Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who voted in The Cullen Awards! A Little Less Than Before was the runner-up for the Jasper Award! Congratulations to AngstGoddess003 for winning with her story, Wide Awake! I was also runner-up for Best Author, with bronzehairedgirl620 taking first place. I'm humbled to have even been included with such well-known authors, so once again, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart! *points to review count* And for that! Really? Already 720+ reviews? You guys are freakin' awesome! *celebrates*

IcelandGirl812 is total win. We keep each other up for too many hours talking about random things like Rob Pattinson freaking shirtless (swoon), the fact that I'm too short to reach taco seasoning on shelves, Pop tarts breaking on her bed, and all things water-related to get her to get up. Bwahaa! She checked this chapter over for me and helped me out so much, so you have her to thank for this being posted. I laaabs her and so should you :)

Long chapter warning. So, grab some popcorn and a beverage of your choice and enjoy Jasper getting one torn into him ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But, holy moley, Edward Cullen owns me more than ever now that I have seen him without his shirt.


A Little Less Than Before

Chapter Nine;

Enough For Now

"Take it on your shoulder till you can find another; That's enough for now, he should have never left you broken."


Jasper Whitlock

I know I should've waited maybe, what, a week? A week to let Jezebels be pissed off at me. But I just couldn't stand us not talking. I wasn't used to it; I fucking hated it. I should have run after her, but I was frozen in place because Alice and I had gotten caught in the lie I initiated.

And when Edward ran after her before I could even get my feet to move... damn. I wanted to yank him back and tell him it was my job to make sure she was alright, but fuck me sideways, I stayed there because I didn't think I could handle looking at her while realizing her pain was my fault. So, I didn't stop him. I let him run after her because I couldn't and instead just waited until she'd calmed down.

I called and called and called because I was a coward. I was an idiot for ever deciding to keep it a secret. I figured it'd be for the best, but I was wrong. Oh, so very wrong.

Since she wouldn't answer my calls, I decided to pay her a visit with a bouquet of her favorite flowers and a dozen of those high-calorie cupcakes she always used to get during our breaks at Seattle U. When she didn't answer, it was obvious she wasn't home. So, I let myself in, left the peace offerings on her kitchen counter and left her a note, hoping she wouldn't just throw it all away even though I kind of had a feeling she would.

She never called me back to tell me whether or not she liked it. I even asked Alice, but she said Bella never mentioned anything about cupcakes or flowers when they went to the usual.

Without me.

Alice told me it'd be better if I didn't come along so it didn't seem like we were teaming up on her. I agreed because it was true.

And now I was standing in front of Bella's door, like an underage teen who'd just come home from one long ass night of drinking, nervous as hell and afraid of what could be waiting behind the goddamned door. Furious Bella, I can handle. Hyper Bella, fine.

But, Sad Bella, fuck. Sad-because-Jasper-is-an-inconsiderate-moron Bella, fuuuuuck.

If one thing could make me feel like a total dick, it'd be Jezebels' tears. She's been my best friend since I was seventeen years old, and the only thing she'd ever asked of me is that I be honest with her at all times. That's it. That's it! And I couldn't even do that!

I slammed my head on the wall opposite her door. What in the world was I even hoping to accomplish by being all secretive? With a sigh, I let my knuckles rest against her door without actually knocking. Jezebels had every right to be mad. Every reason to hate me. And even though she pretty much had my permission to be pissed, I couldn't stomach the thought. Couldn't stomach the thought of her slamming the door in my face as I begged for her to forgive me.

The one thing I wanted was for Bella and I to stay friends. I never meant to hurt her. I was actually trying to prevent that, but look. Look! God.

I kept sighing, and almost knocking, and slamming, and debating, and then sighing again. I quickly thought that maybe it would have been better if I came with another peace offering, but I didn't think my pride would handle it too well if she ended up throwing the flowers back in my face because of the asshat that I am.

Suck it up, Jasper. Suck. It. Up.

The voice in the back of my head that was telling me to man-the-fuck-up won as I inserted my spare key into the lock. If Jezebels wasn't home, I'd leave her a note. Part of me was actually kind of hoping she wasn't home, but I threw that thought away because then I'd still be a coward.

And I didn't want to be a coward.

Her place was quiet and when I looked over into the kitchen, I saw the wildflowers sitting in a vase on her counter. I smiled because she didn't throw them away like I thought she would. It made me curious as to whether or not she kept the cupcakes, so I sauntered over to her fridge to see for myself.

"What the hell!" A loud shriek came from the other side of the room and before I could register what in the hell was going on, a hairdryer came in contact with the back of my head. "Get out!"

