couldn't probably couldn't make it in time to save Naruto…
"Okay, you may answer the question," Naruto said to the bear.
"Kuma!" the bear uttered somewhat happily as it dropped down and moved to a blackboard next to Naruto. It then picked a piece of chalk and then started writing the said board.
Hiruzen crashed into the ground.
After the dust from his impromptu crash had settled, Hiruzen got up and finally noticed that apart from the bear, there were a snake, a squirrel and cat gathered around the boy as well as Tomoe who was hugging her knees to the chest, rocking herself slowly. He cautiously made his way to the place, not relinquishing his hold on the kunai that had found itself into his hand. When he got close enough to the group, he could hear Tomoe was muttering about how she was more stupid than the average bear.
"Rowr!" the bear said as it finished writing and replaced the chalk.
"Thank you," Naruto said as the said animal return to its place. He then looked over the bear's writing. "Okay, good effort, though not very accurate. Remember, the question is 'a 9 kilogram monkey jumped from a 10 meter high tree. What is the impulse of the said monkey when it hit the ground with the given collision time is 0.1 second'?"
Strangely, the animals nodded as if understanding what was being said.
"Now, what our friend calculated is the momentum of the monkey just before he made contact to the ground. To get the impulse, he has to divide that momentum with the collision time," Naruto explain as he appended the writing.
The bear put a paw on its face, as if embarrassed.
"Good try, though. If the collision time is 1 second then the answer would have been correct." Naruto said, placating it. "Now, what is the application of this knowledge?"
"Hiiiissssss!" the snake answered.
"Good answer. When you drop on a prey, you have to increase the collision time to prevent injury to yourself."
The snake nodded its head, as if pleased.
Naruto then noticed Hiruzen walking toward them. "Okay, the today's lesson ends here. We'll continue it at the same time tomorrow."
All of the animals nodded in his direction and then began leaving the place. The bear moved slowly toward Hiruzen who tightened his grip on the kunai. When the bear was close enough to strike him, the animal stopped, looked at him, raised a single paw and let out a short 'Growf' at the man before continuing on its way.
The bear greeted him? Wait, didn't the bear looked like the ones normally found on the Forest of Death? The man-eating bears whose swipes can cut a grown man into two?
"Hey, Jiji!" Naruto said while waving his arm.
Hiruzen made his way to the boy. "Is that a bear that greeted me just now?"
The boy laughed. "You like to joke around, Jiji."
"I thought so." He must be getting senile to be imagining such a thing.
"Of course it's a bear and his name is Alphonse de Gallant the Fourth."
"I'm afraid of that, and I'm also astonished with the fact that it has such a grandiose name." He thought about the absurdity of the situation. "So, what is this Alphonse, a bear I should mention, doing learning things from you? It's something you don't normally see every day."
"Well, he's interested, so I guess why not."
"A bear?"
"That day, I saw an ANBU talking to one of his dogs and the dog talked back."
"Right." If ninja's summon animals could talk, why couldn't normal animal learn?
Hiruzen decided to quickly abandon thinking about that fact. Now, if his sight didn't fail him, the snake that was near Naruto just now was a mamushi, a type of pit viper whose venom could kill the boy instantly. Wait, something wasn't right with what he saw just now. "Wasn't there a squirrel next to the snake just now?"
"Yes?"
"Snakes eat squirrels, and yet the squirrel was safe."
Naruto laughed again, a hand behind his head. "Of course. Everyone knows only people eat excessively, not animals. The snake already had its breakfast before coming in so there's no problem."
Ouch. That bit about human's tendency to waste things hurt a bit to hear coming from a young boy. "That bear - the bear eat people, you know."
"Oh!" Naruto said while putting his left fist on the right palm. "No wonder he told me that he would like to take me out for lunch."
Hiruzen felt that ping of headache at Naruto's answer. "You don't find the fact that the bear eat people strange?" He said, attempting to explain to the boy the risks of being near man-eating bears, forgetting the fact that Naruto had Tomoe, who at that time was still in her little world, to guard him as well as the ability to outrun the bear.
"I saw few shops in Konoha selling bear organs and body parts for consumption, so I think it goes both ways. Besides, the bears will say grace before eating us, so…"
"Yup, must be getting senile to be having such a conversation." He shifted his attention to Tomoe who was still rocking herself slowly. "What happened to her?"
