Thanks so much for the reviews. I actually found this chapter really difficult to write, so I hope that it comes across okay. Probably another 3 or 4 chapters to come after this one, if I can keep the momentum going!

Disclaimer: I do not own City Homicide or its characters.


9.

"Matt, you've had too many to drive." Jen glanced at her watch in irritation. It was starting to get late, she needed to get to Nick.

"Are you offering me a lift?"

She sighed, mentally calculating how long it would take her to drive Matt home, and then drive in the opposite direction to Nick's house.

She stood up, grabbing her bag. "Well,hurry up then, because this taxi is leaving right now."

Matt made no move to get up, instead taking another swig of his beer.

"Matt!" Jen was frustrated now, the annoyance was evident in her voice. "I need to be somewhere."

Matt started to get up out of his chair, slightly unsteady on his feet. "Okay, okay! I'm coming".

It took fifteen minutes for her to help Matt out of the pub and back to the underground carpark at work, to her car.

It was after nine by the time she knocked on Nick's door. She felt awful about being so late, and it dawned on her that she just couldn't do anything right, at the moment. Not when it came to Nick, anyway.

He opened the door and regarded her with a slight smile. "Told you that you wouldn't get out of there in half an hour."

Jen walked in, following Nick into the kitchen. "I know that he was upset, but honestly, it was painful. And I had to end up driving him home."

Nick chuckled softly. They stood and looked at one another, an uncomfortable silence between them. Nick broke it first. "Tea?"

She relaxed her shoulders. "Yeah, thanks."

He had been upset with her, but he could never stay angry with her for long, and he had already softened in his attitude towards her.

The tea made, they settled onto the couch. Jen placed her mug on the coffee table, and regarded him with serious eyes. "I'm sorry for the way I left last night. It was nothing to do with you...it was about me. And it shouldn't have been. Not after what you'd told me." She reached for his hand. "I appreciate you telling me about your brother. I'm so sorry that you went through that."

"You know I'd never keep anything from you, Jen. You probably know more about me than anyone does."

"Yeah, I know." She looked down at their hands, fingers entwined. "It's just that all of this, us working together – it's bringing up things from before, from when we were undercover. It's hard not being able to talk to anyone about what happened, and it's hard pretending that we don't know each other the way that we do. I don't really know how to deal with it all."

Nick looked deep into her eyes. He didn't want to scare her off, but he needed to tell her what was on his mind. "I didn't think I'd see you again."

"I know. I nearly died when you walked into Matt and Emma's that night. I had no idea what to do."

He smiled at her, squeezing her hand. "I think you handled it pretty well, you managed to act like you didn't know me."

Jen looked away from him, feeling emotional. "I found it really hard to cope. Afterwards. With being back in my own life, having to carry on like normal, Not being able to talk to anyone about what had happened. I kept having nightmares about some of that stuff that happened. I couldn't sleep properly." She looked embarrassed. " I really missed you during that time."

He felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe all was not lost. "Me too. Talking to the departmental psych is okay, but it's not the same as talking to someone else who went through the same thing. I still don't sleep properly."

"Me either. I often see Hartono's face, see what he did...then I get worried that one day he'll see me around somewhere, I'll run into him. And then what? If he suspects that we were never who we said we were, then we become targets as well..."

The tears welled up in her eyes, and no matter how she tried, she could not stop them from starting to fall. Now that she had started talking about it, she couldn't deny her fear, couldn't pretend to him that she was strong, that she wasn't still haunted by the things that had happened four years previously.

He took her in his arms and held her tightly, lightly brushing his lips against the side of her head. Against her better judgement, she couldn't help but sink into him, feeling enveloped by his arms, completely safe and protected. It was the first time in four years that she had felt that way.


They hurried back inside the rental property that was their home. Jen was trembling. She looked to Nick for support, for comfort. Nick, who was pacing up and down the living room floor, arms locked behind his head.

"What now?" Jen asked. "What are we supposed to do?"

He stopped pacing and looked at her. "We wait".

Her lips trembled slightly, betraying the emotion that she felt. "I can't sit around just waiting, Nick. Hartono knows that someone has been double crossing him. It's over!"

Nick sat down at the dining table, wringing his hands. "There's no reason to think that he suspects it's us. Let's calm down and think about this rationally."

Jen felt as though she were teetering on the brink. She was terrified, and she couldn't hide it from him. She had never felt so scared, so vulnerable.

"But he looked straight at me when he said that he knows who it is, that he's going to make them pay!"

Nick stood and grabbed Jen by the shoulders. He looked into her eyes, his voice soothing. "Jen, it's okay. I won't let anything happen to us. It's going to be okay."

He wrapped her in his arms, lightly kissing the top of her head. He couldn't guarantee their safety, he knew that. Their lives depended upon their SIS colleagues being on the ball, and looking out for them. They also had the support of Jamie, another undercover operative, who was also working the same assignment. He would contact Jamie tonight, discuss the new development.

Nick fully expected the SIS to make contact soon, give some guidance about how to proceed. In the meantime, he needed to try to keep Jennifer as calm as possible.


Still cradling her in his arms, Nick whispered softly against her ear. "Stay with me. Just tonight. I think we both just need to not be alone."

She nodded slowly. Part of her didn't think that being close to him was a wise idea, but feeling his arms around her again, she knew that she couldn't leave even if she wanted to.

He gave her a long windcheater to put on. She changed in the bathroom, pulling it over her underwear.

When she came out, he had already changed into his boxers and a t-shirt and he was in bed.

Shyly, she climbed in next to him, and curled up on her side. He reached over and turned out the light, then lay behind her, facing her back. Without really meaning to, she moved herself back against him, snuggling into the curve of his body. He was warm and strong and it was everything that she remembered, everything that she had missed.

He moved his arm around to lay over her waist, and her hand immediately settled upon it. They had settled into the familiar sleeping position that they had shared for 13 months, all those years ago. She closed her eyes, feeling completely comfortable, knowing that this was how it was supposed to be.