Yukari and I stared at one another for a time. I don't know how long it was. It was impossible to tell. We stood in silence and stared, not making any sort of movement. I wanted to hit her until my arms fell off yet I made no attempt to. I stared at her with endless hate, yet I couldn't help but think of every fun moment I ever had with her. Even what she did to me seemed to be taking a backseat to those much preferred memories. Not that I should complain about it, but why would I think about them now at this moment when I was about to make her pay? The chance to forget that terrible memory was long gone. I had to attack! I had to fight her! But I didn't move. I was frozen in place.
My body decided to move on its own, but when it did, fiery pain touched every inch of it.
"Arrgh! Gah!"
My muscles were spasming intensely. I wasn't even trying to move my body, yet it seemed to be fighting against me. I already gave up on trying to control it. It was free to do the bidding of my anger with no disagreement from me, but it still fought.
I screamed wretchedly, swinging an arm clumsily through the air. I swung again at nothing then pointlessly stomped my foot into the marble floor. It was like I had an invisible enemy in front of me and my body was trying to fight it. It was the way it looked from my eyes. There was no way for me to tell. I was nothing more than just a worthless spectator in all of this now.
During my mindless screaming and thrashing around, shadowy Sakuya and Meiling made the poor choice in trying to stop me. They each grabbed a hold of one of my arms, stopping me momentarily.
"You're gonna HURT yourSELF!" Meiling shrieked. Her distress was noticeable behind the dark shroud.
"Yes. Please. Calm. D OOOOOWN!" Sakuya yelled. She looked utterly lost and scared behind that veil of dark smoke.
So badly I wanted to just shut my eyes and avoid watching myself hurt the two innocent servants, but I was forced to watch as I tore my arm from the Gate Guard before slamming my foot down onto her right foot and crushing it into the floor. The howl she made caused my blood to curdle. My freed arm went flying towards the Maid, blood spurting out from her mouth the second my fist collided with the center of her chest. The violent punch blasted her backwards all the way to the faraway wall. She bounced off of it and hit the floor and remained there unmoving.
First I hurt her master, then I crushed her foot and now I harm her close friend. Meiling deserved to look more furious with me than she was. It almost looked like she was holding back.
Please don't hold back! I deserve to be punished!
Meiling unleashed a roar of fury and threw a fist towards me, a fist I managed to block by crossing my arms in front of me. The force of her punch made me skid backwards across the floor a short distance. She closed that distance in a near instant. Another of her deadly fists was thrown towards me.
"Stay out of my way!" I screamed at her.
My scream carried with it my twisted power, sending out a rippling sound wave towards Meiling. She swung her fist into it, but the sound wave overcame her punch and blasted her back. She landed on her back and immediately jumped back up onto her feet. But when she landed, her crushed foot gave out from under her and she lost her balance. It was at that moment that I took the opportunity to attack. I took off sprinting and aimed directly at the side of Meiling's head, right at the temple. I was aiming to turn her lights out for good with one punch and I probably would have if it wasn't for Yukari appearing in front of me.
I stopped abruptly when I found those impossibly black eyes glaring down at me. Again, we just stood there in silence. What the hell was I waiting for? Attack! Attack!
At last I made a move. With my teeth grinding together, I threw a punch right for the center of Yukari's face. She didn't make any attempt to block or dodge it so my fist hit its mark perfectly. Her head bounced back slightly and my fist and the rest of my arm trembled from the collision. I hit her pretty hard, but she appeared unfazed. Then again, it was impossible to tell what she was feeling behind that thick wall of blackness.
Simple physical attacks were obviously not going to work alone so I pulled out a spell card to assist me. "Holy Relic "Yin-Yang Demon God Orb"!" I declared.
The spell card burst into an ominous blue flame, transforming into a giant, spinning yin-yang orb. The yin-yang orb came into being right between Yukari and I and I quickly pushed it the rest of the short distance into the shadowy youkai. I expected my spell at such a close range to easily crash into her, but I had forgotten how quick she could be despite not being the most physically active person in Gensokyo. The second I pushed the yin-yang orb, she smacked the spiraling orb out of my hold and into the air like it was nothing. I watched surprised as my yin-rang orb crashed into the ceiling as it made its way through the rest of the mansion and to the sky.
I sneered at the soundless woman and leaped into the air. This fight was far from over. Not if I had anything to say about it!
"Jewel Sign "Orbs of Light, Cast into Shade"!" I declared a second spell card.