I groaned and rubbed the back of my head, turning to Bella to let her know it was just me and not some random burglar trying to steal her appliances because, well, that's pretty much all she had in her kitchen. "It's just me, Jezebels!" I defended.

She screamed again as I turned to her while she covered herself up. "I know! Why are you here? Why didn't you knock?"

I arched a brow, catching a glimpse of what was underneath her robe. "What are you wearing?"

Her face turned red with anger as she fumed, "Excuse me?"

With a sigh, I pointed to the purple lingerie set she had on. I remembered going with her and Alice when they bought it because they made me hold the bags. I tried not to picture how Alice would look in a Victoria's Secret get-up because it was too much of a distraction, and I really didn't want Jezebels thinking I was a pervert who got off seeing his best friend half naked. "That. Why are you wearing that? Tell me you're planning to put more on?"

Bella huffed and threw the slipper on her foot at me, but I caught it. "Are you kidding me?! My hair is wet, I threw a hairdryer at you, and I'm in my underwear. Did you ever think that maybe I was getting ready to go out or something? Now, leave!"

While I stood there trying to figure out where she could be going and who she could be going with to wear something like that underneath, she clunked me in the head with her other slipper. "Jezebels, calm down! Stop throwing shit at me!"

She crossed her arms and stared at me angrily. Ah, fuck. I thought I could handle Furious Bella, but she was scary as hell when she got pissed off.

I ducked when a book I bought her a few years ago came flying my way.

And apparently, she liked to throw things.

It kind of hurt me that she threw it because she was in love with it when I first got it for her. It was a first edition, too. But given the situation and the hole I had dug myself into, I guess I understood where she was coming from.

"You come into my apartment without knocking, look through my fridge without permission, see me in my underwear, proceed to ask me why I'm wearing underwear, and you're telling me to calm down?" Bella spat, tying her robe at the waist so she could place her hands on her hips. "And don't even get me started on that one-year shit, Jasper Whitlock!"

"That's what I came here to talk to you about," I said.

"Then don't ask me why I'm wearing this if you came to talk to me about something else!" she yelled, throwing her key-holding little dish thing at me. "Speaking of which, you are a fucking prick. The biggest asshole ever! Do you know that?"

"Yes, I am. You're right." She was right. There was no better way to describe me for doing what I did. "And I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? You're sorry?!" Bella grabbed a bigger book and hurled it at my shoulder. Then, she tossed a paperweight that was in the shape of a heart and that she and Alice had gotten on sale. I made a reminder to myself to sign her up for a kickboxing class to channel all her anger towards. "I thought it was Alice. I seriously thought it was her. I never would have imagined you would be the one to start all this."

I held my hands up in defense as soon as she grabbed the next closest thing to her. It was a picture frame with a picture of her and I in it, and I knew that if that hit me in the head, it would hurt. "I did it because I didn't want to hurt you. I thought that if you found out Alice and I were dating, it would change things between the three of us. It's not just you we didn't tell, Jezebels, we didn't tell anyone."

She threw the frame before I could duck, and it hit me in the area right between my eyes. I was right, too. It fucking hurt! I groaned and tried to relieve some of the ache by massaging the throbbing skin. "Jez-"

"Why do you guys keep saying that? We didn't want to hurt you," she mocked. "The hell? You think this is any better? Me finding out the way I did, was that what you wanted?"

"No!" I barely dodged the remote control she hurled my way.

"Did you think the flowers and cupcakes would make me feel better, Jasper? They made me feel worse! It was just a reminder of how much you know about me, but how little you understand my emotions. How could you think that by hiding it, it'd hurt me less? Even if you told me a week after, days after, it still would have hurt all the same. We're best friends. Best friends don't do that to each other!"

She shook her head and continued. "God, eight years, Jasper! We've been friends for eight years. Never once, never once did we keep anything from each other. You are an ass!"

I hadn't even noticed that in the time she was yelling, she had moved closer to where I was standing. Her eyes were beginning to tear up and, Jesus Christ, I felt horrible all over again. I would have rather had her throw every single goddamn thing in her apartment at me than to see her cry over something that I did.

I reached out to her, to hold her so I could repeat over and over how sorry I was, but she slapped my hands away.

And she wasn't Sad Bella anymore.

Her hand came at me full force and took me by complete surprise. I blinked in shock, and the rising sting of where her palm collided with my cheek began to throb. My best friend just slapped me. She's never slapped me, ever. I chanced a glance into her eyes and saw no tears. Every trace of sadness had vanished within those few seconds and was replaced with fury.

"The whole story," Bella glared at me. "Give me your side of the whole story."

"Starting from?"

