Preface:
Fear. No not fear. Complete horror. That is what surrounded me now. That is what inspired me to be who I was. I have never been more afraid in my entire life except in this very moment.
It was love though. Love that drove me to fear. The two went together like puzzle pieces. I was never good at puzzles. Shit! Why hadn't I listened to her and studied more? I might actually know how to get us out of this situation.
My mind raced as I thought of what to do, how to save them. It's funny how your life can change in no time at all. It's like when I first became a werewolf. The sounds, the sights, the voices. Everything seemed magnified, clearer. This was just like that except now there were tortured screams and a horrible smell.
In that moment, I could feel them. Where were they and how was I going to get to them? I heard them cry. Damn it! I wanted to hold them. Tell them I would never close my eyes on them again. What was I going to do? When I thought I was going to lose them. When I thought life as I knew it was over.
Chapter 9: WHY'S GROWING UP GOT TO BE SO DAMN SENTIMENTAL?
The sun was actually out today. Wow! I guess the little one had been right when she said the weather would be perfect. I was surprised when Alice had seen this day. She never really saw much of me or Nessie. Which at times I was grateful for. Not that I really cared what that tiny vamp thought but I did care what Edward would hear.
Edward had never fully understood my desire for his daughter. My burning passion for her. I would have quiet one way conversations with him in my head. I started to understand his facial expressions more as the years passed.
Then when I knew it was time to tell her, he once again wanted to get in the way of the one I loved and ruin it. Sometimes, I would tell him that he owed me. Reminding him how miserable my life was before Nessie. How much I needed her. To be honest, I think he tried really hard to understand… for her. But I wasn't sure if he ever would. He had to know that my greatest concern was his daughter's happiness.
Bella had finally gotten it. It didn't take her nearly as long. I remember times I would be with her. She would laugh heartedly and say there was never a better person. I figured it would eventually happen. Her and I were always on the same page. I was grateful for her. I always had been.
Today was different though. Today was the day when Nessie would legally be all mine. Today was the day when she would go from being just my imprintee to my wife. Oh, I loved that word. And I loved her.
All the months of planning had been a little hectic. I tried to help as much as possible but picking the right plates that our food went on was not my forte. Eventually, I just took to nodding and shaking my head when needed. The little one had been a big help. Even the blonde was decent to me when all of the females were around, planning. Honestly, I felt kind of gay being around all of that wedding stuff with all of those females, but I was happy because Nessie would be.
In the end, I thought the wedding and reception were going to be awesome. Nessie had told me she wanted to get married on the beach at La Push. I hadn't even thought about that option until she said it. It seemed so perfect to marry my wife in my tribes' birth place.
The best part is that it was going to be casual. Aww, I loved Nessie. We were always on the same wavelength like she was an actual werewolf and our thoughts were together. Anyway, yeah, casual so I had on a white, formal shirt and khaki pants. And barefoot. It was going to be a good day.
I had even chopped my hair off. Well, not me. Someone who actually does it for a living because we all know I'm not a beautician. Bella had been all for it but Nessie wasn't buying it at first. She looked at me with her adorable, pale face and said I like you just the way you are. I wanted to though. I hadn't had a haircut in a while anyways. Finally, when Ness saw me after it had been done, she sized me up and said I looked hot. Yes, I did walk around a little more smugly after that. Who wouldn't when a girl who looked like that thought you were attractive?
I didn't use gel all the time and today I wanted it to look good. I stood in front of a mirror brought in by the blonde. It had been funny to see her expression when she brought it in. Her snotty little face was scrunched up like she had eaten something sour. Like she could eat. Even if she could, she would probably still refuse and look anorexic.
I examined myself once more in the mirror, trying to "mold" it correctly. My tan face staring back at me. Not bad. My short hair in a stylish spike, I guess. I don't know. I think I had gotten the idea for this look out of one of those girly magazines. You know, where all the guys in it look like they probably have a mirror glued to their hands and trim their eyebrows.
I turned to look at my bedroom. Soon, it would be my old bedroom. During the end of Nessie's last year of being homeschooled, she applied to some veterinary schools. With a recommendation like her grandfather's, she didn't have to try hard. I guess doc was well known even in the animal kingdom. All of the schools even called her, persuading Ness that they had the best damn program and blah blah.
It amazed me how the whole college system worked. I didn't think you could just get into medical school like that but the doc had explained to me that Nessie's standardized test scores were high enough to get her right in.
I guess she had all the resources she needed. A doctor to homeschool you and a brain that could absorb any information. Vampire minds were pretty cool. Nessie would tell me stuff she claimed to remember and I couldn't believe it. Actually, I couldn't remember half of it.