Three large yin-yang orbs materialized in front of me and I immediately sent them on their way. I sent the middle yin-yang orb directly at Yukari while sending the other two to the far left and right walls. I could only grow even more frustrated as she shattered the first orb sent at her with just the simple swing of her arm with no displayed effort. The other two orbs bounced off the walls and towards Yukari. They would have sandwiched her between them, but two gaps that formed on other side of the youkai swallowed them both, leaving the youkai untouched.
I grabbed a hold of my head and groaned miserably from the thumping pain I started to feel. Either it being from the frustration of not being able to land a proper hit on Yukari or just from everything else that I felt towards the blasted woman or a combination of the two, the pain that was pounding my brain was increasing rapidly. Any second now and my brains would be splattered all over the place. I just know it.
My body twisted and contorted painfully, causing me to shout out in pain with each forceful jerk of my muscles. It almost felt as if something else was moving inside me, fighting for the control that I had already given up. Why it seemed to struggle was beyond my ability to comprehend. Was it trying to stop me from hurting Yukari? Or was it… the other way around? Thinking about it did nothing but make my head hurt more and my body to knot up more tightly and painfully. I was so confused to what it was that I wanted now. All that hard work in getting here just for me to forget what it was that I was really after in the first place. I'm truly the stupidest person in Gesnokyo.
My back jerked backwards. "Wh-Wh-Why are you fighting against it n-now…?" I mumbled breathlessly. My body then threw itself forward. "I don't know… I just wanna go home…" I whined pathetically. I have finally started talking to myself. My journey into insanity was complete.
If only I could just wake up from this nightmare and find myself in the comfort of my home… then maybe this pain would go away.
"No!" I suddenly shouted. "You can't go home yet! You didn't hurt all those innocent people just to turn back now!" I shouted louder, directing my hate towards myself.
I reached both hands into my right and left pockets, pulled out several large stacks of amulets and threw them into the air. The stacks fell apart, surrounding me in several hundred amulets.
"Die, Yukari, diiiiie!" I screamed in a horrible echo.
All the amulets surrounding me lit up in raging flames. With one violent release of my dark power, the burning amulets were blasted everywhere, bombarding the entire hall. Yukari had nowhere to run. At least that's what I thought, until I remembered how easily she could move between spaces.
A gap opened under Yukari's feet and she vanished into it, easily getting away from the storm of amulets. My attack did nothing but set the place on fire. Below me was a sea of fire now. It was still nothing more than a single match to the hell that was my heart.
A gap opened directly in front of me. I stupidly expected it to be Yukari herself to pop out, but what I got instead was dozens of my own amulets flying out and striking me. Each amulet stung like a nest of hornets.
"Aaahouch!"
After the last amulet hit me, I immediately got to work patting myself down, extinguishing any flames that caught my ruined clothe. I quickly scanned the area afterwards in search of the damn woman. I was angered to see her standing where she just was seconds ago, looking up at me with those black eyes in silence, and never minding the patches of fire all around her.
"What are you thinking…?" I asked the youkai in a whisper. Why? I don't know. Do I really care what exactly it was that was going through that woman's mind?
Not really… I just wanna go home… Just to go home… Home… Home… Home…
At probably the worst time in the history of the world, I suddenly found myself crying again. Though I cried for the umpteenth time, I made no move to wipe them away. I just let them fall this time around.
"Hic… Why is she just standing there? Do something, damn it…" I said as I glared at the black shape.
Yukari was refusing to go on the offensive. It pissed me off. Even after all that she did to me, it was hard for me to attack her when she wasn't attacking back. It shouldn't be a problem at all, but it was. Maybe I was getting cold feet? It would explain some things if it were true. But not everything…
"Come on, Yukariiiii!" I called out to her. "Don't just stand there like a lump on a log and fight meeeee!"
She shook her head at me. Just seeing here shake her head in response infuriated me. If she wasn't going to come to me then I was going to be forced to go to her!
"Fine! Be that way!" I shouted.
I pulled out two of the same spell card, throwing one out high above Yukari's head. I tossed the second one at Yukari, placing it directly under her feet.
"Dream Sign "Evil-Sealing Circle"!" I declared.
