A SONGFIC! I heard this song and this idea slammed straight into me. It hurt.

Some, body once told me the world is gonna roll me...

Pffft. It's already tried.

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.

…I am, actually. Or my ego just boosts it.

She was lookin' kinda dumb…

Heh… True…

With her finger and her thumb, in the shape, of an "L" on her forehead.

Sounds like Val to me.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming.

I'm over 100 years old for god's sake! I think I know that!

Back to the rule and I hit the ground running.

…Well, that's true.

It didn't make sense not to live for fun,

I saw my family murdered in front of my eyes- Oh screw this!

Skulduggery turned off his MP3 player and stood straight. He straightened his coat and put his headphones away.

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

He was glaring at the floor, looking at his reflection in puddles. His face had light blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. It wafted gently in the breeze. Suddenly, he walked into a lamp post.

So much to do, so much to see.

Skulduggery glanced at his phone. He shot it up to his eyes. 19 messages and 43 missed calls? Oh boy.

So what's wrong with taking the back streets?

He legged it into the alley way, jumping over rubbish bags.

You'll never know if you don't go.

He scampered up a fence and then…

You'll never shine if you don't glow.

He clicked, sending flames into his hands and hurling them at the zombie horde before him.

Damned back-streets, he thought.

Hey now, you're an All-Star. Get your game on, go play.

"Fetch!" He teased. He threw a piece of meat into an electric fence.

Hey now, you're a Rock star. Get the show on, get paid.

He watched the zombies dash for the meat, causing a light show and gurgles of pain. It was pretty rewarding.

All that glitters is gold.

He tapped his façade down, now walking casually towards a building. His skull glittered in the rain. "I'm pretty sure my head isn't gold, Smash Mouth." He murmured, remembering the song lyrics.

Only shooting stars, break the mold.

When he got into The Sanctuary, he was greeted by Cleavers, pointing their weapons at him.

"Skulduggery Pleasant?"

"Yes?"

"You're under arrest."