Unconventional
Chapter 9: Talking is Hard
Author's Note: Thank you, thank you, thank you. You all have been freaking fantastic. I love this story so much and it's really amazing that you all do too. This chapter was actually one I was very much looking forward to writing.
It might not be the longest thing ever, but I think it's important that the two of them talked all of this out and that it had it's own chapter.
Anyway, I'll hopefully have a new chapter up within a few days. Enjoy!
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Emma blinked, her eyes meeting those of the brunette. She nodded a little. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine." She glanced down at their hands, before shaking her head slightly. "No. Regina, I just- I really, really don't want to mess this up. I don't want to say anything that will make you upset, or end this. Whatever this is and-"
She was cut off when Regina spoke. "Walk with me," she said calmly.
"What?" Emma asked quietly.
"It's clear we have a few things that we need to discuss. And we haven't seen the rest of the aquarium yet. Walk with me."
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Just like many times in the past couple of weeks, Emma couldn't look Regina in the eyes. Neither of them had said a word since they had left the table. They just walked, slowly moving through the tunnels and exhibits, brightly colored fish swimming around them. Emma found herself staring off, her gaze following a fish until it was no longer in her view. And despite the fact that the two were completely silent, the blonde was very aware of where the other woman was. They were walking so close, and when she glanced down, their hands were nearly brushing. She wanted nothing more than to reach out and take it in her own. Could she? Before she could ponder the thought further, Regina's voice pulled her out of her thoughts.
"Emma."
Hesitantly, Emma glanced up, meeting a pair of warm brown eyes. She tried to keep her gaze calm, not wanting to betray any of the confusion she was feeling. As she stared into the other woman's eyes, however, her resolve failed. Just looking at her made her melt. "Yeah?" She asked in response.
Regina didn't say anything right away. For a few moments, the two were quiet again. She let out a breath. "I don't blame you." The brunette's voice was quiet.
Briefly, Emma questioned what exactly she wasn't being blamed for. Starting this all in the first place? For making this harder than it should be?
Regina continued, unwavering. "You didn't choose to meet me that night. You didn't choose to be in my class." She paused. "We both share a fault here."
Emma found herself shaking her head, not speaking. "I… No. Regina, I don't see it like that. I'm the one who could have told you the truth. The problem would have been averted. I could have switched out of the class. Again, it would have been fixed. Each time I get an opportunity just- fix it.. I don't." She looked away as she finished speaking, her tone completely serious.
"And why do we keep referring to this as a problem, Miss Swan?"
"Because it's dangerous. It's something that could be fixed."
Regina shook her head slightly, her gaze moving back towards the fish as she spoke. "But every time we have attempted to fix this, it hasn't worked, has it?"
Emma looked over at the other woman, unsure of where this was going. It never seemed like they tried, not really. Or at least, she hadn't. Had Regina?
"First, we attempted to forget what had happened that night. Then, I tried to ignore you as much as possible. Both failed." She paused for a long time, then added in a very matter of fact tone, "I don't regret it."
Emma stopped walking, causing the brunette to stop beside her. "The club." Emma muttered the words, before casting a hesitant look at Regina. "You don't?"
"No. I should."
"I know."
"And that is where we have our problem." Regina continued. She sounded so sure all of the sudden. How could she seem so confident when Emma felt anything but? She must have thought about it all a ton. "We have been so focused on what had happened that we have forgotten that things are happening now."
Emma nodded a little, unsure of how to respond. There was so much truth to what Regina had said. She had felt guilty. But that wasn't mattered anymore. What mattered was the present. "So where does that leave us?"
Regina settled her gaze back on the blonde. "Well…" She let out a breath. "That leaves us with both the inevitable and the matters going forward."
"Let's start with the facts, then." Emma resolved, beginning to walk again. Walking helped, somehow. It was like pacing, it had a sort of rhythm that helped her think. "Okay, so first, is that we met at a club. And then I so courageously helped you get rid of that douchebag."
The sound that escaped Regina's lips was nothing short of melodious. Emma found that she loved her laugh.
The brunette just rolled her eyes good naturedly. "My savior.."
"And we danced. And we kissed. And I was pulled away."
"And you showed up in my class. And now you aid in leading my club."
Emma nodded, continuing the list of what was fact. "And now I've met your son."
"You've met my son and now we are having a lovely time at the aquarium."
The blonde sighed a little. "I guess all that's left is what's happening now."
They walked in complete quiet for a few more moments, before Regina stopped walking. She reached out and touched Emma's arm to stop her. And while her voice was still calm, it held something else. It was something Emma didn't recognize. "Emma."
"What is it?"
"We need to talk about what happens now."
They did need to talk about it. It was something that had needed to be discussed for a while now. Over and over, Emma had replayed in her mind what had happened in the past. But just recently, she had thought about it, about now. This was the moment that she couldn't mess up. It was the moment that she needed to know just what Regina was thinking. "I just have one question moving forward." Emma said finally, hesitantly.
"Yes?" Regina questioned, her eyes not moving from those of the blonde.
"Is this what you want?"
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Regina listened intently as Emma asked her question. It was simple, but it held all of the insecurities that the two of them held since they'd met. At the club, the answer would have been simple. Yes. Once she had found out that Emma was her student, that she was still a minor, the answer would have been a resounding no. And if it wasn't for their time at the club, there was absolutely no possibility anything would have became of the two of them. But that didn't matter, she reminded herself. Now, she thought. Was this what she wanted now?
Part of her said yes. She wanted to get to know Emma. She wanted to have her in her life, but she had to think of Henry. There were so many ways this could end badly. And no matter what happened, she would have to protect her son. Would Emma understand that? She thought so. Beyond what she knew was best for her son, a part of her had thought yes automatically. That was the part that didn't care about the risks. It was the part of her that was so deeply rooted in feeling. It was a part that hadn't really been alive since Daniel had died. But, God, it was their first date. Wouldn't this be jumping the gun? Or would it be opening up possibility that she didn't know existed. It was this side that Regina chose to listen to. "Yes."
A huge sense of relief visibly washed over the blonde as she said the word. Emma smiled then. "Good. Me too."
She didn't need to ask what this was. They were dating. They were together. And this was something they both wanted to happen. That was all they needed. Regina found herself unable to break away from Emma's gaze. A huge sense of calmness seemed to wash over her as she looked into them. "That settles it, then." Regina said simply.
Neither of them spoke any more words, and she really didn't process who had initiated it, but they were growing closer. Her mind began spinning as their lips slowly met, feeling as the blonde wrapped her arms around her waist. After only a few seconds, Emma pulled back, but didn't step away. That kiss had been so much better than that of the club, and probably because it meant so much more. And from the look in Emma's eyes, she could see she felt the same way.
One thought entered her mind and remained there for the rest of the night. This could work.
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