An update! This one's actually quite different. I decided to bear with you folks and give you some smut in return for you having endured all my psychology lectures and ramblings. Oh and by the way, in case it actually exists and there's some copyright law on it, I don't own 'Fuckzilla' either (in addition to not owning Beyblade).
*gubas –coming from the Russian word guba meaning 'lips'
**viddying –Nadsat (if I'm not mistaking), -meaning 'watching'
xxx
. .
Chapter VIII
On Amusement II, Dignity II and Finger Twitching
. .
xxx
'Itzy Bitzy spider, luh-la, luh-la-la,
Down came the rain, and washed poor Itzy out.
Up came the sun and luh-la, luh-la-la,
And Itzy Bitzy spider went luh-la, luh-la-la.'
'Are you mental?'
The kid roared its ugly face at me while its mother, quite visibly, grabbed for it's arm and dragged it away from me, in an superficial and clearly acted attempt of making it appear she'd been doing her best to keep her oh-so-ugly son from bothering me. I opposed these 'efforts' by leaning down as close as possible to the ugly little face and stating:
'yes'
Silenzio...
The Mom groped the ugly kids arm and pulled it away from me. For real, this time.
'Maxie, come!'
'Maxie? Oh what are the odds?' In my favour of course, as always! What other is there to expect? I leaned back down to the kid and informed it: 'Though I wasn't as ugly as you when I was your age...'
The mother roughly tugged at the kid and posed in a quite gangster way in front of it, as if she were doing me the pleasant favour of keeping the ugliness out of the reach of my eyes.
'What are you doing here in front of a day-care centre? You creep!'
'Oi, oi, oi, what's with the insult my lovely lady. Someone as beautiful as you shouldn't use such ugly language.'
I glared back at the child. '...As a matter of fact, someone as beautiful as you shouldn't have born such an ugly child.' (it is quite amazing, how ugliness has this effect, that even though it repulses, you just cannot keep your eyes off it. it's like when you have some sort of sore in your mouth, even though it hurts, you just have to keep on tabbing it with your tongue, real horrorshow)
The woman was about to slap me and oh joy would that have been entertaining (a hypocritical, scandalous, despicable action, in front of the eyes of her son and all the children of the day-care centre, and most important of all, showcasing me as the 'victim' on the receiving end of it) however fate had it bad with me that day, so it seems, as in the blink of the moment, someone stepped in between us and took the bitch's bitch slap in my place.
'Oh Nikolaj! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hit you.' the woman sobbed apathetically as she realised the error.
The young man who she had addressed, cowardly and spinelessly accepted the apology, then turned towards me: 'So seriously, why are you here?'
I angled my arms and pressed my hands against my sides, imitating that oh-so-ominous stance that old ladies and teachers always did, when they hoped to awe you.
'As a matter of fact, I'm looking for a harlot.' Then I stepped up on my trippy little tip toes to give Kai a chaste kiss on the gubas. 'As a matter of fact, seems like I found one.'
Despite my truly tremendous efforts and even risking receiving an oh-so-violent slap by a near crazy and vandalous woman, he didn't appear all too impressed.
'I'm not your bitch.'
I wouldn't have minded that statement, that were if it came with some more passion and fury, however, he said it in that bored tone, the one he always used, he, the bore he was. Another example of this induced proper attitude towards society, was him spending a bit of time explaining to that poor, poor woman who was so tremendously shocked over the open display of most atrocious homosexuality, that I was just some silly, mentally disturbed boy from school (a description which I actually quite fancied). Then we went on, walking to his apartment.
'I still need to get changed. I can't go to school wearing my daddy-outfit.' he informed me.
I groped his bum. 'Oh I'll help you with it, with pleasure that is.'
'I told you I needed to get changed, not that I wanted to have sex with you.' he hissed, in a tone as if those two previously named things were actually not the same.
xxx
My will, I didn't actually get (I told you, fate was not on my side that day), however I did get some steamy tongue twisting and finger fiddling (if you know what I mean, -South of the border, to give you a hint). And I ought to say, even though it was probably Kai's first attempt, he was doing a damn, iniquitous, amazingly, reprobate, illegally, odious, ridiculously, reputable, outrageously BAD job at it!
'Oh, oh, man, you suck…unfortunately not 'cock' that is.' I informed him.
He moved away from my crotch and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
'Well excuse me for trying!' he said in a bitter tone.
