This AN is completely irrelevant to story. Don't read if you don't want to.
First I want to say sorry to everyone for not updating. I went through some serious issues in my personal life, I've gone through it and was in the process of moving on. I wasn't in the best place emotionally to update, however I didn't want to post an AN as a chapter to warn you guys. I conflicted with myself about that because I didn't want you guys to worry that I wasn't going to finish the story. I finished this chapter and want to dedicate it to my fans, my family and friends and my former beta who although didn't get the chance to work with me too much, gave me great criticism on the story as a whole and this chapter.
Chapter 9
Raizo's pov.
I came out of the shower to find Mika leaning her head back with her eyes closed. She looked so beautiful that I stopped to stare at her. I felt sick like some pervert checking her out while she's not looking but what was the other option? To tell her that maybe... I could be in love with her. Then what have her tell me that she doesn't feel the same way? Or even worse what if she does like me then she'll get disappointed by the fact that we can never be a normal couple and eventually she'll grow to hate me. I couldn't blame her.
I was knocked out of my internal nightmare by Mika blowing out abreath, opening her eyes and jumping when she saw me. She put a hand on her chestand tried to calm her loud heart.
Once I heard it start to slow down then I apologized and asked herwhat she wanted to talk about.
She took a deep breath and said "it's just well I don't want things to be weird between us after last night. I know that my... freak out must've been weird for you and for that I'm sorry. It's just that... well I already told you that I have abandonment issues, and more than just that," another deep breath then she slowly looked into my eyes," I generally care about you. I don't want anything to happen to you. Don't you understand? There is a reason that I went looking for you at the dojo. I mean that and it's not because you saved me a lot, so much that I completely owe you my life. It's because you're a really good guy underneath the swords and scars, you may not believe that but I do, with all my heart. So it would mean a lot to me if things don't become suddenly awkward between us just because I temporarily had no control of my feelings." As she kept on talking, she started speeding up, so at the end she was panting and had to catch her breath.
I got a warm feeling in my chest, I suppose where my heart should be, to see her fall over her own words, in what I suppose was nervousness. But why was she nervous? I don't really understand the feeling so comprending it was a bit puzzling. All I have ever felt until I met Mika was determination, fear and more frequently pain.
I was also surprised by what she said; she told me that she cared for me. As I thought about that admission, it gave me such a pleasant feeling I almost smiled. The fact that she was so concerned about it being uncomfortable in between us was a little flattering too. When she finished I didn't know what to say... do I tell her that I care about her too? I didn't think that I could, it would be admitting to a weakness, which would make me a failure as a ninja, which would put her in danger especially if our enemies found out how important she was to me, they would use it against us. But then what was I to say to her then?
While I was pondering what to say, Mika was mistaking my silence as a rejection to her apologies and overall care for me. She looked down at the
bed with her shoulder hunched over, I didn't realize that she misunderstood me until she got off the bed and started walking to the bathroom sniffling. I immediately jumped up and grabbed her arm, stopping her. My body naturally pulled her to my chest without any conscious decision being made. Before I really had a chance to think about it, my mouth opened on its own free of any brain filter, "Mika I care about you too. Why else would I grab you fresh from the hospital to run with me? It's the only way to keep you safe. You're the purest person I met in my world where it's all about money, sex, power, and death. You're too kind to have gone through what you did. Trust me the last thing I want is for it to get awkward between us too." At this point I grabbed her chin, lifted her face and wiped her tears away. I felt deja-vu and she also must've felt it because she stepped away from me to blow her nose and fix herself up before she turned to me smiling "thanks for today and yesterday" she laughed before continuing " if yesterday didn't make things awkward between us this certainly did." seeing her laugh made me smile a little (that's how happy it made me to see her laugh). Then I turned serious and looked her in her eyes "I will never allow it to get uncomfortable in between us." this sobered her up and we stood staring at each other only to be interrupted when the person next door slammed the door closed. I cleared my throat and she asked me if I had anything planned for us today.
"Yeah we're going to get breakfast then we're going to this
place where I can train. After that we're going to go visit my friend who you
will be staying with while I'm gone."
After this she looked me in the eyes scared. "What?"
