···

Hunter eyes

I'm lost and hardly noticed, slight goodbye

I want to rip your lips off in my mouth

And even in my greatest moment, doubt

the line between deceit and right now

Simple math,

it's how our bodies even got here

Sinful math,

the ebb and flow to multiply

Carly rushed over to the couch, worry plain on her face.

"What's wrong Sam?" she asked. I to shook my head, clinging Mitchell. He patted my back, trying to calm me down. I could tell he wasn't sure what was wrong with me either.

I'm a mess. That's what's wrong.

Carly sat next to Mitchell, hoping to get some sort of answer from me but I refused. Freddie sat down on the other side of Carly, trying not to look at me though I saw him sneak a few glances. He turned on the TV.

"Maybe some mindless entertainment will make her feel better," he muttered, looking through the guide. He chose E! because Keeping Up With the Kardashians was on. It caused me to smile to know he remembered one of my guilty pleasures.

"I don't think Sam'll want to watch this. I don't even watch this crap," Carly said, reaching her hand out to take the remote from Freddie.

"No," I said in that soft voice you get after crying. "Leave it. This'll do." Carly shrugged, still looking worried for me. She kept glaring at Mitchell like he was the source of my hurt. The irony made me smile internally.

There was a marathon so I was distracted by the somewhat superficial shenanigans of Kardashian family. That was until I noticed Carly and Freddie silently talking to each other. They both had wide smiles and Carly kept inching closer to Freddie.

It felt like I couldn't breathe and I kept repeating in my head that this was the way things were supposed to be. Freddie and Carly were supposed to be together. And I...I'd be okay as soon as I got over him.

But how did this unborn baby fit into it all?

I turned back to the TV, blanking my mind of any thoughts. I was tired of all the mind cramps I was giving myself.

Mitchell gently pushed me off his lap, next to Carly. I looked at him, my eyes wide and scared.

"I gotta go home," he announced to all of us. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." He leaned down to hug me. "Call me if it gets too much," he whispered. I nodded, smiling. Mitchell smiled at Carly and Freddie and gave them a small wave. After he was gone, Carly moved closer to me.

"Did Mitchell do something?" she asked. I looked at her with my eyes watering. I was so over this crying thing. Yet for some reason it never ended.

I sighed, rolling my eyes. A tear came down.

"No Carly. Mitchell didn't do anything," I replied.

"Well, are you guys dating? I think you guys would be perfect for each other," she suggested. I laughed.

"Nah. I don't think we'll ever date."

"Why not?" Carly continued to question. I looked at her. She was really trying to push me with Mitchell.

"Because he's gay," I answered. Both Carly and Freddie's eyes widened. "He didn't want to tell you guys because frankly, he doesn't like either of you but I just wanted to clear some things up," I said, looking straight at Freddie. Freddie stared back at me. I'm pretty sure both of our faces were expressionless. I looked away first, turning back to the TV.

"Oh. Well...uh, "Carly was at a loss for words. "I'm gonna go get some iced tea. Anyone want one?"

"Yeah," Freddie said as I shook my head. Carly got up but turned back around abruptly.

"Wait. So if it isn't Mitchell, then what's going on Sam?" she asked. I looked up at her.

"You know, stuff," I said. I looked down at the TV to let her know that was all I was gonna say. I heard her sigh and walk into the kitchen. I picked up the remote and changed it to the HBO channels. (500) Days of Summer and Inception were both on. It picked up my moos, featuring some of my favorite actors and two of my favorite movies. (A/N: I was flipping through these two movies while writing this. Hee hee XP)

Freddie moved closer to me while I watched the hotness that is Joseph Gordon-Levitt play two sexy-in-their-own-way, different characters.

"Sam," he started, his voice low. I turned toward him. "Are you okay?" His voice sounded like he was genuinely concerned and my heart was fluttering. Fluttering? Oh god.

"I'm...really scared and confused," I admitted, surprising myself. Freddie didn't look surprised. He leaned forward boldly, pressing his forehead against mine. I looked over at the kitchen, hoping Carly wasn't looking at us. She was intently focusing on her iced teas and singing to herself.