"I don't know," Naruto said as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "All I know is…"
"Naruto," Kariya Tomoe said to her young charge who was listening in rapt attention. "Today, we're going to be practicing method to throw a kunai." She then pointed at a target on a faraway post, purposely selecting it because it's distance from them: kids like it when they saw something awesome, so she was going to show off her skill a bit. The former ANBU settled into a throwing stance. "Now, watch me as I throw the kunai at the target. Ready?"
"Okay!"
At the signal, the kunai flew from her hand and pierced the dead centre of the target with a meaty metallic sound. She grinned at the target. "See?" she said as she turned toward Naruto.
The kid wasn't at his position.
"Wow!" Naruto called, and the woman turned toward the voice to see that he was already next to the target. "That's impressive, the way the kunai is embedded up to its handle."
"Of course," Tomoe said even as she mentally smacked her head: how could she forget the periodic exercises involving the ANBU chasing the boy? "And you're going next."
A second later, Naruto had already moved back to his original spot. "Let me try!" he said excitedly.
Tomoe handed the boy a kunai. "Okay, let's see," she said as she search for a suitable target. "Maybe you can try that one," she said as she pointed at a target five meters away from them.
"Eh, but I want to try hitting the target you hit," Naruto whined.
"But that's too far for you. You're still a kid," she replied, taking into account the boy's still developing psyche.
"I want to try!"
"Try the nearer one"
"Farther one!"
"Nearer!"
"Farther!"
"Nearer!"
"Nearer!"
"Farther! And if you don't want to listen to my instruction and hit the nearer target, I'm not going to teach you cool things!"
"Okay, farther it is," Naruto said happily.
Tomoe sulked as she realised the slipup she made. "Fine! I'm going to laugh if you don't hit the target," she said childishly.
The whiskered boy balanced the kunai between his hands, testing its weight and heft. He then looked at the ground at his feet and then at the base of the target. He closed his eyes while his mouth opened and closed, as if talking voicelessly. After ten seconds, he opened his eyes, adopted a stance Tomoe associated with a samurai throwing a spear, and threw his kunai at a high angle.
The boy's minder wondered why he threw the kunai in that manner. Unlike Tomoe's own throw which was a blur due to its high speed, Naruto's kunai flew slowly through the air upward and away from the boy until it reached the peak of its height before beginning to descend.
"Thunk!" The kunai hit at the edge of the target.
"How?" Tomoe asked in awe. Despite missing the bulls-eye, her charge still managed to hit the target, something a normal genin couldn't do.
"Well, it's a simple parabolic equation," Naruto said as he wrote strange symbols on blackboard that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "Discounting wind disturbance which is negligible since there wasn't any just now, we can just use the parabolic formula - ax^2 + bx + c. Knowing the kunai's weight and the approximate speed of my hand movement and so on, I can calculate the exact trajectory so that the kunai will land on the board. Well, hitting it dead in the centre is beyond me due to my current skill, but that's why you're here to teach me, right?"
Tomoe's mouth hung open in shock. What did the academy teach students those days?
"And that's basically it," Naruto finished.
"Hm… I see," Hiruzen said while nodding his head. Trust Naruto to come up with some gibberish so that he could throw a kunai far. The boy could have just used his speed when throwing the weapon so that it would travel in a straight line… "Wait! That didn't explain how a bear, a venomous snake, an alley cat and a squirrel appeared in front of you, learning this 'para… ugh, para…'
"Para Para Dance?"
"No... Para-what you said just now?"
"Parabolic formula."
"Yes, that!" Hiruzen was known as the God of Shinobi, of that there was no doubt. However, there had yet to be anyone referring him as the God of Multiplication Table.
"Oh, the bear was passing through while I was explaining to Tomoe-neechan about the basic mathematics' involved in my calculation and joined in because it wanted to learn how to throw a stone at killer bee's hive to drop it from far away without risking them attacking him."
"The mamushi?" Come to think of it, the snake also look similar to those found in the Forest of Death.
"Oh, he wanted to know what is the maximum distance he would travel when he jump from a tree to attack unsuspecting chunnin candidates travelling through the Forest of Death during Chunnin Examination, whatever that event is, so that he can teach it to his family and friends. He's also interested in learning how to calculate the median lethal dose of his venom when administered to the said chunnin candidates."
Hiruzen made a note to himself to cancel the upcoming chunnin examination that was supposed to be held in Konoha in another six months. Maybe the next year or the other one or until he retire or at the very least forget about Naruto told him; a lot of sake would probably help with the last part. "The cat?"
