South Park vs. Seth MacFarlane Survivor

Episode 9

Bart: In our last episode, tension started to build in the Cartman/Stewie alliance. While Cartman wanted to keep gunning for Kyle, Stewie recommended that the alliance go after one of its own: Leopold "Butters" Stotch. However, Cartman was not convinced.

Already in possession of a hidden immunity idol, Stan Smith won the reward challenge and a private cookout. He chose Kyle Broflovski to join him for the cookout, solidifying the alliance between the two. Meanwhile, Butters Stotch found the second hidden immunity idol behind the South Park Tribe's former camp.

At the immunity challenge, Lois Griffin emerged victorious from the tricky maze to remain in the game for at least three days. Before tribal council, Stewie finally persuaded Cartman and the rest of their alliance to vote for Butters. Meanwhile, Kyle got Quagmire and Lois to join his side on the condition that they vote off Brian. To the surprise of everybody, Butters played his hidden immunity idol, and Brian Griffin was eliminated from contention.

With Brian gone and the secret vote against Butters now out in the open, will the Cartman/Stewie alliance continue to fall apart? Is Kyle's new alliance now the most powerful in the game? Who among the final eight will be voted off next? Let's find out…

Kangaroo Tribe: Day 25

(Cartman, Stewie and Wendy meet in their usual clearing in the woods.)

Stewie: Soooo…..last night was a disaster.

Cartman: No shit! What was your first guess, football head?

Stewie: Who the duce are you calling football head, you fat tub of lard?

(Stewie and Cartman are about to fight, but Wendy gets between them.)

Wendy: Guys, stop it! Now that there is only three of us, we need to be on the same page or else we're going to get voted off one by one.

Cartman: As usual, you are right my dear. We need to figure out our next move.

Stewie: What are we going to do about Butters?

Cartman: Oh, I already took care of that.

(Back at the shelter, Butters was lying down as Kyle and Stan Smith returned from fishing at the creek.)

Kyle: As blindsided as we all were by Butters playing a hidden immunity idol, I bet he was just as shocked about getting so many votes. Now that he knows the truth behind Cartman and his alliance, maybe now I can finally get Butters to join my side.

(Kyle and Stan put their fishing gear down and Kyle joins Butters in the shelter.)

Kyle: How are you holding up Butters?

Butters: Oh, okay I guess. I'm just surprised I got so many votes. I mean, why would you guys want to vote for me?

Kyle: That's just it Butters. My alliance didn't vote for you! Cartman and the rest of his alliance tried to stab you in the back.

Butters: (chuckles) Nice try Kyle! Cartman and the rest of the fellas voted for Brian. I voted for you just to keep you on your toes.

Kyle: Wait, don't you remember how Cartman reacted when you played your idol? He was outraged!

Butters: No, you got it all wrong. Cartman told me that he was just faking anger to throw you off and…

Kyle: HE'S… LYING…TO…YOU! How can you be this fucking stupid? (Kyle storms off towards the creek.)

(Scene cuts back to Cartman/Stewie alliance in clearing.)

Stewie: Very well. So, I assume we're going back to targeting Kyle?

Cartman: Perhaps…or perhaps not. Like you said, we should keep our options open, right?

Stewie: Uh…right. (gives Cartman an odd look as they go their separate ways.)

Stewie: I'm not entirely sure what Cartman meant by that statement. I'm starting to think Brian was right to be wary of this kid. My gosh, I wish he was here.

Day 26: Reward Challenge

(The camera pans to an open field with 32 white tiles in four rows of eight. Bart is standing in front of the field of tiles when the Kangaroo Tribe arrives.)

Bart: Well, we've reached the halfway point of this game, which means that every challenge from this point forward is more important than ever. For today's reward, as you can see behind me, there are 32 white tiles lined up in rows and columns. One at a time, you all will get a chance to flip over one of these tiles. 16 of them are blank on the other side, but the other 16 have your names on them, two for each remaining castaway. The goal of this game is to flip over the tiles with another person's name on them. Once both of the white tiles with your name on them have been revealed, you are eliminated from the game. The last castaway to still have one or both of their name tiles hidden wins reward, and that reward is…(Bart walks over to a crate and opens it.) …your own private bedding for one. This should make sleeping out in the wilderness a lot easier. Any questions?

Quagmire: Yeah, how did your date with that Australian girl go?

