Please Hold – Chapter Nine
Author's Note: Thanks to Ms. Harris – it's her school bus– I'm just taking it on a field trip.
Thanks to Ms. MerryCain for the beta. And away we go…
Interview day – getting to work…
Nan smiled, pulled up a chair, handed me a pen and laid out my lists in front of me.
"Alrighty then, let's start by going through the first day questions. We'll go back to the interview questions if there is time, otherwise I'll bring you up to speed tomorrow morning.
"Question one: Who is the exception to No Interruptions/No Exceptions? Well, you've already learned Ms. Ravenscroft, and that is an automatic always – once we get through the phone system tutorial, I'll teach you how to forward calls to his cell. For now, she'll have to call it directly if he is out of the office."
"Now, there are two other exceptions, but they will very clearly tell you that they want him interrupted when he is not available. Actually, everyone will say that, but the only ones you need to worry about unless told otherwise are the other senior partners – Stan Davis and Appius Livius Ocella.
"I like the corollary of this question much better and it's quite possibly more important. Mr. Northman might forgive a crossed wire with the other senior partners, but he absolutely will not take calls from Victor Madden. He's with the Narayana Group. Eric will take calls from Felipe De Castro, presuming he is available. If Victor Madden calls, you are to take a message. If he keeps calling, let Mr. Northman know after the third call, and redirect him to me or the legal department for calls beyond that. Do you have any questions?" She gave me a cold look; I understood that this Victor Madden was definitely a persona non grata.
"I'm sure I will, but I understand the idea for now." I nodded, scribbling a few notes:
PR – Always
SD & ALO – when requested
Victor Madden – NEVER (de Castro is ok)
"And you show your practical side with question two." Nan may have suppressed a snort. "You have already learned that the staff bathrooms are through the break room. The public facilities are on either side of the elevators. By the way, the one on the right is for the whole building, and once the accounting firm on six is finished with its renovations, you'll be expected to use the main elevator. The offices here each have a three quarters bath. Ms. Ravenscroft keeps several items here in case of emergency – should you need it, help yourself." She pointed to the office across from us.
"Ms. Ravenscroft will be here next Tuesday, and I'm sure she'll explain her philosophies on the importance of proper attire, but to sum it up, for female employees, we fall somewhere between formal business dress and business casual. Ms. Ravenscroft calls it Smart Dress." She gave me a conspiratorial look and leaned closer. "This next part is not part of company policy, but you're smart and I like you, so I'll tell you some of my observations if you like."
"Yes, please!" I squeaked.
"Mr. Northman is very professional, but I think he prefers ladies to wear dresses more than anything. Nothing too short, too low cut, or too revealing, mind you. Femininity is respected," She cleared her throat, "slutiness is not. Another tip: wear proper undergarments – they should fit and support, but not show. Ms. Ravenscroft will call you on VPLs." She paused and kind of looked me over – it wasn't checking me out, but almost. "I'm hoping that someone as buxom as you knows better than to go without a bra. And I would think that sleeveless shirts are a no-no, except in the hottest part of summer, when the air-conditioning quits, then all bets are off and all meetings are held in the neighboring hotel. As for casual Friday - khakis, never jeans. Occasionally there are exceptions – like when one of our storage warehouses was flooded – then you wear what you need to for the job – I spent most of that fall in jeans ironing documents then scanning them while in that aluminum clad file depository. I have a new image of hell and I don't want to wear jeans to work again anytime soon." I laughed with her on that one – remembering having to help Sam clean up after a small electrical fire had burned a corner of the dining room when an old neon beer sign sparked a fire. Nan continued, "Also, a makeover with Ms. Ravenscroft has been compared to boot camp by some of our ex-military personnel. Having said that – she is a shopper and she loves it. You have a different figure from hers – I can see her sending you clothes – please just accept them with grace. It is NOT worth the argument and you won't be able to return it to her anyhow – unless it doesn't fit. If it doesn't fit, let me know. Ms. Ravenscroft incorrectly assessing a lady's dress sign may be the first sign of the apocalypse.
