Part 9
(I hope this reads okay. There is spanking of an adult in this part so if you do not like please do not read. Let me know if this convincing or do you think I should redo it. Thanks to Peppe for her advice.)
Tony sat on the bed his knees hugged to his chest. He couldn't go through with this, he couldn't. However he knew his legs were shaking too much to allow him to stand never mind run. All the sounds in the house seemed to be intensified. He could hear the clock ticking loudly and then he heard it, feet on the stairs. He could remember this from before. His father's feet pounding up the stairs, then his door flung open and then........ he didn't want to think about it. He put his hands over his ears to block out the sounds and shut his eyes.
Gibbs opened the door and walked in. He could see how nervous Tony was. He had to do something to calm him down. He shut the door behind him and Tony's eyes flew open. He saw them go to the paddle that was in his hand. "I can't do this," Tony said. "I can't do this."
Gibbs made to move forward but Tony pulled himself into a tighter self hug watching the paddle the whole time. Gibbs turned round and set the paddle on the dresser and then went over to sit beside Tony. "What can't you do?" he asked softly.
"This family thing. I'm no good at it. You should just let me go. My father was right. I'm so f***ed up."
"Stop that Tony. There is nothing wrong with you. And I will not be letting you go anywhere. Let's just talk for now."
"How can you want me?"
"I love you, it's as simple as that." He tried to draw Tony into his arms but he wouldn't let him."
"You need to tell me what is wrong? I can't help you if you won't talk to me." Tony looked over at the paddle and glared at it. "Is it that?"
"I... can't Gibbs. I don't want you to use it."
"Then I won't." Tony looked up not really believing him. "I mean it. If it scares you that much then I won't use it. I'm not trying to torment you." Gibbs could see Tony looking at it on top of the dresser so Gibbs got up, picked it up and set it outside the door. "Okay?" Tony seemed to relax a bit. "Want to tell me what's still bothering you?" Tony shook his head. "You know I'll sit here until you do." Tony stopped hugging his knees to his chest but did not push his legs straight. "You can tell me anything Tony, I won't judge you."
"You must think I'm a coward being scared of that piece of wood." He pointed towards the door.
"No I don't. If I'm honest I didn't really like holding it either. Brought back too many memories. When I crashed the car wasn't the only time Dad used that on me. If I'd had my way back then I'd have burnt the thing."
"Wouldn't have stopped my dad," Tony said in a voice so soft Gibbs had to struggle to hear what he said. "He didn't care what he hit me with as long as it hurt. But I never cried." Tony said that with pride. "Think that used to really piss him off. He always used to say men don't cry so I made sure I never did." Gibbs could have cried. How could a man put his son through that? He was a child he should have been protecting him not battering him. He put an arm round Tony's shoulders and pulled him to him. This time he held onto Gibbs. "He thought I was a waste of his time and his money."
"He's the one that lost out Tony. I'm the lucky one. I've got you now and I don't intend to let you go."
They sat like that for quite a while. Gibbs wondered if Tony had gone to sleep. He ran his fingers through Tony's hair. "I like it when you do that. My mum used to do that. She said I had lovely hair."
"Could she not stop your father?" Gibbs asked.
"She was dead. He said it was all my fault. I must have done something to distract the driver to make him crash. But I didn't. I tried to tell dad what had happened but he wouldn't believe me. He trusted the driver more than me."
Gibbs held him close. This boy of his had gone through so much, how had he turned out all right. He understood a bit more about why Tony always rushed straight into danger, he was always trying to prove himself. Well no more. "Is there anything else worrying you?" Tony shook his head but Gibbs would not let him get away with it. "Tony, I want to know." Tony's body became more tense again worried that he had annoyed Gibbs. "I'm not angry Tony. I just want to understand."
"I ..." he hesitated. "I was worried that you might end up like him, thinking I was weak and too much trouble to bother about."
Gibbs gave him a light slap on the back of the head. "Never going to happen." Tony relaxed again. "I'm not saying I won't get angry at you but you can be sure you'll know why. Like running off and going after car thieves on your own. Or running into situations without calling for backup or..."
"Okay I get it," Tony said in a lighter voice.
"I'm in this for good. If you want to be my son it's not something we do today and forget about when we're back at work. It is for keeps. You're the son that I want."
"Nearly got a movie quote out of you," Tony quipped. "Grease, you must have seen it." Gibbs was glad Tony was more settled now but they still had to confront the question of his punishment.
"I have but I'll deny it if you say otherwise." He sat up and swung his legs over the bed. "Sit beside me Tony." He patted the bed to the right of him. Tony moved to sit beside him. "I want you to answer me truthfully. What is it about me punishing you that frightens you?"
"I don't want you to be like him."
"I promise you I will never be like him. Now I promised you I wouldn't use the paddle and I won't but I am going to punish you." Tony made to stand up but Gibbs put his hand on his shoulder to stop him. "I want you to lie over my knees with your body on the bed."
"No. I'm not a kid," Tony protested. "I don't want to be spanked like a kid."
"You are a kid, my kid." He didn't want to have to put Tony over his knee, he wanted him to do it himself. He had to make sure that Tony trusted him enough to do it.
"Fine," Tony huffed. Gibbs waited until he was in place and then he put his arm round Tony's waist to hold him in position. He wasted no time starting and brought his hand down hard on Tony's backside. This was followed by nine more, each as hard as the one before. He heard Tony hiss at the last swat and he released his hold on him. Tony jumped to his feet not looking at him. "That sucks," he said.
Gibbs went towards him and took him into his arms. "It's all over kid. Except you're still grounded and you can add another week on to it."
"But.."
"No buts Tony. I've got lots of chores for you to be doing. Keep you out of mischief. Now I think you were going to have a shower and then it's bed for you."
Tony looked as if he was going to argue but one glare from Gibbs changed his mind. "Okay." He headed for the shower.
Jackson came up to speak to Gibbs. "Didn't use it eh?" he said looking at the paddle sitting outside the door.
"No. Think we could have a fire and burn it," Gibbs said. "It really does bring back some memories I'd rather forget." Jackson laughed.
"Tony might like to hear some stories about it though," Jackson said.
"I sure would," Tony said emerging from the bathroom a towel around his head and body.
"Not tonight," Gibbs said.
"Can we work on the car tomorrow?" Tony asked hopefully.
"Yes, of course we can. You should phone Tom and see if he can join us, he works with cars."
"Great."
"Bed now, I'll be up later."
"To tuck me in," Tony said smiling.
"If you want," Gibbs said.
"Coffee?" Jackson said starting to go down the stairs.
"Yep dad."
"Ow!" they heard as Tony threw himself down on the bed. Jackson and Gibbs smiled.
"That's our boy," they said.
TBC
