Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers.
Their relationship, or whatever it, was complicated. Very complicated, like the fact that Tony wasn't really sure how to classify how long it had been going on. It technically had been going on for more than a year, but it had only been two months since the two of them had both given up forgetting about each other. Their "ventures" used to always be scheduled, but now they were more or less random. Loki would come every three or four days, although sometimes shorter, and the two of them would screw like bunnies until Loki finally teleported away.
Tony was in the middle of seeing how much damage a 'god's' skin could take before it turned colors, one of his favorite things to do, when suddenly he heard a sound that sent dread throughout his entire naked body. It was his bedroom door, and it had just been opened. Loki's head, and his own, in near perfect unison, snapped to the door to see who it was and he was sure that his stomach was not the only stomach that plummeted to the floor when they saw who was standing in the doorway. It was Thor. Though the guy wasn't always the sharpest tool in the shed, to Tony's chagrin he did seem to understand what was going on.
Loki backed away from him though still stayed in the bed and moved the sheets to cover himself more, Tony copied the movement. Tony was just glad that they hadn't actually gotten to the good part yet and backed a bit away from Loki as well.
Thor wasn't talking. Why wasn't he saying anything? Why was he just looking from Loki to him? He looked at Loki who looked unnerved and surprised as well. Thor started towards the two of them, and Loki's expression jumped right to scared. He knew that look, and he could practically feel what Loki was going to do. Tony moved towards Loki quickly still keeping his body under the sheet and begged.
"Take me with you." Loki looked between Thor and Tony for a moment before nodding. He grabbed his hand. Tony felt like he couldn't breathe, like he was being smothered, like there were bands of iron around his chest making it so that he couldn't exhale. After a moment the feeling stopped, and he found himself to be in another place. Tony took in a few deeps breaths to make up for the short but unnerving sensation. The genius had always wonder how teleporting would feel, but now that he actually had teleported he found that he wasn't a huge fan of it.
"You get used to it," Loki said.
Tony turned his attention towards the nude god, then turned his attention almost immediately towards their surroundings. They were in a high-end apartment, not as nice as his place but still pretty high end. They were in a bedroom, most likely Loki's bedroom, given the green and black color scheme that Loki favored. The bed had four posts made out of a dark wood, and the bed curtains were emerald colored. The dressers were made of the same dark wood, and while there weren't a lot of adornments in the room, everything was made from high-end materials and cut it in an aesthetically pleasing way.
"Is this your's?" Tony asked. They had been together, as whatever they were, for two months, or a two months and a year depending on how you saw it. In all that time, he had never seen Loki's place before. In fact, he had rarely seen Loki outside his own floor of the Avenger's Tower.
"Yes," Loki said. "Thor wouldn't be able to find us here," He said, making his way to the dark drawers and pulled on some underwear and black jeans.
"Do you want anything?" He inquired, gesturing to his drawers "I don't know if any it of it would fit-"
Tony interrupted before Loki could finish calling him short again, it was something he found funny. "Just a shirt," Tony said, not liking the idea of wearing another man's underwear, or pants without underwear.
Loki threw him a shirt and Tony caught it. It was a plain black shirt and if he remembered right it was one of the shirts which was a little looser on Loki. Funny; he hadn't realized that he knew that about Loki.
As Tony put on the shirt, since Loki was both taller than him and broader, the shirt reached about mid-thigh on him. The raven haired being put on a shirt as well, a soft blue one. Tony changed his mind after a moment. He had regular sex with Loki, having sex couldn't be less personal than wearing his underwear and pants.
He opened his mouth but apparently Loki somehow already knew because he tossed him some underwear and pants. Loki watched in what appeared to be amusement as Tony put the trickster's pants on. They were a bit too long and a bit too wide, so they were prone to falling down, after the second time he pulled up the pants Loki threw him a belt.
They were both dressed now. Since they were Loki's clothes, they obviously fit him a lot better than they fit Tony. The both of them seemed equally unsure of what to do. Usually, once they were both dressed or at least Loki was dressed, he'd teleport away. Lately, Loki had been taking longer to get dressed, but still, once he was, he generally left.
