The Ancient Golden WilderFridge Aspect of the Coat Hanger

"We gonna rez and try again?" asked Nutpacman.

"Sure why not, as long as Brito's quite finished with his farting." replied Spurmunit.

In Ghost form Britomartus attempted to blush but failed miserably. "Sorry guys."

"I'll rez you all!" offered the Spirit Angel.

"No chance!" replied Imodium. "You're a vindictive little spirit and we're not falling for that old trick."

REZZ!

TWANG!

HUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRLLLLL!

"Oh Dene you didn't accept the rez offer did you?" asked Britofartus.

"Yes…I thought," HUUUURRRLLL "I thought she was being nice this time." HUURRRRLL! "I feel awful!"

"Tee-hee!" giggled the Spirit Angel.

Kenneth floated close to the Spirit Angel.

"Are you looking down my top?" she asked.

"Yes," replied Kenneth smugly, "yes I am!"

The rest of the party floated their way back to their bodies while Denethawin miserably followed painting the trees greenish yellow with vomit all along the way.

Once rezzed and the curse had worn off the group managed to tip-toe the rest of the way through the forest until they reached entrance of a huge cave. Outside the entrance stood an Orge/Troll/Dwarf type thing bearing the Mark of Exclam! Congratulating themselves on being the first group to find this they soon discovered from the weird looking Not-Player that all they had to do was go in the cave, kill one monster and come back to claim the reward which was, 'The Ancient Golden WilderFridge Aspect of the Coat Hanger.' A green item of immense power!

"There is a god! Exclaimed Buchish. "The Ancient Golden WilderFridge Aspect of the Coat Hanger be thy name!"

"Look at the stats on that!" said Nutpacman whistling. "Deffo Warriors gear that."

"But its leather!" pointed out Britofartus. "You wear plate armour!"

"So?" replied Nutpacman with a blank expression on his face.

"Stop ranting and let's get in there!" ordered Spurmunit.

All crept in apart from Imodium who looked at the Ogre/Troll/Dwarf type thing for a few moments before saying, "Manifesting myself. Need two to assist."

Imodium liked spooking Not-Players but this one seemed made of sterner stuff. He seemed more intent on finding what was really, really stuck so far up his nose rather than worrying about a Player's mental health.

Seconds ticked by in stony silence, which was only broken by a loud scream and the sudden whooshing sound Newmember's body made as it flew out of the cave and landed with a loud splat against a tree. Imodium used the powers of a Borelock to summon a demon minion to do his bidding.

"We'd best get in there then" said Imodium to his minion. "It sounds like they might be in a bit of trouble."

Imodium strode briskly into the cave, while his minion strode even more briskly in the opposite direction.

Inside Imodium found the remaining eight members of the party on one side of the cave while on the other stood a small boy called Cecil.

"What's all this then?" asked Imodium.

"That's the boss!" said Gloey pointing at Cecil.

"Lol! Seriously, what just killed the newbie?"

"I told you, the boss over there!"

"What the boy? Ah, does he morph into a big Dragon or something?"

"No he…he tickles."

"I've had enough of this," interrupted Nutpacman. "Newmember's not a good a Tonk as me and he waded in before anyone was ready. Let's go! One bowl of Cecil soup coming right up!"

Before anyone could object Nutpacman charged in, swinging his sword in a wide arc delivering a flurry of sundering blows on Cecil. Cecil just smiled, reached out and started tickling him. Moments later Nutpacman mega-armour exploded! It took all of Spurmunit, Britofartus and Denetharwin's healing powers to keep Nutpacman alive.

Everyone else waded in throwing everything they could at Cecil who giggled.

"Cecil's only down to 96% health! shouted Spurmunit. "I need a *Regenerate!"

"I've already used it on Nutpacman!" replied Brito.

"You idiot! He's a warrior, he doesn't use manga!"

"So?" replied Britofartus with a blank expression on his face.

"Oh I give up I really do, you're all bloody insane, and I've a good mind to…"

Spermunit's rant was interrupted by the falling off of Nutpacman's arms due to intense tickling. This was shortly followed by his legs and then…other bits.

Cecil proceeded to make short and ticklish work of the rest of the party.

He phased Buchish and Kenneth together, manifested Imodian into the cave wall, over healed Spermunit to the point he died of good health. To finish off he cast a massive AOE called "All Die Instantly and There's No Defence Against it."

As ghosts and wisps they made there way back to the cave. As they were rezzing Britofartus made the suggestion that maybe they weren't quite ready for this area yet so maybe they should all head back to the starting point and look for easier areas to quest in. Everyone reluctantly agreed.

Just as they were about to leave, Fishmisfit noticed something amiss.

"Err, how come Cecil appears to be err, kinda dead?"

Fearing it was some trap the group cautiously examined Cecil's body. He still had 92% health and was sporting and insane grin but he was lying down and looked quite inert. They also found they could loot him.

"Yeah, Yeah, a blessing from the lord!" shouted Britofartus.

"What? What's going on?" demanded Denetharwin

"Cecil's buggered!" said Britofarus with glee!

Britofarus noticed Denetharwin's puzzled expression remained.

"You've never seen anything get buggered?" asked Britofartus in amazement.

"I'm a healer. I don't notice anything much apart from everyone's health levels. My life is dictated by green bars. Please kill me!"

Ignoring Denetharwin's plea Britofartus explained while searching Cecil's pockets for loot.

"Nothing's perfect, even the Geeks make mistakes. No let me start that again. Nothing's perfect, especially the Geek's who make mistakes all the time!"

Britofartus found ten gold coins which he split between the party.

"So when things don't work quite as they should do, then it's buggered until the Geeks can fix it. Anyone need a Ring of the Clean Shaven? Fishmisfit? Yeah? Ok cool. Anyway where was I, oh yeah! Normally we can report these incidents to the Oracles of the Geeks, those Geek Messenger (GM) guys who always claim everything is working as intended but surprise, surprise a few minutes later it's fixed! Ugh, a snotty rag! Nutpacman you want this? Why? Never mind, take it. But in this case this mega hard boss has died for no reason so we get the reward and keep it all quiet like. You understand?"

"You are at full health." replied Denetharwin.

Britofartus took that as a yes and removed Cecil's left big toenail to prove to the Not-Player that they had defeated the boss as per the Quest rulez. The party then acted like shepherds and got the flock out of there as quickly as possible in case Cecil was Booted by the Geeks.

They legged it back to the entrance where Britofartus handed in the quest. As there was only one Ancient Golden WilderFridge Aspect of the Coat Hanger, the party used the well established fair method of rolling for it, using one hundred sided dice. Please do not ask me to explain!

Before the rolls could finish however, Nutpacman (who had rolled a one) grabbed The Ancient Golden WilderFridge Aspect of the Coat Hanger, while mentioning something about it should be his to cover his repair cost and anyway, the Gang should all put towards the cost of his new mount before legging it from the astonished group.

There was a moment of shocked silence before they all raised their fist and yelled!

**"Samurai Bstard!"

A thousand glowing eyes suddenly appeared in the surrounding trees…"

* The Regenerate skill is exclusive to Guids and quickly regenerates a Player's manga. However nine times out of ten Guids are forced to use it on a Clergy which results in the Guid singing the, "If Clergy need Regenerates so badly why give it to the Guids you big numpty Geeks" song

** Players who sneak up and nick loot without anyone noticing are referred to as Ninjas. Others who cannot be arsed and do it right in front of your face are known as Samurai. They have a strange code of honour which implies if they go 'Nah Nah Na-Nah Nah' while stealing the object in plain sight of the entire party then it is ok.