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And all your other reviews made my day too!! Thanks so so so much. Don't hesitate to criticize, though. I need all the help I can get. :)
This chapter is from 2am by Alexz Johnson. (You kissed me into ruins / sin on sin)
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Ultraviolet
Chapter 9: Sin on Sin
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The next couple days went by slowly. I mostly stayed inside, terrified that I would go crazy if I smelled a human. But it was so boring... and not being able to sleep made the days drag on and on.
The Cullens' were... entertaining, to say the last. They were always yelling at each other, making jokes, fighting, or doing something. Since they were around each other constantly, they'd learned to put up with each other.
And when they weren't speaking, I heard their thoughts. It was rather interesting, to be able to know exactly what everyone was thinking at any given moment. It let me know so much more about each Cullen then they'd ever shared with me when I was human. I learned about each transformation in even more detail, understanding the pain and every other emotion they'd felt at the time. I heard about what they thought of themselves and about their relationships with each other.
And along with all the serious things, I heard their random thoughts, memories, and feelings. They were genuinely happy, sane vampires, which struck me as a tad ironic.
I'd also learned each of their scents. Everyone's scent was different, I noticed, and now I could tell who had walked into a room without looking, simply by smelling.
I'd grown much closer to Jasper. He hadn't been able to be around me much as a human, but now, he talked to me quite often. He'd hugged me as soon as he'd seen that I was a vampire. It was nice that he could touch me now. He was like an older brother, the nice one that I could talk to about anything.
Every time I was in a room with Emmett, I ended up laughing. He was funny, funnier than I'd thought. He was never boring. He and Rosalie fought all the time, but it was hilarious to watch and they were never mad for long. His thoughts were even funnier, mostly random pranks he wanted to pull, but never ended up following through.
Rosalie and I were getting along slightly better. I could see in her eyes (and her thoughts) that she still didn't like my decision. But she was coming around. She was starting to stop holding it against me, and know me for who I was, not for the choices I made. We weren't as close as Alice and I, and I didn't think we ever would be, but it was getting better.
Alice treated me as a living Barbie. She was always slathering my face with makeup products, trying out different styles on my hair. She'd made it her mission to pick out my clothes every morning, so I was forced to walk around in the outfits she'd selected.
Nights were the worst. It was dark, and I couldn't pass the time by sleeping. Edward was always there, of course, and we talked quite a bit, among other things. He told me more about his life as a human, which I found intriguing.
But we didn't always need to talk. Sometimes we would just lie there silently, holding each other. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was comforting and nice.
Edward would also teach me more about blocking out thoughts. "If you just focus on your thoughts, or on something specific, it helps. Imagine a brick wall around your mind, and only your thoughts are inside. It makes the other thoughts fade out slightly, where you can only hear them faintly, and they're easier to ignore."
I practiced sometimes, when I was in a room with the rest of the Cullen's. Edward's tips were actually quite helpful. It wasn't as overwhelming now, and I wasn't bombarded with voices every time I entered a room.
After the third day of being inside, the blood cravings came back. Alice knew it, and had already told Edward by the time I'd realized I wanted blood.
"Bella, you have to hunt," he told me, stroking my hair.
I shook my head, refusing. "I can't," I said simply, crossing my arms. I couldn't risk anyone's life, just for blood. "I'll be fine."
"No, you won't. You'll go crazy. Vampires need blood. Right now, you're starving yourself. You need to hunt." But I was adamant. He sighed, exasperated. "What can I do? Bring a deer here for you?"
"That would be helpful," I said sarcastically.
He sighed again. "Well, I'm going. Jasper and I will only be gone for a couple hours. See you soon, love." He kissed my cheek and headed out the door.
I bit my lip, worried I'd made him mad. Alice took the opportunity of me being alone to rush in with more hair products. "He's not mad!" she chirped cheerfully. Then she laughed. "It'll work out," she said, a mischievous glint in her eye, and began chattering about something else. I wasn't really paying attention, more focused on her vision.
