Some of you might have noticed that my format for the chapter titles keeps changing…. Yeah. It really bugs me for some reason.


9. Can we pretend that Airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a Wish right now…

Hakkai

The next day, I was up early and back to class with a brand new schedule. I started with ancient literature at seven, which lasted until nine, then there was a short break before my advanced physics class.

That morning, I wasn't especially hungry, and decided to skip breakfast, mostly because my stomach had felt tight with worry ever since yesterday, and now I was doing everything possible to ignore that.

There's only so much I can do in this situation, and worrying won't accomplish anything.

At any rate, it made eating breakfast out of the question, and so I went to the physics classroom early, thinking, if the professor was there, I'd introduce myself, and then get ahead start on reading the materials. Anything to keep from worrying about Gojyo and his ridiculous predicament.

When I entered the classroom, it was mostly empty. The boards were erased and clean, the blinds were open, letting in the fresh, morning sunlight, and there was a young woman standing at the window with her back to me.

"Excuse me, Miss." I said, stepping in, "I don't mean to intrude, but are you the professor?" Even from behind I could tell she was much too young to be the professor, but I thought I'd ask, for politeness sake.

She turned to me, and I was shocked to see emerald green eyes and a face that practically mirrored mine. She smiled, "Ah, not as such. I just happen to be here early."

I stared at her a moment, making sure what I saw was real, but I couldn't make myself speak.

She smiled a little, "You're the one they call Hakkai, aren't you?"

"Um, yes. I am. How did you know?"

"Some of my peers have told me about you." She was walking toward me, a creature of grace and beauty. A strange beacon of familiarity. I had sudden images of my mother assault my mind. "They say you've been asking about me for some time now."

"I apologize. I saw you once or twice but was never able to approach and introduce myself. I never meant to make you uncomfortable."

She laughed, "Not at all. I apologize for not making time to introduce myself to you, Hakkai-san."

"Yes, well, I'm sure you're quite busy."

"Not too busy." She offered me her hand suddenly, "I'm Kanan by the way."

"Kanan…" That name was resounding through my brain as well. I remembered how I'd screamed it the day they took her away from me, and it made me feel dizzy. Scarcely able to believe what was happening, I took her hand, carefully, afraid she'd vanish if I touched her, lifted it to my lips without thinking about it, "It's a pleasure."

Kanan laughed again, only softer this time, "You certainly act grown up for your age, Hakkai-san."

"Ah. I get that a lot. Have you been at Cheng long, Miss Kanan?"

"Several years. I'll be graduating soon."

"And you have advanced physics this morning?"

"Oh, no. I'm close with the professor. I'm waiting here because I have a few things I'd like to discuss with him."

I tried to hide my disappointment. It would have been nice to find out I had a class with her, but then, perhaps I should just feel fortunate to have run into her at all, seeing how I'd been looking for her so long, without much success. How strange though—I'd all but given up on ever meeting her, and I'd been so busy looking for Gojyo lately, I hadn't spent much time in pursuit of my green-eyed girl.

Many things were that way though. Resign on the task of searching for some item, and it appears before your eyes.

"I see. Well, perhaps you'd like to go and get coffee some time. Or lunch, if that suits you better."

She smiled again, and something about that smile was erasing all my doubts, filling me with a kind of warmth I'd never felt before in my cold, lonely life. It had me smiling back easily, much more easily than I'd ever smiled before. I was sure my classmates would be devastated by shock if they saw it.

"I'd like that very much, Hakkai-san. Coffee in An Jin, perhaps."

"All right. Do you go to An Jin often?"

Kanan shrugged carelessly, "As often as I feel like, though I haven't been there recently. My professors have been hounding me about going there too much."

"I know just what you mean."

"Yes. I think I've seen you there several times."

"Oh? Is that so? It's a wonder I never saw you."

Kanan smiled politely, "I would have said something to you, but you always seemed quite occupied with another boy. That red-headed one."