Each card transformed into a large, dark blue barrier. With just one mental command from me, the barrier beneath Yukari flew upwards with the youkai in tow, while the one above fell downward. The two barriers slammed into one another, letting loose a gust of heavy winds. At least I thought the two barriers had slammed together, but with closer inspection I was able to see that Yukari herself was able to stop the two barriers with just her strength. She didn't seem to struggle at all as she kept the two barriers from crushing her between them with just her arms and legs. With a simple push, she sent the barriers to the ceiling and floor. The barriers exploded into pieces in a flash of blue light upon impact. All I did was silently curse at her as she hovered there, staring at me like nothing happened.
I suddenly snapped. Not that I hadn't snapped already, but I REALLY snapped this time. I finally hit that milestone of craziness when I fell into insane, broken laughter. The mindless laughing only made my body hurt more, but I couldn't stop myself. I tried covering my mouth with my hands, but all I managed to do by doing that was nearly make myself choke on my own tongue. I laughed and laughed, embarrassing myself in front of Yukari and anyone else that may be watching. I really wanted to go home and bury my face into a pillow. This was just pathetic. The laughing slowly came to a stop, leaving me with my hands on my knees and gasping for air.
With my bangs draped over my eyes, I lifted my head slightly to glance at Yukari. "Heh… You're as powerful as ever, Yukari…" I muttered in such a dark voice that I made myself quiver. I don't know if I was trying to be intimidating or what, but it worked. On me, that is…
Out from my torn sleeves popped out some purification needles. With a needle tucked tightly between my fingers, I blasted forward towards the dark Yukari. I swung my right arm in a wide arc, aiming for her temple. A small gap opened and my fist went in. The gap closed right around my arm, ensnaring me in midair. I roared furiously and threw a jab with my left, aiming to pierce Yukari's black heart with the needles. Another gap put a quick stop to that plan, entrapping my left arm just like my right.
I bet that now that my arms were chained that Yukari thought she had me cornered, but she was wrong! I empowered my muscles and with one good pull I tore my arms out of the gaps. I tightened my fists and sent them both towards Yukari's face, cracking her good. I followed with a kick to her gut. She hunched over from the blow and I brought my knee up into her nose, knocking her right back up. Her head wobbled a little on her neck in an apparent daze, giving me the opportunity to lay waste on her.
Roaring loud enough to shake the mansion's foundation, I swung a left hook. I struck the woman across the face and immediately threw a right hook, hitting her across the face again. I didn't stop there. I couldn't stop. My anger pushed my arms for me, sending me into a berserker rage. I struck Yukari with one hook after another in a relentless onslaught brought from that cruel night she herself had weaved. It wasn't long before I could no longer feel my fists hitting against her skull. Even a strong youkai would have had their skull smashed in by now, but Yukari had one tough structure.
I think I had blacked out somewhere between all the swinging and yelling because I found myself with my head drooped forward suddenly. I don't remember stopping, not that it matters. I floated there and breathed exhaustively. Tears were still flowing from my eyes. I watched as they dropped one after the other to the wrecked floor below.
I heard someone else breathing heavily. Yukari, most likely. But I didn't bother looking up at her. I didn't want to look at her. I never wanted to see her again. I told myself that once before. Several times before, actually. Yet I forced my way here to face her anyways. I'm not very consistent with what I want and my actions… I'm an idiot…
"Oh, there you are, Reimu," said Yukari. Her voice stung me. It wasn't warped by the dark shroud like all of the others. It was her normal, everyday voice. But it was painful to listen to regardless…
I floated limply there in the air as I refrained from facing the woman. "I hate you…" I muttered. My heart spoke for me through my lips.
"I know…" she replied.
"The things you have done not just to me, but my family… My mother… My grandmother… Hate barely scratches the surface… of how I feel about you right now, Yukari…" I said.
"I know…"
"You planned to do the same to my daughter… Even before she had the chance to step foot into this world…" I said as I stared at my swollen belly, picturing the tiny person growing inside there. "I won't let you… I can't let you… I'd rather die than let you."
There was a silence for a time. No idea how long. Even though it hurt to hear her voice, I silently begged her to say something. Anything. I didn't care what. Telling me that night and everything that has happened after was just a dream would be nice, though. In the end, it was me who broke the silence.
"I'll never forgive you," I stated coldly.
"That's okay," Yukari said. "I will never ask you to. But… could you please at least… look at me?"