Just as Alice wrapped up her fourth extremely long story, I smelled Edward. I smiled. I sniffed again. The scent of blood came with him. It was calling me, telling me to run to it. It wasn't the blood of a human, so I figured that he just smelled slightly... bloody after hunting.
"Look outside," Alice said, a smile playing at the corner of her lips. I got up from my spot on the floor and looked out the window. Edward stood, staring up at me, gripping a rather large deer in his arms. It was still alive, struggling and writhing against him every few seconds, but it was a lost effort. It appeared to be tired- obviously it had been doing this for awhile. Edward's grip was tight.
"I'd rather not bring it in," he called, grinning at me. "Think you can manage to step outside for a minute?"
A smile lit across my face as I threw open the window and catapulted myself out of it. Somehow I landed lightly on my feet, the drop jarring me slightly but not causing pain.
"You could have used the stairs," Alice yelled from above me, her head sticking out of the window.
I barely heard her, the blood was overwhelming me. I jumped towards the deer that was still in Edward's arms, and he released it, stepping backwards. The deer stumbled slightly, and I took the chance to dig my hands into its back to hold it still, and sink my teeth into its body. I drank thirstily- why had I refused to taste this? I needed it.
I was done, the blood was all gone. I let myself calm down. I could never get used to this adrenaline I felt when I was drinking blood.
I was touched. He'd actually carried a deer home for me, he cared about me that much.
I giggled. I was touched that he'd brought me a deer. It sounded so strange.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing," I said, smiling. "Thanks."
He reached over, enveloped me in his arms. "See, you did need it."
"I wasn't serious when I said you should bring a deer here," I muttered into his shoulder.
"Neither was I. But then I thought, why not?" He chuckled softly. "I wonder how long it would have taken you to cave and go hunt."
"Four more days!" Alice called from somewhere inside the house.
"You shouldn't wait that long, especially as a newborn."
I shrugged.
"Stubborn as always," Edward replied, grinning, and kissing me. I melted and was about to collapse, my legs growing weaker. He cheerfully scooped me up and carried me to his room, not breaking our kiss.
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So it wasn't all that boring. It took some getting used to, but it got better every day.
That night as we lay in Edward's... well, our bed talking, he brought up hunting again.
"Can you please try to go?" he said softly, his cool breath tickling the side of my face.
I didn't say anything.
"Please, Bella?" he asked again, his lips on my ear.
"That's not fair..." I said, trailing off as he planted kisses all over the side of my face.
"What's not?" he feigned innocence, twining our fingers together.
"You know." I turned away so my back was towards him, but I still held on to his hand.
"I really don't," he said, a smile in his voice, tugging me back over to face him. "I just want you," he paused, kissed me, "to go..." Kiss. "hunting." Kiss, kiss, kiss.
I tried to resist him, but it was useless. "I can't," I whispered.
"Yes, you can, Bella. Don't doubt yourself so much. I know it's hard, and it might get harder, but you can't just hide from this. To put it simply, you're a vampire now, and you need blood."
"Okay," I sighed, biting my bottom lip. "Tomorrow. I'll try."
"Thank you, Bella. That's all I'm asking. Try." He leaned over me, kissing me again and again until I was dizzy and all thoughts of hunting left my mind.
The next morning, my stomach dropped. Why had I let that manipulative vampire convince me to go? I sighed.
"Ready?" he asked, grinning as I walked downstairs.
"No," I replied, glaring. I wished I could have a normal morning, where I stumbled around blearily until I had a bowl of cheerios and a glass of orange juice. Instead of this.
He chuckled, wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Alice is coming, too. She wants to see you hunt."
Great.
We headed out, the three of us, into the woods. The sounds and smells overwhelmed me once again, but I tried to focus.
"Let's see if you can find the deer this time, Bella," Edward said encouragingly. "Use your smell, track the scent."
He had to make this even harder. I sighed, but breathed in the air. There was a brief but sweet scent, way in the distance on the left. "Over here," I muttered, and began to chase the scent. I heard their faint footsteps behind me, soft in the muddy earth.