"'Number four: Who is a good person to ask small questions?' It depends Sookie – I'm happy to answer small questions like 'What's the international prefix for dialing Rome?' or 'Where do we keep the toner?' Questions like 'Where's a good place to get a pedicure and still get back from lunch on time?' might be better for Ginger or one of the girls in main reception. I'm sure you'll figure it out."
I nodded – I had a feeling I would be asking Nan more questions than anyone else.
"The door next to the kitchen/break room is our work room – there is a copier, fax machine, and the most frequently used files. Big copier jobs are done by Ginger – I'll get her to show you the forms for set up. Be detailed and complete with it. I find making her a sample of what I want usually helps.
"Moving on to question six: 'Who do I contact in technical services for account set up?' Well, for initial set up…" The elevator on the right dinged and the doors whooshed open. "Speak of the devil, Mr. Russell Edgington in the flesh." Nan stood up, smiling at our visitor. A small man – he was at least an inch shorter than me if we were both bare foot – had waltzed into the room. He had espresso brown eyes and vivid red hair. He was well put together, polite, and he lit up what Lafayette called my 'gaydar' like a Boeing 747.
"Should my ears be burning Miss Nan? Have you been telling stories?"
Nan stood and put her hands on my shoulders. "This is Ms. Sookie Stackhouse. She's Mr. Northman's new assistant – she was just asking who could get her set up on our system – she also had a few other questions."
"Well, Little Miss Thang, let's get you rockin and rollin. Get up – I need to drive to get this set up." His drawl made me smile as I popped out of my chair to stand behind him. At least he was polite about it – I hate the lean-over take-over that some IT guys do. "Miss Nan – Eric promised me a beer for getting this all set up. Could I trouble you to…"
"Already on it Russell. You just get to work and I'll go grab your liquid reward." She disappeared into the staff break area.
"So, Rose, what're your questions?" Russell neither looked up nor blinked – he was in the geek tech zone – the keyboard was rattling and he was clicking through screens faster than I could think 'Jack Robinson'.
"Umm..Uhh…Rose?" That was not my question, but I seemed to be stuck in automatic brain-to-mouth mode right now.
"You're clearly an untended rose in the garden of humanity."He answered as if it was a matter of fact.
I stuttered again briefly then finally looked at my list so I wasn't mesmerized by the superfast tech wizardry. "I wondered what font and point size I'm supposed to use – are you standardized here? Oh and is there someone I can call if I run into a silly problem – you know, like where to save multi-user files to. And who do I crawl to on bended knee if I manage to make the network implode – or something else real bad?"
"Sans Serif – go with Verdana, Serif –Georgia. Use at least 11 point – but I find for email 13 or 14 is best. I'm only an email away – I'd rather you send it to me than end up like your predecessor. I'll be your Man Friday – just like Robinson Crusoe." He winked at me.
I laughed then asked, "My predecessor? I haven't heard her story yet." Russell paused and turned back to look at me thoughtfully. Nan appeared with an Amber Bock bottle and a frosty cold mug.
"You might as well tell her, Russell. You opened the can of worms."
"Well, Lorena – Lorena Ball, that is, was Eric's former secretary. She chose to resign, mind you, no one here made her – at least no one with any authority – or tact for that matter. She got involved with one of my programmers, I'm sorry to say. Bill Compton is a hard worker, but an idiot at times. They are a match though – she's in the family way with him. It seems that they decided together that she should stay home and raise the child." I raised my eyebrows trying to think of something tactful to say.
Russell looked up at me, "Yes, exactly. Well, sit back down in the driver's seat little lady, let's take a ride." He stood up, holding the chair out for me, scooting it in as I sat. He slowly walked me through the steps for email – helping me set up my two accounts – internal and external. I was S Stackhouse at RNDC dot com for external emails. I'd even be listed on the corporate website. Internally, my email was Sookie S at RNDC dot com. Stan explained, "Most of the employees will use the SStackhouse account, but it is helpful to have the second account for internal dialogue. Let's program your primary contacts on the internal account. I've already put myself in – now click the address book to add more."
Obediently, I clicked. "Ok – you'll need Miriam – That's Miriam E at RNDC, she's Pam's assistant, of course Pam R – although she'll usually just send things straight to Eric, she will cc you if she needs you to get something. Now Barry H – Stan's assistant, along with Stan D – he'll email you sometimes when he's ready to go off hold." I paused and gave him a confused look. "One thing at a time – you'll figure it out. Now, Alessandro R – that's Mr. Ocella's assistant. Halliegh R – the head of Human Resources, Nan F – executive office manager, and of course, your boss The Viking at RNDC." I looked up, obviously confused.