"You know I'm always here for you, right?" he whispered, turning his head slightly so his lips were closer to my ear.

"Yes," I replied. I wanted to kiss him so badly.

"So whatever is going on that's confusing and scaring you; whatever you've told Mitchell that you're not talking about now, you can tell me whenever," he said, wiping away a few tears. "Whenever you want me to know."

I looked at him, trying to find a way to tell him that I was pregnant.

"Freddie, I...I'm..." I kept looking between his eyes and his lips. "I want to kiss you," I blurted out. He looked me in the eye before looking down at my lips.

"We can't Sam," he replied, backing away from me. He gulped and looked over at me nervously. I looked behind him to see Carly with her head in the fridge. She hadn't seen anything, thank god. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head, sitting up straight and turning back to Inception.

"You don't need to be," I said. Before he could say anything, Carly "ahem"-ed. We both turned our heads to look at her. She smiled brightly at us. She handed Freddie an iced tea and sat down in between us.

"So what'd I miss?" she asked looking back and forth between Freddie and me. I returned my gaze to the TV and refused to speak.

"Nothing," Freddie answered, coughing a little from trying to talk and drink at the same time.

"You know, both of these movies are sad love stories. Let's watch something happier," she suggested, changing the channel. She came across the Princess Bride, which had just started. (A/N:This was on too XP)

"Like this!" She smiled and cuddled next to Freddie. I ignored both of them.

···

What if I was wrong

And no one cared to mention?

What if it was true

And all we thought was right was wrong?

Simple math, the truth cannot be fractioned

Either way

It had gotten really late, yet we were still here watching the movie channels: HBO, Cinemax, Showtime, and Encore.

Things had gotten a little better when Freddie and I convinced Carly to give the Breakfast Club a chance. There was something wrong with Carly is she couldn't understand the genius of John Hughes (or Mel Brooks but that was a different story.)

Carly kinda got into it but she didn't like it very much. She's never been a fan of movies made before 1996, which in my opinion is a horrible way to live because there's so many good movies and shows out there. She definitely wasn't very happy about the fact that Freddie and I went back and forth, saying the dialogue.

"How do you guys know this movie so well? It's so outdated and over rated," she pouted. Freddie and I gasped. I was about to argue with her when Freddie stopped me.

"She just doesn't get it. We'll try to explain it as best as we can, right Sam?" He knew how upset I got when people refused to give movies a chance because of their age. Or that it's not in color-use your imagination! I nodded absently while Freddie began to describe the classic teenage identity crisis and struggle while Bender told them he came back because he forgot his pencil.

I started thinking about all the things I was feeling. I was in love with one of my best friends who dated my other best friend. My other best friend was in love with him as well. The friend I'm in love with, yeah, I'm carrying our bastard child. The only person who knows all of this is moving away. I have no job, no family worth mentioning except for a twin that's on the other side of the country,no apartment of my own.

I felt less like an adult (which I unfortunately am,) and more like a lost teenager. There was no way I could take care of a baby in this condition. I felt my stomach, wondering if through some maternal magic I could feel a connection to the baby-fetus thing. I felt nothing. No attachment, no connection, no feelings. IN fact, I'd be evil to even try to be a mother at this time.

"Why are you touching your stomach?" Freddie asked, laughing. I snapped out of my thoughts and realized what I was doing.

"I, uh, I had a big lunch and I don't think eating all that food in less than 30 minutes was a such a good idea," I lied.

"How many times have I told you not to eat so fast? The food isn't going anywhere," Freddie said, exasperated. He rolled his eyes as he got up to get me some seltzer. "There's none here. I'll be right back, my mom always has some." He went across the hall.

Carly turned to me. "How many times has Freddie told you?" she asked. I shrugged. I honestly didn't know.

"I don't know. I don't care. Why do you?" I countered. She eyed me suspiciously and then looked down to play with the hem of her plaid skirt.

"Is there something going on between you and Freddie that I should know about?" she asked in an innocent tone. She only used that voice when she already had an answer in her head. I looked at her for a while wondering which one she had decided was true. I laughed.

