The Other Side Of This Life
-xx-
Everything's Different, Nothing's Changed
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."
―Oscar Wilde
-xx-
"Ugh..." Dan moans lowly as he sits up on the familiar couch, he rubs circles on his fever-ridden temple with his forefingers in a vain attempt to alleviate the pounding headache. "Chuck..." he calls out hoarsely, "Chuck..." He attempts standing up, but plops back down because the room just won't stop spinning. "Chuck!"
"Daniel." Chuck sits up on his bed, rubs his eyes lazily, "Keep it down. Some of us are trying to get our beauty sleep." Two women from room service are half-dressed and wrapped around Chuck.
Dan groans, "We have class." he says, "I think... We're supposed to be at school already." He looks down at himself, realizes he's wearing the remnants of last night's tux.
What the hell happened last night?, Dan wonders as he rummages his pockets for his phone and wallet.
"Took care of that." Announces Chuck from his spot on the bed, "We are out with the flu for the day." He adds, "You're welcome."
Dan lies back down on the couch. It feels like something died in his mouth. His hand roots around the carpeted floor in search of something to drink and stop when he grabs a bottle. Absolut. He takes long swig and finishes the bottle.
Last night must've been killer because he can barely feel the liquor sliding down his throat. His heavy eyelids flutter closed and he gives in to sleep for a couple more hours.
-xx-
A few hours later, Dan wakes up to what he perceives to be the abnormally loud whirring noise of a blender. "Uugh," he moans, sitting up slowly this time. "Chuck!" he calls out.
"Ah, it lives!" Chuck exclaims from behind the bar where he was currently mixing some green-like concoction. "Good afternoon, Rip Van Winkle."
Dan presses the base of his hand to his temple, "What's that noise?" he asks, his free hand scavenging around poker chips for his phone.
Three missed calls from Nate. A voicemail from Rufus. A few texts from Jenny. And one from Blair—the only one he bothers to read.
Missed you today. You okay?
Dan sighs, types back a quick reply that's more or less the truth and stashes his phone before Chuck can inquire who's texting him. "I don't even remember getting here last night." he says.
Chuck approaches him, sits on the table across from him, "A good time was had by all," he extends the high-ball glass filled with some green mixture and Dan takes it, "Trust me, that is all you need to know."
Dan downs half of it in a gulp and winces at the taste. "Oh, god, what is this?" he groans.
"It burns away the hangover." Chuck supplies.
"Yeah, it feels like it's burning away half my stomach, too," Dan replies, taking another swig anyways because what the hell.
Chuck grins, "This is good. Last night was great. I was worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. You know, since Saint Daniel's been a fairly permanent fixture lately, but you outdid me out there!" There's a sense of relief there; they can get back to business as usual with a little more scheming.
"Yeah, well," Dan starts, "Some things you just don't forget—like riding a bike."
Chuck smirks, "Any doubts I had about your endurance were most definitely quelled."
Dan shrugs, tilts his glass towards Chuck, "Yeah, well, here's to the glory days," he toasts somewhat sardonically.
Chuck smirks, "To the glory days!" He clinks his glass against Dan's, "Long live, eh," he chuckles, "So, what is on tonight's agenda?"
"Uh, nothing," Dan replies, jumping to his feet, "I've got plans tonight."
Chuck rolls his eyes, "What plans?" he demands.
"Nothing you need to know," Dan replies, setting the empty glass down on the table, "I gotta get home. I need to shower." he shrugs, "Possibly burn this tux."
Chuck's own phone beeps, a text from Serena.
Cant believe you bailed 2day. No fair 2 party without me! :(
"Your phone has been blowing up since last night." Dan declares, "Who is texting you? And is it business or pleasure?"
Chuck smirks with that trademark leer of his, "Nonya." he says cryptically. He figures it's best to not tell Dan that he's been hanging out with Serena for the past few days.
Dan wants to ask something more, but opts against it. With Chuck, give the choice, it is always better to not know.
-xx-
Dan arrives at his house and jumps into the shower. It's not until he arrives at his bedroom that he notices it.
The garment bag is laid out on his bed. Inside is the Prince Charming tuxedo and the black-and-silver mask Serena had picked out for him last month. The masquerade was one of her favorite parties of the year.
As if on cue, his phone beeps with the latest Gossip Girl blast.
