"Well folks, I'M BACK!" said Joker "And so is the show!"
"Welcome back to," cried Harley Quinn.
"Survivor: JLU Edition!" yelled the maniacs in unison.
"My dear viewers it has been a great deal of time since we've seen you," said Joker "We were put on hiatus due to what our writers call a 'school trip to Costa Rica' 'being in a musical' '' and 'no electronic access'. Harley!"
"Yes Puddin'," replied Harley, apparently whatever had bothered her last episode had been resolved.
Harley Quinn's Confessional
"He's going to go on a rant again isn't he…?"
"What the heck is that supposed to mean? Is it code for something? Why'd they put us on hiatus? WHY!"
Joker then proceeded to start sobbing as he screamed wordlessly.
Harley Quinn's Confessional
"Yup definitely ranting,"
At this point the heroes walked out of their cabins looked at him wordlessly and moved on to look at Harley.
"Puddin' Mistah J!" yelled Harley trying to get his attention; she shook her head when he continued to sob "Last time we eliminated Angel Beats, today who knows? We've got Greek Geek, the Dark Dork, NestQuik, the Godfather, Quizzlet and Elf-man."
"That's right Harley m'dear," continued Joker "Today's challenge is a straight up fight, simple one on one. GOT IT GOODIES?!"
"Time for them to pound on each other, instead of us right Puddin'" said Harley excitedly.
"Why isn't she mad at him anymore?" muttered Flash to no one in particular.
"Sooooo….." said Joker in a duh voice "Any who Leaguers you've got 5 minutes to prep… AND GO!" yelled Harley.
Flash's Confessional
"I refuse to lose this, I REFUSE! But seriously though, why isn't she mad at him anymore? IT's not creepy that I want to know right? Right?!"
All the leaguers, instead of pairing off like they normally did, they all stayed together in a large group mostly because of something Flash had just said.
"Are you guys up to date on the latest league gossip?" said Flash "And I don't mean you and Bats, Di. That's totally two months ago and plus we'd all already guessed."
Batman's Confessional
I thought we were being stealthy…humph."
"Really?" said Diana
"Yup," said Flash "Any ways, apparently Shayera and GL are back together."
Batman and Wonder Woman's Confessional
"This is going to end well…" they said in complete unison.
"Really?" said Huntress "That didn't work out so well that first time."
"They're better now," said Flash.
"It's true," said Green Arrow.
"If you say so, Wally," said Batman.
"Vixen is not going to be okay with…" said Huntress.
"Actually Vixen's gotten over it," said Question.
"Are you sure Q? She seemed really upset…" asked Huntress.
"She realized she could do better than Golem," interrupted Joker loudly "You guys are very gossipy, and I'm ashamed to be near you. WONDY, HOW COULD YOU!"
"Said the homicidal clown," replied Batman dryly.
"AWWW shucks, thanks Batsy," gushed the Joker.
Joker's Confessional
"HE'S SO NICE! CALLING ME HOMICIDAL! HE'S SO SWEET!"
"Alright folks it's time for round one!' yelled Harley "the duelers are: Flashikins vs. Batsy, Clay face vs. No face and Blondie Hood vs. Buttress."
Flash's Confessional
"I STILL REFUSE TO LOSE! Hey, that kind of rhymes lose refuse, refuse lose. YOU WILL NEVER BEAT ME BATZ!"
"Have fun! My dear leaguers," said Joker "always remember to BEAT THEM UP!"
Then he dissolved into giggles as the heroes got into their groups.
(AN: I suck at writing fights so bear with me I'm sorry)
Round One
Wonder Woman vs. Question
The match started as expected with Wonder Women being the aggressor. She threw a punch at him; he ducked and followed it up with a punch to her ribs. Question, however underestimated her speed she grabbed his hand and flipped the detective over her shoulder and kind of smashed him into the ground.
Let's just say Question wasn't going to be winning this fight.
"Congrats Wondy!" said Harley "Slendy for shame!"
Green Arrow vs. Huntress
This fight was interesting to say the least. Huntress was a master at hand-to-hand combat, Ollie was decent. What stopped Helena from pressing her advantage were Ollie's trick arrows considering she couldn't use hers at risk of hurting him. Dinah would not be pleased if that happened.
So Huntress and Green Arrow's fight continued until Oliver shot and Arrow at her; it was going to hit her.
Until she caught the arrow, Helena grinned this was Oliver's last arrow, she was going to win. Until she noticed Oliver was smirking.
It was then when she noticed the arrow she'd caught wasn't a normal arrow (well normal for Ollie anyway). Just then Oliver pressed a button on his quiver. Sleep gas poured out of the arrow.
God Dammit Arrow was Helena's last thought before she drifted off to dream land.
"GAS!" yelled Joker "a victory after my own heart. Should've seen that one coming Italiana."
