CHAPTER 9.

"Would you like me to come in with you?" Fraser asked as he, Francesca and Diefenbaker arrived at Eddie's apartment.

Francesca hesitated for a moment. Her trust in Eddie had been shattered and while she desperately wanted to believe that he wasn't going to do anything to hurt her, she could no longer be certain. "Yes," she replied eventually in a quiet voice. "I mean, I'm sure I'll be OK, but…" she trailed off.

Fraser nodded. She didn't need to put her fears into words, he could tell just by the expression on her face. Eddie had been so angry when she'd left him earlier and it had really shaken her.

Francesca took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Eddie opened it almost immediately. "Francesca!" he exclaimed. "Oh thank god you came back. I'm so sorry, I was an idiot, I'm so glad you're here." He stepped forward and attempted to put his arms around her, but Francesca backed away. For a moment Eddie looked hurt, but then he noticed Fraser standing beside her and his face turned to thunder. "What's he doing here?" he asked with a scowl.

"We're just here for the tape," replied Francesca.

"You told him?" replied Eddie incredulously. "Why?"

"Why?" snapped Francesca. "Because you're a creep and I don't trust you any more, that's why!"

"I said I was sorry, didn't I?" responded Eddie, folding his arms across his chest defiantly. "How many more times can I say it? I did a dumb thing and I promise you it won't happen again. Let's forget it ever happened."

"Forget it? I can't do that, Eddie," responded Francesca and she pushed past him and into the apartment. Fraser followed close behind.

Eddie threw his hands in the air in despair. "You're making this into a big deal, Francesca," he half shouted as he followed them in and closed the door.

"It is a big deal!" replied Francesca, raising her voice. "You lied to me. You used me to make a…to make a sex tape. I will not let anyone treat me like that. Now give me the tape."

"A sex tape! Who do you think I am, Rob Lowe?" exclaimed Eddie, unable to stop himself laughing. "Jesus, Frannie, it was just meant to be a bit of fun. Why are you getting so worked up about this? I didn't think you were the shy retiring type! I thought you'd enjoy it."

"Then why didn't you tell me?" asked Francesca. "What were you planning on doing with the tape? Huh? Selling it to the same guy who buys all your dirty pictures?"

"What dirty pictures?" asked Eddie with a frown.

"I saw them," explained Francesca. "I saw the photographs you took of those two girls. How much do you get paid for something like that? Not as much as a sex tape, I bet."

Dief barked and Fraser shot him a glare. "There's no need for language like that," he hissed at his wolf.

Eddie was fuming with anger. "I'm not even going to waste my breath answering that," he snarled at her. "If that's what you really think of me, then you'd better just leave. I thought we had something special, Francesca. I guess I was wrong."

"I thought…" began Francesca, but her voice cracked and she had to stop and compose herself before continuing. "I thought we did too."

Eddie turned away from her, shaking his head sadly. "Just go," he said quietly.

"Mr Bartolo," began Fraser. "Francesca would like the tape. I suggest you cooperate."

"Is that a threat?" sneered Eddie, his head snapping round to glare at Fraser.

"Not at all," replied Fraser, calmly.

Eddie waited a beat before letting out a growl of frustration and storming off towards the bedroom.

Fraser glanced at Francesca. "You alright?" he asked in a low voice. Dief trotted over to her and nuzzled into her leg.

Francesca nodded and bit down hard on her lower lip in an attempt to fight off tears.

Seconds later Eddie returned with the cassette in his hand. He held it out to Francesca, but she visibly recoiled in disgust. She just couldn't bring herself to touch it.

Eddie shrugged. "I thought you wanted this?" he said.

"I'll take it," said Fraser and Francesca smiled at him gratefully.

Eddie nodded and then suddenly hurled the cassette across the room towards Fraser with as much force as he could muster. Anyone else would not have been able to move in time to avoid it hitting them in the face, but Fraser's impressively honed reactions allowed him to snatch it from the air when it was just inches from his eye.

"Thank you kindly," he said. He really wanted to drag Eddie down to the station and hand him over to the Chicago PD, adding an attempted assault charge to his growing list of crimes, but he had to respect Francesca's wishes, so he fought every instinct he had and remained calm instead.

Dief started growling. He would quite happily have taken a bite out of Eddie's calf, but he thought it best to follow Fraser's lead and see how things played out.

Fraser turned to Francesca. "Would you like me to destroy this?" he asked.

Francesca nodded and Fraser immediately flipped open the cassette and began pulling out the tape.