That sobby, truly hurt expression in his face actually quite pleased me, more actually, than both his hand and blow job attempts combined, so I leaned in for the kiss, this time, North of the boarder this time (just wanted to be a bit proper myself, heh, for a change).
-But oh-most-shocking: he pushed me away.
'Hey-he-hey, what's that all about?'
He didn't answer, instead he pinned me down on the bed and hovered over me. If I may remark, he did have quite a good built, if you overlooked his silly fear of being seen naked, that is. A strong and heavy bosom, just the way I liked it. I liked it muscular too of course. And muscular it was. But contrary to what his body may portray, Kai was weak. So I pulled him down and kissed those lips, those weak, weak lips. And it was almost like doing an act of charity.
He was into it too, he enjoyed it of course. He allowed my tongue to slob over his, and to exchange bacterial fluids. Then he allowed mine to stroke the inside of his gubas, and to tickle against his teeth.
'I'm not your bitch.' he hissed, -suddenly but repeatedly. The words were choked and spoken, quite fast actually. He wanted to bring across his statement, and then continue with the slobbing. Oh I could tell! My dear reader, dear Kai couldn't fool me! I purposely broke away from him, -just to piss the hell out of him.
'You still going on about that, heh?'
He nodded innocently, then suddenly broke out into timid giggling.
'I'm being silly aren't I?'
That question made me smile. That's all it did. It didn't make me answer, it made me smile.
However it made Kai move his hand, down to where it belonged. And it made his second attempt better, -which came quite handy on my part (pun intended).
xxx
Kai was one of those weird people. The kind that was too ashamed to look you in the eyes after a make-out session, that didn't like to be seen naked, that would get all funny and reserved after a tiny bit of intimacy. Too proper, seeing 'expressed lust' as a weakness. Oh yes, weak he was. But for a different reason. He was the kind that was aware of the phony superficiality of the modern age. Like hell, he was aware, he even used it in his favour, controlling people thoughts and expectations off him merely by the way he dressed in different occasions ( I could tell he had quite a joyous time, presenting himself as a teenage rebel without even having to act this part, oh-most-wonderful, I'd wish I had gotten into that idea myself). However, Kai was scared of these patterns of society. Scared and hence controlled by them. Which is why, instead of acting all happy-cute-couple with me, he stood a couple of meters away, with his back turned towards me. Pulling on his trousers with nervously twitching fingers.
It made me wonder how he did it, the finger twitching that is. Whenever I'd get nervous or excited, my fingers remained under my command. It was boring.
'You don't need to act like that, it's not like we fucked.' I yelled.
This time his whole body twitched.
'We didn't. And it's not like we ever will.'
He kept his voice stoic and dry, which deemed pointless to me, as I had already been able to tell that he was nervy. No point in hiding it.
I jumped off the bed, causing the springs to make a shrill ehh-ahh sound, announcing my act to Kai, as if they were warning him. So a bunch of lousy bed springs weren't on my side, no big deal. I was still able to conquer. And yes how I did conquer him. Sneaking up to him as he still had his back turned towards me, and then, going for the catch: Looking his naked torso in a tight arm grip.
'Max, get off.'
His body was twitching again.
'I don't want to.'
He blushed. But didn't say anything.
'Oh dear Kai, am I making you feel all dirty. Oh I am aren't I?'
I mocked him.
-And I enjoyed it.
'Oh you were such a naughty, naughty boy, back, only a couple o' minutes ago. Very naughty.'
-He didn't.
'Get off me Max.'
Unfortunately he was stronger than me and 'got me off'. And in order to keep me off, he held my wrists in a tight grip.
'Stop that, you're hurting me!'
He let go immediately, but he did have the 'courtesy' of adding a snappy comment. 'It's not like you didn't deserve it.'
I laughed. 'So, so.'
For some reason he was being really pissy.
'You could tell that I felt a bit uncomfortable and you still went on. Why? Because you enjoy making others suffer. It pleases you, doesn't it?'
'Oh yes, dear Kai, it does.' It did, it did.
'I don't seem to be very dear to you.' he hissed.
I didn't reply him on that one, I didn't feel like it. Instead, I grinned at him in great amusement.
'Well Max, in fact you are dear to many people. Hiro, Tyson, that Chinese fella…, but you treat it all like a joke, isn't that right?'
'Sure is!' This was getting entertaining. Yours truly!
'Oh what am I saying? That's all life is to you, a joke. Am, I right? And we're just figures in your game, for your amusement, am I right?'