"Ah, of course."

"You certainly have an interesting taste in friends." She said, and at first, I thought she might be sneering, but there was a mellowness to her voice, a sort of kindness, completely devoid of judgment. "To think, he might have gotten us together that day at the cafe, if you hadn't left."

I was startled by how perceptive and intelligent she was—not that I had expected her to be unintelligent by any means—and I was impressed. Naturally though, it would have been hard to walk into that café and not notice Gojyo's flaming, red hair and noisy demeanor immediately. She must have seen me with him, and perhaps, later, learned who I was.

"Yes, that is something." I murmured.

"Why did you leave, Hakkai-san? At the moment I'm under the impression that you've been wanting to meet with me for some time now."

"I can't say for sure. I suppose I was nervous. And I didn't want to bother you." I added as an afterthought, "I'm sorry if he did."

"Oh, it's all in the past now, isn't it? I passed my exam regardless, so it hardly matters."

I studied her intently as she spoke, noting the brightness of her eyes and the perpetual smile on her lips. As akin to me as she'd seemed from a distance, up close, I suddenly felt that I was nothing like her. She didn't appear to have the same contempt in her heart, or the bitterness in her eyes, and she seemed so content to smile. It was as if she embodied the parts of me that had died somewhere along my path through childhood, as if I were the black cast of her shadow.

My other half…

"I still felt bad for it. He never listens to me, you know."

"No, he didn't seem very interested in listening to me either. At any rate, Hakkai-san, I see Professor Xin coming, so I'll say goodbye now. It was good to meet you at last."

"I'm honored."

"We'll go for coffee soon." She touched my arm, briefly, walked past me, still smiling.

At once, I felt the coldness creeping in again, called after her, "How will I find you?"

But her voice was charming and serene and it made me feel warm again. "Meet me at four in the same café, this Wednesday. Will that work for you?"

"Yes." I said eagerly. "I'll make it work."

And then, with another angelic smile, she was gone, greeting Professor Xin, and I was left in a daze.

That fog of happiness and contentment followed me through the rest of the morning and into my advanced physics class. I was so distracted by it, I completely forgot to introduce myself to the professor, and I didn't get ahead on any of the required reading, I didn't worry about Gojyo or finding the dagger, and in fact, I barely heard the class's introductory lecture.

It wasn't until my class was over half-way through that I was suddenly jerked back into reality, when an office assistant came in and announced that I was to report to the main office, at once.

Only then was a sullen mood cast over my outlook. I had never been called to the office before, and I couldn't imagine what they might want, especially since it was, apparently, urgent enough to call me away from class. Could it be another uncomfortable meeting with the dean, or was it something even worse? It could be nothing at all.

I frowned all my way there, and I was feeling rather nervous when I arrived.

Gojyo met me at the door, "There you are."

"Here I am." I agreed, bewildered. "What are you doing here? Did you already forget you're not supposed to be here?"

"Stow the lectures, Mom. I've been trying to find you all fuckin' morning, and I'm not in the mood for this attitude."

He certainly didn't look like he was in the mood, I thought. He wasn't grinning for once, and there was something dark in his eyes, something frantic in his mannerisms.

"So, wanna' step outside a sec so I can talk to you?" He was already pulling me toward the building's exit, not waiting for an answer.

"Am I to understand that you had me called down from class?"

"It was the only thing I could think of: you weren't in your dorm. I've been hanging around this stuffy place for hours."

"You've been here for hours?" I demanded, mildly horrified.

"Looking for you."

"Gojyo." I moaned, rubbing my face. We were outside now, in the fresh air and the sunshine, but I suddenly felt like I was getting a headache. "You can't do this. Don't you understand? I-"

"I don't have time to sneak around on eggshells and try not to piss everyone off, Hakkai. I had to talk to you, and I couldn't wait until you decided to come see me."

"Then, I take it you figured out where the dagger is."