I found the deer within seconds, had pounced, and was drinking hungrily before Edward or Alice had even caught up. It was a pack of them, they scattered as soon as they saw me attack one of their herd. I finished with the first, and chased after another.
I felt much, much better now.
Edward caught up, his hand on my shoulder. "See, Bella, you're fine, and you did great."
I didn't want to admit that he was right, so I changed the subject. "Where's Alice?"
"She's thirsty, too. She found another deer. See if you can smell her and find her."
I breathed in, trying to remember what Alice smelled like. There was a faint trace of a familiar scent, and I walked swiftly towards it. It became stronger, I was getting closer. But I stopped, pausing, as Edward caught up with me.
There was another scent, deeper into the woods. I'd smelled it before, but it seemed so much sweeter now. It was heaven, compared to this deer, and I needed it. I began to run after it.
"Bella, Bella, stop it!" Alice was calling after me, and I heard her feet behind me, chasing me. Another set of footsteps was with her, and I recognized the scent- Edward.
"Bella!" It was his velvety voice, trying to coax me back, away from the blood.
But I didn't care. I truly and honestly didn't care. I blocked out Edward's voice, Alice's voice, and ran faster. I was almost there, the scent was so strong. I heard the thoughts of someone up ahead, just outside the woods. The sharp odor of cigarette smoke burned my nose.
Hope no one notices I'm gone. I hate this job, they don't pay me enough.
He was a construction worker, I noted as I got closer. Skipping work. It had started off as a lunch break, progressed into a lunch hour, and he couldn't resist finishing it up by going off for a smoke in the woods.
I was almost there now, when suddenly I felt myself pitching forward, face planting in the dirt. I hissed, spitting the dirt out of my mouth. I felt myself being turned over, my arms pinned to the ground.
Alice and Edward hovered over me, their arms strong. "Bella. Stop. Focus." It was Alice, her voice calm and strong in my ear.
I hissed again, tried to get up off the ground. The scent was wavering in the air, taunting me. Why were they torturing me? Just let me have it, just let me go. It'll be over in a minute. What harm could come of it? Just let me go.
"Stop, Bella." They were treating me like a child. I heard the man sigh, just a little ways away. His breath traveled through the trees and towards me, and as I breathed it in, I felt a sudden volt of power, adrenaline maybe, surge through me.
I threw my head forward, snapping my teeth at anything within reach. They connected, I felt them close around something hard and cold. It was sort of a blind rage, all I could see were the trees preventing me from getting the blood. I threw my arms forward, knocked myself free. I heard something slam and something fall as I growled, racing towards the trees.
The human was facing me, and I had time to see his face turn to shock and his mouth open slightly before I knocked him backwards and my mouth was at his shoulder, draining him of blood.
I was in heaven. The sensation of this warm, sweet, delicious blood running down my throat was the most perfect feeling I'd ever had. It was like a high, and I never wanted it to end. I quickly lapped the blood up, my eyes closing in pure bliss. The deer I'd had before were nothing compared to this. How had I let myself miss out? I sucked out the last few drops and leaned back, wishing there was more.
The blood made me stronger, made my senses more in tune. I drew in a breath, calming myself. The high was still there, but I could focus now, I had found the blood I needed and I was satisfied.
I heard a moan in the forest, and the reality of what I'd just done crashed down around me.
"You're fine, Edward, it's just a bite." It was Alice's voice. I heard leaves crunch under her feet, heard Edward moan again.
"Don't touch it," he said sharply. "Go get her. I'll tell Carlisle."
"I'm fine, too, thanks," she said sarcastically. "I only got thrown into a tree."
"Go get her. You don't know what else she could do!"
"Actually, I do," Alice's voice replied. "She'll be fine."
"Alice! Go!"
Alice sighed, and I heard her feet begin to move quickly towards me.
This wasn't heaven, this was hell. And I needed to get out of here.
I turned around and ran.
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I'm not sure how well I did with that chapter... I feel extremely repetitive every time I describe Bella hunting. Well, whatever. Review, tell me what you think!
