'Black' Ritsu


Walking side by side, in the quiet and still deserted streets of the early morning, Takano and Retsu kept their gazes ahead. The sky was tinted with a touch of blue and pink. The wind a little chilly which would disappear later in the summer day. A few high schoolers on their bikes and on foot could be seen once in a while.

"You sure are taking serious precautions against me huh?" the black-haired young man chimed. "I said we can talk tonight...anyway...morning's fine too."

"I'll pay you anyway so no need to whine, is there?"

"Haiii..."

They walked again in silence. That very silence was causing a huge discomfort for the older one.

Takano closed his eyes, calming his senses. It was always like this, even with Ritsu. He couldn't keep his heart intact it was always a running mess. And he was a little, just a little disappointed at how he was being thrown out of his pace because of this 'black' Ritsu.

"Hey...Saga...ah-" Retsu slapped his mouth and then grinned shortly with a peace sign. "Sawwwrrrry...you're 'Takano' already right? Gomen gomen..."

"Not a big deal."

"So uhm..." Retsu jumped a foot closer to Takano, swinging his arms like how a child would. "Can we like, get something to eat first? And of course, your treat."

"Huh?"

"Don't forget you invited me and all. And I am really hungry right now. I need to eat something," the raven smiled sweetly. "Or I can eat you, or you eat me..."

"Stop with the dirty talk will you?" Takano hissed. It felt like he was going to have a heart attack, hearing such outward indecencies from the face of his beloved. He didn't like it. He missed his stubborn and pure 'Ritsu' badly. "I'll stuff your mouth full of proper food so shut up."

Retsu giggled a little and finally quieted down. When he did that, everything went back to the peaceful morning. And somehow, Takano wanted to cry. He wasn't the strong-tyrant who had a heart of stone in the first place. When it was about Ritsu, he was always a mess. And now more than ever, he was in chaos.

Retsu observed the tall man beside him for a few seconds. He watched Takano's profile and fished for his red cap after. He threw it over his messy head and walked a little slower, letting Takano walk ahead.

"What are you doing?" Takano asked, noticing the change of his companion's pace.

"I'll follow you behind."

"What is this another antic of yours?"

"It hurts, doesn't it?"

"...?"

"Seeing me."

"..."

"Go on...there's a family restaurant after that street. Hurry up."

Takano stopped altogether. With narrowed eyes, he slightly leaned lower to catch a glimpse of the face hidden under the cap.

"Hey, I thought you hate me?"

Retsu snorted. "Don't get the wrong idea here. I am doing this for myself."

Takano frowned. Retsu looked up.

"Isn't it pathetic and annoying that people look at you and not see you at the same time? You," Retsu gave a knowing smile. "...don't see me at all."


"Itadakimaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasu!"

Watching Retsu chow down everything on that large table made Takano feel ill. Even his cup of coffee felt so difficult drinking as he watched the raven before him eat in a ridiculously fast manner. It was unsettling how he always had a hard time making Ritsu eat with him. And there was the man with the same face, doing the very same thing Takano wanted Ritsu to do, be healthy and more carefree.

"Good...good...everything's good!"

"..."

He even tried warning the other to eat slowly, but his warnings only floated in the air and eventually vanished unheard.

"He could really eat huh..."

It seemed like Retsu wasn't lying when he said he was hungry. Watching then the other like this, Takano noticed then, Retsu was probably a lot skinnier. And the visible radiance as that vulgar Retsu eat his food seemed somehow a sad thing. No person could be that happy while eating unless they know how it is like to be starving.

"This is damn good..." Retsu mumbled with his mouth still full. "Hey, Sag-Takano, can I take home some of this? Shin would definitely like this...ah that too..."

The family restaurant which was still not full when they came was already getting filled one by one by hurrying office workers and those student athletes who just finished their early morning practices.

Takano was somehow getting a bit irked already by the many glances they were receiving. More so, after that too shameful burping Retsu made while tapping his thick stomach.

"Gochisousama...that was really splendid..." Retsu commented, eyes beaming with delight. "The worms inside my stomach are also saying their thanks to you!"

Takano curtly smiled. "My pleasure. But there are other people eating here. Lower your voice with the talk about your parasites."

Retsu laughed without care and continued massaging his bloated tummy. He looked around and watched the other people eat their breakfast. He glanced outside and squinted his eyes at the already high sun outside. And after a couple of more minutes of Retsu checking his bag, checking his phone, he finally looked at Takano squarely in the eyes.

"What is it you want to talk about?"

Takano only looked at Retsu for a long moment. He was good at being a poker-face but in truth, he was caught off-guard by this unpredictable guy before him, every second to be honest.

