So sorry for taking so long to update again. I've been busy working, so real life has been a distraction getting in the way.

Thank you so much for your kind reviews, and the alerts I have received on the story. I enjoy reading your feelings :) I do hope you enjoy this one and that it isn't boring.


Chapter Nine

When he drops me off home, I notice he gets his driver to park a block away from my Mom's. I suppose, considering how we agreed to keep this like a secret thing between us, its very smart thinking. Knowing my mother, she would check outside the window and see me leaving his car otherwise.

I don't quite get why he insists on us keeping this a secret, but in some ways, I do. My mother would go nuts if she probably found out we were hanging out together and he seems to want to keep a platonic friendship with her. It makes me feel slightly guilty, doing this to my mother when we have always been so close, but... in a way, its also exciting.

When I unbuckle the seat belt, I turn to face him. He meets my gaze while rubbing his hands back and forth down his trouser pants. I realize I want him to kiss me like nothing else on the planet. I want so badly for him to kiss me, and I've never felt that way before; I've never felt that I have wanted a guy to kiss me before, so badly that it aches.

A part of me even suspects its why he parked so far away from the house. Why else would he do that, if he wasn't at least in some way tempted to kiss me?

My eyes fall down to his lips, waiting for him to make the move, only he doesn't. He just sits there in his seat, staring at me. I want this, I want it right now. God, I sound like a greedy kid; I want this toy, I need it. But I do. I want to be kissed. I want to feel his mouth on me.

He sighs loudly and when I lift my gaze, he turns his head away from me, raking his fingers through his hair. "Well, thank you for today, Ana." What? That's it?

"No, thank you. The ice-cream, it was... nice."

I remember reading somewhere that guys like aggressive girls; Ones that aren't afraid to say or do what they want. Is that how he is, too? Should I make the first move rather than to wait and see if he will?

"Do you have plans for tomorrow after school?" he asks me, turning to look at me again.

"Not any that I know of. Why's that?"

"Because, if you wouldn't mind, I would like to do something with you again?" His eyes search my face for something. I feel my heart swell in relief at his question; Even if he doesn't feel up to kissing me right now, at least he is interested in spending time with me again.

"Okay, great. I have no plans, so I'm free." I try not to sound too overly excited or happy. "I'd like that, getting the chance to spend more time with you."

Kiss me, please. Just lean over in your seat, and kiss me goodbye! What are you waiting for?

Christian simply stares at me with a brisk nod, and its then that I realize. Maybe I have to be aggressive and make the first move after all? Like I'd read somewhere, otherwise... otherwise I'm just going to be disappointed all night. Not to mention frustrated with myself for not at least making the attempt. Besides, what have I really got to lose? He basically said he liked me back in the cafe, didn't he?

"You know, you have my permission," I get out, way too softly. I try to make it seem like a flirtatious joke, though. "If that's what you are waiting for, then you've got it."

"Your permission?" He blinks at me a couple of times in misunderstanding. "Your permission for what, Ana?"

"To kiss me goodbye, of course." My flirtatious voice doesn't really work with me; I sound too coy, too... breathless. It's embarrassing. "I mean, that's why we are here in the first place, aren't we?"

Christian peers back outside the window for a moment as he digests my words down, and I think my boldness has actually managed to shock him. Good, then. When he finally glances back at me, I see he is trying to hide a smile. "And what makes you think that I was waiting for your permission?"

"Oh, well." I stare at him in confusion. "Isn't that just what you were doing? Waiting for me to give you the green light?"

I hear his belt click open as his eyes peer into mine deeply. As he leans closer towards me, my stomach clenches in anticipation, the butterflies in my stomach fluttering around rapidly in excitement. God, he is so gorgeous. Then, I feel his lips on me lingeringly and he does kiss me.

On my cheek. The inches of stubble on his chin feels scratchy, like its buffering my skin. My heart sinks as the sting of rejection cuts through me. I ask for a kiss, yet he kisses me on the cheek? How fucking confusing. I can't tell whether he actually likes me in the way that I like him, or if he is just simply meaning to be friendly by it all. Maybe I'm being too desperate and it shows, subsequently turning him off?

"You can get out of the car now, Ana."

Christian moves away back into his seat, buckling up again. He rests one elbow against the door, two fingers stroking around his chin. He won't dare look at me. It's as though he refuses to.

Really, I think his behavior all this afternoon just shows that he views me as a child, asking me out for ice-cream with him. What if I wasn't seventeen then? What if I was closer to his age? Would he want to kiss me then? Do more with me if I was older than seventeen?

But he said in the cafe that he likes me in a way that he never thought he possibly could about someone my age- so what was that? And, despite all my insecurities about myself, he has a particular distinctive way of looking at me as though I'm someone interesting to him, someone... somewhat pretty and attractive to him. So why doesn't he want to kiss me in the real way that two people kiss, and not in a pathetically chaste way, like on the cheek like that?