"From the beginning. From when I first introduced you to Alice. The truth this time, Jasper."

So, I told her. I told her how attracted I was to Alice the first time I laid eyes on her. How she was the complete opposite of what I'd ever go for but couldn't help myself anyway. I told Bella how I couldn't keep it to myself anymore after a while, and how I ended up asking Alice to be my girlfriend. How it was entirely my fault that this was hidden because Alice actually wanted to get it out there. I told her my intentions seemed good at the time because I didn't ever consider how it'd be if we got caught in the lie. We had always planned to tell her, but it just kept getting pushed aside. I told Bella I never wanted to hurt her. That that was the very last thing I ever wanted to do.

And when I finally looked back at her instead of at the floor or the wall, my heart dropped into my stomach.

The tears had come back, and her bottom lip was stuck between her teeth, her fists clenched. Oh, god. I had a feeling she was going to punch me for keeping my feelings about Alice a secret, too. It's not that I wanted to hide it from Jezebels, it's just that it was something I kept to myself for a while to avoid ruining anything between the three of us. Bad decision? Probably. "Jezebels-"

And then she became my biggest fear.

She was Sad Bella and Furious Bella at the same time. With a huff of annoyance, she grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and smacked me in the face with it. I yelled out in slight pain because Alice just had to pick those firm throw pillows for her since they matched instead of comfortable ones that didn't.

"God, men are so stupid!" Bella spat with watery eyes as she threw a pair of shoes at me. "You don't understand anything about anything!"

I began to panic when she grabbed a potted plant off the top of her bookshelf because if she threw that at me, I'm pretty sure I'd end up with one hell of a bruise and possibly even be hospitalized for a concussion. "Isabella, put that down."

She raised a brow and gripped the pot tighter. "You never call me Isabella."

"Because you've never threatened to throw a potted plant at my face!"

"Because you've never lied to me before now!"

Again, I felt my heart pang at the pain I heard in her voice. This wasn't about plants, or what she was throwing, or even me dating Alice. This was about our friendship, and how badly I just might have screwed things up because of the decisions I made. I wish I could go back in time and redo everything all over again. I never meant to hurt her. I never, ever wanted to.

But, that's exactly what I did.

There was no one to blame, no one to point the finger at, except myself.

The one person I promised I would never let down was the one person I disappointed the most.

And, that tore me up inside because nobody deserved that.

Jezebels, more than anyone, didn't deserve any of that.

"So, what, not only did you lie to me for a year about your guys' relationship, but you also lied to me for four because you never even told me you had feelings for her!"

Shit. I didn't even realize that. God, could I be any more of a dick? "I'm so sorry, Bella." I didn't know what else to say.

That seemed to piss her off, and she hurled the pot directly at me. I ducked in the nick of time and heard it smash against the wall, and surprisingly, a chuckle right after.

I turned to where the plant had been thrown and realized Edward was standing in the doorway where I'd left it wide open.

His green eyes shifted between the broken pot and the scattered things Bella had thrown. "Did I pick a bad time?"

.

.

Edward Cullen

Normally, I'd wait for Bella outside her apartment building because I wasn't sure how she'd react if I went and picked her up at her actual room. But the part of me that was eager to see her demanded I surprise her with something out of the ordinary - myself.

I ended up stopping by Cupcake Royale so I didn't show up empty handed. I know I should have gotten her flowers or chocolates, but I was slightly rusty at the wooing a woman thing, and didn't want her to think I was trying to replace Jasper or something.

There were a variety of cupcakes to choose from, and even though I knew she most likely still had leftovers, I wanted her to know Jasper wasn't the only guy who could make an effort to impress her. Instead of a dozen, I decided to get her just one. I thought carefully and after minutes of deliberation, I went with a Triple Threat cupcake. I'm not sure which flavor was her favorite, but at least she would know I tried.

The cashier placed the cupcake in a small, pink box with their logo sticker to use as a seal, and I was off. As I drove in silence to Bella's apartment, I couldn't help the curiosity coursing through me as I thought about what could have possibly been said between her and my sister.

More than anything, I wanted to know why Alice and Jasper kept it from her. Too many theories were forming in my head, so I pushed them aside. The only way I'd find out was if either of the girls told me, and that was just a topic one shouldn't be nosy about. If they wanted to tell me, they would.

I walked up the stairs with Bella's single cupcake in hand as I tried to recall which room was hers. It was dark the last time I had walked through this same hallway, so it was a bit more difficult to remember.

"Speaking of which, you are a fucking prick. The biggest asshole ever! Do you know that?"

I arched a brow at the voice that I instantly recognized as Bella's. She sounded pissed - beyond pissed, actually.