Eddie hung his head in disappointment. Then suddenly, without warning, he burst into tears taking both Francesca and Fraser completely by surprise. He covered his face with his hands as the sobs welled up from deep inside him and he sunk to his knees in front of Francesca.

She glanced nervously at Fraser, before turning back to Eddie. "Hey," she said in a shaky voice. "Eddie? Look, I…"

"Please don't leave me," sobbed Eddie. "Please. I…I...I love you. I can't live without you."

Francesca was taken aback. "But…but…" she stammered.

"I mean it," continued Eddie. "Don't break my heart, p…p…please, I'm begging you. I'll do anything you want. I'll destroy all my cameras if it makes you happy. Anything, just don't leave me." He reached out and before Francesca could react he was clinging desperately around her waist.

Fraser stepped forward, ready to pull him off, but Francesca held out her hand to stop him. Instead she wriggled herself loose and got down on her knees in front of him. Tenderly she took his wet face in her hands and lifted it so that their gazes met.

Fraser narrowed his eyes and tried to read Francesca's face, but he couldn't. She was such a jumble of emotions right now that he couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"I love you too," Francesca whispered to Eddie. "But I…I just…" she couldn't find the right words. Instead she kissed him tenderly.

Fraser's heart sank. He wanted to scream at Francesca. What was she doing? She needed to walk away and think about this calmly and logically. She was too emotional to be making rash decisions at this juncture, he realised, but she was an adult and if he tried to interfere she would only resent him.

Dief was growling again and Fraser glanced down at him, concerned that he was about to snap and go for Eddie. If he had, Fraser wasn't entirely sure at that moment if he would make any attempt to stop him.

Francesca got to her feet, leaving Eddie in an emotional mess on the floor. She crossed to Fraser and took his hand in hers. "I'm going to stay for a while," she said. "You can go, I'll be fine."

Fraser was less than convinced. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I can wait outside if you'd like some privacy."

"Thank you, Benton," smiled Francesca, "but I need to do this. I was angry before, I still am of course, but I'm not ready to throw away what I have with Eddie."

Fraser nodded. "Alright," he said. "But please be careful."

"I will, I know what I'm doing." replied Francesca, glancing back over her shoulder at Eddie. "I was too quick to let a good relationship go once before," she added with a knowing smile. "And I've regretted that ever since. I'm not going to lose Eddie the way I lost you."

"Lost…lost me?" repeated Fraser, awkwardly. "I'm not sure that I…I mean, that was a slightly different situation."

Francesca raised herself up onto her tiptoes and kissed him gently on the cheek. "It's OK," she whispered. "You don't have to pretend. I know how much it hurt, I felt the same way, but we had to let it go. This time I'm stronger. I need this, Benton, and I need you to be happy for me."

Fraser's mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. He was very concerned that Francesca was still harbouring the illusion that they'd had some kind of relationship, but at this moment in time he was far more concerned that she was contemplating staying with Eddie. He glanced at Eddie who was now on his feet and had made some attempt to pull himself together.

"Alright," he agreed eventually. "But if you need me for anything you have Mr Mustafi's telephone number, please call me."

"I will," replied Francesca and she finally released his hand. "Please don't tell Ray about any of this."

"You have my word," Fraser assured her and he somewhat reluctantly turned to leave, but Eddie called out to him before he'd reached the door.

"Fraser," he said, his voice trembling a little. "As you can probably tell, I have a few issues I need to deal with," he began. "There are a few things from my past that, well…I have demons, Fraser. I'm sure you have some of your own."

"One or two," admitted Fraser.

"But I promise you, I will never hurt Francesca," continued Eddie. "I made a huge mistake tonight and I almost paid the price." He stepped forward and put his arm around Francesca as he spoke. "But I'm never going to risk losing you again," he said, turning to her. "Ever."

Francesca smiled back and let out a contented sigh. They still had a lot to talk about, but she desperately wanted to make their relationship work. She'd almost forgotten how angry and humiliated she'd felt only a short while earlier. Right now all she felt was love.

Fraser's feelings were far more mixed. He half considered standing guard outside the apartment for the rest of the night, but then thought better of it. He couldn't risk upsetting Francesca, not now. He needed her to trust him so that he could stay close enough to keep an eye on her. Her relationship with Ray was stretched to breaking point and the emotional distance between the siblings was so great that her brother couldn't be there for her, but Fraser could.

He didn't trust Eddie at all, now. Francesca may have been taken in by his mind games, but Fraser was far more suspicious. Eddie had gone from being very angry to almost falling apart in a matter of minutes and that meant that either he was unstable, or he was deliberately manipulating her. Whichever it was could potentially be very dangerous for anyone who tried to get in his way.