"No. Why would you ask me that?" This time she shrugged.

"He seems really protective of you, like boyfriend protective and he's shut me down every time I even bring up the idea of us getting back together," she stopped talking, looking at me expectantly. She assumed that since he didn't want to be with her, it was somebody else. And that somebody else was me. Her assumption was right but I don't think I had the heart to tell her.

As I mentioned before, Carly lived in her own perfect world that consisted of truths. One truth was that her mom would come back one day. She didn't tell me but I knew that was partly why she was okay with iCarly. She hoped that one day her mom would reach out to her thru iCarly.

Another truth was that her dad cared about her. We all knew the reason he was never here, even Guppy figured it out. However, Carly stood by her idea that he cared. When really, he never did.

Something that had once been a lie that had evolved into a truth was that Freddie would always be in love with her. Whether she truly loved Freddie or not, I didn't know. But if she didn't, she was one hell of an actress.

Another truth was that Sam and Freddie hated each other. They would rather walk through fire than ever be together. Yet somehow, they were friends as well. They'd be willing to walk through fire for each other. This was a fuzzy truth but it was one none the less. Not any of these truths could be proven wrong or who knows what would become of her.

So I couldn't tell her the truth.

"That's got to be the most idiotic thing I've heard since "you're gonna need a technical producer". Carly, stop being a paranoid coocookachoo, alright? I don't want Freddie, I don't like him. Whatever is going on between the two of you has nothing to do with me," I lied again. She seemed to believe me because she smiled and hugged me.

"Sorry for being a paranoid coocookachoo! I just wanted to make sure because there's something I wanted to tell you," she replied excitedly. "Remember when you called me a few days ago and I told you that I kissed Freddie?"

I gulped, nodding and smiling the best I could.

"Well, I told him that I felt like had both matured since high school and we should give us another try," she explained. I turned my head away from her so I could take a deep breath and close my eyes. When I looked back, she hadn't even noticed. "And he told me that he had to think about it! Can you believe it? Any other time, he would've dismissed me right away but now he's gonna think about it! And—"

Freddie walked back in with the seltzer.

"Sorry it took so long. I didn't know my mom was home so she got upset at me for not seeing her first when I came back," he smiled gently at me. I felt like I was gonna cry. Again. For maybe the gazillionth time since I came back. At least this time I could blame it on the hormones.

I snatched the seltzer out of his hand and stood up.

"I'm going to bed," I said, winking at Carly so she wouldn't get any more suspicious. She smiled at me while I raced up the stairs.

I walked to my bed and laid down staring at the ceiling. I turned to Porca who stared at me with her perpetual grin and I lost it. I burst into tears. I was even more scared now. It took all I had not ti start hyperventilating and I sat up to cry into my knees. All of this crying was seriously pissing me off but I couldn't control; to be honest, it was a "nice" release of all the feelings I couldn't express.

I tried to think of all the people who had it worse than me so I could sober up but it backfired. I cried even more. I cried while I brushed my hair into a ponytail. I cried while I changed into my pajamas-today it was a giant blue t-shirt and blue and white checkered pants. I cried when I got under the covers and turned off the light. I cried as I hugged Porca close to me.

I stopped crying when I saw Freddie at the door.

···

I imply to mitigate the guilt, we could align

A perfectly constructed alibi

To hush the violent guilt that eats and never dies

In actual blame, they call me when the dark divides

Simple math,

It's why our bodies even lay here

Sinful math

the truth cannot be fashioned

"Hey," he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hey," I replied. "Why are you here?"

"Carly went out with some friends to a club. I didn't feel like going so I was gonna go home but..." He looked at me with that intense gaze that I hated to say I missed.

"Oh." I was his second choice, as usual.

"I wanted to tell you something," he added. He walked over to sit down on the bed. I moved over to make room for him. He took off his shoes so he could put his feet up. I leaned on my hand, sitting up a little so I could see him better.

He looked at Porca and smiled. He picked her up, inspecting her.