"The Viking?"
"Yes ma'am. The underscore Viking – that's his internal name – it's a nickname that's stuck since we took over Threadgill and Family a few years ago. 'All hail the conqueror!'" I blinked and turned back to the screen.
"What about Mr. Ocella? Shouldn't I have his email?"
"Mr. Ocella is a lot like Chuck Norris you know?" I gave a look that said I obviously didn't know.
"'Chuck Norris doesn't check his email. His email checks itself." Stan paused – waiting for a laugh. After an almost awkward moment, he hurried on, "Alessandro handles all of his communications – if you're directed to email him, send it to Alessandro's account. He's with him all the time these days. I would have thought it would wipe him out, but he seems younger every time I see him. Don't do anything now – I'll send out an introductory email. Now, give me your phone – I'll get everything set up and transferred – you have a close to unlimited package with us – I just need to put in this SIM card." He rattled on – holding up a Barbie sized card with a Sprint logo on it. I handed him my ancient phone – it weighed more than Tara's miniature Chihuahua and smelled about the same – I think she used to take naps on it before Tara passed it on to me.
Russell acted like I passed him a lead brick – feigning the heaviness of it. "Oh no, this is not compatible with our systems – hang on." He got up and walked to Mr. Northman's door. Knocking lightly, he strolled into the room. "We have to move you assistant out of the dark ages – I'm using one of your back up phones. I'll put in a p.o. for a new one in the morning." I couldn't see Mr. Northman, nor could I make out his rumbled reply. I watched Russell stride to a door – obviously a closet – grabbing a couple boxes off the top shelf. He turned and looked to me, "Red or black?"
"Uh, red." What? He tossed an iPhone box to me. Looking at the box I could tell it had a red skin.
"Don't worry – that one's not anywhere top of the line anymore. Eric went through a phase where he took out his aggression on his electronics…"
"I wasn't that bad – and half of them had it coming by acting defective." Mr. Northman bellowed from the depths of his office. Russell rolled his eyes,"so I always keep a couple backups around. Now – do you have an iTunes account?" I shook my head no, only to be on the receiving end of another eye roll. "I don't have time to teach you right now, but I'll email you to set up a tutorial next week. Stand up – let me drive again. I'll get this set up with the basics and that'll hold you until then."
As he merrily clicked away, I looked at Nan. She responded by picking up my list. "Number seven, I've scheduled for a physical next Monday at ten thirty. You already have coverage, but the insurance company requires you to be checked out within thirty days of hire. I'll give you the name of my o-b-g-y-n, he's very nice, but do your research and ask around. I'm going to assume you don't have a dire need for penicillin or ortho tri-cyclen, but just in case…" she handed me his card. I had gone on the pill years ago to help my cycle regulate and reduce cramps – now that I had good health insurance, you could bet your bottom dollar I'd be on it again. I fished my red wallet out of my bag and slipped the card inside it.
"Now, Rose, dear – you're all set up. Have you ever used an iPhone?" Russell, finished bewitching all the technology in sight, stood up, handing me the red jewel.
"Yes, my-my, Alcide had one. I can make calls with it."
"Good – now here's how you check email" – he showed me quickly. "You don't have to enter a password for that, but you do to unlock the phone. I've preprogrammed this one for you. It's seven six seven three zero four four seven seven."
I looked at him – my face clearly showing that I would never remember the number he'd rattled off like it was his birthday. I knew it couldn't be, but I had no idea what it was.
"Rose Hips" He smiled. "You know - the fruit of flowering roses. Only I used a zero instead of a space." I smiled – that I could remember.
"Thank you for your help today Mr. Edgington."
"It's Russell please – it was my pleasure." He took my hand and bowed over it. I giggled and curtsied. "See you around Rose." With that, he waltzed to the elevators and disappeared.