"Goodnight," said Fraser quickly before his thoughts became too dark. "Dief, come," he added when he realised the wolf showed no signs of moving.

Dief barked and yapped.

"No," replied Fraser sternly. "You cannot do that. Come. Now."

Dief growled again and grudgingly obeyed.

xXxXx

"How do I look?" Fraser smoothed down his red tunic and glanced at his hair in the mirror. He hadn't really slept at all since he'd left Eddie's apartment. Between worrying about Francesca and worrying about Ray sleep was the last thing his mind was going to allow him to do.

Dief yapped a reply.

"Oh dear," said Fraser. "You're right, of course." With a sigh he began removing his uniform and quickly changed into casual clothes. Fraser's RCMP uniform was his protective shield, he knew that. It was part of the mask, he felt almost invincible when he wore it. But he didn't need to be a Mountie today. Today he just needed to be Benton Fraser…Benny.

Dief paced around the tiny apartment watching the Mountie fret. His stomach rumbled and he trotted over to the kitchen to look for food. When Fraser was in this state he rarely remembered to eat anything himself, let alone to feed his wolf.

There was a knock at the door. Fraser drew a sharp breath.

Ray…

Fraser had intended to visit Ray at home this morning, but seemed his friend had had the same idea. Fraser suddenly felt strangely nervous.

This is silly…he's my best friend…all I have to do is apologise for Victoria…

Another knock.

Fraser let his breath out slowly and opened the door.

"Hello, Ray," he said with a smile.

"Hey, Benny," replied Ray, more curtly than he'd intended.

"We need to…" began Fraser, but Ray finished his sentence.

"Talk, yeah I know." Ray had planned to say so much, but suddenly he couldn't remember any of it. He let out a long, slow sigh. "I'm sorry, Benny. I'm a moron."

I guess 'I'm a moron' pretty much sums it up…

Fraser stood in stunned silence. The last thing he expected, or wanted, was for Ray to apologise.

"Ray," he said eventually. "Please come in. Can I offer you some breakfast?"

The tension in Ray's face dissolved to be replaced by a warm smile. "You sure you wouldn't prefer to eat breakfast with Capone?" he asked as he walked into Fraser's apartment.

"Al Capone? He's dead, Ray," replied Fraser with a frown.

"I just meant…oh never mind, I was kidding," Ray rolled his eyes and laughed at the way Fraser never got his jokes. He threw his overcoat over the back of a chair before sitting down.

"I'm afraid I haven't much to offer," said Fraser checking his barren cupboards before opening his virtually empty fridge.

"I'm not really hungry anyway. Just coffee's fine," said Ray.

"Oh…"

Ray shook his head. "Forget it, Benny. "

Fraser filled two glasses with tap water and carried them back to the table. Ray gratefully took one of the glasses and gulped half the contents. He hadn't realised just how dry his mouth was.

Fraser sat in the other chair opposite Ray. "You know you really don't have to apologise for anything," he began after he'd taken a few sips of water himself. "And you have every right to be angry with me about what happened with…with…er…with…"

Ray felt nothing but pity for his friend as he watched him stutter over his words.

Jeez, he can't even say her name! Even after all this time…

"Benny, listen, Victoria is long gone," said Ray. "I shouldn't have brought it all up. I know how hard it was for you and…"

"But you did bring it up," Fraser interrupted him. "And I can only conclude that there was a good reason for that."

Ray shrugged. "I was just mad about Frannie and Eddie, that's all," he replied.

"No," replied Fraser. "It's more than that. Ray, I think it's important at this juncture that we discuss…" He stopped to clear his throat. "That is, we've never really talked about…" He trailed off again and rubbed furiously at his eyebrow with his thumb. "What I mean is, perhaps if we…"

Ray grinned broadly. "I seem to remember you told me once that there's nothing more unnerving to men than talking about feelings."

The corner of Fraser's mouth twitched into a crooked smile. "Ordinarily I'd stand by what I said at that time," he admitted, tugging at his ear awkwardly. "But perhaps in this instance, it may be beneficial for both of us?"

"You sure about that?" asked Ray.

"I believe we need to," replied Fraser, his voice cracking with emotion. "You mentioned it the other day, it still plays on your mind."

"I don't know about you, Benny, but I think we'd have more fun poking reeds under our fingernails," said Ray.

Fraser turned around. "You know, Ray, the Inuit believe fingernails hold…"

"Not now, Benny."

"Sorry."