"So your brother knows," Tony said folded his arms around each other.
"He's not my brother," But Loki seemed to be saying it more as an automatic reaction than anything else. He too seemed to be troubled by this development.
"He's going to tell everyone. That blabbermouth could never keep anything to himself." Loki said spitefully.
One thing he, even as genius, didn't understand was Loki and Thor's relationship. They both tended to pretend like they didn't care at all about the other one, but still seemed to care regardless of their words. Tony didn't know what to say so he just nodded, doubting that Thor was going to be able to keep it to himself.
He didn't even know what Thor thought about this whole thing. Honestly, he was a little frightened about the prospect of finding out what Thor, Loki's big brother who wielded a giant ass hammer, was thinking about him at this very moment.
The brunette looked at Loki, who had moved off to gaze out of one of his bedroom windows. His arms wrapped themselves tightly around each other, and he was staring intently out the window. His jaw, arms, and really everything in his body was tight with tension.
Tony felt his own body doing the same thing. He was going to have to explain everything to his teammates. He was going to have to deal with at best weeks of silent treatment from Clint and, or Natasha, and at worst a complete dissolution of their respective friendships. Steve wouldn't understand and probably neither would Bruce. Lastly, there was Thor, who might fry him for sleeping with his brother. All in all, when he went back, whenever that was, it was going to be an awful day.
"So it's over?" Loki whispered his voice barely audible.
Tony's brows creased but thought about his words. Yes, it should be over. It would make it much easier on him if it were over. Tony's teammates would be less angry at him, well except for maybe Thor, Thor might kill him twice instead of just once- unless he was still angry with Loki as he said he was. If that was the case, then Thor might just kill him for fraternizing with him. Maybe he needed more time.
Tony found himself looking at Loki and found it strange that he was more used to Loki without his clothes than with them on. "Do you have anything to eat?" Tony asked rather than answering Loki's question. A look of irritated sprouted over Loki's face, but he pointed him in a direction regardless.
"Help yourself," Loki spoke, then turned himself so that his back was the only thing that he could see. Tony nodded even though Loki couldn't see it, turned towards the door and opened it.
Loki's place had dark wood floors and had a very neat way about them. There were no photos in the hall that he found himself in, but there were paintings and sculptures. He walked slowly down the hall and ended up in a kitchen that had a table with the same dark coloring as the dresser had. It also, more importantly, had a black fridge, which he opened eagerly.
He opened the fridge. It was full of food, many of which he had hardly ever seen, all of which he was pretty sure had to be cooked in order to be edible. He wasn't exactly a great cook. That's what the billionaire had money for, to order food or to get people to cook for him.
The billionaire closed the door and started opening cupboards, made of the same dark wood, looking for something to eat that didn't have to be cooked. He struck gold as he opened the fifth cupboard, and his eyes widened as he saw that nearly the entire cupboard full of treats. Oreos, graham crackers, a variety of different brands of other cookies. The brunette reopened the package of Oreos and grabbed a few from the package just as he heard Loki clear his throat. Loki was in front of him looking at Tony feasting on the Oreos.
"Want one?" Tony asked, and Loki raised an eyebrow since technically Tony was offering him one of his own Oreos.
"Yes." Loki said after a minute and held out his hand.
"You sure have a lot of sweets," Tony said, placing one of the Oreos in Loki's waiting hand and used his other hand to gesture to the open cupboard full of the stuff.
"I have a bit of a sweet tooth," Loki replied while biting into the small cookie.
"A bit?" Tony asked, gesturing again to the cupboard. Loki shrugged and smirked as he took another bite of his cookie.
"You know," Tony said a little suggestively. "If I had known about this sweet tooth of yours I could have coated a certain body part of mine in chocolate." Loki smile widened then faded away. Right. Everyone knew, he had kind of forgotten for a moment.
"Yeah," Was all Loki said, then finished the last of the Oreo cookie. Tony grabbed another cookie from the package so that his mouth would be full so that he wouldn't have to talk yet.