"He was curious."
"The squirrel?"
"He's a numbers nut."
"… right… Good to see you doing well, Naruto," Hiruzen said as he ruffled Naruto's hair absently before taking some money and handed it to the boy. "Here, take Tomoe-neechan to lunch," he said as he began to walk away.
"Okay!" the future ninja said while looking at the money in his hand. "Wait, don't you want to know why Tomoe-neechan became like that?"
"Ah, paperwork! Paperwork! So much paperwork to do! Happy, happy paperwork to do!" Hiruzen sang merrily and more important, loud enough that he couldn't hear what Naruto was saying next.
"How I miss the monotony of paperwork already!"
ToN-ToN
ToN-ToN
Two months had passed and the academy had resumed, albeit with a sombre atmosphere permeating throughout it. After all, if the police force, the highly skilled guardian of the village was attacked by an unknown enemy, what to prevent the enemy or other various threats from attacking the village?
Despite the gloomy atmosphere, one boy remained himself, hands fiddling with some metal things with a long, thin cigarette in his mouth. And that was the situation where Hinata Hyūga found him. The boy piqued her interest because he seemed oblivious to what other people were feeling at that time. And then, there's another thing that disturbed her. "Um, ano…no… no… no… no… no…. no…"
Naruto turned toward her. "Why do you sound like a broken record?"
"I'm supposed to have a stammer… mer… mer… mer… mer…"
"You sound more like an echo rather having a stammering problem."
"But… But… But… But… But…"
"Now you're beginning to creep me out by telling me your sexual preference even though the two of us are still kids and aren't supposed to display such behaviour." Naruto closed the distance between the two of them and pinched her cheek.
"Yi!" Hinata shrieked in alarm.
"There you go. Your problem is not that bad," Naruto proclaimed confidently. "Or else you would have stammered that one as well. I also would like to say that I don't find your stammering problem cute. After all, no good people will find someone's personal problem to be cute because it's insulting to the other person. You are cute, and I like your personality as well, but you really have to fix your problem, Hyūga-san."
Hinata's whole body began to flush red as she replayed his compliment in her mind over and over, all the while missing the other part of the sentence.
Naruto flicked her forehead, eliciting a yelp of pain from her. "Now, please don't go faint on me every time I say something nice about you. You would have other people think that I did something very bad to you, even though it would take me another eight years before I begin to find girls attractive. You don't want to get me into trouble, do you?"
The Hyūga heiress shook her head vigorously in denial.
"Now, you're just shy and not sure what to say. That's normal. Just think about what you're going to say in your mind, repeat it and then say it out loud."
Hinata looked unsure.
"Try it. I'll wait," Naruto persuaded her.
Nodding, she closed her eyes. "Ano…" she began, "Uzumaki-san?"
"Yes?"
"My father said that a kid shouldn't smoke."
"Okay… why are you telling me that?"
Hinata opened her eyes wide and began talking, "During the class session just now, I saw you with a cigarette in your mouth. Although you didn't light it up, it got me thinking that you follow the bad example from someone else. But to have displayed such a negative thing to an impressionable child, you know, it's something that an adult isn't supposed to do because…"
"And just like that, she lost her stammer," Naruto said to himself amidst her long tirade about why an adult should show a good example to a child.
Ten minutes later,
"And that is why I feel strongly against you smoking at this age!" Hinata concluded with conviction in her voice.
"I wasn't smoking, Hinata-chan," Naruto said as he brought out a small box and opened it, revealing sticks similar to what he ate just now. "These are chocolate-coated biscuit sticks, not cigarettes. It's Pocky, my newest favourite food."
"I thought your favourite food is ramen?"
The blonde academy student looked at his classmate quizzically. "Wow! How do you know about that?"
"Er…" Since she was only an amateur stalker, a very young at that, she has yet to develop the capability to lie through her teeth. A few years later, not then, Hinata would grow up to become an experienced stalker, but still with underdeveloped capability to lie. Besides, lying to someone she respected didn't feel right. Her best defence was to go on offence and that included redirecting his attention away. "I s…s…s…s"
The stammer was ended by another pinch to the cheek. "Don't be a snake now,"
"Ow…" Hinata said while rubbing her chin. "I saw you at a ramen shop yesterday."