"You're sorry?!"

Yikes. She was definitely tearing a new one into whoever it was she was on the phone with. It made me wonder if it was Alice. Things seemed fine, but then again, things can happen.

Her door was wide open, and I contemplated whether or not I should walk in or just wait by the door. Then, I heard a crash against something and immediately worried about whether or not she was alright. Without hesitation, I ran to her door and peered inside, my jaw nearly dropping to the floor at what I was seeing.

Bella was definitely pissed off. I didn't even hear Jasper before and couldn't comprehend what she was screaming as she threw a pair of shoes at him because... wow. I wanted to look away and respect her privacy, but with what she was wearing - or, not wearing, rather - it just wasn't possible.

Her silky-looking, white robe had fallen open, giving me view of her lingerie-clad body. The purple bra hugged her upper curves divinely and the lacy panties let me have access to a good look at her long, bare legs. When my perverted eyes finally managed to make their way back to her heated face, I noticed she was flushed and her hair was damp and fanned across her shoulders.

Which brought another visual to my head. Bella just getting out of the shower. Bella in the shower. Bella in the shower with me. Bella in the shower with me as our -

Fuck! No, no, NO.

Five-minute Edward was coming back, and it took every bit of my willpower to avert my eyes and think of anything and everything that was not sexy to placate my raging desire. I thought of those guys at the gym who were confident enough to run shirtless with beer bellies. I thought of that one secretary back in Chicago who tried to seduce me with lipstick on her teeth. I thought of those girls who kissed like they were vacuums. I thought of Emmett lifting weights. I thought of Alice shopping.

Phew.

I flinched when she threw the potted plant against the wall and tried hard not to laugh out loud at the look on Jasper's face. He looked so terribly afraid of this woman who was so much smaller than him, and it really was freaking hilarious. It was a failed attempt on my part, and I ended up chuckling loud enough for each of them to hear.

When they both turned to me shocked, I looked at the broken pot and then at the books on the floor. "Did I pick a bad time?"

"Does my apartment just scream break and enter? Does anyone ever knock anymore?" Bella sighed angrily, crossing her arms.

"The door was already wide open, so does that count as breaking and entering?" I asked.

Jasper furrowed his brows at me before turning back to an infuriated Bella. "Jezebels, I think you should go put something on."

And then Bella's anger melted away and was replaced with shyness. She squeaked and pulled her robe together before shuffling to her room as I smiled to myself. Fucking adorable.

With a laugh, I picked up some of the books on the floor. "Jesus, what happened?" I stood up at the same time he did and saw a huge red mark in the space between his eyebrows and his forehead. "Ouch."

"I've never seen her that pissed off," Jasper sighed with a shake of his head.

"Well, what exactly did you say that pissed her off so much?"

He rubbed the reddened skin and picked up the now broken picture frame I'm assuming Bella hurled at him. "I told her everything. I said I was sorry about keeping it a secret and because I didn't want any more between us, I told her that I've also had feelings for your sister since I first met her."

The heart-shaped paperweight and the key dish fell out of my hands and back to the floor as I registered what he had just told me. "Wait a minute. You've had feelings for Alice for, what like, four years? And you never told Bella?"

Jasper looked over at me with a sad smile and once again shook his head. "Stupid, right?"

"Hell yeah it was stupid!"

He arched a brow at the tone I was using as he set the remote control back on the coffee table. "I apologized."

God, if only he knew... Why in the name of fuck would he tell her something like that? I shook my head and tried to calm down. Jasper didn't know anything about Bella's feelings. He was so blind to what was right in front of him it was sickening. I wanted to grab him and shake him and tell him he was the reason why I couldn't take Bella out on real dates, the reason why I held back so much with her. She wasn't ready for that, and it was all because of this complicated ass circle between him, her, and my sister.

"Just because you apologized to her, doesn't mean everything is okay again."

Jasper slammed the book onto her coffee table a little too hard. "What exactly would you know about Jezebels anyway? You haven't even know her that long. What, like, two weeks and already you're some kind of an expert with her feelings?"

"Ha, if only you knew," I muttered quietly, wary of the broken glass on the floor.

"What was that?" he questioned. "You may know women, Edward, but you don't know Bella the way I do. So don't piss me off by trying to act like you know her better."

I turned to him, eager to maintain my anger because the last thing I wanted was to piss Bella off further. "I never said I knew Bella better than you did. If you would just open your eyes, maybe you could understand where I'm coming from."

Jasper squinted his grayish-blue eyes at me, and I briefly wondered if I had just blown Bella's entire story. Fuck. Fuck!