"I can't believe you still have this," he said, shocked. I smiled at him weakly and sniffled.

"Of course I do. I was in love with you and you gave me a present," I responded. There was no point in being vague, he already knew. He stared at me again, putting Porca down slowly.

"Were you really in love with me? In high school?" he asked softly. I nodded.

"Yeah. That teenage heartbreak kind of love," I said, half-joking. He chuckled.

"Well that sucks," I replied. "Because we had all that time but we wasted it. I was with Carly,"

"And I was pining," I finished his sentence. He smiled at me again. He pulled me closer to him so that my head leaned against his chest. He took out my hair so he could comb it with his fingers. I felt relaxed and oddly happy. I sighed, wrapping my arms around his waist. I closed my eyes.

He kissed the top of my head, holding me. It was like everything was going to be alright.

Just thinking that must've been a jinx.

Why?

"I kissed Carly," he said. My eyes stayed closed.

"I know. She told me about the club," I said, hoping dearly that he mixed it up.

"No. She kissed me but I didn't kiss her back. Today, before we came upstairs, I kissed her." Why did I even bother hoping anymore?

I opened my eyes slowly, unwrapping my arms. I moved away from him so I could look him straight on the eye.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, my voice eerily calm. He looked me in the eye and gulped.

"Because I wanted to tell you before Carly... I'm thinking about getting back with Carly,"the words rushed out of his mouth. I blinked. Hearing it from him was entirely different than hearing it from Carly.

"Ok," I whispered, choking back the tears that were ready to erupt. How did I not dry up? I turned away from him and laid down with my hands below my head.

"I know you've never liked the idea even before we...you know, but I just feel like we had our chance together. To be honest, I'm tired of this whole thing," he said. "I'm tired of being mindfucked everytime I'm with you. Carly's simpler."

I turned back around, the tears falling fast.

"Stop! I don't want to hear this shit, like you're not mindfucking me right now!" I said, my voice raising. I covered my eyes with my hands as I continued to cry. I didn't look at Freddie when I spoke again. "Can you...can you just hold me until I fall asleep?"

It was silent between the two of us except for my crying.

"No," he said. It hurt that he said no but that wasn't what made me look at him. He sounded angry and he was. "I'm gonna be with Carly now. I'm not gonna let you use me like you've done already."

"Please, Freddie," I cried. I reached out to him but he got up, grabbing his shoes.

"Nice touch, the tears," he pointed at my face. "You almost got me with them but I won't let you manipulate me anymore."

"What? I'm not manipulating you! And I don't even know why I'm crying right now. It's 'cuz of these stupid hormones!" I exclaimed. Freddie looked at me confused.

"What do hormones have to do with anything?" he asked. I hesitated, not sure what to say. He may think I'm just trying to get him to stay with me if I tell him I'm pregnant. If he does believe me, he'll probably leave anyway.

"I...I'm...Fred...I'm PMS-ing," I wimped out. I also blame this on the pregnancy. He rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." He walked out, slamming the studio door. I laid back down, crying. I eventually went to sleep. I don't know what it is about crying but it exhausts you.

···

What if you were crazy, would we have to listen then?

What if we've been trying to get to where we've always been?

What if I was wrong and started trying to fix it?

What if you believed me, everything is brilliant

Oh, Oh, Oh

I avoided Carly the next morning. It turned out not to be as hard as I thought it'd be because she wasn't even home.

I came out of Spencer's bathroom (better shower head) after my shower and other morning routines in a gray sweatshirt that covered a green tank top, black skinny jeans, and Melanie's green flats that I may have added to my suitcase after she left.

I bumped into Spencer.

"Hey, watch where you're going," I said, pushing him. He fell back to the wall. He smiled at me, slightly wincing.

"I, uh. I put the painting up in your room," he said suddenly.

"Um, okay. Thanks for the update." I tried to more around him but he stopped me.

"Carly called me just now," He told me, eying me carefully. "She didn't come home last night," He really wasn't telling me anything I needed to know. "She stayed over at Freddie's." My face went from annoyed to hurt to apathetic in less than 5 seconds. It seemed like everyone had bad news for me, starting with Mitchell and they all knew it would hurt me.

