Chapter 9
Lillian knocked loudly on Booth's door as she struggled to juggle the crates of beers in her arms. She yelled through the door.
"Booth? Booth? Seeley Joseph Booth, open this door now, or I'll get drunk without you!"
She heard a crash coming from the other side of the door and a muffled oath, and then Booth's aggravated voice came from directly behind the door.
"Alright, i'm coming...i'm coming. Jeeze girl...can't you ever be late?"
He swung the door open and Lillian got a very nice view of a half naked Booth, with only a towel riding low on his hips.
"Wowsa Booth...you open the door like that to everyone?"
He smirked at her.
"If so, I'm surprised Dr Brennan hasn't jumped you already!"
At the mention of Brennan's name his face fell, and he just gestured for her to enter.
"Too soon hey big guy?"
He just glared at her.
"Definitely too soon."
"Give me a min Lil."
He walked back towards his bedroom leaving Lillian to get settled. She kicked off her shoes and wandered into his kitchen, leaving the beers on his counter. She caught sight of the take out and smiled.
"Thai...result!"
She grabbed the food and brought it out to the living room, placing it on the table. She grabbed herself and Booth a couple of beers, and yelled towards his bedroom.
"Get your fine ass out here before there's nothing left!"
"You touch my Thai and you're a dead, woman!"
"Oooooh, them be fighting words! I reckon I could take you!"
Booth wandered out of his room buttoning his top.
"Only 'cause you cheat!"
Lillian sent him an innocent smile.
"Only when I can't win fairly."
Booth laughed and settled himself onto the sofa next to Lillian, grabbing the beer she held out.
"Cheers Lil. Now let's eat."
They spent the next 40 minutes in a companionable silence working their way through the food and beers. By the time the food was gone they were both on their fifth beer and feeling a little tipsy.
"So Booth...you ready yet?"
Booth sent her a sexy smirk.
"I'm always ready baby!"
Lillian just rolled her eyes.
"Serious time, Booth."
Booth stopped smiling and just stared at her for a moment.
"If we're going to do this...it has to go both ways. You need to be honest with me Lil."
Lillian glanced away from his kind stare for a moment, and then looked back.
"Deal. Me first ok? Just to get it out of the way. Then, we'll deal with Dr Brennan."
She swung herself round on the sofa so she was sat cross-legged facing Booth.
Booth nodded and waited for her to begin. When she stayed silent, he realised she wasn't going to make it easy for him. He leaned forward in earnest.
"Lillian...why did you go? I would have helped you get through it...you know that right?"
Lillian placed her hand on his arm.
"I know Booth, I just..."
She sighed heavily and started again.
"Too many memories and, I felt...I could be happier at home."
"England's not your home Lil. You lived here for most of your adult life. This is home. I'm home."
Lillian gave Booth a weak smile.
"You had so much going on Booth...the army...FBI...gambling...I didn't want to burden you."
Booth attempted to speak but she cut him off.
"I know you didn't...don't feel that way Booth. I know you never would I was just...worried about you. For you. I wanted you to fix yourself, not worry about me."
"So you left? We could have helped each other Lil. We said we'd always be there for each other...what happened to that?"
Lillian gave Booth a sad smile.
"We grew up."
They stared at each other silently for a moment and then Lillian continued.
"After he died...I just felt so guilty and I just thought...if I got out of the country where it happened, I could...live again."
Seeing her in so much pain really hurt Booth, but he didn't know how to make it better. He tried anyway.
"It wasn't your fault Lil. You know that."
Lillian gave him a tired smile.
"Do I? I was supposed to look out for him, Booth. He was my responsibility. I was so focused on college and having a good time, and then on my career that I didn't see his pain. Or maybe I did and I chose to ignore it? It ate me up, and I just needed...God, I needed an escape."
Booth's heart broke for her. They sat silently for another minute until Lillian burst out in anger.
"God damn it, he was 21 years old. 21...and he killed himself. What do I do with that Booth? How do I move on?"
Booth put his arm around her and pulled her close.
"You don't Lil. Hey...look at me."
He raised her chin so she was looking into his eyes, and the sight of her tear filled eyes nearly broke him.
"You don't move on. You remember him. You treasure his memory...and you learn to live again. It's not the same life as before...it can't be. But you live."
Lillian stared seriously at him until she offered a weak smile.
"You know I love you, right Booth?"
"I know. I love you too. Now...go clear yourself up and we'll finish up here."
This caused Lillian to smile.
"Nice try mate. Your heartfelt confession is next...you're not getting away that easy!"
Booth snapped his fingers and smiled.
"Damn...worth a try though?"
"Always!"
Lillian left the sofa to clear herself up in the bathroom, and Booth got up and removed the empty takeout from the table to thrown it in the garbage. He then grabbed another couple of beers, aware he was going to need it, and sat back on the sofa awaiting Lillian's return.
Both parties remained unaware of the forensic anthropologist standing with her fist raised to knock on the door, tears beginning to fall at the sound of the man she loves declaring his love to a woman who was not her. She turned to leave, taking one last stricken look at his door before hurrying away to her car where she could break in private.
