Hayley's P.O.V
"Are you going in?" Peyton asked me as she parked the Convertible in the overcrowded parking lot of the Airport. She dangled the keys from her hand, giving me a tired, exasperated look.
"I guess," I said unenthusiastically, opening my door and stepping out into the damp afternoon. I raised my head to the sky, realizing that it was going to pour within minutes.
"We'd better get inside," Peyton said, grabbing my arm and running like mad towards the entrance. "We're going to get soaked if we don't!"
I didn't argue. I ran with her to the doors, my hair falling into my face. Just as we entered the airport, the rain began falling in heavy torrents.
"That," Peyton said, trying to catch her breath, "was close."
I nodded my agreement. "It was," I said, panting.
"Now, which gate were they coming in from?" she wondered aloud, checking a piece of paper in her hand. "Ah! Okay. This way."
I followed her through several brightly-lit terminals, passing stores, restaurants and novelty shops along the way. With every step I took, it seemed like my heartbeat increased tenfold; the closer I walked towards Nathan's gate, the more nervous I became.
"Finally!" Peyton exclaimed a few minutes later as we reached the security checkpoint. "They won't let us past security, but Rachel told me that they'd meet us here."
I nodded, but didn't reply. Peyton and I found seats on a nearby bench, and we both plopped down onto it gratefully - our legs were tired from all the running and walking we'd been doing.
I focused my attention on the travelers passing through security, some dressed in business suits, others in jeans and T-shirts. The looks on each of their faces were the same, though: all of them appeared worn and tired, as if boarding a plane was the last thing they wanted to do. I didn't particularly blame them - flying had never been my favorite means of travel.
My eyes subconsciously scanned the crowd of tired travelers for a sign of dark brown hair and a pair of piercing, shining blue eyes. Once I realized what I'd been doing, however, I immediately averted my gaze to the floor. I had no idea why I was allowing myself to venture into such dangerous territory - I knew the risks, the fact that my heart would surely be broken - but somehow, I didn't seem to care as much as I had before.
Before I'd left for Tree Hill, I'd been fiery, assertive, independent. And now...now I was nothing more than a confused eighteen-year-old girl. I hated how I'd changed so drastically in such a short period of time. I'd allowed a man - the one thing I'd sworn would never affect me - change my attitude, my behavior. I'd allowed him, however unknowingly, change me into a girl I barely recognized anymore. All because I dared to look into his eyes, dared to take a chance I knew wouldn't be worth it in the end.
I had been right, as I usually was when it came to such matters. He'd had a girlfriend, something he'd failed to mention. But I knew, as I sat on that airport bench, surrounded by people, that it wouldn't have mattered. Even if he had told me of his status, I would have still taken the risk I knew I should have ignored. I would have still looked into his eyes, allowing my heart to flutter as they locked with mine.
But now, I was determined. I could feel my anger flaring within my chest, the anger that had considerably subsided since I'd met him. I could feel myself tensing, always on guard, always prepared. I could feel the girl I knew so well starting to resurface, overshadowing the girl I had become, the girl I would never allow myself to be again.
I would keep a safe distance from him now. I would make small talk with him on occasion, and I'd be friendly - but not friendly enough. I wouldn't allow myself to have feelings for him anymore. It wasn't only because of his girlfriend - it was because of me, my pride, my dignity. I was determined to never be so incredibly foolish again.
I breathed in slowly, deeply, calmly. I felt Peyton nudge me, and I knew that they were approaching us, so I kept breathing, steadily now, rhythmically.
I heard Rachel's squeals of delight as she spotted Peyton, and I felt my cousin stand up to greet her best friend. I could hear the others greeting her warmly, but no one had noticed me yet. It was better that way, I reasoned - perhaps then I wouldn't have to talk to Nathan at all.
I should have kept my eyes focused on the ground, on the millions of feet that scrambled across the shining white floor. I should have never allowed myself to look at them, to let my eyes meet his. But against my better judgment, I felt my head lifting, slowly, finally revealing myself to them. And as his eyes caught mine, I felt my heart beat faster, so fast I thought it would burst from my chest.