"Alice swears up and down that you and Jezebels would be good together, but I just don't see it." He laughed humorlessly. "At least I was honest with her even though it pissed her off."

Calm down, Edward. Calm down. This is your sister's fiancé. Bella's best friend. Calm. The. Fuck. Down.

"You've gone out with her how many times now, and I'm guessing you haven't said one word about how many women you've messed around with. Five-minute Edward, right? I've heard the stories. If it's in your past, why can't you tell her?"

"Look-"

"And what about Tanya Denali? Did you forget she's here in Seattle? Ever tell Jezebels about that?"

I saw red as soon as that name fell from his lips and as I was about to tear him a new one myself, Bella's bedroom door opened. She came out in a dark green, fitted, Seattle U sweater and jeans as she eyed the both of us carefully.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

"No," we both answered in unison. I shot a glare at Jasper and wondered about whether or not he'd be enough of an ass to tell her himself. I was planning to tell Bella as soon as everything with Jasper blew over.

"Jasper, why are you still here?" Bella questioned, straightening out the items atop the coffee table. "You should have already been gone."

"Jezebels, I said I was sorry. Please-"

I flinched when she reflexively threw whatever it was she was holding at Jasper.

"That is the problem with you men," she seethed. "You think that just because you can say you're sorry that everything will go back to normal. That we can act like this never happened just because you tore your nuts off for one quick second to let me know you feel bad about what you did. Let me put it this way: I accept your apology, but you are not forgiven."

The aroma that smelled so much like Bella filled the room. That's when I realized it was a perfume bottle, of all things, she had thrown at Jasper. It opened when it knocked him in the chest and fell to the floor where it broke into a mess of shattered glass.

Jasper wiped at his now dampened shirt and groaned. "I get it, you want me to leave. I'm sorry, Jezebels. Really, I am." He shot me a quick, daggered glare that I'm sure Bella didn't quite catch. "Call me later, if you want."

We watched as he avoided the mess on the floor and exited while closing the door behind him.

Bella let out a heavy sigh and plopped herself down onto the couch, burying her face in her hands as she groaned in aggravation. "I'm sorry, Edward. For everything. I didn't mean for you to see all of that."

"What, you mean you and your purple panties?" I chuckled as she blushed more than I'd ever seen before. "Don't ever apologize for being in lingerie. I quite enjoyed that."

"You just saw me have the biggest fight I've ever had with my best friend of eight years, and all you can think about is my underwear?" Bella laughed before burying her face in her hands again. "I'm so embarrassed."

I tried to get a grip on the desperate side of me that was so turned on by angry, lingerie-clad Bella. Then, I remembered my small gift for her that was sitting on the table where she wasn't looking. I grabbed the pink box and sat down on the couch next to her, nudging her with my elbow. "You know, I got something for you before I came here."

"I hate gifts," she replied simply, her face still lost beneath her palms.

"It's a small one," I chuckled, poking her lightly with the edge of the box. "Cost me less than five bucks."

Bella sighed and arched a brow once she saw the Cupcake Royale box. "I have plenty left, you know."

"I know," I agreed. "But I also know that you like them and wanted to prove that Jasper's not the only guy who's capable of getting you something nice."

She laughed and opened the box, blinking in silence at what was inside. "You cheater."

"What?"

"You totally cheated!"

I was genuinely confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You asked Jasper and Alice what my favorite kind was, didn't you?"

I smiled to myself. "Is that your favorite?"

"Yes."

"I guessed all on my own. I swear."

With an authentic grin, she shook her head and swiped her finger across the top of the Triple Threat cupcake, popping it into her mouth as she sighed contentedly. "I love the frosting. It's the best part."

She wasn't exactly making it easy for me. I looked away because I knew if I continued to ogle her, I'd end up shoving her down and ravaging her on the very couch we were sitting on.

We couldn't have that. I mean, I wanted that, but we couldn't have that.

I stood up and focused on all the unsexy things my mind had come up with prior to her licking the frosting. "Ready to go?"


Bella told me the entire story of how it went with Alice the previous night and how she handled things with Jasper right before I walked in. In all honesty, I thought it would have been the other way around. I figured she'd go Bitchy Swan on Alice and then cut Jasper some slack because, well, she was in love with the guy.

I still couldn't believe he'd never once told Bella about how he was attracted to Alice from the very beginning. I'm sure if he told her that, or if Alice brought it up, Bella would have gotten over it so much easier. My eyes rolled involuntarily at his blindness.

"You look like you clocked him pretty good though. You see his forehead?"