"Oh." Unlike Naruto's ANBU minders, Hinata's still growing chakra coil and lack of 'intent' basically rendered her stalking undetectable to him. It was like being watched by a tiger and a hamster at the same time; one would be forgiven not to notice the hamster since the tiger would certainly attract more urgent attention. "Well, my favourite are ramen, udon, and pocky, and dango, teriyaki and many more!"
"Shouldn't you have only one favourite food?"
Naruto tsked and wagged his finger. "That is naïve. Just because you like something very much, doesn't mean you don't have something else that you like so much. Do you love you father?"
The girl nodded. Her father can be very strict when training her but she still loved him.
"Don't you have someone else?"
"My late mother and my sister."
"So do you like them very much?"
"So, they're your favourite people, right?"
Hinata's eyes widened. For a normal child, such a concept was something new. So when she said that her food was mochi, only mochi was something she preferred. But since Naruto-kun pointed out that she can have more than one favourite people. Using the same argument, she could have more than one favourite food! What a discovery! She could have candy as her favourite food as well.
While such revelation could be considered trivial to adults, sometimes such a trivial thing would play a major factor in the personality development of a child. Just like a puppy barking happily at a six-year old child caused him to develop cynophobia or fear of dogs which could last even into adulthood, Hinata's finding out that she could have more than one favourite food would eventually lead to her adopting a more flexible approach to her future shinobi development.
Naruto was about say something else when he remembered something. He glanced around before reaching inside his bag. "Have one," he whispered as he handed an unopened box of Pocky to Hinata.
Hinata's eyebrows furrowed. "Why are you whispering?" She whispered back.
"Because I suddenly remembered that I'm not supposed to show to anyone that I have Pocky on my person,"
"Why?"
"Dunno. All I know is that the one gave me told me not to let anyone find out. It's a secret between the two of us, okay?" Naruto said conspiratorially.
Sharing secret with someone else! It was the first time in her whole life Hinata felt like she was training to be a ninja! Yes, her family was known for producing top-notch shinobis and kunoichis but she has yet to see them do something ninja-like such as wear dark colours or utilising ninja weapons instead of trying to beat their enemies with taijutsu. Let it be known that the young girl would never look down on her family' Juuken technique, but the book she read mentioned that shinobis and kunoichis were supposed to kill enemy quietly and stealthily. The thing was, juuken was anything but quiet and stealthy. For example, Kaiten, one of its hisatsu wazas, or the deadly arts as the civilians called them, required the user to be in the middle of a field without any obstruction in order to be effective. Of course, one could perform it near a river bank, or while being cornered at the edge of a cliff by the hostile combatants but, well, one could imagine what would happen.
So, to be doing something shinobi-like for the first time gave her a burst of thrill. Perhaps in the future she would be assigned to a very cool stalking, correction, intelligence gathering mission where she would utilize her skill to trail a suspect to find out what diabolical plan he was going to do, something like those detective stories she had heard so much. Maybe she could recruit Naruto-kun for such missions! After all, he know how do something ninja-like so…
"IT IS THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH!" a shout came from somewhere outside the school, distracting Hinata from her thought.
"It's that weirdo again," a blonde girl wearing bright purple dress, Ino was it?, said while looking out of the window.
"Yea, Ino-chan," Sakura, the girl with colourful pink hair whose bright red clothes were suitable for a birthday party rather than a raid party or rescue party, said in agreement. "My father said that person is a powerful shinobi."
"Oh, I heard that there's another one who's always reading orange-coloured book that is quite strong too."
Further discussion was cut short when the door opened and Sawada Aohime-sensei entered the class. "Okay class," she began after the customary greeting by the students were over. "Today we're going to learn about the importance of using flashy, loud and energy-wasting jutsus and why we should always favour them over using stealthy and ambush attacks."
"Yay, large, flashy and energy-wasting jutsus!" Kiba cheered to the agreement of most boy students and few girl students as well.
Unfortunately for Hinata, during her growing up years, she would have a lot of 'good role models' to learn from.
ToN-ToN
ToN-ToN
Tomoe put a hand on her forehead and let out an exasperated breath as she looked at the Naruto-size dent at the large oak tree as the person who caused it began to slowly slide down the trunk. Respect and obedience aside, sometimes she felt that Hokage-sama was really short-changing her by assigning such a difficult mission of teaching Naruto to become a shinobi. The Jounin took solace in the fact that she found a kindred spirit in the form of Naruto's class teacher who immediately proposed that they became oath sisters when the latter found out about her assignment.