Geez, I couldn't understand why he kept on wanting re-assurance for his statements. He had it all figured out after all, and he was so awfully proud off it too. Not like it was very hard at all.
Suddenly, he laughed.
'It was obvious from beginning on. I knew it, and I still went on with it. I felt that I was exactly like you Max, just searching for entertainment. And it's the truth. I am. My life has become such a weak and pathetic junk of bullshit, I wanted entertainment. I wanted that good old feeling of control. I wanted it back.'
I clapped him on the back, as some sort of reward for his epiphany.
'Good on ya man, proud of you.' I didn't mean it. I didn't care much for his realisation or confession or whatever that was, at all. All I knew was that it had great entertainment value.
'So is everything all back to normal now, heh?' I asked for assurance.
'No, with us, it's over.'
'Over?' Was he going insane himself now? He needed me. I knew he did.
He smirked. And this smirk oh my dear reader, I wish you had seen it. It was truly malicious, eccentric. Beautiful.
'I'm not your bitch, Max. I never suited that role, but I seem to always be taking it when I'm with you.'
His whole control plan, by trying to perform it, he had been going against himself. How ironic.
He reached out a hand for me to shake. This time it was not a cry for help. Weak, little Kai had set a milestone. I didn't shake his hand. Instead, I gave him another faint kiss, barely even touching the surface of his lips. This time, it was not for charity.
xxx
I was off to school. Actually, we both had a free period that morning (him having a double, opposing to my single, that bastard). I would have still had time to spare, but in all honesty, I had been afraid that staying at Kai's place for any longer would tremendously bore me. And I didn't want that. I wanted to savour the memory of Kai showing me a different side of him. One that wasn't obedient and submissive. This other side of him, I ought to confess, had been strangely entertaining. I caught myself thinking, that our relationship was a loss, almost worthy to be sad about. Almost.
Arriving at school I was greeted in great anticipation by my mushies: moronic Tyson and neurotic Rei. I could tell they were keen on questioning me about something, but they lacked the necessary guts to get to the point. Either way, their struggle was quite amusing. Just when Rei appeared to have grown balls the oh-so-cruel school bell urged us to go to class. Truly a pity.
It was history class. Something about the Second World War and the occupation of East Prussia. How Germany had surrendered it to the Soviet Power. The teacher was chatting on about what happened to the people of East Prussia, but I didn't quite listen. I was too occupied with my daydream. To me, Superpowers always had something fascinating about them. The way they could conquer and overpower inferior nations. Fantastic! What bugged me was why they didn't do it? What were they waiting for? If I were one of the leaders of a Superpower country, it wouldn't take me long. It would be like the Roman Empire all over again. Just bigger! And more tyrannic! Oh bliss...
'Mr Tate. Would you like to share your thoughts?' the teacher urged me.
Oh yes I would, I'd like it very much. Oh how lovely it would be to see the expressions of pure shock and horror on their faces when I were to announce my rank and glorious plan to them. But it wasn't the right time yet. I would wait for the correct time, and then it would be big…
'I'm sorry, sir, I was just thinking.' Sweet Max whispered.
'Well in that case, how about you tell me your thoughts concerning East Prussia.'
'Uhm, …that's where Kai's from!'
I could have slapped myself for that answer. What the hell was up with that? Why was Kai spooking in my mind? I looked around the room; of course I had made a total fool out of myself. People were laughing at me. I couldn't believe it! They were supposed to be there for my entertainment, not the other way around! What kind of perverse order was this? And it didn't end there to all excess: after class, while I walked off to take a piss, Tyson approached me:
'You must really love him, heh?'
He gave me a cheeky smile and poked my side. 'Heh, heh?'
'Excuse me!'
That, was just downright repulsive.
Tyson continued on giggling.
'I know about you two, Maxie.'
'Well obviously, you saw us kissing. Even a moron like you should be able to draw conclusions.'
I had seen him the day before. He had walked inside the house even though I had ignored him ringing the door bell. Usually he didn't do that kind of stuff. He might be dense but he did have somewhat of a respect for privacy. But that day he didn't. In fact, I didn't mind. I had figured, it would do me a favour that he knew. A big favour that was:
Entertainment!
'Hey, no need to get all offensive. I'm fine with you two being…' he chuckled '… together.'
He was enjoying this way too much, I could tell, and it pissed the hell out of me. Where was my entertainment? Fate seriously took a toll on me that morning.
'Well, it wouldn't matter, because we're not together anymore.' I snapped at him.