Bella cringed slightly. "I feel kind of bad about that one. I threw a picture of us at his face." She shoved a forkful of romaine lettuce into her mouth before chewing it and swallowing it down. "And the perfume bottle I threw at him... I really liked it. I wish I hadn't wasted it."

I laughed and took a bite from the huge burger I ordered. "I never thought you'd actually throw so much at him. You should have seen his face. It was pretty hilarious."

"I didn't mean to. But, I walked out of my room and there he was snooping through my fridge. And, I had just gotten out of the shower! I had a reason to panic, didn't I?"

Bella just getting out of the shower... Bella in the shower...

"Edward?"

Bella in the shower with me... Bella in the shower with me as our bodies caress up against one another -

"Edward."

I snapped out of my shower visual and internally cursed myself for letting my perverted thoughts get the best of me, again. I took another big bite of my burger and focused on the unsexy thoughts I was getting so sick of. "Yeah, I think today's a nice day, too."

She arched a brow at me. "What are you talking about?"

"Didn't you say you liked the weather today?"

"No," Bella snorted and laughed. "I was saying I had a reason to panic when Jasper waltzed in unannounced."

Fuck. "Sorry, this burger is sending my brain elsewhere."

"Uh huh."

I tried to get our conversation back to the point it was at before I started hallucinating inappropriate images, and we ended up talking just as easily and as casually as we always did. When the bill came around, the waitress automatically handed it to me, much to Bella's dismay. I paid for both our meals and decided to go back to her place to work on the save-the-dates since my apartment was still a cluttered mess of unopened boxes and such.

When we were in the car, I brought up Jasper again. "So, why didn't you just tell him? Maybe if you told him, things would be easier."

Bella turned to me, apparently flabbergasted by my suggestion. "Tell Jasper I was secretly in love with him for eight years? And then what, Edward? I mean, even if Jasper did feel the same way, that means Alice would call off the entire wedding. There is no way I'm going to have that riding on my shoulders."

I put on my left turn signal and waited for the stoplight to turn green. "Well, what if he didn't feel that way? Wouldn't it at least be relieving for you to tell him and just have him know?"

She was quiet and all that could be heard was the clicking sound of my blinker. I was about to apologize when she spoke up again.

"I just... don't think I can handle him saying something like 'I love you, but...', you know?" She shook her head. "Or, 'That is flattering, but...'. I guess you could just say I'm a coward."

I cringed at her thinking she was a coward of all things. "Bella, you are anything but a coward. Do you know how hard it would be for someone to do what you're doing right now? The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else. And you do it every single day without breaking down in front of them because you care so much."

From my peripherals, I could see Bella turn to me as I kept my focus on the road ahead. "You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You staying in the wedding regardless of everything that's happened proves that more than anything."

Her eyes softened once I finally made eye contact with her, and she gave me a sad smile. "Thank you. I wish I saw myself the way you do."

"I wish you saw yourself the way I see you, too."

There was a sudden change in the atmosphere inside my Volvo. A change that I wasn't sure either of us was ready for. I hated the thought of ruining the moment, but I had to. "I still think you should tell him."

She rolled her eyes and turned up the radio. "Thanks, but no thanks."

"Want me to tell him for you?"

"No!" Bella immediately answered. "Then he'll just be all pissy that I told you and not him first!"

"You didn't tell me. I found out on my own, remember?"

Her brows furrowed. "Smart ass."

"Thanks. I graduated from Northwestern with a 3.8."

She hit me playfully with a snort. "I didn't ask."

We stopped by my parent's house to pick up the list of names we were to write on the envelopes from Alice. She insisted on helping, but I denied because that would interrupt the time I wanted with Bella. It wouldn't be too hard of a task anyway. All we had to do was write the names and addresses on the envelopes and fold the save-the-dates where the creases were. Easy enough. When Alice asked how I was planning on doing it all on my own since she didn't know Bella was going to help, I simply gave her my crooked grin and told her I had it covered.

"You know," I started as I climbed back into the car. "These could be your save-the-dates if you just spoke up."

"Are you insisting on me ruining your sister's wedding, Edward Cullen?"

"I'm merely suggesting you make Jasper aware of your feelings for him, Isabella Swan."

"It would ruin everything."

"You don't know that."

"You don't know that," she repeated.

"That's why you should just tell him. Then we'll both find out."

Her brows furrowed as we continued our stare down in the driveway of Carlisle and Esme's place. "Stop telling me to tell him."

"Make me," I said sweetly.

Then her lips made this cute little pout, and I wanted more than anything to grab her face and kiss her because I was still having a difficult time trying to push those shower-induced thoughts from my head. Get it together, Cullen!

"You are definitely related to Alice," she sighed.

"Oh? What makes you say that?"