"Why do I need to know this?" I asked him.

"Because you need to know not to give up. Don't give up and I promise he'll be back in no time," he patted my shoulder sympathetically and left to start his next project.

He passed Mitchell on his way out and smiled kindly. When he shut the door, Mitchell sighed, turning towards me.

"He's a hunk," he said, dreamy- eyed. I laughed.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. He knows you're gay," I said. Mitchell shrugged.

"Didn't try to hide it."

"I also told Carly and Freddie yesterday," Mitchell was upset about that. "Sorry but I'm tired of her trying to put us together."

"Whatever," he pouted.

We sat down together on the couch and began listening to the radio. I know, how old-fashioned of us. We found an indie channel and when a dance song came on, we jumped off the couch and began dancing like crazy people just to make each other laugh.

"We have to talk business though," Mitchell said while dancing with me. I looked at him confused as the song ended.

"What business?"

"Um, I don't know, the current thing living in your stomach," he chuckled. I narrowed my eyes playfully at him.

"Really? It's in my uterus, doofus. Didn't you pay attention in health class?" I joked. He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, like I ever needed to know what'll happen if I get a girl pregnant," he responded sarcastically. I walked away to get us some snacks when the front door opened.

Carly and Freddie walked through, happy and smiling at each other. Carly looked at me first and then at Mitchell. She looked down like she was embarrassed. Freddie looked at me hesitating to sidestep away from Carly.

"Hey, you guys," Freddie's voice cracked. Mitchell turned to me and we both burst out laughing. Freddie was such a dorkface, only his voice would crack at his age. He cleared his throat. "We, uh, wanted to talk about iCarly," he said. They both looked at me expectantly. I huffed dramatically.

"Do you guys really need me there?" I asked, saying whatever I could to get away from them. I wasn't in the mood to pretend to feel something I don't. "Just make up something funny and I'll be there to record it."

Carly shrugged, laughing and grabbed Freddie's hand to drag him away. Freddie didn't look back.

Mitchell turned to me. "You okay?" he asked, concern all over his face. I nodded.

"It just makes things more complicated and confusing," I answered, getting us some beef jerky, chips, juice, and golden oreos. I sat down next to Mitchell with the snacks in my arms. I began devouring them, giving very little to Mitchell.

"So, what exactly do we need to talk about?" I wondered. Mitchell sighed.

"I had to do this with my sister," he started. "You have options with what you want to do with the baby. You can keep it and raise him or her by yourself. You can raise him or her with Freddie-you guys don't have to be together. You can hand the baby over to a relative or friend to watch the kid until you're ready. You can put it up for adoption-open or closed. I assume you've seen Juno so I don't have to explain it," I nodded. "The last option is abortion, in which they either destroy the embryo or take it out. I don't remember. Abortion is for if you don't want to give birth; you're not ready. I think it's mainly for if you're raped and get pregnant."

I stared at Mitchell, glad that I had him. I put the food I'd been shoving in my mouth aside and gave him a hug.

"I love you," I told him. We'd only known each other for a couple of months but he was the best person I'd ever met. From what I'd seen, he didn't have one thing about him that I didn't like.

"Babe, I love you too," he responded, hugging me back. "We are both super hot, super awesome people." He had said that to make me laugh and it worked.

"What should I do?" I asked, breaking away from the hug.

"You need to tell Freddie but I can tell you've already crossed that out of your mind," he said. I smiled at him because he knew me so well. "Well, then, you have to consider all the options you have and choose the one that best suits you," I looked up at the ceiling, leaning back. I really didn't know what I should do. "I'll stand by you, whatever you decide."

I opened my eyes, breathing in slowly and deeply. We sat there in silence until I broke it.

"I think...I should...abort it. I'm not ready for any of this, at all," I said.

"If that's what you really want," he replied.

"That's not what I fuckin' want 'cuz I'm a fuckin' little girl!" I exclaimed, bursting into tears yet again. Surprise.