She was seriously considering it because she needed the mental support as much as she could.
Naruto proved to be a very problematic child.
If Naruto had a learning problem, it would have been far easier to solve. However, Naruto was genius. And that was what made it problematic to teach him as his genius wasn't comparable to any genius that Konoha had, be it Hatake Kakashi, Uchiha Itachi or even, is she dared to venture, Namikaze Minato. The three of them were genius in their own rights in the field of shinobi but Naruto… When she was assigned as the boy's guard she felt that he was a weird child; since she was assigned as his mentor, she couldn't begin to describe him. She doubted anyone else including Hokage-sama could too.
Well, on the positive side, teaching Naruto the shinobi art was rather easy. Naruto's innate speed alone could have made him a credible threat foe even to seasoned taijutsu master. After all, all those fancy-mancy techniques were useless if they couldn't stop a single jab delivered at a very high speed. Of course, no one would be afraid of a small boy's punch. However, put a kunai into the boy's hand, and his lethality increased ten-fold.
Putting that kunai into his hand would be a long term project though as her progress in teaching him would be faster if she stopped trying to mould him into a shinobi and instead just give him the tools and skills in the hope that Naruto himself will made that important choice. After all, she had already succeeded in getting him interested in trap by dropping carefully worded and timed suggestions that making trap-making required inventive skills, something that not many people have. The boy took it as a personal challenge to come up with as many indigenous traps as he could, which was a good thing. The bad thing was that as with his inventions, Naruto's traps tend to sprung themselves on the boy; one of those went off prematurely a few seconds prior, leading to the creation of that dent on the tree.
Well, as long as his life and, more importantly, her own sanity weren't in real danger, Tomoe was content in letting the boy test any trap he created first. Once a trap was deemed stable and safe enough, she would inform the ANBU headquarters to send in an idiot to try it.
She had received numerous offers to bypass the headquarters and instead deal directly with those who made the offers.
Naruto's traps were popular among ANBUs not because the ANBUs were crazy. They were crazy, of course, but that wasn't the reason why they wanted to be the one to test the traps. Being very experienced in shinobi warfare, they were quite adept at trap making themselves that normal traps ceased to be threatening and instead became something of a ho-hum. Most of the popular traps either have ninja wires, kunais, seal tags or combination of those that many experienced shinobis and kunoichis could enter a place and immediately predict where the triggers would be placed and direction where an attack would come from. Being predictable made the traps boring and the shinobi trying to spot them become complacent, counterintuitively endangering the life of the said shinobi.
What if a trap was set so that it wouldn't kill or maim but instead caused a dose of potent catnip to be discretely sprayed at the heel area? The trap wasn't dangerous and thus was more likely to be unnoticeable. However, later on, the mark would suddenly find himself being chased by numerous amorous cats in the area and thus had his cover blown. Or perhaps that other trap where one of the inconspicuously hidden ninja wires had to be triggered to deactivate the trigger of an area-wide trap? How about a carefully placed dog poo that would made that loud, gross and wet squelching sound when stepped upon? Now, trying to find and outsmart such diabolical inventions; that was exciting!
To have a talented boy already producing traps to ensnare ANBUs: Tomoe was as proud as any older sister would be.
An older sister.
It would be nice to have such an annoying kid as a brother. It would have been nicer if her mother was still alive as she could have brought Naruto to her house to introduce to her. A former kunoichi herself, her mother would be more understanding of Naruto's status.
Maybe she could have introduce Naruto as her future fiancé, she thought naughtily, while looking down at the golden bracelets on her wrists. While she was impartial to gap in age between partners in a relationship, Tomoe wasn't a shota-con. It's just that the way Naruto presented the bracelets, or as he insisted 'rings' to her would have looked like a marriage proposal, minus the kneeling down and flowers. After all, when a man asked a woman whether she would wear his ring, it signified that he wanted to her to be his wife, right?
So, when he had asked her, she teased by telling him while she was touched, he was too young to be in the way of the family. He told him that rings were not for 'the way of the family' and instead was intended for her safety.