Bart: (sighs) Not well man…not well. Anyway, let's get started. Lois, since you won the last immunity challenge, you get to pick first.

[Lois walks up to the tile at the beginning of the first row. She flips it over to reveal Kyle's name. Cartman is up next, hoping to find Kyle's second tile, but instead flips over a blank one. Stewie goes up third, flipping the first of two tiles for Stan Smith. Three turns later, Wendy finds the second Stan tile, and Stan is eliminated. This process continues for several minutes, with Kyle, Butters, Lois, and Quagmire all getting eliminated in that order. It all comes down to Stewie, Cartman and Wendy. Each of them has already had a tile flipped, and it's Stewie's turn to choose. However, he flips over a blank tile. Wendy is next up, and she flips over a tile to reveal…her own name, eliminating herself. Cartman gets the next pick, but winds up choosing a blank. Stewie is next up, hoping to find the second tile with Cartman's name on it, and…that is exactly what he does, winning the reward challenge.]

Bart: Congratulations, Stewie! The private bedding is yours for the taking. The rest of you, I got nothing for you. You may head back to camp.

Kangaroo Tribe: Day 26

Stewie: I must say after Brian got voted off, I wasn't feeling too good about my chances to win this game. Today's reward challenge win proves that I can go it alone if necessary.

Kyle: Okay, Butters may be sticking by Cartman's side. However, I got a feeling that Stewie's loyalty to that alliance is starting to waver. Maybe I can talk him into flipping sides.

(Stewie is relaxing on his new bedding when Kyle joins him in the shelter after another fishing expedition.)

Kyle: That was an impressive win today, Stewie!

Stewie: Thanks. I mean, it was completely a game of chance, but still…thanks.

Kyle: I thought you'd be over there with Cartman.

Stewie: It's my naptime. I may be a talking genius baby bent on world domination, but I am a baby nonetheless.

Kyle: No, I understand. I just want to talk for a minute, and then you can go back to your nap.

Stewie: (sits up in his bedding) Okay, lay it on me.

Kyle: Well, have you noticed that your alliance is now three South Park kids and one person from Family Guy?

Stewie: True, but Cartman promised me co-leadership in the alliance, and so far he has followed through on that promise. It was my idea to try and blindside Butters. It's not my fault he's too dumb to realize we voted for him.

Kyle: He's using you. That's what Cartman does. He does it all the time to Butters back home. In fact, at this very moment, Cartman is probably talking about trying to vote you off.

Stewie: What reason would he have to vote me off?

Kyle: I don't know. He's probably saying something like…

(Scene shifts to Cartman talking with Wendy and Butters in the clearing.)

Cartman: Stewie is a dangerous player in this game. He won today's reward challenge, and he could win many more. Without….

(Scene turns back to Kyle and Stewie in the shelter.)

Kyle: Without you, he can inherit sole leadership of the alliance, and then everyone will have to respect…

(Back to Cartman.)

Cartman: RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!

(Back to Stewie and Kyle at the shelter.)

Stewie: I must admit. That is some solid logic.

Kyle: Stewie, Cartman once turned a kid's parents into chili, and then fed that chili to the kid. You're dealing with an evil the likes of which you've never met in Quahog. Think about it.

(Kyle leaves the shelter while Stewie returns to napping. Scene shifts to Lois and Quagmire in the woods making out. Lois pulls away from Quagmire and gets up to gather plants.)

Quagmire: What's wrong?

Lois: Glen, I'm worried that we're not being active enough players in this game. I feel like all we've been doing since Peter got voted off is having sex.

Quagmire: Peter? I thought you were leaving Peter.

Lois: (confused) Wait…did you actually think I was dumping Peter for you? (laughs) I like you Glen, but not in the same way I like Peter. We had to vote him off because he was hurting the tribe. It was just part of the game, and so was this. I'm sorry Glen, but this little fling is over. (Lois leaves to gather more plants.)

Quagmire: Unbelievable! Lois just stood me up. No girl has ever resisted my devilish charms like that. Well, if I can't have her, then I don't think she can have a million dollars.

Day 27: Immunity Challenge

(The castaways walk along the creek to find a long table with eight seats and eight covered plates right in front of the old South Park Tribe camp. Bart is standing at one end of the table.)