Strangely, I looked up to face Yukari without really thinking about it. It just happened on its own. Not that it mattered. But what did matter were the two golden eyes looking back at me. Once again, for whatever reason or maybe even a lack of a reason, the dark shroud was gone from Yukari. It had left those two beautiful eyes for me to see. I hated the owner of those eyes, but those eyes always had a certain, mystical calmness that would infect me with the same sense of calmness. Today, even after everything that happened, was no different. Except for one thing…
For the first time in my life, I was witnessing tears rolling down from Yukari's eyes. They glittered from the light of the fires that still burned everywhere. She was smiling at me, trying to cheer me up, but obviously she was failing with those tears running down her cheeks. We both were shedding tears together for the first time. I never thought that seeing Yukari cry would hurt so much.
Yukari snorted a little when tears started to fill her nose. She tried to make her smile bigger. "Hello, Reimu. It was really hard to see you under there," she said. She tried to pretend like her tears weren't even there. "You're such a strong girl, Reimu. I'm very proud of you, you know."
My tears picked up strength. "What are you talking about? You think I want to talk to you right now? Are you stupid?" I said.
"I know, Reimu…" Yukari said, her smile faltering for a moment from my hate-filled words. "But… it's okay now."
"It's not okay! Nothing can return to normal because of YOU!" I screamed abruptly. The scream came so suddenly that all my breath went into it and I needed a second to get air back into my lungs.
Yukari's smile slowly went away as she nodded. Her eyes trailed away from mine and to the floor. "All this power I possess… and I cannot even erase the past… Quite useless it is," she said. Her eyes slowly made their way back up to mine. She smiled at me again. "It's over."
Uh… What?
I didn't understand what Yukari was trying to say. I couldn't produce the words myself, so I used my eyes to ask her what she was talking about.
"This world just isn't worth it," she told me.
I continued to stare at her, confused. She wasn't making any sense at all. I wanted to punch her for not being clear enough for me to understand. My lungs were filled with air again and I went to speak up, but the pain from my heart kept me silenced.
I hunched over clenching my chest. It was that fire again, engulfing me in its agonizing embrace. I moaned wretchedly as my muscles seemed to explode. My body began contorting wildly again. I hated myself more than anything now. If I had just stayed home in bed then none of this would be happening.
"Wh-Why is this… ha-happening?" I asked disjointedly as I fought to stop my body's mindless thrashing.
Concern was plastered on Yukari's face. She reached out for me, and it was then when the dark shroud returned with a horrid vengeance. It consumed Yukari in its clutches, turning her into a black shadow of herself once again. I was going to scream at the dark mist for taking Yukari, but instead I howled out into the world of Gensokyo. I begged anyone that heard me to come and save us.
I held out my hand into the air and clenched it. Terrible power was pulled from seemingly everywhere and into my hand. It was impossible to tell where exactly it was coming from. It certainly wasn't my own power. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be. My anger went far, but this hellish power was being pulled from somewhere else.
It was at that moment that I felt a murderous hate… A hatred that was different… and far more greater… than my own. I wanted to run away from it. I wanted to run and hide, but I was forced to stay and watch as the horrible hate pooled into my very own hand.
"Exorcism Sign "Entombment of the Dead Spirits"!" I declared a spell. It was a violent spell; a spell that was designed to kill. I could tell even before it had materialized into being. This spell was not of my creation!
Time seemed to stop as I launched my dreaded attack. With my fist covered in warped darkness, I swung at Yukari with immense hatred propelling my fist forward. Yukari was frozen still in time and unable to do anything about my incoming attack and took the punch directly to the face, dark fire splashing out everywhere on impact. Her body didn't even have the chance to react to the hit before I threw another punch, striking her in the head immediately after the first. I landed a third punch to her stomach, a left and right hook to her face, and a series of rapid stomps to her chest in the span of an instant with more splashes of dark fire raining out from each hit. The last move to end the chain of attacks was me grabbing Yukari by the face and flying forward with her. I took her by the head and slammed her into the brick wall of the mansion, unleashing what was left of the gathered dark power in one large explosion.
Yukari was definitely hurt from that attack I unleashed on her. I know because I felt every bit of pain she felt as it happened. I screamed too as it happened, though my screams never left my mouth. They could only resonate within my mind.
I found myself standing in a wrecked bedroom when the smoke cleared. I immediately apologized to Remilia for what I did to her home. Yukari was on the ground in a pile of wood and stone. She was already working on getting up onto her feet, but she was struggling.