"Damn straight. It's on Mt. He-Ping, in a cave—had to ask the damn book about it and everything."

At that news, I felt a wave of relief. This whole, stressful thing could be over soon, "I'm glad to hear that. When are you available to go and get it? I have class for the next couple of days, and I have something important to see to on Wednesday, but perhaps this weekend we could-"

"Right now."

I blinked at his terse, non-negotiable tone. "I'm sorry?"

"I have to go right now."

"This very second?"

"You got it. I packed up the shit we need and left it on the other side of the wall. I wanted to get started earlier, but I couldn't find you."

He sounded so unyielding, I had to take a moment to compose my thoughts, just so I wouldn't stammer through them, "I'm afraid I can't go right this second, Gojyo. I'm in the middle of a class."

His expression didn't change with realization, like I wanted it to. Rather, he looked as if he already knew that and couldn't be bothered with caring. I waited for him to say, 'my bad, dude, we'll go this weekend', but it didn't come. Instead, he blew a sharp stream of smoke into the sky, like he was trying very hard to keep his composure.

His voice was rocky when he spoke, "Well. I have to go today, whether you come with me or not."

"But climbing Mt. He-Ping and coming all the way back? That will take two days, Gojyo. Am I supposed to miss all my classes between now and then? This is the first week of my new term—I can't be missing class. I shouldn't even be out of class now."

"Then I'm going by myself."

"Wait a moment. I don't want you doing that."

His eyes grew hard suddenly, a subtle anger taking over his features, extremely uncharacteristic of him, "I can't wait for you, Hakkai. I can't wait for the weekend. I have to get this done. Now. If you don't want to come-"

"I can't come, Gojyo."

"If you can't come, then stay here, but I'm leaving."

He turned to walk away, but I grabbed his arm, "Please. Just let me think. You can't expect to show up here and have me make a decision at the drop of a hat."

"I've already wasted four hours trying to find you, I can't waste anymore time waiting around for you to make up your mind."

"I'm sorry for that. I really am. I…" I thought I should have been frustrated or angry with him for the way he was acting, but this demanding, selfish behavior was very atypical of him, and I could only guess at what it meant.

"God, Hakkai." He palmed his face suddenly, dragging both hands up over his forehead and through his hair, "I don't have time to fuck with this, do you get that? If you're not coming, fine, but I have to go."

What was I supposed to do? Let him go off and possibly get killed? I'd already seen that retrieving these items usually required both of us. If he went alone, he might not be able to succeed. His failure might become my pain.

No, I'd already seen too much pain. He'd already seen too much pain. Not just in this endeavor, but in all our lives.

So what if I did miss class today and tomorrow? It was only the first week—I'd be able to live without the fundamental lectures. I could learn it on my own if I really had to.

I couldn't forgive myself if something happened to Gojyo, and I wasn't willing to take the risk that he might actually be able to do this on his own.

"Let me get my coat from my dorm." I sighed.

This didn't feel right. Somehow, in a way I couldn't exactly put my finger on, it felt…wrong. I suppose, like when we'd retrieved the ring, it just didn't have the same carefree, 'let's do this today' sort of air to it that the others had, and I recognized that these little errands we were making seemed to be growing more and more sinister. Gojyo seemed to be completely focused, on task, and in a hurry. He'd brought a large backpack of supplies, which I could only hope was well-equipped, not stuffed with booze and cigarettes and dirty magazines and playing cards.

Never the less, as soon as we'd picked the pack up from where he'd deposited it in a large shrub, on the outer wall of the school, we were off, heading due north-east. For a while, we walked along a small, dirt road that shot straight out through the countryside, but today there were no games of tag or I-Spy, and even the jokes and the teasing were few and far between, and I felt like we made most of our journey in silence. I tried to think of something to say, something that might lighten the mood even, but nothing occurred to me, and all I could think of was how I would be missing class today and tomorrow, and if something went wrong, I might even miss my meeting with Kanan, in which case, I would be seriously angry, having looked for her for so long and finally obtaining a casual audience with her.