Bart: Have a seat, guys. (The eight castaways take a seat at the table.) First things first: Mrs. Griffin, I'm going to need that necklace back. (Lois takes off necklace and hands it to Bart.) Once again, immunity is back up for grabs. As you have no doubt figured out, part of playing the game of Survivor is eating stuff you normally would never eat in order to feed yourself. For today's challenge, we are going to see who has the strongest stomach. At this time, take the covers off your plates. (The eight castaways take the covers off, and most of them gag at what they see on their plates.)

Bart: That's right. Today, you all will be having the Survivor Café's blue plate special. (Bart laughs while Wendy throws up in her mouth.) Three live cockroaches, five small spiders, and one scoop of earthworms for dessert. The goal is simple: The winner is the first person to finish their plate, or whoever eats the most in 30 minutes. At any point during the challenge, you may ring the bell to your right to bow out of the challenge. However, once you ring the bell, you are eliminated and cannot return to the challenge. Any questions? (No questions, but there are several queasy castaways.) Well then, Survivors Ready….GO!

[Right after Bart says go, Wendy rings the bell to tap out of the challenge. The rest of the castaways start with the cockroaches. As you might expect, Cartman eats quickly without much thought. Stan, having lived in the wilderness multiple times for CIA missions, is also faring well. Quagmire and Kyle lag behind in third and fourth. After only one cockroach, Butters rings his bell to eliminate himself from contention. Meanwhile, Cartman is already on to the spiders. He's stuffing the first two spiders into his mouth as Lois rings her bell to become the third person out of the challenge. Stan is the second to move onto the spiders, followed by Stewie in third. Quagmire and Kyle are still struggling with the cockroaches. Quagmire rings his bell, but Kyle refuses to quit. Stan finishes off his spiders, but there is no catching Cartman, who is already on to the earthworms. Cartman makes quick work of the final course to capture immunity.]

Bart: Congratulations, Eric Cartman! Here's your immunity necklace. (Bart grabs the immunity necklace and puts it around Cartman's neck.) You are safe from tonight's vote.

Kyle: This is the worst-case scenario for me. With Cartman safe from the vote, I'm going to be the primary target to go home. I need to swing some votes my way if I want to survive tribal council.

Cartman: Is Kyle going to watch this later? (cameraman nods) Okay. (clears throat) Na-na-na-na-na-na! I just won immunity! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-HA!

Quagmire: After today's challenge, I got an idea for a big move that will make me a lead player in this game.

Kangaroo Tribe: Day 27

(Stewie is lying down in his bedding, throwing up the meal from the immunity challenge. Kyle walks over from the other side of the shelter.)

Kyle: Are you going to be okay?

Stewie: Yeah, I think it's almost out of my system. Gosh, I haven't thrown up this much since me, Brian, Chris and the fat man drank ipecac to see who would get the last piece of pie in the fridge.

Kyle: (bewildered) Uh….your family seems…interesting.

Stewie: Oh, you don't know the half of it. (sits up in bed) Anyway, who do you think is getting voted off tonight?

Kyle: Well, probably me unless I figure something out.

Stewie: Well, who are you going to vote for?

(Stan returns from fishing by the creek.)

Stan Smith: Hey, are we talking tribal council vote over here?

Kyle: Yeah, you got any ideas?

Stan Smith: Do you want to try Wendy again?

Kyle: Sure. We can't vote for Cartman, so that's the next best thing. Now, we need at least one more person to make it an even vote. (looks around) Have you guys seen Quagmire?

(The Cartman alliance is meeting in their usual clearing.)

Cartman: Where the hell is Stewie?

Wendy: He's Probably at the shelter. I think he's a little sick after today's challenge.

Cartman: Very Well. So, for tonight's tribal council, we are voting off…

Quagmire: (interrupting) Yo, kids!

Cartman: (irritated) Who the fuck are you interrupting me like that? I have immunity. I'm the head honcho of this game. I'm…

Quagmire: You're about to lose your chance at a new ally if you don't shut up.

(Cartman is about charge Quagmire, but Wendy holds him back.)

Wendy: Wait! Let's hear what he has to say my love.

Cartman: (calms down) What's your proposition?

Quagmire: Over the past several days, I really haven't been actively playing the game. Now, there's someone I really want to vote off. If you help me out, I will join your alliance.