"Now – question eight – pet peeves. You really should learn these as you go, but I'll give you a few pointers. Ms. Ravenscroft is the fashion police, so don't be caught in violation if she's this side of the Mason-Dixon. Don't chew gum near Mr. Davis. Don't email or even call Mr. Ocella directly without a directive from a senior partner."
"And Mr. Northman?"
"Don't argue with him in front of others."
"Yes, those are wise words." His deep voice slid through my nerve endings. "If you have questions of me – ask me privately – even if it means you send me an impertinent text in the middle of a meeting." He smiled impishly.
"Nan – thank you for staying late. I'm sure Mr. Flanagan won't appreciate it if you are late. I'll go over security procedures with Ms. Stackhouse."
"Yes Sir – I'll be on call for you through the weekend – then I'll start Ms. Stackhouse in the rotation." On Call? My face must have mirrored my thoughts. Nan explained, "One of the assistants is always on call in the evenings. Usually it's a forty eight hour rotation – I'll explain more later. Ms. Earnest, Miriam, - Pam's assistant? – usually sets up the schedule, you'll get it ironed out next week I'm sure. Well have a good evening. Sookie, can I count on seeing you here between half seven and a quarter to eight?"
"Yes, of course."
"I'll see you both tomorrow then."
"Goodnight" I called, as she slipped into the elevator. Mr. Northman said "Goodbye Nan" at the same time. As the elevators dinged, I realized I was alone with my new boss. My nerve wrackingly handsome new boss. He turned and picked up the list. "So – onto number nine, Security. I'm very glad you are security conscious, especially in this city."
"What? Why?"
"New Orleans is the murder capitol of the country. It has the distinction of a higher per capita murder rate than the illustrious destinations of Detroit, New York, Los Angeles, Houston, and Miami." I considered this for a moment – my cousin was part of those statistics. Alcide was dead and that had happened in a nice 'safe' area – I could be paralyzed by this idea or I could move on and be prepared to live safely in the big city.
I took a deep breath. "Ok, then what security do you provide for personnel?"
"I'm so glad you asked. You have around the clock access to our permit only parking garage. The pedestrian entrances require a security badge. I'll be sure you have one tomorrow. I have a hang tag for you vehicle already. You will park in your designated space on the third level. In addition, we have two night security men here – Siegbart and Weighbart. If you leave after 5:30 or in the winter, after dark, one of them will escort you to your vehicle. You should not leave on foot alone after dark here – this isn't the ninth ward, but it's not Mayville either. There is a car service, but if need be, call a cab and charge it to the company. Nan will issue you a copy of corporate credit cards soon as well. Do you have mace or pepper spray?" I did – Alcide got me the kind that hooks to your key ring for when I had night classes at school.
"I do. I'm not stupid and I don't take foolish risks." I snapped. Wow, I must really want to win a land speed record from hired to fired. I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I appreciate you taking the time to tell me all this."
"I don't think you're stupid. I think you may not have all the facts – ignorance is bliss, until you're blindsided. I just want you to keep your eyes open Ms. Stackhouse. I'm sure Nan will go over keys and security codes and the like first thing tomorrow." His rapidly moving fingers on his phone made me think that she was probably getting a detailed message about just that. The longer we stood and talked, the more I realized how attractive he was, how tired I was, and how big the headache I had coming on was. "Now," he pushed a button and looked up, "Are you ready to go? It's been a long afternoon."
"Um yes, just let me –" I turned and scooped up my bag, sliding the new phone with all its paraphernalia inside along with its ancestor. I placed my portfolio inside as well then slipped out Amelia's keys and the clip on pepper spray from the neighboring pocket. I turned as I pulled it over my shoulder. I had a sneaking suspicion that he'd been watching me – maybe ogling. Maybe I was making mountains out of molehills. "Um I parked in the lot across the street. Do you think one of the security men could walk me out?"
"I'll walk you out – I'll get your parking pass issued on the way out." He offered his arm. "Shall we go?"
I sighed, took his arm and nodded. "Yes, let's go." He pushed the call button and led me inside. The bell dinged and we started our rapid descent. The soft music in the elevator was apparently piped throughout the main floor, it was just easier to hear once the office was mostly empty. I heard him murmur, "….falling star and put it in your pocket..." I smiled and ducked my head. He stopped immediately. "I'm sorry, the muzak people keep that one in heavy rotation it seems." He smiled. I just nodded and let him lead me back out to the main reception room and to the desk. Two large men, similar in build, looks, and dress stood up as he approached.