Gojyo may or may not have been aware of how serious what I was giving up to go with him was, but he didn't let on one way or another.

The trip took all day, as I had expected it to. Eventually, we had to leave the road behind, and then we were just walking straight toward the mountains, and as we went, the hills became steeper and steeper. By three, we were hiking up the mountain, the peak of He-Ping towering above us. There were scattered patches of snow on the ground, but it wasn't terribly cold. Still, I wished we were a bit better prepared. I would have liked to have the comfort of knowing I had packed my own supplies, or at least of knowing what he had packed. Questions kept ringing through my head, like 'is there enough food for both of us?' and 'will we be able to keep warm tonight?'

When we'd been going a while, he looked over his shoulder at me, asking, "Thirsty?"

"Oh. Yes, as a mater of fact, I am."

Then he passed me a steel canteen that was somewhat rusted and grimy, without a word, and I took a tentative sip, relieved to find that it contained somewhat metallic-tasting water. At least it wasn't alcohol.

Not long after that, we took a break beside a small, mountain stream that wasn't completely frozen over, and after inspecting the water, I decided it would be safe to refill the canteen there. We sat down on a boulder, and Gojyo dug out the food. It was meager—just some sandwiches he'd apparently thrown together in a hurry, a few granola bars, and some canned fruit.

"Sorry it ain't gourmet." He said, a little gruffly.

"Not at all. I'm impressed you had the presence of mind to bring food in the first place."

It was meant to be a joke, but he didn't laugh, and an awkward silence ensued, and prevailed, until we'd finished eating. He got up, slinging the heavy pack over his shoulder again, "Guess we should move."

"If you want, I can carry that for a while."

"Nah, it's okay. It isn't that heavy."

"You seem to be doing well enough for a chain smoker backpacking through the mountains."

"Hell. I don't got much choice."

I felt as if the statement had dual meanings, dared to comment, "You seem stressed today."

"No. I'm just in a hurry."

It came as no surprise that he wasn't going to be honest with me about what was going on behind the scenes, so we hiked on in silence.

I wondered, in passing, if he might be angry with me for some reason, but that seemed absurd. What could I have possibly done to upset him?

Regardless, the thought haunted me for the rest of the day, as we climbed higher and higher, going around and over huge boulders, climbing sheer faces of rock walls, and as the terrain became more and more difficult, I felt more and more uneasy, and for whatever reason, all the more insecure.

Around the time the sun was beginning to set, I decided to question him, "Excuse me, ah, I don't mean to pry…but are you…upset with me?"

Gojyo was busily pulling himself up onto a pile of boulders that was blocking our path, looked over his shoulder at me with wide eyes, cigarette nearly falling out of his mouth as he demanded, "What?"

"You seem angry."

"No. I'm not upset with you, Hakkai. Are you crazy? What would I have to be upset with you about?"

It should have satisfied me. It was a simple answer, albeit, but it did answer my question, but I still watched him, feeling foolish and unsure of myself, as he groped around for his next hand-hold, continuing to climb.

When I didn't say anything, he went on, "Man, are you kidding me? You're…the only person who's helped me out at all with this whole mess. How could I be pissed at you?"

That was a bit more reassuring, and I started climbing up after him, "I suppose. What about Tai?"

"Tai's…I mean, it's not like she hasn't helped me, I guess, but she really wants me to leave town—she doesn't really want to help me with Dasha's work."

"I don't care about Dasha." I told him automatically, "I don't want you falling off the face of the mountain and splattering on the jagged rocks below."

"See, that's exactly what I mean."

"Pardon?"

"Nothin'. Never mind."

When a little more silence had gone between us, I added, "I also want you to get out of town though."

He didn't answer, and we went back to being completely silent.