"You're both so stubborn."

"I wouldn't be stubborn if you would just tell Jasper how you feel so I stop wondering."

"Would you stop? It's starting to get on my nerves."

"You should kiss me then. That would shut me up, wouldn't it?" Fuck! FUCK. The words came out before I could get my brain filter to work, and I immediately regretted them. I parked on the curb and stayed where I was until Bella made it clear that I was still invited into her apartment.

"You surprise me more and more every day, Edward," Bella laughed as she climbed out of the car. And I thanked all that was holy for her brushing it off as if it were nothing. Last thing I wanted to do was ruin any slim chance I might have had because of my hormones.

Together, we walked up the flight of stairs while I continued to poke jabs at her about Jasper. She just kept shaking her head and giggling, so I knew she wasn't mad in the slightest bit. Maybe I could actually go somewhere with this if I tried hard enough.

"Did you ever think that you were being somewhat of a hypocrite? You fault Alice and Jasper for lying to you, but you're doing the same thing right back."

She huffed. "If I blurted it out, what good would that bring any of us?"

"Closure, perhaps?" I insisted, knowing I was pushing her buttons.

"Edward, please, just stop. I don't want to think about it, and it'd really help if you just stopped berating me to get it out there."

Time to try again. "That's why I was saying, you know, if you give me a kiss, I'll stop. I won't disappoint you. I'm a good kisser, remember?"

Bella shrugged. "I wouldn't know."

"Then, don't you want to find out?"

She turned to me with slightly flushed cheeks, and that alone gave me my answer. It didn't matter that she couldn't say yes, or that she wouldn't admit to it. All that mattered was that she fucking blushed at the thought of kissing me, and that definitely meant something.

"You're blushing. You want to kiss me," I laughed.

Her hand fumbled with her keys as she tried to get the door to her apartment open. "I'm not blushing, it's just a little warm."

"Because I'm here?"

She shoved her door open and stepped inside as I followed right after. "You know, you are the only Cullen who can make me laugh one second and then have me insanely pissed off the next," Bella poked her finger into my chest. "It's a wonder. You should be so proud of yourself."

"I am," I replied with a crooked grin, finding it humorous when she huffed in annoyance. "Didn't I tell you? I live to aggravate Bella Swan. Is it working? Are you going to tell him?"

She threw her hands into the air and screamed in frustration. "If I fucking kiss you, will you shut up and just let it go?"

I considered it for a moment. "It has to be a good kiss."

"Why does it matter anyway? A kiss is a kiss."

"I'm not letting you off that easily, Swan. You could easily barely peck my lips, and the deal would be settled. I'm talking a full-on kiss that you have to let me initiate."

"And then you'll shut up about the Jasper thing?" Her brows furrowed, and I knew she was giving in. Hell, yeah.

"Yes, I'll shut up. But it has to be an actual kiss."

"You and I haven't even hugged, and you all of a sudden want me to kiss you?"

Taking her by surprise, I wrapped my arms around her and held her close, inhaling her strawberry-scented hair that made the shower visuals come rushing back. "There. We hugged."

"Why are you so eager to kiss me anyway?"

I shrugged. "Maybe I like your lips."

She stared at me with that same blush growing into an even darker shade of red. "We haven't even known each other that long."

"I'm not asking for anything more than a kiss," I offered innocently. "People go to clubs and kiss people they've only known for two minutes. You and I have known each other for half of a month. I have a point, do I not?"

Her fingers went up to her temples as she massaged them because of the aggravation that I'm sure I was causing her. "I don't think I'm a good kisser."

"But, I am. Just one kiss, Bella. And then I'll shut up."

She contemplated her thoughts for a minute, rocking back and forth on her heels before heaving a sigh of defeat. I tried to contain the urge to grin like a madman once she dropped her hands at her sides and looked up at me with her big brown eyes. "...Fine, Edward. You win."

All was silent as we stood together in Bella's hallway. I could tell she just wanted to get it over with, so I made the first move and cradled her heart-shaped face between my hands, noticing she let out a breath I didn't even realize she was holding.

"It's only a kiss, Bella," I whispered, moving my face an inch closer to hers. "And then I'll stop nagging you about Jasper."

"Thank god," she breathed with a laugh, smiling up at me. "Though I'm sure you definitely enjoy it, Mr. I-live-to-aggravate-Bella-Swan."

"Hey, whatever works right?"

"Will you just get it over with?"

I laughed at her impatience and closed the distance between us, finally feeling her full, soft lips mold with my own. I would be the one in control of the kiss, I'd made that clear. After I got over the incredible feeling of her mouth simply pressed against mine, I moved my lips slowly, and she followed my lead. My head involuntarily tilted slightly to gain better access while my traitorous hand trailed down the length of her neck, stopping precisely at the back of it to push her a bit closer.