Ray sighed. "OK. Here we go. I'm sorry I failed you as a friend and let you walk into a trap," he said. "It's all my fault, I should have stopped it all happening, but I didn't. There, you've heard all of my feelings about Victoria now. Satisfied?"

"It wasn't your fault, Ray," insisted Fraser.

"Oh, yeah and crazy as this might sound, I feel kinda guilty about shooting you in the back!" added Ray, rolling his eyes.

"You really have no need to."

"I shouldn't have pulled the trigger," continued Ray shaking his head. "There were civilians around, I was too far away and she was a moving target. I know I broke every rule in the book, but I just couldn't let her kill you."

"I don't think she intended to kill me. Far from it," Fraser tried to explain. "She wanted me to go with her. And…I almost did."

"She had a gun pointed at you, Benny. What do you think she was going to do with it? Make you a nice cup of bark tea?"

"There was no gun, Ray. I took her gun from her before she boarded the train," replied Fraser with a puzzled frown.

"But…but I saw it," said Ray, sweeping his hand over his forehead. "And I panicked and…are you sure she didn't have a gun?"

"Quite sure, Ray."

Ray let out a slow breath. "You mean to tell me I almost killed you…for nothing?" The realisation only made his heart feel heavier.

"Not for nothing, Ray," said Fraser, looking directly at his friend. "Your bullet saved my life."

"Is that how you save someone's life in Canada? By shooting them in the back?" exclaimed Ray, his voice rising as he spoke. "Well next time my life needs saving remind me not to call you!"

"It's true, Ray," Fraser tried to explain. "When I started running along the platform my personal feelings for her were irrelevant. By then I knew then the full extent of her deceit and my only thought was to bring her to justice. However, with every step I took my mind became…jumbled. She begged me to go with her and I distinctly remember a moment when I could see no reason not to. All sense had left me, Ray. I'd lost my mind. By the time I caught up with her, I cannot be certain if I intended to go with her, or to bring her in. I've tried to make sense of it all, but I can't. The worst thing is, although my memories are still hazy, I believe I was about to go with her."

"And then I shot you," said Ray as he started to understand what Fraser was saying.

Fraser nodded. "If you hadn't…"

He didn't need to say anything else. They both knew how Fraser's life would have played out if he had gone with Victoria and it would not have been pretty, nor very long, most likely.

"I'm sorry for everything I put you through," said Fraser after a few minutes of silence, "but I thought she was…" he paused and tried to think of a suitable word. The truth was he didn't really understand why he'd behaved the way he had, so how could he make Ray understand? "I thought she was…misguided," he said eventually.

"And you thought you could help her," nodded Ray.

You can't help everyone, Benny…

"Yes," agreed Fraser. "I believed I could guide her onto a better path. I should have listened to you."

"And it never occurred to you that a crazy psychopath who took part in armed robberies, killed people and framed innocent Mounties wasn't in any hurry to change?" asked Ray raising his eyebrows.

"Well with the benefit of hindsight…" began Fraser.

"And you almost had me convinced too, Benny," said Ray with a sigh. "You made me doubt myself back then. You're never wrong about people, so why should you listen to me?"

"But I was wrong about her," said Fraser, sadly. "I can't explain why I couldn't see it. It was as if she had some kind of hold over me and…"

"Sex," said Ray, flatly.

Fraser felt his face flush red.

Ray laughed. "It's OK, Benny," he said. "I know there was more to it than that, but whatever it was she played you like a book."

"I believe you're mixing your metaphors, Ray," Fraser pointed out. "But I agree. I was a fool and I will never forgive myself for the mistakes I made."

"She was smart, Benny" replied Ray. "Don't blame yourself."

"But…" Fraser hesitated. "But you blame me, don't you?"

Ray was taken aback at the direct question. He should have answered immediately to reassure his friend, he realised, but his hesitation spoke volumes.

"I understand," said Fraser quietly. He got up from the table and crossed to the window.

"Benny," said Ray, dropping his face into his hands. "The only one to blame is her. Don't beat yourself up over this. The whole thing was a mess. I'm just sorry I let you down."

"You didn't let me down, Ray."

Ray lifted his head at the sound of Fraser's voice. He turned to see the forlorn shape of his friend leaning against the wall with his back to Ray. It made him feel sick inside to realise just how much damage Victoria Metcalfe had done. He drained the last of his water, ashamed at feeling sorry for himself.

I didn't suffer like you did…I should be stronger…

But if Fraser wanted to understand how he felt, so the least he could do was try to explain. Ray turned back to stare at the table.