When we reached the top of the cliff, there was a clearing there I thought would make as good a place as any for camping, and suggested we get a fire started. Fortunately, with my knowledge of such things, and Gojyo's lighter, that proved easier than I expected, and by the time the sun disappeared, we were huddled side by side around a good-sized fire.

Gojyo produced a beer from the pack—I suppose I'd be naïve to think he hadn't brought any at all—offered it to me, "Want one? I only got a few…"

"Oh, well then I can't accept." I smiled.

Shrugging, he cracked it open.

We ate some more of the food he'd brought—jerky and canned hash this time—but it wasn't nearly enough, and we were both done in a matter of a few minutes. After that, we sat, and I looked up at the stars.

Half an hour had passed before he asked me, "Where do you expect me to go, Hakkai?"

"Excuse me?"

He was scratching at the dirt with a small, sharp stick, "You and Tai both want me to get outta' Jin so bad, but have either of you thought about where the fuck I'd go or how I'd get there?"

I stared into the fire, considered that a while, and he waited for me to answer, which made me think he actually wanted to know, and wasn't necessarily sneering at me. "I…guess I don't really know. Mr. Wu said you came from somewhere north of here."

"Yeah, but I can't go back there. I'm not interested in going back."

It would be stupid to ask if he had family anywhere, but I felt that I should cover that anyway, just in case, "Isn't there anyone…somewhere…don't you have an uncle or something some place?"

Gojyo gave me a narrow-eyed look, "You got an uncle or something somewhere, Hakkai?"

"No…"

"If I had family, don't you think I'd be with them?"

"What about your brother? Don't you think you might be able to find him?"

To that, Gojyo just shook his head, and I didn't know if that meant his brother was dead, or if he just didn't think he could find him. I didn't think I should ask.

"I must admit, I have no idea where you should go…but I don't think that means you should condemn yourself to staying in An Jin, with that man, indefinitely."

"I guess I could just head south, just go for the sake of going, but that takes money—you know, rent, food, supplies, everything-I've done it before, and it's hard. I mean, I'm not saying it's too hard, I could do it if I had to, but I definitely prefer having a permanent address to being a wandering, little punk."

"Of course."

"I'm not scared or anything, it's just I'd rather not. I'd rather have a place to go to, if I can help it-"

I rested my hand on his arm, "Gojyo. You don't have to explain it to me; it goes without saying that uprooting now and going off by yourself would be a daunting task. I just agree with Tai in the idea that staying in An Jin is not a very good idea. Even moving a few miles to Cheng would be better."

He finally looked at me, "Is that what you want me to do?"

"Not necessarily. It would be better though."

Gojyo smoked in silence for the next minute or two. "Whatever I do, I hafta' get this stupid dagger first."

"That's true at least."

"By the way…I just wanted to tell ya', I really appreciate this. It sucks you gotta' miss class and everything, but I'm glad you came."

I sat in the satisfaction of knowing he recognized that and was grateful for it, smiled more to myself than to him, "You know I wouldn't make you do this by yourself."

He was quiet a few minutes before mumbling, "Yeah… Why are you like that anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"Nobody else gives a shit if I wander off the side of a cliff looking for this thing—not that I expect them to—so what's with you? You're really different to me, you know…"

Tai had said the same thing when I met her. It made me a bit nervous to consider how other people must treat him.

"I keep thinking about the way we met, and I get why you stepped in that day, but I dunno' about the rest. Lunch, and everything… Why did you do that?"

I turned to him, a little surprised. "I'm not sure. I wanted to, that's all. I can't exactly explain why—it's not really like me to invite random strangers to lunch."

"I know right." He grinned a little, but it was short-lived, and then he stared out into the darkness a while, "But… it isn't just that. You put up with so much shit from me, and you let me act however I wanna' act, and you don't seem to care what I'm like…"

I knew he wasn't necessarily talking about his personality or the way he behaved, although it was often fairy frustrating on its own.

