Chapter9: I'll be there
Dan was in his junior year of college when his first love became his stepsister. He never went to the wedding. It was just something he couldn't bring himself to do. He could not playthe happy son as he watched his father tie himself to the woman he had chosen over him. Some might think he was crazy to think of it in those terms, but to Dan his father had chosen his future bride over him. So, with that simple act of self-indulgence on Rufus's part, his days as the dutiful son had come to an end. Jenny had accused of him of being selfish and petulant, but there was so much she didn't understand. On the eve of his graduation, Rufus had become Lily's fifth ex-husband, but things between father and son would never be the same. In six years, Dan had seen his father a sum total of 6 times. Six Christmas's nothing more. So, the unexpected phone call he had come home to on a Sunday evening shook him a little. He thought he sensed a trace of tears in his strangled voice.
"Dan, I know you don't want to talk, but please call me back. You're my son. We're blood this, this is ridiculous."
Dan pressed the delete button and kicked off his shoes attempting no to think about the pain he heard in his fathers voice.
Who is this embittered man? This is not the Dan that I know
Serena's words rung in his ears. It was a shrill sound he couldn't block from his mind. A part of him knew that she was right. Something in him had changed; hardened. But, could speaking to his father really change that. Earlier he had simply held her as they watched a movie and pretended to be friends, but a whole lot more. If time is what Serena wanted, time is what he would give her. Dan stared at his phone and picked it up.
"He called?"
"Who called?"Serena asked.
"My father."
"I'm a little confused. Why is that such a big deal?"she inquired.
Dan cleared his throat and said, "Because we haven't really spoken since last Christmas. In fact it's the only time we do speak."
Serena was completely taken aback. One of the things she appreciated about Dan was the bond he had with his family. When had things gone so wrong with Dan and his father.
"I'm sorry Dan."
"I'm not sure if I should call him back."
"Call him Dan. You want to. That's why you called me. Its obviously something you want to do and we can talk about it later, "she said before hanging up. He met his father at the gallery. He took a seat in the small café where he'd worked many a weekend. The place was the same yet the last time he'd been here was on the eve of his twentieth birthday. He wrung his hands as he waited for his father to walk through the doors. A young woman was manning the cash and looking over at him anxiously. He remembered the nerves and awkwardness that was his signature as a teen and a small part of his heart went out to this girl. The sound of the bell dragged him from his thoughts. His father stood before him looking a little aged, but still retaining his youthful vigor. His hair was no speckled with grey and he'd gain a bit of weight mostly in his face. "You came, "he said as he smiled brightly.
"Yes, but don't get your hopes up dad, "Dan warned him.
"I don't understand this. Can't we just go back."
Dan grimaced at his father and said, "go back to what? You made your choice. You picked a woman over your own kid. Too bad she wasn't worth it. I don't know why I'm even here. This was a mistake."
"Why did you come?"
Dan looked at his father sadly, "Because I missed you Dad. But, you obviously don't get it. You didn't get it then and you don't get it now."
He got up to leave and Rufus grabbed him by the shoulders. "I get it Dan. I just can't take it back. I wish I could. But, you're my son and I'm sorry that I made you feel less important. I just want to start over, "he pleaded. Dan looked at Rufus as if he was appraising him. He didn't know whether he should take him at his word, but he knew he owed it to himself. "Let's start with a coffee, but I'm not making any promises dad."
One Week Later
Dan and Serena were walking through the park together. He was rehashing his last meeting with his father. It felt good to have someone who really understood where he was coming from. He didn't need to explain why things were so weird between his father and himself because she was there. She had lived through it too. There was simplicity to being with Serena that he'd nearly forgotten about. He wrapped an arm around her and held her close to him.
"You're the greatest,"he said matterfactly.
"I try. Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm getting there. Thanks for letting me vent. I bet you're hungry how about some breakfast?"he said.
"Sure. I'm starving,"she said with a bright smile on her face. They'd been spending a lot of time together in the past week. When they weren't talking on the phone, Dan was coming over with a pizza in hand. He'd had a couple of uncomfortable run-ins with Casey who simply sat in her living room puffing up his chest and pouting. He was acting like a jealous boyfriend who had been replaced by someone new. But, Serena knew he wasn't used to playing second-best to Dan. For the longest time, Casey was the only man in her life, but before him there had always been Dan. At one point in her life he had been everything to her. She loved where they were, but there were moments when all she wanted to do was to push him up against a wall and kiss him senselessly.
They made their way to a small café where they each ordered enough to feed a small army. Dan smiled when he noticed that some things never changed like Serena's appetite. They ate in comfortable silence and Dan kept stealing glances at her the entire time. The streak in her blonde hair was beginning to fade and her hair was beginning to grow out. She held it back in a sleek ponytail. They'd spent the morning talking amicably each of them avoiding the obvious, but he was damned if he was going to be the first to bring it up.
"Mmm the food here is so good,"Serena said in between bites. She took a chunk of her omlette and fed it to him. There eyes connected and then they abruptly looked away. Serena instantly sensed the look of hunger on his face and she knew he wasn't thinking about the eggs she had just fed him. The electricity between them was palpable. They were both playing at a game whose resolution was obvious.
"What do you mean you just got married?"Serena asked as she starred at the rock on Blair's finger.
"I got married. It wasn't planned. Anyways I haven't decided whether to get the whole thing annulled or not.
"Wait you wanna get a divorce? Blair have you gone off the deep-end? This is so unlike you,"Serena pondered.
Blair shrugged and said, "maybe I need to not be myself for awhile."
"But, marriage. That's so serious."
"I know its crazy, but I like the way Carter makes me feel."
"You like feeling completely out of control and on edge?"Serena inquired.
"Yes, yes I do. I'm so sick of having to worry about every little thing S. He makes me feel like being me can be fun"
"I'm happy for you B. I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into. Now, let me get a look at the rock again."
Serena hugged her tightly. Blair was the one constant in her life. Things had not always run smoothly and at times they had a habit of doing the cruelest of things to each other, but at the end of the day they were there for each other. "So, tell me why you look so sad. Is it Humphrey again?"
"You know me so well."
"Should I dig up my Constance uniform because this feels so 2009."
"Ha ha, its not that bad. I guess I never realized how much we changed. He's not the Dan I knew. He's I don't know melancholy."
"Listen S, you know I love you. But, I've seen him around for years and he hasn't been happy for a long long time. Losing you did something to him. I might not know him very well, but even I could sense that."
"I know its just that."
"He's a male slut Serena, we all know that there's only been one person for him. Its not like you've been living the life of a nun either."
"I guess so. He wants to get back together,"Serena stated matterfactly.
"well, well. Humphrey finally bought himself a pair I see. I thought it would take him atleast another a year before he made a moment."
Serena rolled her eyes and said, "can you stop being snarky for five minutes and help me out here."
"I can't tell you what to do, but ask yourself what are you so afraid of?"