"What do you mean?" he asked, concerned.

"I mean...I want a freakin' family with Freddie," I cried.

"Aww, sweetie," he said, hugging me again. I pushed him away and wiped my eyes.

"No! You can't encourage my sappy corny self. Push me to be tough," I told him. He smiled at me.

We heard stomps on the stairs and turned to see Carly. She smiled at us.

"Freddie needed me to get a cable from his room," she explained as she left. We nodded to her, halting our conversation until she was gone.

"You think she heard us?" I asked. Mitchell shrugged.

"I don't care. She can think and say whatever she wants, she'll always be a bitch," Mitchell replied. I chuckled.

"Full on Carly hate?"

"She's a bad, oblivious friend to you," he said. I shook my head.

"This is a recent thing. Carly and I were the bestest of friends when we were younger but she only started acting like this once guys got into the picture," I tried to defend her. He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes.

"Now she's a bigger bitch," he said. I rolled my eyes and sighed, shrugging.

"She wants to find her Prince Charming," I said.

"Anyway, if you want an abortion, you should go to the clinic to see what's gonna happen and all that," he changed the subject. I shivered, grabbing Spencer's car keys off the table.

"Clinics give me hives." Mitchell raised his eyebrows at me. "My mom practically lived there when I was in middle school and high school!"

"Okay, okay, your business," he said as he put his hands up in surrender. We chuckled at each other. "You want me to go with you?" he asked me. I shook my head.

"I should get used to doing all this shit by myself now," I explaines as we heard another set of footsteps come down the stairs. Freddie looked at is from the bottom of the stairs.

"Let's stop the awkward staring and act like we're the adults we aren't," Mitchell said, rolling his eyes. I snickered, smiling. I turned to Freddie and we smiled at each other. Until his smile fell and I looked down, brushing my hair back.

"Tell Carly that I forgot I was supposed to meet my mom at the hospital and I'll be back around 7 so we can rehearse then," he said. I nodded, forgetting that I was supposed to be leaving now too.

He opened the door and paused, turning back to us. He looked at me and then at Mitchell.

"I'm really sorry for what I said to you before, you know, when I called you..." he squirmed. I looked at Mitchell, somewhat amused by Freddie's apology. Mitchell was half-amused and half-annoyed.

"Yeah, whatever, just go to your mommy," Mitchell said, waving his hand in dismissal. Freddie smiled.

"Thanks man," Freddie said. I watched him leave and turned to Mitchell.

"Go. If you're gonna keep this a secret even though I disagree, you're gonna need practice," Mitchell ordered, pushing me off the couch. "I'll tell Ms. Bitch what Mr. Jackass said." I laughed, walking out the door.

"Wait," I stopped. "Then what's my name?"

"Why, you're Mrs. Jackass," he replied, winking and turning on the TV. I snickered, closing the door.

I walked down the hallway, stopping a few feet away from Freddie. He stood there waiting for the elevator. I cleared my throat and he turned around, immediately smiling. I smiled at him, looking down and brushing my hair back. I froze in the middle of it, realizing what I was doing. I was sickening myself with this "shy flirting." Freddie laughed, poorly disguising it as a cough. I looked back at him and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"You following me?" he asked. I snorted.

"You wish Benson," I replied. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. He walked inside, smiled even wider, and beckoned me forward like I was some scared puppy.

"Come here," he joked. "I won't hurt you." I rolled my eyes, smiling at him. Looking at him, I knew what I wanted. What I wanted to do.

I walked, more of, strutted towards him and pulled his lips to mine. I pressed myself against him and he fell back against the wall. He kept his arms up for a while not sure what to do with them. He settled his hands on my waist before pulling me closer to him.

···

What if I've been trying to get to where I've always been?

What if we've been trying to get to where we've always been?

Simple math, believe me, all is brilliant

What if we've been trying to kill the noise and silence?

We forgot to press the lobby button so we stayed on the 8th floor.

Freddie moved to kiss my neck. I sighed, wrapping my arms around his neck. He lifted my sweater a little.