"I don't get why. No matter what stupid thing I do, you never just walk out on me—you and Tai are the only ones who act like you give a shit what happens to me…and I don't get it."

That concept was unbelievably sad to me, and I watched him a long while, sort of wishing he'd take it back, or laugh it off suddenly, but he didn't do either, and I knew he actually thought those things. They actually bewildered him as much as he said they did, and it was startling to me just how much that bothered me. To think that he really couldn't comprehend the idea of people liking him just for the way he was… I found it somewhat heartbreaking.

"Now, now. Don't be ridiculous." I said seriously, went so far as to touch his arm, "We're friends."

"It's really that simple?" He sounded a bit disbelieving.

"Yes, it's really that simple, Gojyo. Whatever else you might think you are—whatever else you might be—first and foremost in my mind, you're my friend."

He didn't reply, but I saw the quiet, half-smile on his lips and knew the answer was good enough.

"Um, when you asked me if I was mad today…I didn't really know what to say. I sorta' thought you might be mad at me for dragging you out of school and whatever."

"No, of course not. Believe me, it's terribly inconvenient, but it's the way it is, I suppose. We'll find the dagger tomorrow, and I'll be back in Cheng in no time."

He nodded, and the conversation seemed to be over. After a handful of minutes, Gojyo produced a worn-looking pack of playing cards, flashed it at me, "You play cards?"

"Occasionally."

"Poker?"

I smiled, "It's been a while."

That was all he needed to hear, and he began to deal out for five-card stud, and for a moment, I wondered if I should warn him, but what would be the fun in that?

I won the first hand, and Gojyo told me it was just dumb luck. When I won the second, he said it was a fluke. When I won the third, he said he was just having a bad day. After I'd won more than half a dozen hands in a row, he admitted that I was pretty good at poker. By the tenth or eleventh hand, he was exhibiting a little irritation, snorting and puffing harshly on his cigarette, frowning and glaring at his own hand, as if he could make better cards appear. He slapped down a full house with an air of triumph…and I casually laid out my royal flush. After that, he tried to bluff me into folding, but I was looking at another flush, aces high, and I sincerely doubted he was going to beat me. When I won that hand as well, Gojyo switched to a different card game. He switched games several more times before demanding, "What the fuck? You some kinda' sharpie? Don't you ever lose?"

"I apologize. I've been led to believe I'm rather good at this."

"Good? No, Hakkai. I'm good at this. You're like a professional."

"Do you really think so? I'm flattered. Ah. It seems I have the ace of spades…again."

He tossed his cards aside and lit another cigarette, "Whatever. I give up. Hey, you ever play for money?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

Gojyo grinned, ferociously almost, "You and me should play cards in Jin some time—we'd clean up."

"Mm, well it would depend on where. I've been known to make my opponents rather angry, and I don't want to get knifed over a handful of yen."

"Yeah, yeah, somewhere safe, I swear. Play a few times, and you'll own the whole place."

"Considering the circumstances, I almost wish that could actually happen."

The smile faded, and he flopped back on the ground heavily, huffing, "Yeah. Well, who wants to own An Jin anyway? That place's such a shithole."

"You always talk as if you really hate it." I said, carefully.

"Hate's…not the right word, I guess. I don't like it, yeah, but it's where I live. If I put a lot of energy into hating it, I think I'd be miserable."

In a way, that made some sense. I reflected on the fact that he didn't seem to be miserable now, even when it appeared that his life was in considerable danger. "You're good at making the most of your circumstances."

"I gotta' be."

I suspected that was nothing less than the truth.

After a moment, I laid back as well, staring up at the beautiful stars, feeling the frosty air around me and the cold ground beneath me. We were so far from the lights of the city, the stars could be viewed clearly, and they made me feel both peaceful and regretful.

"Not everybody's like that." I mused.

"That's 'cause everybody else has it figured out." He laughed.