'You're not?' he actually seemed disappointed, which was strange. To me it had always appeared he disliked Kai. He'd probably put aside this dislike for something silly as 'respect for my happiness' or some bull like that. Well I hoped that I at least had caused him some sort of moral dilemma the night before.
'I'm really sorry about that Maxie. Is there anything I can do? We could go eat ice-cream together, on my bill. That might cheer you up.'
Then suddenly, I got an idea.
A terrible idea.
A terrible, wonderful idea.
A terrible, wonderful, cruel idea.
'Yes!' I said.
'Yes to ice-cream?' he asked, his voice jittering with excitement.
I giggled. Oh what an innocent mind he had. An innocent mind soon to be corrupted. -By me!
'Yes Tyson, I want to go on a date with you.'
'A date, wait Maxie, you got it all…'
Wrong? Oh yes, I was aware of that, that's why there was no need in me hearing him out. Instead I pressed a smutty, wet kiss onto his lips.
Oh this was the height of entertainment. Oh glory! One of the best ideas I'd had in a long time. Not only would it allow me to corrupt Tyson and make him my bitch, it would also cause a conflict between him and Hiro. Two brothers being involved with the same person, oh that sounded like some corny Hollywood bullshit. But it real life, that might actually be amusing!
There was also another little thought, hiding in one of the blankest corners in the back of my brain. A thought, contemplating how Kai would receive all this.
But I didn't think much of it. I put that ominous little thought back into a cupboard of my mind, where it belonged, and focused on the present.
Kissing Tyson was different to kissing Kai or Hiro. That was mainly due to the fact that those two were actually kinda good at it. Hiro for example, wouldn't stand there like a stiff statue. He would start getting his hands all over me and grope me. And Kai would go for tongue. He was not a very touchy-feely person, hence would keep his limbs to himself, but he would spice up the kiss itself.
Well Tyson, -well he stood there like a complete idiot, with his arms pressed compactly to his body and his eyes still wide open. I had tried to push my tongue through, but he had his lips pressed together tighter than an emo's pants.
I figured that I had still managed to bring across my point so I broke free from him to be able to witness the turmoil and shock I had caused, that was probably going on in his innocent, naïve mind at the moment. It was quite amusing how he kept on pulling faces as he appeared to be thinking of the matter. Hence I decided, I had to add more sap.
'Tyson, you're always so kind to me. I never realised. But now, I think, I might actually -you know- love you.'
…That was some of the biggest bullshit I had spoken in a long, long time, but Tyson's timid nod made it worthwhile.
xxx
Nothing remotely interesting happened for the reminder of the school day, so I'm not even going bother summarizing it for you, my dear reader. Instead I'll jump right to the evening (the evenings are the fun parts of the days anyways). That particular evening, I was sitting in front of the telly, viddying a video. In fact, it was porn, starring our darling companion, Mr Hiro Kinomya. I actually quite enjoyed viddying this one as it actually had somewhat of a plot and Hiro hence had some acting to do. He was an exceptionally bad actor, yours truly! He was a good screwer, but a bad actor.
-It made me wonder if Kai was a good screwer. He wasn't a virgin, that was for sure. I call in a four year old little rat as a witness of that. So yea, it made me wonder.-
In a particularly boring part of the movie, in which the lead girl for no apparent reason or plotting effect started 'experimenting' with her female friend, I decided to experiment a little myself: I held my hand in front of my eyes, not close enough to block my view, however close enough to have it in focus while still being able to see all five digits erect. I held it very still. Isn't it ironic: whenever you try purposely to hold something still, it starts consuming your every thought and becomes very hard to accomplish, I'm sure you know that feeling. It's like the thing with the sore in your mouth, just that this is a more physical reaction.
And oh bliss, I could see my middle finger twitch. Then the index finger. The thumb. Pinkie. Oh what a joy it was to watch, my fingers having small millicent seizures, like criminals being executed in the electric chair, just small scale.
-It was harder to get the ring finger to twitch, probably because it shares a flexor muscle with the middle and pinkie. But I accomplished it, and oh how fun it was to watch! It brought a big, big smile on my face, indeed. There was no big twitch, it was minimal, but I had induced it. So it was better!
'Son, I'm home!'
That was my Dad interrupting me.
He even walked into the living room to check on me.
'What are you watching, son?'
(Oh isn't it annoying, my dear reader, how fathers always appear to have the urge to attach 'son' to the end of every statement. Phoniness of modern age. Induced OCD.)