"..."

"Oi...my time is not cheap Mr. Editor-in-Chief...you'll get broke if you don't start talking now."

"Onodera..."

"Stop right there first," Retsu said nonchalantly while picking a candy from his bag. "I am not an 'Onodera' so just call me Retsu...or you can call me 'darling' if you want, or call me 'Ritsu'. It seems like you miss him badly you're about to call out any minute."

"I am not joking here."

"Well I am not either."

"Then I will not call you anything, not Onodera, certainly never 'Ritsu'..."

Retsu narrowed his eyes. "Can you keep that up?"

"Of course."

"Hoh...then, you'll give me 500 yen everytime you call me 'Onodera'...1000 for 'Ritsu'. How's that?"

Takano frowned even more. "I am not here to play games with you."

"Well...life for me is a game full of thorns."

Many people who were eating have finished their foods already. But the two men at the second table from the corner still weren't able to 'talk'.

Takano crossed his arms and let the service crew take their empty plates in place of another round of coffees. Retsu crossed his legs and yawned, not hiding his boredom.

"You're saying that you're Oda Ritsu," Takano started without any more running around the bush. "And that your twin brother lied all the time we were together?"

Retsu yawned again, his eyes a little watery. "Why bring this up again? It doesn't matter at all anymore. That Oda Ritsu isn't important since it's that Onodera Ritsu you are attached to now."

"Because I want to know the truth."

"Takano-san. That truth is nowhere. It's pointless to ask the villain of this tragic love story don't you think?"

They looked eye to eye. Something that Takano was having a hard time doing with Ritsu before as well. Ritsu would always be looking away whenever there was opportunity. Was it because of the 'lie'? It hurts him to think about it that way, but somehow, now, it seemed like it could be really the only answer.

"Takano-san," Retsu called with a surprisingly gentle smile. "I've always wanted to ask this and since this is a great opportunity..." the raven leaned closer, resting his elbows on the table. "...did you just a little bit liked 'Oda Ritsu'?"

Takano opened his mouth. But he found himself unable to answer.

An old couple passed their table by, happily chatting about their children's success in life. Retsu seemed like he was counting the seconds inside his head. And after fifteen seconds of silence from the man he was talking to, he chewed on his tongue and slumped back to his seat.

"I thought that was an easy question. Anyway-"

"I loved him," was Takano's reply.

It was Retsu's turn to grow quiet. He opened his mouth and ended up in pursing his lips for a long while.

"I see," the raven answered nodding. "I see..."

Perhaps Retsu shouldn't have asked that question. He couldn't explain where that overwhelming feeling came from but it was there plaguing his chest and it was very painful.

"I loved Saga-senpai too," Retsu grinned. "But I guess...Oda and Saga are all characters of the past. They do not exist anymore."

Retsu started fumbling into his bag once more. After almost turning it inside down, he finally got hold of the red cap and put it back on his head.

"Takano-san, can I like...exit now?"

The one being asked looked at the half-hidden face with his observing eyes.

"I'm sorry..." Takano whispered. "For not realizing it was you."

Retsu forced a laugh. "Don't be stupid. I told you your sorrys are futile."

"I'm sorry..." Takano continued. The him who wouldn't say sorry to anybody that easily could only think of these words to say. It was as if there was no other thing to say in the first place but these. "Gomen..."

Retsu stood stiffly, the table almost shaking when he did so. "Why do you keep on saying sorry? I don't need it."

"I just feel like I have to..."

"You loved my brother more than you did 'Oda Ritsu' is all that I can decipher from your sorries right now."

"..."

Takano only looked at the pair of eyes looking back at him. That must be really the truth. Whether Onodera Ritsu lied about being his kouhai, the times they met after ten years were real. The feelings for the brunette was real, regardless of the past. It didn't matter if Oda Ritsu had been used or not as a front. He'd definitely fall for Onodera Ritsu whatever the circumstances were. That perhaps was why Takano could only grope to apologize.

Takano knew, there was a clear betrayal on his part.

Retsu laughed a little. The expressions on his face well-hidden by the shadows of his cap. "You're really a jerk."

Takano Masamune looked at the half-empty cup of coffee before him. He was a bit off of himself too.

"Thanks for the food," Retsu murmured as he gathered his stuff. "I'll collect my pay for this talk after I've computed the minutes."

"Onodera!"

Retsu paused, smiling oddly. "That's additional 500 yen for you."

Not heeding Takano's words of 'wait' as the man tried to slam the payment down the table, the raven had already created a good distance from the family restaurant down to the already sweltering neighborhood.