The first thing he did was smile. He smiled the way he had the first time I'd ever met him. My mind instantly flashed back to that night, the evening of the party, and I realized something I hadn't before. That was when it had all started. My feelings for Nathan had started that night nearly three weeks ago, and I had only just admitted to them now.
"Hayley," he said, his smile broadening, as he began moving towards me.
I stood up, my arms folded tightly across my chest. I wasn't smiling, and I didn't appear happy to see him - I must have looked extremely unwelcoming. But I didn't care. Not anymore. My caring days were over.
What he did next took me completely by surprise. He dropped his suitcase, letting it crash loudly against the floor. He took a few strides towards me, and it was almost like slow motion in the movies - time seemed to stand still. His smile was still resting happily on his lips, and I felt my heart flutter as he moved closer to me, his body only inches from my own.
Before I could react, before I could pull away, his arms wrapped themselves around my shoulders. He pulled me into him, embracing me for the first time since we'd met. His hands slid down my back a bit, resting comfortably between my shoulder blades. And just like that, in a single, solitary moment, my resolve shattered into a million microscopic pieces.
My arms soon found their way around his neck, and I pushed myself closer to him, my head resting on his chest. I breathed in his scent - it was earthy, refreshing - and I knew, from that moment on, that I was doomed.
"Hayley," Peyton said, looking at me with sympathetic eyes. She was sitting on my bed, resting her weight on her hands, her expression concerned. I hated that - I didn't want to be pitied.
"Peyton," I said in frustration, rolling my eyes for emphasis. "Really. I'm okay with this."
She sighed, and I knew she wasn't convinced. In all honesty, I wasn't convinced myself.
"You say that," Peyton said, staring at me intently, "but I don't think you mean it."
"Well, I do," I replied, slipping into my flip-flops. "Trust me for once, okay?"
"I do trust you. But I can't help but think that you're really bothered by this whole plan we've got going for tonight. I mean...you're going to meet his girlfriend."
"So what?" I said hotly. "I told you before, and I'm telling you again, that I do not like Nathan. All right?"
She sighed, then nodded reluctantly. "All right. Whatever you say."
I turned away from her, determined not to let her see the anger flashing in my eyes. The truth was that she was one hundred percent right, as she normally was. I was extremely bothered by the fact that tonight, I was meeting Nathan's girlfriend for the first time. I was certainly not looking forward to watching them kiss and hold hands and act like mindless idiots all night long.
After we'd gotten back from the airport two nights ago, Nathan had announced that Kate, his girlfriend, was dropping in for a visit. He had come up with the brilliant idea of suggesting that we all find dates and go to a new restaurant that had opened in Tree Hill. Needless to say, I wasn't exactly thrilled to be going.
The doorbell rang loudly, causing me to jump and emit a small squeal of surprise. Peyton snorted, rolling her eyes at me. "Shut up," I said, walking out of my room and down the hall to the door. My stomach was tying itself in knots - I was extraordinarily nervous to see the two people I knew were waiting just beyond the door.
Drawing in a deep, calming breath, I unlocked the door and pulled it open. Standing there, dressed in loose-fitting jeans and a vintage dress shirt, was Nathan. Beside him stood the same brunette girl I had seen on television at the premiere, wearing a small, tentative smile. I glared at her.
"Hey, Hayley," Nathan said, smiling and hugging me loosely. He motioned towards the girl. "This is Kate."
I nodded curtly, forcing a smile onto my lips. "Hi," I said as she extended her hand. "I'm Hayley."
"Nice to meet you," she said, still smiling.
"So, have the others gotten here yet?" Nathan asked as he led Kate into my father's living room.
I shook my head. "No, just Peyton," I replied. "Rachel and Lucas said they'd be here with their dates around seven."
"What about Jake?" he asked, a bit of an edge to his voice. "What time is he getting here to...uh...pick you up?"