She had sweetly asked me where I wanted to go. It didn't really matter to me. As long as she was going to be there. About three weeks ago, she decided to stay closer to home. She was going to the University of Washington. Well, we were going.
With the Cullens paying for her tuition, I decided to buy a house. I was so proud of myself. It was kind of small. It had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. I sprung a little extra for the two bathrooms. I wanted Nessie to have her own space.
The location was great, too. It sat a few miles outside of the Seattle city limits, so Nessie would have to commute a little, but I figured we needed to break in the cars. Yes, the cars. God, they were sweet.
I wasn't sure how I felt about the Cullens buying me all of these things. I mean sure it was nice but I wanted to show Nessie that I could take care of her myself. But when they showed Nessie a shiny new BMW M3 Concept, I almost started crying. I was about ready to get inside to hear the V8 purr, but suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, there it was. The brand new, not even out on the market yet, Maclaren F1 GT. It was yellow and calling to me. I tried to hold back my tears as I hugged everyone. Yes, everyone. It was a proud moment for me.
"Whoa!" it was Rachel, my big sister who came in, snapping me back to reality. She looked me over and gave a nod of approval. Her hair was dangling down to her shoulders, meeting the straps of her light blue dress. The bulge sticking out more and more every time I saw her. Rachel's features were getting more round. Rach was in her, umm… let me think, oh yeah, second semester or trimester or something.
She actually looked cute. Paul on the other hand when he wasn't around Rachel looked down right scared. I couldn't imagine what he was going through or thinking. Being a father looked pretty tricky.
"You look great, Jake," she beamed as she straightened my collar. I smiled back at her.
"Thanks," I replied.
Someone knocked at the door. "Hey," it was Rebecca, my other sister, this time. Her little head poked in around the corner of my door. Rachel gestured her to come in. Rebecca's short lavender dress looked beautiful on her. Her forehead creased a little as she took me in.
We all three stood there. Their similar faces looking me over one more time. Even with Rachel pregnant, they both looked so tiny. But I guess everyone was tiny compared to me.
"I just wanted to say good luck," Rebecca started, "You will be great!" I hugged her little body. I put both of my arms around each of my sisters' shoulders. We were turned to the mirror.
Rachel was staring at us in it, tilting her head slightly. A little smile breaking her face. I turned to look. This image was so different from when we were kids. I had been shorter than both of them at that time. Now, I was probably about a foot and a half taller. Rachel wasn't "with child" and Rebecca didn't live so far away. I was so caught up in the moment. I thought some moisture was getting in my eyes. Be a man, I told myself.
It was Rachel who spoke. The tears glistened down her puffy brown cheeks. "Mom would have been so proud."
***
I knocked on his door.
"Come in," my father said. He was sitting on his bed, finishing getting ready. Dad looked good. So that's where I got my rugged good looks from.
He was finishing up, tying his dark blue tie.
"Hey," I said as I entered.
"Hey, son." He turned to look at me then to the corner of his room. "Will you get my wheelchair?"
I obeyed and returned to his side.
He nodded to me, trying to slide into the seat. I ended up hoisting him, shifting his body to make him sit comfortably.
"Are you ready?" he asked, situating himself more. He stared at me as I took in his question.
"I have been ready for this day for a very long time," I replied. Dad took my hand into his. I crouched down so I was at eye level with him. He took me in for a long moment, examining my face.
"People say it's harder and harder to see all of your children leave," I could tell his eyes were getting glossy. It was rare to see my dad cry. There were two times I could remember vividly, both of them over deaths – Harry's and my mom's. I cringed as I thought of the memories. I returned my eyes to his.
"You are the easiest though to let go," he started. "Not because you're a boy, although it helps. It's because I have seen you longing for Nessie for all these years and now, today, you will finally have her.
"You remind me of myself on my wedding day. I loved your mother more than anything else. She was everything to me, the most beautiful person in the world. I know it is like that for you, Jacob. Except I believe your love goes deeper. It has inhabited every cell in your body." Tears rolled down from his eyes. A big lump filled my throat as I tried to hold back mine.
"I am scared for you, because you are my son and I care for you more than my own life. I think it is natural for a father to fear. I am not afraid though that you won't make a great husband or one day, a great father. You are a leader by birth, Jacob. Everything you have ever needed is right here." He put his finger to my heart. I hugged him, not knowing what to say. My father was passionate. A quality I had always admired in him. The way he had given my sisters and I a good life. The best he could. I couldn't find words to give him. All I could do was hope someday I would be half the man he was.