"I nearly killed you, Benny," he said quietly. "And I was…I was mad with you for putting me in that position…"

Fraser nodded slowly, unable to speak.

"Course if I had killed you the ladies of Chicago would've lynched me..." said Ray, the tone of his voice suddenly lighter. "Yeah, a lynch mob led by Frannie and Elaine...figure I'd have paid for what I'd done..." Fraser saw the tiny hint of a smile and Ray's green eyes twinkled with wicked humour.

"What a ridiculous notion…ah, this is another joke isn't it." Fraser managed to smile through his blushes and Ray returned a grin, but his smile soon faded and he turned back to stare out of the window again.

Fraser remembered the time he'd stood in this exact position staring desperately out into the street hoping to see Victoria. He'd filled his apartment with candles and silently begged her to come back to him. At the time he hadn't realised the extent of her betrayal, he hadn't realised how intricately she had planned his downfall.

If I had, would I ever have lit those candles…?

The thing that frightened him the most was that he couldn't answer his own question. He was terrified by the possibility that, even if he'd known exactly what she'd been planning all along, he would still have taken her back.

Suddenly Fraser felt Ray's hand on his shoulder. Ray wasn't often one for physical displays of emotion and that only made the gesture more meaningful to Fraser. Part of him wished Ray had ended their friendship after Victoria. It would have been easier in many ways, he thought.

I don't deserve your friendship, Ray…

"I shouldn't have thrown all this back in your face the other day," said Ray. "Not exactly Mr Sensitive, am I? It's got nothing to do with Frannie and Eddie."

"Your concern for your sister is commendable, Ray," said Fraser earnestly.

Ray shrugged. "Is it?" he asked. "She hates me now, but I guess it's better that she's still alive to hate me than…" Ray let the sentence hang. "I almost lost her once, too, Benny. Someone must really enjoy seeing me suffer."

"I understand your feelings about what happened in the past, but the bad memories are clouding your judgement," replied Fraser, gingerly. He needed Ray to realise that he had become unfocussed, but he didn't want Ray to take offence at the accusation. Of course the fact that Fraser was now having doubts about Eddie only made matters more complicated.

"Yeah, I know," agreed Ray, nodding slowly.

"That's not to say that Eddie may not…" began Fraser, but he trailed off. He'd promised Francesca that he wouldn't tell Ray about what had happened the previous night, but he briefly considered mentioning that he had concerns. Then he had second thoughts.

Fraser was not convinced he'd made the right decision in leaving Francesca at Eddie's apartment last night, but if Ray ever found out about what had happened the fallout for the siblings would be so destructive Fraser wondered if Ray's relationship with his sister would ever recover. Fraser needed to be absolutely sure that his own concerns were warranted before he mentioned them to Ray. Francesca's emotions had been in turmoil and Fraser had been stunned at how quickly she'd agreed to give Eddie a second chance, but she'd allowed her heart to rule her head. The parallels between Francesca's situation and his own experiences with Victoria were beginning to cause him great concern.

Perhaps my judgement is clouded by memories from the past too? Eddie is not Victoria…

"Have you spoken to Francesca this morning?" asked Fraser, casually.

"No, but Maria took a phonecall from her," replied Ray. "Guess where she was. Where she still is, probably."

Fraser breathed a sigh of relief and mentally kicked himself for having been so worried. "Um…er…" he mumbled. Of course he knew the answer.

"At Eddie's apartment. She stayed out all night," added Ray with a sneer. "Said she'd be home later."

"I see," replied Fraser. He slowly ran his tongue over his lower lip. "You know, Ray. I've been thinking."

"Careful there, Benny," grinned Ray.

"It wouldn't hurt to do a little more checking into Eddie's background," continued Fraser, ignoring the jibe.

"Really?" replied Ray in surprise. "But the other day…"

"Something has come to light since then," Fraser tried to explain.

"What?" asked Ray, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"I'm afraid I am unable to elaborate at this juncture," replied Fraser. "Suffice to say that it is something that warrants further investigation."

"And how am I supposed to investigate something if you won't tell me what it is?" asked Ray.

"Ah, well you'll just have to follow my lead for the time being," replied Fraser.

Ray stood up and snatched his coat from the back of his chair. "You are the most annoying man in the world!" he exclaimed. "Did I ever tell you that?"

"Often," replied Fraser as he followed Ray towards the door.

Ray grinned and slapped his friend affectionately on the back. "See, I'm great at telling you how I feel!" he said with a grin. "Now come on, let's go investigate the jerk my sister's dating."