I had hurt her. The pain she was feeling was peanuts to the pain she inflicted on me that night… but I still didn't feel justified in hurting her. In fact, I felt worse…
This terrible hate was running painfully through my body, but I failed to tremble even a little from it. I just stood there staring at Yukari as I tried to figure out what it was that I was going to do to her. I took one step towards her, only to be stopped by a voice that lifted all of the pain. So happy was I to hear it yet so terrified to be seen by the one who owned that sweet, loveable voice.
"Reimu!" the voice called out to me. "Reimu! Girl, just what the hell do you think you're doing?!"
That voice took my breath away. I was utterly conflicted on whether or not I should face the one now standing behind me, but it didn't take long for my body to decide for me. Slowly, I turned around, nearly bursting into more tears when I came into eye contact with the blond-haired girl. It was no surprise to me that she was free from the touch of the dark mist. Of course she would be. She's Marisa!
"Marisa?" I said quietly. I didn't think she even heard me at first.
"Yeah, yeah. It's me," Marisa said with a bit of an attitude. She didn't look too happy with the amount of damage I did to the mansion. Not that she's one to talk.
My heart was spared the burning pain for the first time in a long time. I could finally breathe comfortably again by simply knowing Marisa was here now. With that said, the pain pushed itself back into my heart when I looked on her face. One of her eyes was covered with a piece of cloth that was tied around her head, hiding the gruesome scar that was underneath. Ran did that to her. She said it was an accident. She did that when Marisa was trying to help me and attacked Yukari. Marisa was the only one who helped me that night… and she paid for it with the loss of an eye. She lost that eye because of me. For me…
An expression of great dismay appeared on Marisa's face as she looked at me. "By the gods… I had heard the rumors, but didn't believe them… But it's true…" she said. Her eye was watering up and she suddenly glared angrily at me. "How dare you hurt my friend…" she said. "What kind of monster does this to someone who's pregnant?"
I looked at my best friend in confusion. "Wh-Wha? Me the monster? I don't understand… Don't say such weird things, Marisa," I said then forced a chuckle.
Marisa looked appalled for a second before looking incredibly sad. "You don't… Know what's going on?" she asked me.
"Uh- of course I know what's going on!" I yelled, getting a little flustered. "I've been fighting all these possessed people all day. I've… I've been having a little difficulty is all…" I said awkwardly.
Marisa seemed speechless and remained silent for a while.
Why are you looking at me like that? You're supposed to be telling me how much better you're doing than me in solving this incident. Come on… Tell me… Tell me something that will make me laugh. Tell me something… that will make all this darkness go away…
Marisa brushed that stunned expression of hers away and put on that cocky grin of hers. I was glad to see it, but it didn't look like it normally did. This time it looked forced, like she wasn't too sure of the situation.
"I don't know much about exorcisms, but I swear…" Marisa said and flicked up the brim of her hat. "I'm gonna save ya this time, Reimu. I'll blast whatever the hell that dark shroud is off from ya. Count on it!"
Dark… shroud? What dark shroud…?
What Marisa said didn't make me happy. Not at all. Instead, it horrified me. But that was nothing compared to the true horror I witnessed when my eyes caught sight of the cracked full-length mirror sitting off to the side in the room.
I stared in horror at what couldn't possibly be my own reflection. A person covered in that evil veil of darkness was looking back at me with pitch black eyes. Black smoke danced around the person, draining the uniform she wore of its red and white color. After an unknown amount of time staring at the dark person, I finally accepted the terrible truth.
It was me. I couldn't even begin to fool myself into thinking it wasn't. I think I knew… even when I first walked out my door today that what I was seeing now in that mirror was what I had become. The dark mist of the world was what I saw through my blackened eyes. The dark possessed merely veiled by the denial of those same black eyes. Their voices warped by my refusal to accept the help that they desperately tried to give me. The entire darkness was of my own creation, born from the horror of that night. I made them all suffer for it… My blind hatred made me hurt those dear to me.
At least… that is what I thought.
The longer I looked in the mirror, the more I fell back into deep confusion. I wished it ended there. Everything would be better off if it only had ended there. Everything would make sense in my eyes if it did. But the person that stared back at me from within the mirror… She wasn't me. She had a remarkable resemblance to me, yes, but… She appeared to be a more developed version of me. An older me.
Both I and the dark person in the mirror seemed to be the only ones in existence for a time as we continued to stare at one another. Complete and utter silence was the only other company we had.
Are my eyes trying to trick me again? Just what the hell… am I looking at?
All of reality was coming apart at the seams. Has my own madness called her back from beyond? Or was she always here… since the beginning?