I stared at him, a bit confused and surprised by his tone. "Well, he's not really 'picking me up' since we're all going to the restaurant together," I said, a bit more sharply than I'd intended. "But, he should be here any minute."
And, as if on cue, the doorbell rang. Tearing my eyes away from Nathan, I walked back over to the door and opened it. Jake stood there, holding a single lily - my favorite flower - in his hand.
"Hey," he said quietly, smiling. "This is for you."
"Jake," I said as I took the flower, "you didn't have to do that."
"I know. But I remembered you saying that lilies were your favorite flower, so I thought I'd get you one."
"Thank you," I said, and I meant it. It was sweet that he had remembered something like that, even if he wasn't exactly the person I wanted to spend my evening with. It wasn't that I didn't like Jake - he was an amazing person, and a great friend - but I would have rather spent the evening with Nathan, the one person I knew was off-limits.
Still, I smiled at Jake and allowed his arm to slip around my waist as he led me into the living room, away from Nathan's penetrating gaze.
"Another scotch on the rocks, please," Nathan said, holding up his empty glass for emphasis. The waitress smiled and nodded, politely asking if anyone else wanted anything more to drink. Everyone declined, save for Nathan, who slammed his glass on the table a bit too loudly.
I looked at him, a mix of concern and amusement shining within my eyes. He'd already downed four shots of scotch, and it didn't appear as though he would be stopping anytime soon. Kate shot him a reproachful look as he knocked over her half-empty glass of champagne, spilling the gold liquid all over the pure white tablecloth.
"Sorry about that, love," he apologized, his words slightly slurred. He grabbed a napkin and began mopping up the mess, finally stopping after Kate grabbed his hand and held it firmly within her own.
"He usually handles alcohol much better then this, you know," Rachel whispered from beside me, her voice laced with concern. "I don't understand why he's doing this."
I merely shrugged, trying desperately to be nonchalant about the situation, even though I inwardly cringed each time Nathan took a sip from his glass.
"So, Hayley," Nathan said loudly, breaking my attention away from Rachel. "Are you having a--" hiccup "--good time with Jake tonight?"
I looked at him sharply, wondering why he was acting so strangely. He had barely spoken two words to me all evening, and when he finally did, he was asking about Jake?
"Yeah, actually, I am," I said, smiling slightly in Jake's direction. He returned it, but quickly dropped his gaze as Nathan glared at him.
"Well, that's fantastic," he said, grabbing his glass and downing its contents in one gulp. "Just bloody fantastic."
"Nathan, maybe we should go," Kate suggested, shooting everyone an apologetic smile. "You don't seem well tonight."
"No, Kate, I'm fine," he said with a dry laugh. "Perfect, actually. Brilliant."
"Nate, mate, maybe Kate's right," Jake said cautiously, choosing his words carefully. "Why don't you go home and get some sleep?"
"All right," he said angrily, slamming his glass onto the table and standing up abruptly. He staggered a bit before steadying himself on the back of Kate's chair. "I can see when I'm not bloody wanted. Maybe the rest of you should leave as well, to give Jake and Hayley some privacy."
"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" I said, glaring at him. I felt as though I had just been slapped - his words stung and left me shaking in anger.
He opened his mouth to reply, but apparently thought better of it. Instead, he placed his hand on Kate's back and said, "Let's just go home."
She nodded, standing up, an embarrassed smile on her face. She and Nathan left quietly.
A thick, uncomfortable silence hung over our table as we watched Nathan and Kate leave the restaurant. Jake shifted beside me, his leg brushing against my own. And in that moment, I remembered that night under the stars, when Nathan's leg had so casually brushed against mine, sending a series of shivers down my spine. But now, with Jake, there was nothing.
But maybe, I reasoned, there wasn't supposed to be anything there. Maybe those shivers that had raced so unexpectedly throughout my body were reserved for the man who had just left the restaurant with another woman on his arm.
I dug my fingernails deep into the palms of my hands, barely aware of the pain. Somehow, it didn't seem to compare to the dull ache in my chest, the ache that let me know that the game was over, and I had lost.
