Ch. 9 Realizations

Erza was walking, walking and thinking, the two, together, lately was not a good

combination. Everytime she was by herself, thinking, she couldn't help but doubt, doubt her foundation, doubt her ability to be Titania, Queen of the fairies.

She couldn't help but think about the same thing constantly, think about how much she wished she was stronger. If she had been stronger she wouldn't have needed a break and she wouldn't have left Natsu to go to that resort. If she were stronger she could go find Natsu herself and bring him back.

But Erza, though she'd never admit it aloud, knew her own limitations, and that task was way higher than them. I'm sure if I could talk to him he would...he might...come back. Erza truely believed this, she thought if she could just get him away from his "new" guild she would be able to talk some sense into him...maybe…

Erza continued down street, she didn't realize she was walking to Natsu's cottage until she walked into his and Happy's sign. Erza looked up at at his house, broken from her thoughts. Erza glanced around and walked in, what she saw only deepened her depression. There, on the floor beside Natsu's bed was black powder.

Erza walked up to it, her mind telling her to avoid it. WHen she reached the little puddle she crouched down and dipped her fingers in. At first nothing happened, she could only feel the cool sensation of the sand slushing in her hand, then the room went white….

~(****)~

Erza could feel nothing, Erza could see nothing, the only thing keeping Erza connected to reality was a voice. The voice was familiar, but Erza in her dazed state couldn't wrap her mind around it enough to figure out who it belonged to. She continued to listen in on what the voice was saying.

"Come on, Erza! Stop IT!" Erza's mind cleared alittle at hearing her own name called out by the voice. Just then her vision changed into a setting, she was in the old guild hall, before Gajeel destroyed it years before. She saw three children standing in a semi-circle, each having a look of anger on them or maybe it was determination.

She realized with a start that she was looking through Natsu's eyes at herself, Gray, and Mira, all of them looking to be ready to pummel. "Whatever Natsu, it's none of your business." Erza crossed her arms, stomping away.

"What'd you do that for?" Natsu asked Mira angrily, "Because it's true." she replied. "So? That doesn't mean you tell the world." Natsu took a step towards Mira, his fist raised. Erza was hit with realization, she was seeing Natsu's memory of when Mira made fun of her about having a fake eye. He had been telling Erza to stop because Erza was on the edge of fighting Mira, and it would probably been a bit more serious than their usual "play-fights".

"Yeah, Mira. That was mean, I mean it's not her fault!" Gray backed Natsu up. "Hmmp, when did you even get here Gray?" Mira asked. "Who cares?" he replied, Mira obviously was only pissing him off more. "Whatever, do you want me to knock your head into the ground?" she asked dangerously. Natsu not wanting to hear it anymore walked away in pursuit of Erza.

When Natsu found her he could see she was crying, which was unusual beings that she was so hardcore. Natsu knew that if he said anything he would only be knockabout by her fists for seeing her in such a vulnerable state so he walked away, back to the guild.

When the vision was over Erza was back in Natsu's house sitting on the ground. Erza's mind took a moment to catch up with what had just happened. She had just seen Natsu's memory...one of the memories that the black sand had taken away, out of his mind, forgotten forever.

Erza didn't realize she was crying until she felt the tear hit her hand, she could remember that day. It was the day she had marked Mira as her rival. It was also the day Natsu, the same Natsu that seem oblivious to others problems until told about them, had seen how badly it hurt her to think about her eye and defended her even though she was so mean in return.

Erza had left after Natsu had told her to stop, so she hadn't known what had happened after she had left, but now she saw that he had defended her against the then scary Mira. Realizing this deeper made Erza cry harder. Erza couldn't think of a time she had missed Natsu more in all her life, it became a need, She needed to find Natsu and return this memory to him.

~~(****)~~

THe next day Lucy walked into the guild she could tell something big had happened by just looking at Erza. Lucy walked a little more quickly to Erza's side, "Hey, you okay?" Lucy asked, Erza didn't look up to answer, "Yeah, fine." she replied. Lucy could tell by the determined face Erza was wearing that it didn't matter how many times Lucy asked Erza she wasn't going to tell her what had happened.

"Hey guys", Lucy glanced behind her, already knowing who the voice belonged to but still looking back at Gray….shirtless. "Gray, your shirt." Cana said from the bar. Gray glanced down at himself "Gah!" he exclaimed, Lucy looked away, suppressing a smile.

"You guys!" Erza looked up to see Lisanna running towards them, when she reached them she put her hands on her knees to support herself. "What is it?" Erza asked.

"I think I have a plan!" She shouted. "A plan for what?" Lucy asked stupidly.

"A plan to get Natsu back, not his memories yet, but himself for now!" her smile beamed while she began to explain.

Yeah, I'm evil guys. I left you with no clue as to what Lisanna's plan is. Hey what do you think it is? I'll update real soon, alright? Good! Review for me! Gosh I'm exhausted, I'm gonna go to sleep now :).

~Rainy out!