Apparently, no matter what age... men are downright confusing and send mixed messages- whether they be in school or out in the real world, like he is.

Tearing myself out of my obsessive and confused thoughts, I force myself to move, opening the car door. I notice Christian still doesn't glance my way as I do, and it makes me feel irritated. What? So he's too ashamed of himself to even bother looking at me now or something?

"Goodbye Christian," I say, not even bothering to hide the offense in my voice. "Thanks for the lift, but I'm afraid us hanging out tomorrow won't be happening seeing as you're so ashamed to associate with me." I slip the strap of my bag over one shoulder before slamming the car door shut with all the effort I can manage.

I've just started walking briskly when I hear a car door open and slam shut.

"Ana, wait."

"Wait?" I keep walking. "Why should I when I'm clearly just a kid to you?"

He slips in front of me, blocking my path. I stop, faltering in my stride. Christian looks desperate and frustrated, and so many different things at once. "Look, if we are going to do this, then... we're going to have to be extremely careful about it, okay?"

I shake my head, still not understanding. "I said that I was okay with keeping us hanging out from my mother?"

"I know that, but I..." He pauses for a moment, taking in a deep breath. He combs a hand through his hair and he looks agitated in a way I haven't seen before. "I meant what I said, in that I like you a lot, too. A little too much. I have a sister younger than you, and I know that if any older guys thought about her the way that I've been thinking about you the past few days ever since I met you... I'd kill them."

My face goes hot at his words and I know I'm probably blushing. He's been thinking about me?

"Yeah, well. I'm not your younger sister, Christian," I spit out. "So I don't exactly understand why you are being like this with me?" My head is reeling. "And about what happened back there, in the car...if you don't want to kiss me then why not just say so?"

He seems taken aback. "What?" he hisses flatly. "It's not that I didn't want to kiss you. I do want to, and that's half the problem."

"Well, I for one, really can't see what the problem is here? I like you, and I... I'm thinking you like me, too?" I try to control my voice, to keep it low in case someone miraculously overhears us. "Yes, I'm younger than you. Yes, I still go to school, but... soon I'll be eighteen and starting college. I'm not the kid you seem to think I am! If it's my mother finding out that you're mostly worried about, then don't be, because I know how to keep secrets and I know how important it would be that she never finds out about this!"

Christian steps closer at my words, close enough that he is almost touching me. He stares at me for a moment, seemingly torn and conflicted, then he reaches up, with both hands. Those butterflies grow even worse inside of me as he slides one hand through the back of my hair, the other cupping the side of my face. He moves even closer- the full length of his tall body not quite touching me but he stands between my legs- and then before I know it, he is kissing me full on the mouth. It's even better than I was hoping. Kissing someone for the first time, it isn't as nerve-wracking or difficult as I had always been expecting it would be. My body seems to get naturally into it, my mouth seeming to know what to do.

Instantly, I reach up with my hands, touching his hair and the back of his neck. When his tongue probes against my bottom lip, I moan, opening my mouth to him, and the dizzying rush of lust I feel drowns me.

I love it; Everything about it. The way his fingers tighten around the strands of my hair, keeping my head still. How tall he is compared to me, that he has to duck slightly. The warmth of his lips, the stubble on his chin. For the first time ever since meeting him, his actions in doing this, in him kissing me- he makes me actually feel like a full-grown woman in his eyes, and not some kid that reminds him of his younger sister.

I feel like if something bad were about to happen to me right now, I would go willingly, because he is kissing me, finally, and it feels so fucking good and unlike anything that dying would be fine by me, so long as I get to experience this, just once, the fact that he is kissing me, showing me he likes me and wants me as much as I feel I want him. But then, please no-

All too soon, he moves away, uncurling his hand from the strands at the back of my hair. Both his hands rest on my waist for a moment, before he gives me a light push, moving me backwards and away from him. He rotates away with his body so that he isn't facing me for a moment, though I don't get why. I can only hear my breathing, which is far too loud. Too loud and shaky. I feel like I'm floating, like I'm high!

When I see his face again as he turns towards me, I see he is staring down at the ground near his feet. He lets out a whoosh through his mouth and lifts a hand to rake his fingers through his hair again. "You better get inside your house before Carla starts wondering where you are," he says, finally looking at me. "I'll walk you halfway."

He walks me towards the street where Mom's house is, neither of us saying anything. Really, I feel as though I can hardly remember how to speak. There's this weird, heavy tingling sensation between my legs, like I'm turned on by his kiss alone; Something I've never felt before.

"Tomorrow?" he reminds me when he stops walking.

"Yes, tomorrow. Definitely."

A/N: Hope this one was okay? I am so sorry for taking so long to update. Real life has been keeping me away, but I promise to get into the routine of updating frequently again. Not sure how you are all feeling about the content matter, but your thoughts are always welcome and interesting to me. :) Thank you.

Lexi x