Green Arrow's Confessional
"Great, I just had to use gas…now the clown thinks I'm his new best friend or something…
Flash vs. Batman
All the other battles had been interesting, this one was downright strange. At first no one had expected it to be much of a fight in the first place I mean come on Batman, The Dark Knight, against the Flash it should've been a no brainer.
Except it wasn't, in fact, it wasn't even close.
Unpredictably, Batman started the offensive throwing a Batarang at Flash; he was obviously hoping that when Speedster dodged he'd be distracted; Flash obviously had something else in mind. As the Batarang hurtled towards him Flash ducked under it and instead ran super speed at Batman landing a blow in the Caped Crusader's stomach.
This wasn't what the Bat had been expecting.
No sooner than Batman had recovered from the blow, Flash had darted behind him and kicked right behind the Dark Knight's knees putting him off balance. This put him exactly where Flash wanted him, he could once again dart around to the front and punch the Terror of Gotham in his nose, knocking him out.
Flash had won.
Flash's Confessional
"I TOLD YOU SO! TAKE THAT BATZ!"
"NO ONE'S ALLOWED TO BEAT BATSY BUT ME!" whined Joker "Humph I guess Quicksilver can advance to the next round."
"That's right Mistah J," said Harley trying to comfort the sulking clown. Next round is Wondy vs. Blondie, seeing as Flashikins beat Batsies he can just automatically advance."
Round Two
Wonder Woman vs. Green Arrow
This battle wasn't nearly as interesting as the last ones. Green Arrow arrows weren't exactly working because of his opponent's ridiculous bracelets and reflexes, so he was left with nothing but his hand-to-hand skills.
Wonder Woman was a freaking Amazon.
The match ended with Green Arrow being slammed into the ground much like Question.
"Who saw that one coming viewers," said Joker in a bored voice, but then he perked up "Time for round three! Flashikins vs. Princess, TIME FOR SOME REAL FUN!"
He dissolved into hysterics as Harley announced Round Three.
Round Three
Now this fight was fun. After watching Flash beat Batman; Diana had learned not to underestimate Wally. Wally had never underestimated Diana, so their esteem of each other was at an equal.
Diana began the offensive (obviously), she was using all of her goddess given speed to try and land a hit, but she just couldn't. Wally was basically a mini whirlwind, darting here and there, landing hits at breakneck speed.
Diana was getting hit everywhere, and all at once she didn't even know where her opponent it was. Until it was too late, it seemed out Wally appeared out of nowhere in front of her.
"Sorry Di," he said apologetically "I owe you an iced mocha," before punching her in the nose and knocking her out.
"HAHAH! Who'd have thought, who'd have thought," laughed Joker "All hail the Speeding Stupidity, triumphant over Batgods and royalty. Congratulations NestQuik!"
Harley also seemed overcome with excitement "Batsy, Slendy and Non-Leaguer! We will see you at Elimination!"
Later at the beach sat Batman, alone; on the log texting on his phone he didn't look happy. Obviously whatever he had just learned was bad news.
Batman's Confessional
"Oracle couldn't track Joker's paperwork… or who the hell got our signatures."
Huntress and Question were sitting by the ocean discussing The Conspiracy, and surprisingly their vacation plans. Apparently Spain was nice this time of year.
Their chatting and Batman's scowling was interrupted by the sight of Joker and Harley falling from the sky. Or rather more accurately they parachuted down from skydiving.
"Welcome to the beach of losers, dear heroes, this is where we find who stays and who goes," said Joker once they'd landed "To begin, Quizzlet say good to your fellows on this beach, because you Conspiracy Nut are safe."
Question nodded and went to sit on another log.
"Now it's between two of my fellow Gothamites, The Dork Knight and the Buttress of Gotham," said Joker "Harley!"
"Yes Puddin'," answered Harley.
"Drumroll if you would please," he asked in a melodramatic, syrupy, sweet voice.
Harley Quinn once again produced the bongos randomly from who knows where.
"Our audience hates…" said the Joker pausing for dramatic effect "Italiana, the most! Congrats Godfather, Mafia Princess, Non-Leaguer, Salad Dressing, Vinaigrette I bid you the fondest farewell!"
"BYAH!" cried Harley "We'll go shopping!"
Huntress's Confessional
"I am not going shopping with that crazy clown."
"Well bye," said Helena before she grabbed Q by the tie and kissed him on his featureless face "Win this for me Q."
With that the Huntress, winked jauntily, flipped over the boat's railing and sailed away.
"That's all folks," said Harley Quinn.
"See you next time on," continued Joker psychotically.
"SURVIVOR: JLU EDTION!" they shrieked together.
AN: I lied, I did disappear, sorry about once again disappearing. I had exams, then I went to Costa Rica, then I was in a musical and I then couldn't get inspiration for anything. I must have rewrote this chapter about 5 times, not sure if I'm happy with it...I guess it'll have to do. I am once again extremely sorry. Review and PM for our next elimination.
-Bella