"Sigebert, Wybert ," He seemed to know who was which, but I'd be damned if you asked me to tell the difference between the two men. "This is Ms. Stackhouse. She is my new assistant. She needs a parking pass issued for tomorrow. I ask that you keep an eye out for her – I'm sure she'll be working long hours as she gets settled.
The one on the left grunted and pulled out a binder that held a ledger and a stack of parking hangtag and stickers. "Oh, I'm driving a friend's car right now – I also share a car with my grandmother. Do you think I could just take a hangtag for now?" He grunted again, turning the book around for me to fill out the little form, then turning it back around to copy down the pass number and hand it to me. I took it and slipped it in my bag as well. "Thank you kindly!" I smiled brightly. His mouth twitched and he grunted again, closing the binder. I just knew we'd be great friends – at least I kept the eye inside my brain.
"Is the badge camera working right now? We might as well have her get that out of the way too." Great – ID photos – the best part of a new job. When did I get so sarcastic? The other one nodded and walked to the door behind reception – not the big double doors, but a single that led to a workroom with a camera set up at one end facing the wonderful blue backdrop featured in school photos and drivers licenses everywhere. I signed and walked in front of the camera. I tried to put on that half smile pleasant look that if I hold too long twitches into a grimace. I heard the shutter click as the flash whirred. I was sure it was a grimace – oh well.
"They'll have to print it and send it to Russell so it will give you proper clearances on the right doors. I'm sure he'll bring it up sometime tomorrow. Most of the doors use a badge lock now – you'll have a set of mechanical keys, but that can wait for tomorrow as well." Mr. Northman explained on the way out of reception, heading for the public lobby of the building. As we approached the exit, he looked back – I suppose to make sure the office doors were closed. "They're not big talkers, but they've prevented a lot of incidents and do a great job of protecting our employees and assets here." I nodded.
I pointed to Amelia's mustang as we waited for the light in the crosswalk. I had been distracted by the muzak and the security procedures, but now I realized that I was feeling awfully tingly after touching just his arm for a while. I felt a slight wave of sick and guilt but took a deep breath and pushed it down. There has never been any harm in looking, after all, and he's my boss – never gonna happen. I pushed down the thought that Alcide would've been my boss by now if, well – I pushed that thought down in a hurry. As we arrived at the car, Mr. Northman turned towards me as I let go of his arm to unlock and open the car.
"I think you'll like working here. I think that this will be a good fit."
I smiled. "I hope so." His hand lifted and he ran a finger down the edge of my face, then picked an imaginary piece of fluff from my shoulder. He nodded and looked away. He opened the car door wider and stepped away, clearing his throat.
"I'll see you tomorrow then."
"Yes, of course, sir. Tomorrow." I slid into the car and he closed it. I started the car, but reached down to take off my shoes and set them in the passenger seat with my bag. I sat up straight reached for my seatbelt and realized that he was still there, still watching. I rolled down the window, looking up.
"Next time, lock the doors first then lose the shoes." He smiled as I nodded and hit the lock button. I rolled up the window and double checked the mirrors and the seat position. I looked back up and he was already across the street. I gave a little wave, sure that he couldn't see me in the bright lights of the building's entrance. He did turn back and seemed to be waiting. I put the car in gear and carefully merged onto the street – driving away. He was still visible in my review mirror until I made the turn at the corner.
Author's note: What questions have you wished you'd asked on your first day – or at an interview? Have you ever had a work crush?
In other news, I'm trying to respond to my reviews – if I missed one of yours in a prior chapter, give me a frowny face with your review in this chapter and I'll put you at the top of my list :). FF & I are currently arguing about being able to see my old messages, so I'm trying to stay on top of it, but I'm afraid I may have missed someone or doubled up. I really do read and reread your reviews – thanks so much for them! (Also, please allow PMs if you would like a reply.) I've also responded to my own thoughts on the questions in my profile – if you're feeling nosy. Again, please review – even if it's generic. Thanks! - Rachel
Oh – and yes NOLA does have the highest per capita murder rate of cities over 250,000 people in the US.