What were they going to do? 'They,' He had thought. 'They' not 'he' not 'Tony' but 'they'. Even knowing what was coming if he didn't end it, he couldn't' seem to think about it. Couldn't seem to think of a world where there wasn't this. It had only been two months, plus or minus a year. Even though he hadn't remembered the whole time, he had remembered it intensely for that part of the year.
"How do you afford this place?" Tony asked trying to buy more time to think. Loki looked at him for a long moment, if Tony had to guess he would guess he was gauging whether or not to tell Tony. He stopped himself from frowning when he realized that he seemed to be abnormally good at figuring out the emotions on Loki's face, ones that he doubted other who didn't know him as well wouldn't see. Loki seemed to come to some sort of decision and replied with a smirk.
"I hack and steal money."
Tony blinked. "Right of course you do." It made sense. Loki had to know computers and codes pretty well in order to be able to put the codes he had on to his device like he had months ago. Loki went on before he could think much more about it.
"Most of it from criminals who hide things in the Cayman islands. People who have so much money that missing a couple to tens of thousands dollars isn't worth letting anyone know about it, who doesn't already know." Tony had a feeling like Loki was only telling him this because he thought that they were over, and he had nothing left to lose. Was that true?
"You steal from criminals?" Tony asked incredulously. He wasn't sure what to think about that. On the one hand, it was better than stealing from lawful citizens, and it was brazen. On the other hand it was dangerous, he didn't like the thought of Loki being hurt.
"They're the ones who don't report it," Loki replied with a shrug.
"Is… isn't that dangerous?" Tony asked before he could stop himself. Did he really want to stop himself?
"I think you know by now that I can take care of myself," The raven haired 'god' said with a proud grin. That was certainly true. Ever since Loki had learned to teleport, he had been near impossible to catch or to injure. That didn't mean that he wasn't still worried. Wait he was worried about Loki-
This wasn't supposed to be like this! Yet, he had known even when he agreed to stop forgetting that there was something deeper between the two of them, something that neither of them wanted to talk about. They both wanted the surface of their relationship, the sex, and they both hid from the other thing.
Now that Thor knew, they couldn't hide from it as much anymore. A choice had to be made. To keep Loki and alienate everyone else in his life, or to lose him and still maybe lose them. Such a messy, complicated thing. Loki's eyes narrowed, and then he pinned Tony to the nearest counter, a very familiar position.
"Sex in the kitchen?" Tony asked with a raised eyebrow, though he had a good idea that Loki wasn't trying to seduce him.
"Stop stalling," apparently Loki knew him as well. "Just tell me the truth," Loki pleaded. Loki had hardly ever asked anything of him. He hadn't even asked him not to take the potion when Tony could tell how pained watching him take it over and over again had made Loki.
Once he had stopped taking the potion, Loki had asked nothing of him. He didn't appear to want anything more from him, only enough backbone to remember what the hell he was doing when they weren't together. But he still did appear to want to keep doing this, even if everyone else knew as well now.
He looked into Loki's eyes as something clicked inside of him, something that he had known for awhile, but hadn't wanted to give a voice to. He wasn't going to let him go. Yeah, he'd catch a lot of crap for it from a lot of people but he wasn't giving this up.
"I don't want to end this." Tony finally said, and Loki blinked clearly not expecting that answer.
"You don't? Even though your friends will know?" He asked like he wasn't quite sure he believed it.
"No, I don't," Tony spoke honestly.
"Is this some sort of jest?" Loki asked and Tony rolled his eyes at that.
"No." He replied and felt something else bubble up beside the slight irritation of not being believed. Hurt, and that's when he knew he cared a whole hell of a lot more than he used to think. He actually cared quite a bit, so much that it honestly was kind of freaking him out. His freak out was cut a little short due to Loki's next words.
"We're going to have to change our arrangement," Loki said after a long moment. "Your place is no longer safe. I might be able to convince them that this is a ploy of mine, that I put you under some sort of spell-"
"No." Tony cut him off.
