Sirius thought he could lay like this forever, in Remus's arms, with no concern for the outside world or the rest of the people in it. As he lay there, he forgot about Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters; he forgot about his family and his maniacal brother who was surely on his way to being one of Voldemort's most loyal followers; he forgot about James and Peter and Hogwarts and classes and everything. He just let Remus's smell and the feeling of his fingers running up and down his arm take over his thoughts and his senses.
Holding Sirius in his arms, Remus was lost as well. He forgot about the wizarding world that was falling apart; he forgot about the problems he'd had with Sirius over the last few weeks; he forgot about his lycanthropy, the condition that was the cause of almost all Remus's problems—a condition that would never go away. But Remus was not thinking about this. He was not thinking about anything but the smell of Sirius's hair and the squareness of Sirius's jaw line that Remus could not get enough of.
After many minutes of being lost in each other, Remus was the first to speak.
"I love you, too," was all he said.
"A bit late for that, don't you think?" Sirius said, but he was smiling the most loving smile, and he thought his heart might cave in from the love he felt for Remus.
"It's never too late," Remus said, smiling as well.
Sirius took the hand that was lying on Remus's stomach and he traced the scars on Remus's chest and stomach. Remus tried to move Sirius's hand away gently, always embarrassed of the marks his transformations left behind.
"I love your scars," Sirius said as he attempted to avoid Remus's hand pushing his own hand away.
"No, you don't," Remus said.
"Yes, I really do," Sirius said gently. "I love them because... they show me just how strong you are." Remus sighed and Sirius continued. "Your scars were what made me fall in love with you."
"How?" Remus asked, finally dropping his hand down by his side and allowing Sirius to continue his tracing in peace and enjoying how Sirius's touch seemed to light his skin on fire.
"That night," Sirius said. He was talking very quietly and Remus had to strain his ears to hear him. "The night of your transformation, you know, the night before everything happened in the hospital wing," he paused for a moment as if he was thinking back. "That was the night I fell in love with you… Seeing you like that, exposed and vulnerable, I wanted to protect you. I wanted to be there for you. Always."
The last word Sirius said was barely above a whisper, but Remus heard it loud and clear. Remus had loved Sirius for years, but it was that night in the hospital wing that Remus had realized there might be something more between himself and his best friend. Sirius continued to trace, and Remus spoke.
"Do you want to know when I fell in love with you?" Remus asked. Sirius nodded. "It was fifth year—"
"Fifth year?" Sirius lifted his head up and looked at Remus. He looked shocked. "You waited all this time—"
"Yes, fifth year," Remus said, continuing on with his story. "It was fifth year and I had just come in from my first prefect duty of the year. You had waited up for me to tell me a story about something you and James had done to Snape. You'd made me tea and when I came into the common room and saw you in front of the fireplace drinking your tea and reading while you waited for me… That was when I knew I loved you. You always wanted to talk to me, especially me, and I loved you for that," Remus sighed. "Of course," he added, "I began to question my love for you later that year after what you did to Snape—"
"You know I feel bad about that, Rem," Sirius said.
"Of course I know," Remus said. "But you and James still hate him so much... I know why… For James, it's Lily, but for you… You hate him because he reminds you of your family. All that pureblood nonsense. You hate that and you hate Snape because he subscribes to it, too."
Sirius did not say anything, but instead he placed a soft kiss on Remus's neck. More than anything, Sirius loved knowing that there was somebody out there who understood him above all other people. Sirius had never had this before. Sure, he'd had relationships with many girls, but nothing that ever felt like this. Remus made Sirius feel safe and happy but also scared and vulnerable. He could imagine a future with Remus—a future where he was safe from everything around him knowing that Remus would always be with him. Sirius made Remus feel secure about himself and about the world around him. Remus always felt like second best, except now being with Sirius, knowing that he loved someone and was loved deeply in return. After another long time in silence, Sirius said something that caught Remus off guard.
"Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?" Sirius asked.
"We always go to Hogsmeade together," Remus said, although he knew full well what Sirius was trying to say.
Sirius smiled and chuckled. "Yes, that we do, but I mean do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me? We could spend the day together, just you and me, talking and… well, I was going to say getting to know each other, but since we're best friends, I already know everything about you."
Remus laughed and said, "I would love to go with you. I'm sure we'll find something to talk about." Sirius smiled and moved in closer to Remus, resting his head and feeling himself drift off. "I almost gave up on you... on me and you." Sirius looked over at Remus who was looking off in the distance. "I'm glad I didn't." Sirius's breath caught and he thought for a moment that he may give in fully to the emotion he was feeling, but instead, he wrapped his arms around Remus and fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.
The next few days passed like a dream for Remus and Sirius. They simply could not get enough of each other. Remus was due for a transformation the following week, but for now, neither was concerned about anything except being with the other. Sirius spent hours in the library, a place he rarely frequented, just so that he could spend all of his spare time with Remus. Now that the two had admitted their feelings for one another, there was no pressure and no awkwardness. They could just be in each other's presence without a care in the world. They did, however, try to keep their PDA to a minimum, not wanting the whole school gossiping about them in their last few months at Hogwarts, although there were many people who knew about the pair.
Very often, while walking through the corridors together, Sirius would pull Remus into an empty classroom and kiss Remus until Remus's lips were red and swollen. At night, before Peter and James came up to bed, Remus would lay in Sirius's bed—or perhaps the other way around—and they would simply hold each other for as long as they could without saying much of anything. They did not do these things in secret because they were ashamed of each other or because they were hiding, but both enjoyed the privacy of their love. James and Peter both knew about Remus and Sirius, but Remus and Sirius enjoyed the fact that no one knew just how much they loved each other besides them. They preferred to keep intruders away from their love.
That weekend, the weekend of the Hogsmeade visit, Sirius woke up with a spring in his step. James, Lily, and Remus all had prefect and head boy/girl duty, but James and Lily planned on sneaking off somewhere private, and Remus planned to do the same and sneak off to find Sirius.
While Sirius was brushing his teeth in the bathroom, Remus came up behind him and put his arms around Sirius's waist.
"Are you excited for today?" Remus asked before placing a gentle kiss on Sirius's neck.
Sirius bent over and spit the paste from his mouth and said, "More than you know."
A few hours later, Sirius was walking up to the entrance of Hogsmeade with the rest of the of-age Hogwarts students. When he walked past the post that Remus was manning, he winked at his dear and kept on walking, noticing Remus's blush and smiling.
Sirius went into the Three Broomsticks and found a corner table that was somewhat hidden from the rest of the tavern. He ordered two butterbeers and sipped on his while he waited patiently for Remus to join him.
After a fairly long while, Remus came sneakily into the Three Broomsticks and quickly spotted Sirius in the corner, making a beeline for him and accompanying him at the table.
"Took you long enough," Sirius said, bringing his butterbeer to his lips. Remus smiled and took a drink of the butterbeer Sirius had gotten him.
"Well, I could lose my badge for this," he said. "I have to be careful."
"Would losing your badge really be the worst thing?" Sirius asked. He had always poked fun at Remus for being a prefect.
"Oh, you're such a laugh," Remus said. "After what the Prophet said yesterday, Dumbledore wanted to make sure security was extra tight."
"Let's not talk about that," Sirius said. He reached out his hand palm up on the table, and Remus obliged, putting his hand in Sirius's. "I love you," Sirius said.
"I'll never get tired of hearing you say that," Remus sighed and closed his eyes.
"Well, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I'll say it so much that you'll beg me to stop," Sirius said. "That won't be all you're begging for," he added.
Remus nearly choked on his butterbeer.