Humouring the boy, she put on the 'rings' which quickly adjusted themselves to her wrists, to her alarm. Effort to remove them were futile as the two accessories phased out; she could see them, could touch them but when she tried to pull them off, her fingers went through them. Distraught, Tomoe had approached Hokage-sama regarding the matter after she finished teaching Naruto and was surprised to discover that her leader as well as Jiraiya-sama knew about the existence of the items but weren't sure what they were and how they function. Since there was no proof that they were dangerous and having them on were not inconveniencing her, it was decided to simply let them be.
There was another option, which was to go seek help from Konoha Research Bureau, but even she wasn't that crazy.
ToN-ToN
ToN-ToN
That day, all of the important people were gathered in one place for one reason: to see what he has to say. If he was the old him, them being there would stroke his ego as he would feel that he was one step closer to becoming Hokage. But then, he was a changed man, no longer coveting the position as the supreme ruler of the village and instead dedicated his energy in pursue of science.
But his ego still received a massive boost; being one of the legendary three nins meant mountain-size ego. Why shouldn't he? After all, what he was going to reveal would change the history of Konoha and inevitably, the world. After all, that was his real plan; rather than leave a legacy for Konoha, he was going to leave a legacy in the field of science as large as the legacy left by the Sage of the Six Paths in shinobi world. But enough of self-appeasement. The plebeians were waiting for his words.
"If today we go to war, we're going to win the war because we have the best men. And because they are going to get better. Much better. The Strategic Scientific Initiatives is a Konoha Reasearch Bureau's effort made up of the best minds in the shinobi world. Our goal is to create the best army in history. But every army starts with one man. At the end of this today, we will create that man. He will be the first in a new breed of super-soldier."
"Fuwah," a recently promoted to Chuunin rank Anko uttered in amazement at the speech. "He's really milking this for propaganda purposes, isn't he?"
Kabuto, wearing his lab coat over his normal shinobi gear, adjusted his spectacle with his middle finger. "To be honest, I don't know which one is more amazing: the fact that everyone is hearing his speech closely or the fact that he's too cheap to pay his own speech writer and instead stole it from a movie that he watched without paying for the ticket."
A man dressed in dark green uniform walked into everyone's view. The flak jacket he wore was similar to the one normally worn by chuunins and jounins except that the utility pockets were slightly slanted diagonally to allow better access by the opposite hand. His face was mostly covered by a matching green mask, except for the areas around his eyes, mouth and nose. The forehead protector had a Konoha symbol on it which was also on the right and left upper arm sides of the uniform. Something that attracted the attention of everyone present was that the man carried a large folded fuuma shuriken in the manner that allowed him to use it as a shield to protect against certain physical attacks.
"Now, I present to you," Orochimaru continued, "the culmination of Konoha Research Bureau excellence in technological field, the pride of the village itself: Konoha Taichou!"
"Captain Konoha?" Anko repeated.
Kabuto shrugged as the seals set on some walls went off with small popping sounds, showering the whole place with confetti as energetic tune played in the background.
"Konoha Taichou, the First Avenger!" Orochimaru announced. "The super protector of the village."
"A super hero?" Anko questioned her fellow colleague.
"We managed to awaken the Magenkyo Sharingan in him and basically bumped him from A level shinobi to SS level, so what Orochimaru said isn't that farfetched." Kabuto explained amidst the sannin's long-winding snake-oil-selling speech to everyone else.
"How do you get him to awaken that fabled eyes of his? I thought that he's supposed to kill someone close to him?"
"That's because the clan didn't understand the real activation method. Currently, there are conflicting reports about the activation, from killing one's brother, one's wife, one's best friend and even one's favourite goldfish. There's also another suggestion that it's not necessary to kill them but instead watch them die. All of those are fallacies."
"Fallacies?"
"Bullshits."
"Ah! Why didn't you say so earlier?"
"I did."
"So, why do you say the conditions are bullshits?"
"If those conditions are real, then activating Magenkyo Sharingan is very easy that every single Uchiha who have Sharingan can manifest Magenkyo."
"Huh?" Anko said, confused. "How?"
"Simple. All we need to do is put the Uchiha into an intricate genjutsu where he killed someone dear to him and," Kabuto snapped his finger, something characteristically out of character for him, "instant Magenkyo. Remember, Sharingan means the wielder is resistant but not immune to genjutsu. Or else, we can have a Yamanaka dive into their minds and create false memories. Or if the theory of watching someone you love die really holds water, we don't need to resort to such measures. We just let an Uchiha watch his father or mother or close family member die due to natural reason…"
"And Magenkyo will be awakened as well," Anko said. "But that's not the case. So, the conditions aren't really important?"