Long ago, when European royals grew bored with palace balls, they took a page from the peons and added some pageantry. Couture and canapés are just another Saturday night until you add a mask, but preparing for a ball is an event in itself...
xoxo, Gossip Girl
Dan eyes the tux and sighs. The day they (Serena) had picked out their outfits feels like forever ago now. He tosses it into his closet and dials Blair.
"Hey, Brooklyn," he greets, "Sorry I didn't call yesterday."
"It's fine. Are okay, though? You weren't at school today."
Dan rubs the back of his head, "Ah, I'm fine," he says, "It's nothing. A night out with Chuck really took it out of me."
"What, the chauvinism and debauchery get too tiring for you?"
"You mock, but it's very stressful being Dan Humphrey." he retorts, "But I do want to see you, if you're free that is."
"That depends. What'd you have in mind?"
Dan grins, "I don't know. Lady's choice. We can hit a movie, we can stay in. Wanna hit the Strand for something new to read?"
"I am still at school right now. How about we go get a bite?" Blair suggests, "Pete's Tavern in fifteen?"
"You got it, babe," Dan says automatically, reaching to slide on a button-down, "See ya there."
-xx-
Blair arrives to find Dan sitting on one of the outside tables, two glasses of water in front of him. Dark Ray-Bans cover his eyes and he flashes her a smile.
"I know, I'm late," Blair squeals, "Sorry!"
Dan winces a bit, the high noise piercing his head, "It's fine." he says, "I haven't ordered yet."
Blair eyes him curiously for a beat, then she pushes his sunglasses into his hair, "What's wrong with you?" she asks, brow furrowed in concern at the sight of his bloodshot eyes, "Are you okay?"
"Nothing." Dan squints, waves her hands away, "It's fine. I just...I told you, I went out with Chuck last night. It got a little intense. I'm fine."
Blair kinks her eyebrows, "You don't look fine." she counters, "Is that why you missed school today?"
"Look, we all get a little drunk sometimes," Dan shrugs. "A little high, too. I was just trying to have a good time."
Blair blinks, "That doesn't sound like having a good time," she says, "That sounds like numbing yourself out. It's not healthy."
Dan rolls his eyes, "Can you get off the high horse, Blair?" he says, "I'm not really in the mood right now. It's all fine. I know how to take care of myself; lots of fluids, no passing out face-up, and plenty of aspirin the morning after.""
"I'm not on any high horse." Blair defends, "But you've been doing this a lot lately, and it's not good for you. You're not even legally supposed to be drinking yet, and you definitely shouldn't be drinking this much."
Dan says gruffly, "Seriously, I don't need you judging me right now."
Blair sighs, "I wasn't—"
"Yeah, you were." Dan cuts her off, "So just stop it!" he shakes his head, "I don't need this."
Blair tries to remain composed, "I know you're upset right now, and I know you feel like you've lost some friends and, you know, your dad just isn't there, but it's no excuse to drink yourself into a catatonic state."
"You know what, don't." Dan says, "Spare me the bullshit. I don't have a problem."
Blair scoffs, "You don't get to become an alcoholic just because you're a spoiled rich kid." she says pointedly, "You're better than that."
"Oh, thank god you weren't judging me!" Dan replies sarcastically.
"Look, I know you're lonely right now—"
Dan cuts her off again, "And you're not?" he accuses, "You have no one, either." As soon as the words leave his mouth, Dan regrets them, and when he sees hurt flash through her eyes, he knows he pushed it too far. "Blair, I—"
"Don't." Blair cuts him off this time around. "You're an asshole, Dan." she grabs her bag and storms away.
Dan buries his head in his hands, defeated and angry, "Yeah, I am," he mutters to himself, looks up to watch her walk away.
-xx-
The masquerade party appears to be the definition of decadence.
Nate stands alone in his Phantom of the Opera costume when Chuck suddenly pops up next to him. "Drink up." he instructs, handing his friend a glass. "You look like you need it."
"Thanks," Nate accepts the drink, takes a sip, "So, uh, you been hanging out with Serena lately?"
Chuck smirks, "Nathaniel," he comments, amused, "You keeping tabs on me?"
"You guys showed up in the Spotted Map." Nate replies, "Though I did hear you and Dan did some serious damage on a pub crawl. All five boroughs, huh?"
Chuck grins proudly, "I didn't think he'd make it past the first one," he says, "Our boy outdid me."
"Dan's not really my boy anymore." Nate downs what's left of his drink.
Chuck frowns, "Oh, enough!" he demands, "You fucked up. Whatever. It happens. He'll get over it, and so will you. Tonight is a night of expression, not repression. You both can hide behind your masks, but you can't hide your true desires. So drink up," he hands him another drink, "And relax. Everything will be alright."