Retsu ran and ran to wherever his feet would take him. He ran and ran to his heart's content until his sweat was dripping down from his forehead to his neck. He ran until he could no longer carry his own weight.

"..."

He only stopped when he could feel his lungs about bursting. He wasn't at all surprised where his feet had taken him. It was by instinct. A place where his source of comfort and security was. Anywhere that person was would be where his source of strength would be.

"I don't have the fucking time to think about Ritsu or that Takano..." Retsu gritted as allowed himself get rested, inhaling the full of antiseptic scent of the air that was emitting from the main entrance of the hospital. "They could both rot in hell..."

He walked briskly, almost stumbling to a young girl on a wheel chair. But he didn't utter any words of sorry.

"Everything...fucking everything was summed up to just 'I'm sorry'? It takes only two words...two words...damn it..."

The raven laughed. It caused other people who were walking in the spacious hallway to glance at his direction. He was glistening with his own sweat, his hair all over the place, his eyes red from lack of proper rest. He could have appeared to be someone who got out from the nearby mental facility.

"As if I could be bothered..." Retsu stopped walking and stared hard at the closed door before him. "Everything is running in a different path now...and I haven't done anything yet to repay Shin for all the troubles I've caused him...I don't have the time to think about him..."

He stood there only facing the door for a while.

"Yappari...I really abhor them... Ritsu...that Takano..."

When he drew a deep breath, he finally calmed down. His own silence deafened him. The sweet voice from the intercom calling for some doctor was irritating. The far away cry of an infant annoyed him.

Pushing the door gently, not disturbing the other patients inside that room, Retsu came in. The curtains of most of the patients were pulled close. He couldn't see them at all. Except for one at the farthest side of the room near the window. Shin's spot. The spot where all the sunlight was gathering.

"..."

Retsu observed Shin for a long while. The waivy-haired man who was trying to peel off the skin from a delicious looking mikan had a funny expression on his face.

"You're this weak you can't even peel that thing?"

Shin looked up surprised. He wasn't even given the chance to protest when Retsu just grabbed the already squished mikan out of his grasp.

"Retsu...?"

The raven slumped on the nearest chair by Shin's bed and focused on peeling the citrus fruit. By this time, he had already removed his cap, his hair sticking everywhere. His sweat had been dried off by the dry air, his shirt oddly sticking against his skin. His fingers holding the mikan shaking.

"Retsu..." Shin called out again, his eyes showing utter worry. "Why...are you crying?"

As if shocked by what he heard, the green-eyed man lifted a hand and felt for his cheek. His fingers slightly feeling the wetness against his skin. His eyes wide from confusion.

Shin slightly moved to the side of the bed, trying to take a closer look at that miserable face.

"What happened...?"

The raven sighed deeply, sounding tired this time. He covered his eyes with his left hand.

"I'm crying because you can't peel off a fruit's damned skin...it's so tragic..."

"..."

"Aren't you pathetic? You can't win against a mikan?"

Retsu giggled. But the orange enemy had already slipped off from his hand and had rolled under the bed.

Shin watched the shaking shoulders, the obvious flushed cheeks and ears and the hiccups escaping his best friend's mouth. He slowly reached out to the messy hair and stayed their just like that.

There were only two reasons his best friend would cry; Onodera Ritsu or the senpai.

The twin brother was already gone. It wasn't at all difficult to know the answer.

"I'm going to peel the mikan for you," Shin mumbled, reaching out to the bag of oranges beside him. "Looks like it's you who need it now..."

"Don't be absurd," Retsu hissed, grabbing the fruit off of Shin's hand. With a deep frown like every ounce of his anger was being directed to the fruit, he peeled the skin. Fast and impatient he peeled the skin off. He continued doing it until he was already clawing at the real fruit itself and its juices were already trickling down from his hands to the floor.

Shin only watched silently.

As if a button has been pressed, Retsu stopped altogether and raised his blood-shot eyes to his best friend.

"Everything he said..."Retsu whispered like he was in disbelief himself.

"..."

"His 'sorries'...his being all straight that Oda Ritsu just faded in the air and had been replaced without much thought..."

"..."

"...the look of sincerity in his eyes when he said those..."

"..."

"I shouldn't feel anything...I hate him after all..."

"..."

"But this..." hatefully, Retsu looked down to his chest. "...hurts..."


chapter end notes:

alright..hai hai..i know it's been ages...lol..but i am back...crawling my way to the stories that was already placed on a long hiatus/ haha\

thanks for those who're still waiting and supporting this story. XD

please share your thoughts.

-shuusetsu