Cartman: Guys, team huddle! (Cartman, Wendy and Butters get together in a circle.)

Butters: I'm not sure about this fellas.

Cartman: Butters, shut up you black asshole. (turns to Wendy) What do you think, my sweet?

Wendy: Let's go for it. We do what he wants tonight, and then we have the majority going forward.

Cartman: As usual, that is a great idea Wendy. (kisses Wendy on the cheek) (The trio breaks the huddle and turns to Quagmire.) We've made our decision. Who do you want to get rid of?

Day 27: Tribal Council

(The eight castaways walk into the tribal council area and take their seats. On the other side of the fire, Bart is already seated waiting for them.)

Bart: Before we start, let's bring in the three members of our jury: Francine Smith, Ike Broflovski and Brian Griffin. (The three jury members walk in and take their seats in the jury area by Bart. Stewie smiles when he sees Brian for the first time in three days.)

Bart: We started with sixteen of you, and now the field is cut in half. Kyle, how do you think the tribe is divided at the moment?

Kyle: It looks like there are two solid alliances with a couple of people on the outside looking in. The balance of power in this game will be determined by what those outliers do going forward and who they side with.

Bart: Stan, do you still feel anxiety about being the last castaway from American Dad?

Stan Smith: Not really. At this point in the game, dividing lines between shows are not very important. It's more about who you work with, and how you get along with people from other shows.

Bart: Quagmire, I haven't been around the tribe that much. Nonetheless, I have a gut feeling that you are one of those outliers that is not part of either alliance at the moment. Do you think that's a wise decision?

Quagmire: Yes, my strategy is a little unorthodox. However, I believe I'm about to make a move that will turn me into one of the most powerful players in the game. (Quagmire's statement raises quite a few eyebrows.)

Bart: Very interesting. It is now time to vote. Cartman, you have immunity, so you lead us off.

[Cartman walks over to the voting booth with the immunity necklace around his neck. He casts his vote, followed by Butters and Wendy. Kyle then enters the booth and writes down his vote: WENDY.]

Kyle: You have done absolutely nothing but rely on Cartman this whole game. It's time for you to go.

[Kyle puts his vote in the bucket. Shots of Stan, Stewie and Quagmire voting. Lois is the last to vote, and she writes down STAN.]

Lois: I don't know. No one tells me anything around here. [Lois puts vote in bucket and returns to her seat.]

Bart: I will go tally the votes. [Bart leaves and returns with the bucket.] Once the votes are read, the decision is final and the person voted off must leave the tribal council area immediately. I will read the votes.

[Bart pulls first vote out of bucket.]

Bart: First vote is for…Wendy. (Wendy looks a little concerned.) Second vote is for…Stan Smith. (Stan looks at the other castaways, wondering who voted for him.) The next vote is for….Lois. Fourth vote…Lois. Fifth vote…is another for Lois. (Lois is taken aback by the turn of events.) Sixth vote…is for Wendy. That's three for Lois, two for Wendy and one for Stan. Next vote is….a third for Wendy. Wendy and Lois are tied at three votes apiece, with one vote left. [pulls out last vote] The fourth member of our jury is….Lois! Mrs. Griffin, bring me your torch.

(Lois grabs her torch and walks over to Bart.)

Bart: Lois Griffin, the tribe has spoken. (extinguishes torch) You have to go. (Lois promptly leaves the tribal council area.) To the rest of you, congrats on making the final seven. Head on back to camp. Goodnight.

(The seven remaining castaways grab their torches and head back to camp.)

Confessional

Lois: I'm still in shock. I went from getting very few votes in previous tribal councils to suddenly being out of the game. I don't know for sure what happened, but I got a feeling Quagmire was behind it somehow. This was still a great experience, and I'm rooting for either my baby Stewie or that Jewish kid to win it all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get wasted.

Tribal Council #9 Vote

Candidate (# of votes)

Lois (4)- Cartman, Wendy, Butters, Quagmire

Wendy (3)- Kyle, Stan, Stewie

Stan (1)- Lois

Next Time on Survivor…

1. Quagmire has sided with both Cartman's alliance and Kyle's alliance in recent tribal councils. Who will he vote with next?

2. With Stewie now on Kyle's side, Cartman becomes the sole leader of his alliance. Will he draw his ire towards the only Griffin left in the game?

3. A tribal council you will not want to miss!