-xx-
Blair opens the door to find a large box with an envelope on top. The expensive stationary feels heavy in her hands, and she already knows who must have sent the mystery package.
Blair,
You were right. I'm sorry.
I'd much rather have you by my side than spend another night of debauchery with Chuck.
Please accept my apology and meet me tonight at the masquerade party.
Yours,
Dan.
Blair can't help the smile that tugs at her lips; she thinks for a second that Dan should pursue a career in writing because the boy certainly has a way of swaying you with words.
She opens the box to find a stunning dress, Oscar de la Renta according to the label, and just her size, too.
She reads the note over one more time and wonders if Dan Humphrey will ever stop taking her by surprise.
-xx-
Dan eyes Chuck's costume and laughs, "The Devil," he says, "How fitting."
Chuck rolls his eyes, "Mock all you want. I'm immune." he says, his eyes scouting for tonight's victim, "Who's it going to be?"
"You're on your own tonight, man."
"Oh, come on!" Chuck scoffs, "Are you serious? The Brooklyn project is still going on? I thought you'd gotten over that."
"The real question is why does it bother you so much." Dan says, though he doesn't really care.
"No, the question is: are you honestly bringing Cinderella to the ball?" Chuck inquires, "You know it's only a matter of time until she turns back into a pumpkin, right?"
Dan's fists ball up, "Yeah, well," he starts, "You already turned back into a rat, Chuck, and it's not even midnight yet. Congratulations." he walks away, considers heading towards the bar but opts against it.
Chuck downs what's left of his scotch, spots Serena holding court over by Kati and Is. He sneaks up behind her, loops an arm around her, his hand resting against her stomach, "Hello, S." he whispers into her ear, "May I say, you look ravishing this evening."
Serena laughs, "Chuck," she scolds, "You were supposed to wear a costume, you know."
"Funny." Chuck says, "Drink?"
Serena links her arm through his, "Lead the way, Bass."
-xx-
This time around Blair Waldorf's entrance doesn't demand attention—it automatically captures it. She stands atop the grand staircase, half her face hidden away behind an intricate mask and her gown flowing around her.
Kati and Is speculate over the dress. Penelope and Hazel stop vying for Nate's attention and start throwing hushed guesses as to who she might be. Even Chuck and Serena pull away from the bar long enough to glance at the mystery girl.
But Dan recognizes her immediately and he moves over to wait for her at the bottom of the stairs, grinning in wonderment like an excited little boy. He cannot believe she actually showed up to the party.
Blair feels the pressure that comes from being the center of attention and extends a hand out.
Dan takes her gloved hand, drops a kiss on her knuckles. "M'lady," He offers his arm to her as she reaches the last step.
Blair hesitantly takes it, "M'lord," she replies, flashing him an ambivalent smile.
"Thanks for coming." Dan says, escorting her over to the dance floor.
Blair spins into his arms, "This doesn't mean you're off the hook."
"I know. I was a dick." Dan leads her around the dance floor with the grace that comes from years of mandatory dance lessons for the Junior League Cotillion committee. "What I said, I didn't mean it. I care about you, Blair. I'm sorry."
Blair smiles, this time for real, "I care about you, too."
"Good." Dan says, leaning closer to her. She could feel his breath on her lips, his fingers running through her hair. "I don't want to screw this up." He tilts his head, brushes his lips against hers softly.
Blair leans into the kiss, pulls him closer, "I won't let you." She assures him before pressing her lips against hers once more.
"Well, I think it's safe to say we've officially lost Daniel to the other side," comments Chuck, "Why do girls love to convert a sinner? Why can you feed them almost any line if they feel that they've reformed you?" he asks in slight annoyance.
Nate chuckles, "You can't ride two horses with one ass, Chuck," he says, "You said tonight is a night for expression, not repression. Dan's...going after what he wants. And you know what? I'm going to follow his lead." He hands Chuck his drinks and walks off in search of a blonde goddess. He spots her coming out of the bathrooms and slips up behind her.
"Serena, don't say anything. Just let me explain." Nate says, his breath hot against her ear, "I'm trying to do the right thing, but it's killing me. I know we both care about Dan, but I can't keep hiding how I feel. I'm not over you. And I thought I could fight it, but I can't. If you don't stop me, I'm gonna kiss you." He whirls her around and plants his lips against hers.
It's the first thing that feels right in weeks.