"Not everybody, I assure you. I would be startled to find out that there's anyone out there who has their entire life figured out."

"You don't think there's somebody who was born just knowing what they should do and how to get it done?"

"It seems highly unlikely. Not knowing is…simply part of life." Even as I spoke the words, I felt somewhat hypocritical. My path had certainly never been clear, and I had never come to terms with my own circumstances. These days, I was banking all my happiness on starting anew with Kanan.

"I wonder what it woulda' been like, you know, if I'd been born a different way. Like to some rich bastard, like old man Wu. That guy's got the whole world at his finger tips. I always wonder what that would feel like. Going anywhere, doing anything."

"That certainly explains your contempt for the upper class." I mused.

"Those people got everything, Hakkai. There's nothing they can't buy. I can't even imagine what that would be like."

"That may be true, but there are plenty of things about life that those people will never understand. I expect they'll never know true independence or courage."

He glanced at me.

"Besides, you might have noticed, there are many people who are little better than pond scum, not because of how high they sit in society, but because they're sick and unfeeling who think only of themselves and their selfish desires. I think that those who go so far as to step on the heads of the people around them in order to satisfy such desires are truly the lowest of the low.

"What's important in the end isn't necessarily where you come from." I thought of what Professor Hyoka had told me about being an orphan, and smiled bitterly, "The important thing is to do whatever's in your power to better yourself, and to live in a way that makes you happy."

He was silent a while, and when he answered, his voice rang with a vague hint of veneration, making me remember what Tai had said, about him looking up to me. "You always seem like you understand everything…"

"It's mostly guesswork." I turned to study his face and added, somberly, "There may only ever be a mere handful of people who can look at you without their prejudices and judgments, but they aren't the ones who matter, are they?"

Gojyo hesitated, and then nodded slowly.

Briefly, I clenched his wrist. "In the end though, I don't think anyone's opinion should matter more than your own."

Vaguely, he smirked at me. "Yeah. You're right. Anyway, let's cut the shit and sleep. We gotta' make up for lost time tomorrow."

"I agree. Er, I don't suppose you brought any sleeping bags?"

"A couple blankets were the best I could do." Sitting up again, he pulled them out and handed one to me. It smelled a little like moth balls, and it was rather dusty, but aside from that, it was clean and in good condition. I saw that the other was a bit more tattered and threadbare, jerked it away from him at once, shoving the first back at him.

Gojyo frowned at me, "Oy."

"I had the sense to wear a coat." I explained, wrapping myself in the worn, little excuse for a blanket, "So of course, I'm to be punished by using this pathetic rag to keep warm tonight."

"I already told you: I don't have a coat."

"Might you consider getting one soon? I'm a bit tired of having to be inconvenienced by the fact. And, also, not having a coat doesn't make you any less idiotic for not finding one to wear when you knew you'd be hiking through the mountains in the winter." I settled down, pulling the blanket tight around my neck, closed my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. You're such a nag."

"I wouldn't worry about it too much—I'm likely to freeze to death during the night."

"It's all good. I'll drag your ass back from hell."

"Yes, please do."

He laid down next to me again.

I closed my eyes, and we were silent a while, endeavoring to go to sleep. When a moment or two had passed, Gojyo hissed, "Check out the shooting star, dude."

I opened my eyes, but the sky was still, and nothing stirred but my white breath in the air. "Hm. I always seem to miss those. Perhaps I ought to spend less time with my eyes shut."

He sat up one last time, head craned to stare straight up at the sky.

"What are you doing?"

It took him a moment to answer. "Mm. Nothin'."

"You're not making a wish, are you?" I teased.

"…No. That's stupid."

"I suppose it rather depends on what you wish for."

With a vague snort, he settled down next to me again, a bit closer this time, with his forehead resting against my shoulder. "It's still stupid. 'Night, 'Kai."

I scanned the sky again, already knowing what I would ask for, but nothing moved.