My other hand made its way to her waist as I gently sucked on her bottom lip, tasting the sweetness I craved without pushing it too far.

The kiss finally ended with me being at a loss for words and breath. She inhaled through her nose and sighed softly, pushing my shoulder lightly as she walked past me and into the kitchen. I stared at her retreating form in utter shock. Was she really not going to say anything about that fan-fucking-tastic kiss we had just shared, or did she just dislike it that much?

"Are you going to help me or not?" she called from the living room while waving those damned save-the-dates in the air.

She wasn't going to say anything.

I never really considered the fact that if I ever kissed her, she probably would only be thinking about one person who was definitely not me.

I was no Jasper.

It's not like part of the deal was for her to enjoy it. I just said it had to be a good kiss, which it was.

I wanted to believe that maybe Bella had some attraction towards me, but it really was very hard to tell with the way she acted. So instead of wracking my brain for an answer I knew I wouldn't figure out, I walked into the living room and sat beside her as we laid the envelopes and cards out.

The kiss wasn't mentioned again as we laughed and shared the cupcakes Jasper had given her while scribbling name after name in the comfort of her apartment. Like I promised, I shut up about her confessing and talked about everything but the wedding.

It took us longer than I thought because of how often we kept joking around about the names of the guests and their addresses. Someone once told me that if you ever were to be a porn star, you'd take the name of your first pet and stick it in front of your street name. So just for the hell of it, we thought up every friend's pet names we could think of to go with some of the addresses on the list.

"Tootsie Kyra," Bella held up the envelope, and we both laughed.

"Nemo Bourbon."

"Gigi Whipple."

I don't remember seeing Bella laugh that much, so I was glad to know our porn name jokes were able to make her feel better about her previous encounter with Jasper. After one too many hours and a hell of a lot of check-up calls from Alice, we were finally finished. I smiled in triumph at the stack of ready-to-send save-the-dates and grabbed them before I headed out the door.

Bella was nice enough to walk me out to the actual entrance of her apartment complex, rather than just her door or the elevator. We made it there all too soon, and it was time to call it a night and say goodbye. She stayed at her place on top of the three small steps that led to the apartment entrance, standing almost as tall as me.

"Well, Edward, I'm sure Alice and Jasper will be thrilled to find out their save-the-dates are all ready to be sent out."

"And of course, it's all thanks to me," I joked, chuckling when she punched my chest lightly. "Want me to let Alice know you helped?"

"I don't want her thinking she's off the hook," she said. "But you can tell her I supervised you."

"Done."

The both of us just kind of stood there before she cleared her throat and gave me a small wave. "Well, I had fun today, Edward. Thanks for cheering me up."

"My pleasure." I watched as she smiled and turned the other way to walk back into her building.

Do it, Edward!

Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Wait."

Bella turned her head slightly, arching a brow at my sudden demand. "What?"

I knew I should have just shut up and walked to my car because she was definitely going to say no. More than anything, I knew she was clearly still in love with Jasper and there was no reason for me to try and push her. She's going to say no. She's going to fucking say no.

But I asked anyway. "Can I," I paused, "kiss you goodnight?"

I'm not sure what I was expecting. Maybe another punch in the chest or more of her bickering at how much I was able to aggravate her. I expected her to laugh at me and tell me to go home. The answer I received was definitely not the answer I thought I'd get.

"Okay."


End of Chapter Nine


Author's Notes: *ponders* Hmmmm. Hmm. Anyone sense Edward falling for our ever so dearest Bella? Anyone sense that, maybe, this is where his angst will begin? Yes, I said it. Edward will have his own sense of heartfail in this story, too. It's not all about Bella. You see Tanya mentioned? She's a big reason why. Another big reason? Bella is not over Jasper, remember? It hurts me already to think of writing it in EPOV. I'd ask you all to comfort Beforeward for what's to come, but Erica called dibs a long time ago. Sorry! :P

Speaking of Erica, many thanks to her for giving me ideas of what to throw when in a living room pissed off, HAHAHA! She came up with the picture frame, the key holder, the paperweight, and the perfume. Isn't she brilliant? Yes, I think so, too. *dances*

I know Hello, Stranger hasn't been updated in 3+ weeks. I'm getting to that, really I am, I promise. I'm just going through... personal issues regarding it, but I haven't abandoned it. I promise, I haven't. Just be patient with me?

I'd love to hear from all of you. And, go check out the thread! I post up teasers, you know! The link is on my profile :)

-BB