"Aren't you hot?" he whispered against my neck. I chuckled and stepped back. I pulled the sweater over my head and eyed him seductively.

"You tell me," I responded. He licked his lips and pulled me by the hand to him. He kissed me, pressing me against the wall. "Deja vu, huh?" He chuckled.

"No," he said inbetween kisses. "Deja vu is when something happens that seems familiar but it's never actually happened before. This," he paused to let his hand wander and smiled at my reaction. "has happened before."

"Oh my god, shut up!" I groaned. "Who cares?" I kissed him, beginning to take off his shirt and getting frustrated that I kept messing up. I pushed him away and glared.

"What?" he wondered, amused.

"Why do you insist on wearing button-down shirts?" I asked. He rolled his eyes, unbuttoning it himself a lot faster that I would've. It revealed his super fine body and I got warm all over.

"Because I'm branching away from polos. Because I know it annoys you, almost as much as stripes," he answered. I smiled happily at him as the elevator shook, moving down. We both laughed and walked towards each other. We kissed each other, slower this time.

"I love you," I whispered. He backed away from me with his hand in my hair and a frown on his face.

"Sam," he sighed. The elevator stopped at the 4th floor. We both looked to see the man from Christmas.

"Not you guys again," he complained, backing out. "There are these things called rooms, in case you didn't know. And if you don't have one at home, they recently came out with these new things called hotels. I think you guys could benefit from that." I rolled my eyes and walked around Freddie to press the "close doors" button.

"You're not a pretty sight to see again either. I'm sorry medicine isn't advanced enough to help you with whatever's going on in this general area," I said, circling the lower half of my body while the doors closed. I turned back to Freddie. He was putting his shirt on with his back to me. I shrugged, letting my arms slap my sides. "So this is it?"

"I shouldn't have...you, we shouldn't have...I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I don't want to get back with you. I can't control myself around you and even right now I want to kiss you and some other stuff," he turned around to face me. "But I shouldn't. I need to get over you. I'm giving this whole Carly thing a shot," he said. I pressed the lobby button, knowing the fun was over and it was time to talk.

"But what if I was wrong? I..." Freddie's face fell.

"See? You don't really love me. It's alright. I've come to grips with it," Freddie said as the doors opened. He tried to walk past me but I grabbed his arm.

"Wait, Freddie. I do love you and I want to be with you," I replied, being more honest than I wanted to be. But something was telling me to stop him. I will never be comfortable exposing myself yet I'd already done it a number of times for Freddie. That itself should show how much I love him.

"I'm sorry, ok, I'm so sorry for hurting you," I even apologized. "I was scared to be with you. I was scared that at any moment you would leave me. For someone else, it didn't have to be Carly. It could've been anyone. I don't know if I can handle anyone else walking out on me so I walked away first for both of us. And your mom was right. You deserve a whole lot better than me. I'm like rock bottom," I chuckled sadly, looking down. Freddie moved his arm our of my hand and moved his hand to my face. He leaned down and kissed my cheek.

"You're not rock bottom for me," he said softly. "But it's too late. You've made it obvious that we won't work and I have no idea what to believe you feel for me anymore. First you hate me, then you like me, then you love me, then you hate me again, I can't keep up!"

He walked out the building, not looking back. I felt shocked and confused of what to do. I didn't want to make these decisions by myself.

···

What if I was wrong and you never questioned it?

What if it was true,

And all we thought was right was wrong?

Simple math, the truth cannot be fractioned

I imply I've got to get it back then

Oh, Oh, Oh

A/N: I promised one of the chapters this week and here it is! Also, I'd like to say happy birthday to my little sister! Even though you constantly annoy me, you're my best friend and I love you :)

Anyway, back to this business: if you want a sneak peek into the next chapter, give me the artist of this song and you're favorite (or least favorite) part of the chapter! I should be getting my laptop soon so it'll be easier for me to update :) The next chapter's really long so it might be a while for me to type it up. I'll try for it to be up sometime next week. I know this chapter is frustrating but I promise you that if you just pull through, it'll be worth it. XP