"No? What?" Loki seemed honestly confused.
"Just, no more lies."
Loki looked even more puzzled by his words. "But I am-"
"I know, god of lies-" Tony interrupted again. "But if they found out once, there going to do it again and a lie is worse than an omission. If they find out and we lied, then they will never ever trust me again."
"Okay, then we don't lie." Loki said after a moment of contemplation. "We just move the location from your place to mine and then we have to be more careful because S.H.I.E.L.D.-"
"I want to be together." Tony said without fully thinking it through. Loki's face became a mask again, he hated that look.
"You want to want?"
"Be together."
"Aren't we already together?"
"No." Tony said with a shake of his head "I want us to be together, like together together."
Loki still seemed confused. Tony realized he might have to use different words because of their cultural differences. "Like dating?" Tony tried again.
"I don't understand."
"Don't they have dating in Asgard?" Tony asked frustrated, not knowing how to make it simpler.
"No, I understand the concept, but I don't understand why you want it. We have this, anything more would be complicated."
"I'm alright with complicated," Tony said, bringing up his right hand to stroke the right side of Loki's face, even though it took a bit to get the words out especially since Loki seemed resistant to the idea.
It was hard enough to put himself out there again without Loki seeming like he wasn't exactly on the same page as him. Loki looked very uncomfortable with the whole idea, and Tony's heart was thudding loudly in his ears. Loki stepped away from him from his touch and looked up at the ceiling and then down to the floor, avoiding his gaze.
This was not how things were supposed to go. It wasn't like he had thought about it much, since he hadn't even figured out his feelings till moments ago, but when he had spoke he had thought that Loki would be as receptive, or at least somewhat as receptive to the idea as he was.
"Look, can we not just stay with what we have?" Loki asked, and for a moment there was no air in his lungs and the butterflies were gone, replaced by a giants walrus who was harshly crushing his stomach. What he had been avoiding for most of his life, feelings more than sex, they had betrayed him yet again. After Pepper, he had sworn never to let anyone in again, but his stupid heart hadn't listened. At least he knew now- at least he could-
Could what? Could leave? Could sever all ties with Loki? Isn't that what had just told Loki he didn't want to do? Wasn't he in Loki's place, only minutes ago. Yes, now he knew that he cared about Loki as more than just his sex partner, but Loki wasn't to that point yet.
Since it had taken Tony a long time to get there, he couldn't exactly blame Loki for not quite being there yet. Especially after everything he had put Loki through in the beginning of their relationship. He had spent over a year denying the existence of their relationship. He had spent a year hurting Loki because of that denial, and Loki had spent the same year being the one who cared more in their relationship which he hadn't liked. It was really no wonder that Loki was unable to just make that jump that Tony had after he had spent so long hurting Loki.
Loki had been dealt many hard blows in his life. Most of the information about Loki's life he gotten subtly from Thor, since Loki would teleport out if Tony asked for even the slightest detail of his past. If Tony was reluctant to let anyone in, Loki erected a force field around himself. The fact that Tony had managed to wriggle his way in as far as he already had, was nothing short of a miracle. All Loki wanted for the moment was for Tony to remember him and be there physically for him. He could do that for Loki. For now, he could be the one who cared more for awhile.
"Okay."
"Okay?" Loki asked sounding surprised.
"Yes, okay," Tony assured himself he added mentally 'for now.' Tony turned around and headed away from Loki.
"Where are you going?" Loki asked, Tony didn't turn back around until he reached his destination, the fridge. Knowing what he now knew about Loki, he pushed the more healthy stuff aside and found what he thought he would find in the back. After pushing a few more things aside, he found the item he was looking for and took it out of the fridge. Loki eyes narrowed slightly as he took in the object in his hands.
"Want to lick this off me?" He asked gesturing to the bottle of fudge intended for ice cream in his hands.
"No way, it will get all over my sheets," Tony blinked, not expecting Loki to disagree. Loki leaned over him and pulled something else out of the fridge.
"Now this," he said holding up a can of whipped cream. "This will work."
"Fine with me."
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