"Yes, and for a while we also tested the hypothesis that physical pain can be used to invoke it."
"How do you do that?"
"We tortured Itachi two days straight."
"Hoi!" Anko semi-shouted, then upon realising what she had done, shrunk looking around her nervously. It was a good thing that her sensei's self-promotion speech was loud enough that no one really pay attention to her "Isn't that illegal?" she whispered.
"We got permission from the bigwig himself and Itachi volunteered. That experiment didn't yield anything, apart from satisfying Orochimaru-sama's sadistic side, but it also led his final hypothesis. In the case of the genjutsu, even though the test subject managed to manifest it, it only last as long as the genjutsu. That is the first key point. The second is the analysis we did after the attack on the police force that day where many Uchiha officers were killed but surprisingly not a single family member developed Magenkyo. Taking those two together, he come up with the hypothesis that it's the trauma that the person experienced that makes the difference."
"But we already have traumatised Uchihas running around, yet no Magenkyo."
"Because there's another human factor we missed. A wife may be grieved by her husband's death, but she would be distracted by the plight of her children that that even if she had the capability to awaken her Magenkyo, she wouldn't. The trauma must be great, yes, but at the same time must cause the person to make a resolve so great that it overwhelms everything else. That is why someone with not many attachments like Itachi has the biggest potential to develop it."
"So, what did you guys do to get him to awaken it?"
"We sealed his chakra, tied him up and hung him on a tree in a way that he had to remain standing on the front part of his feet. Then we put a seal set to go off when he put his feet down."
"A seal?"
"The seal is connected to a series of exploding seals installed inside a warehouse which was in his full view all the time. When he was forced to finally put his feet down after ten days, the warehouse and everything else inside it exploded."
Anko looked at Kabuto incredulously. "That's all, Itachi detonated a measly warehouse and boom, Magenkyo? And how could he remain standing in such an excruciating position for ten days straight?"
"Ah, but you don't understand," Kabuto said while smiling malevolently. "The warehouse is special."
"Special?"
"The warehouse contains a six months' supply of Pocky for the village. With Itachi's own hands or rather his own feet, he had destroyed his Pocky."
"And he got Magenkyo handed to him just like that?"
"The eyes signify his resolve to protect what is dearest to him."
"He got Magenkyo and then become Konoha Taichou for the sake of… Pocky?" Anko asked, still trying to deny what she had heard.
"For the sake of the normal flavours as well as the seasonal and limited editions."
"But… Pocky?"
"A Wholesome Life in the Best of Taste."
1
Author's note.
1. I remembered reading some story where Hinata stammered and Naruto found her stammering so cute. I admit I haven't seen all Naruto anime episodes, but did she really stutter? Or did she starts 'Um... a-ano... Naruto-kun'? I personally remember the latter.
2. No one in Naruto-verse is omniscient, including Sage, or else there wouldn't be any conflict. So, despite being called 'Professor', Hiruzen is probably wasn't well-versed in physics. I do welcome any proof contrary to my statement though.
3. Smarter than the average bear quip comes from Yogi Bear show.
4. Para-para dance is a dance that originated in Japan, emphasizing arms movements rather than body and legwork (though the dance may incorporate the movements). Naruto's asking Hiruzen whether the later meant Para-Para Dance (even though Hiruzen was searching for 'parabolic equation') is actually a small joke by itself. As stated, Para-Para Dance emphasize arm movement. What did Naruto used to throw the kunai? Yes, his arm.
5. Orochimaru's speech was modified from Captain America : The First Avengers movie.
6. I do notice that in some fics, Sharingan users are stated to be immune from genjutsus. Didn't the fight between Sasuke and Itachi involved them entrapping each other in genjutsus?
7. Itachi is the Avenger in this fic, not Sasuke.
8. Japanese companies used to have these sessions where the employees would sing the company song in the very same manner as one would sing a national anthem. It declined due to the change in the Japanese corporate world in 1990s but recently there have been resurgence in the practice.
9. I admit that I don't know why Akatsuki didn't attack earlier. Is there a real logical reason given in canon?
10. Just like the canon, the theory about Magenkyo in this story is purposely riddled with plot holes.
11. 'A Wholesome Life in the Best of Taste' is the corporate tagline of Glico, the maker of Pocky. No, this chapter is not an advert but I find it rather fitting to end it with the tagline.