"Nothing it's just you really are leaving me. You need to promise me…" she grabbed my face between her hands and pulled it only a few inches from her own, "promise me…or make an oath, which ever is stronger…that you will come back to me, whether our issues are solved or not, alive and healthy."
I frowned laying my own hands on hers, "Mika I'll make sure you're taken care of, I'll do my best so you can live without the threat-"
She got frustrated and tightened her hold on my face while shaking her head a little, "Damnit Raizo! I don't care about that! I want you to swear to me that the second you see the plan going downhill, you will get out of there and come back to me… got it?"
I couldn't not contemplate the idea of actually coming back to her; I missed her even though I hadn't left already. However I thought and thought of the possibility of failing, what would I do? Well I couldn't risk dieing and leaving Mika by herself to be attacked. I would return for her, then immediately evacuate the country.
I shook my head to relieve it of its thoughts of failure, if I think that way, I am already doomed. I focus sensation of Mika's warm soft hands on my skin to bring me back to her plea. I don't wish to give her false promises if I don't know whether or not I'll be dead, however the look of defeat on her face is true pain to me. After a sigh, I give in, "I swear to you, Mika Coretti, that if and ONLY if I find that the events to not go in our favor, I will devote myself to escaping with my life in order to rejoin you."
She looks at me deeply to confirm my promise and when she's satisfied she hugs me for a long time nudging her face into my chest. "What were we talking about before," she mumbles.
I'm brought back to the current situation and chastise myself for losing touch with the outside world, even for those few moments, I must remain on guard at all times. "I was informing you of the plans for the day. Breakfast being first, then a visit to your temporary quarters for the period of my absence."
A few seconds later her stomach responded to the mention of food really loudly, she stepped away from me and turned rubbing her stomach rather roughly, calling it a "traitor."
"Mika I will never understand your behavior towards the body's natural need to be fed regularly."
"Yeah well that's easy for you to say considering I've never heard your belly growl. Add that to the fact that you have no fat on you, you're a slim trim muscle machine, narrower than me infact," she responded while facing me with her fists resting on her hips and an eyebrow cocked.
"First, I had to learn growing up to control my body so completely that it can ignore natural processes, if you haven't realized that yet Mika," I responded to her calmly. "Second, exercise is necessary to keep my body in shape. A proper diet keeps active and won't tire me out. The physique is just a result, not the reason. Although I will admit that if I were excessively large, the sneaking around and hiding would be a lot harder." She crossed her arms and huffed at me still not giving in. I sighed and grabbed my bag along with the keys, we walked outside to the car and she still hadn't said anything to me. I turned to her inside the car and tried again to convince her, "Mika, honestly, why let the idiotic modern standards of how a woman 'should' look get to you. In fact, evolution made women curvy, it makes you more fertile. That's what men look for in women too, subconsciously anyway, why do you think most of those men were attracted to you, well besides your beauty." I frowned slightly at this before she cut me off.
"Wait. Are you calling me fat," she turned to me with fire in her eyes.
I groaned and threw my head back against the headrest, "no, how many times do I have to go over this with you? You're not fat. Just look at the size of your waist. I'm saying you're fertile, there's a difference. The size of your hips and "I coughed and fought the blood rush to my cheeks, "chest are perfect for when you reproduce. You'd be able to birth and sustain the child without too many difficulties or pain." At this point I really wanted to end the conversation.
She smirked at me and responded, "as much as I thank you for the evaluation of my anatomy, kids aren't exactly in the near future right now. With the current problems that's under no consideration, not to mention the fact that in order to have children, they must be conceived first, something I'm not doing right now."
I didn't even dare think of doing that act with her, and the possibility of someone else getting that chance angered me so I focused on the first issue. "Mika, I will get you out of this and someday you will get those opportunities, trust me. For now, how about we get going, I'm hungry too." I grinned at her, started the car and drove to a small restaurant I saw while driving.
"Oh and just to let you know, I don't hate my body, I accept my body for how it is and love it this way. I was just annoyed by my stomach's frequent growling, when I've never heard so much as a peep from yours," Mika replied dryly.
"Like I said before, I'm hungry too Mika, in fact," I pushed the gas harder, now happier knowing that Mika's happier and loving the same body I fell in love with.