'Fuckzilla.' I told him.
'What is it about?' he asked, staring at the screen with quite a lost expression on his face.
'It's this fictional bologna about a dinosaur destroying New Amsterdam. There's a reporter bitch who screws a scientist with a radiologically enlarged penis to get inside info to the incident.' I answered with clenched teeth, which made me sound somewhat like The Brain of 'The Pinky and The Brain'. I liked that.
And Dad seemed to finally have realised what kind of movie it was I was watching, all thanks to my through and informative summary (seriously, that's all it was about).
'Maxie, are you watching porn?'
In his shock he must have forgotten to add the 'son'.
'Well what other movie genre would include the word 'fuck' in the title?'
'Wow, uhm, son…' Dammit remembered it again. '…I think we should maybe have a little talk, you know, the Talk.'
'Dad, I know all there is to know, I'm not a virgin.'
He appeared somewhat disappointed. Oh how entertaining it was to watch him realize that his innocent, sweet little Maxie was not so innocent at all. In fact, it was so incredibly entertaining, I almost let my guard down.
'Uhm, Daddy…' Sweet Max stuttered.
'Yes.' Daddy replied.
'I don't wanna be rude, and I know the storyline isn't exactly complex but I still kinda wanna understand the movie, so do you mind, you know, leaving me to it?'
He started blushing. Mumbled something and then left Sweet Max to it. Unfortunately the peace didn't last long. Shortly after, the door bell rung. Dad had the courtesy to open the door, but it didn't really change much as the visitor was intended for me.
'Max, it's Tyson for you.' Dad yelled from the hallway.
Oh bollocks! It meant for me that I'd have to stop viddying my video. That had been the deal. No telling Ty about Hiro-Porn. It didn't literally mean 'no viddying Ty Hiro-Porn' but I didn't wanna piss Hiro off, cause at a matter of fact, Hiro was very entertaining to me. So I shut off the telly like a good boy and walked to the front door. Ty was awaiting me, holding two ice cream cones. On he pressed in my hand.
'I promised you ice cream. I brought you strawberry, I know you like that one.'
I nodded, to be honest, my favourite one was the pure milk one. The one that's only composed of milk and sugar. It has no artificial or non-matching flavours, because it's only supposed to taste of sugar. And sugar it tastes of. You never get disappointed.
'What were you boys planning on doing?' Dad asked us. I didn't tell him me and Ty were intending on going on a 'date'. It would have been entertaining, but now wasn't the right time. The right time would come, and then it would hit him hard.
Instead I told him we were merely going for a walk (which was probably all it would turn out to be, it was Tyson after all, he wasn't exactly what you could call a 'love machine'). Before he could ask any annoyingly boring or boringly annoying questions, I skipped over the doorstep and smashed the door behind me. Fuck it was cold! Should've grabbed a jacket, but whatever, it was better to bear the cold than my Dad.
'Hi Maxie.' Tyson suddenly said, he was blushing a deep shade of red. The equally sudden, he gave me a tender and slow hug, very unlike the stormy ones he'd usually give me.
Oh yea, the dating thing. Quite entertaining how seriously he took it. I noticed how he'd even attempted to 'dress up' for me, which in Tyson's case literally meant a dress shirt, pine stripe blazer and a tie. Pretty damn silly!
'So ahm, should we go to the park or something?' he suggested.
Although I was pending more towards the 'or something' I decided to play the part of Sweet Max once again, and agreed with the park plan.
Then Tyson started to fiddle with my hand, which was when I realised, he wanted to hold hands so I reached it out to him. He grabbed it quickly and then, contrasting his previous movement softly enclosed it with his fingers.
Hehe, I wished for Kai to pop up at sometime during this evening. Love to see his reaction me and pathetic, little Tyson holding hands, like a kindergarten couple.
We ended up walking alongside for a while, licking our ice cream. Tyson was surprisingly quiet while we strolled around the park. Quite boring actually. And his hand was sweaty.
'Let's sit.' I ordered him.
We sat down on a random piece of black grass (black because it was dark already). Tyson was keeping to himself, not saying a word. Outsiders might have guessed that he was strongly in love with me. But I knew better. I had been neglecting him lately, yes, I was well aware of that. It was because he bored me. And by accepting to be my 'boyfriend' he was able to get closer to me again. Tyson was no victim, he was using me. Abusing –if I were actually love sick, but Kai's separation didn't affect me much, so he was only just using me.
'Fuck, it's cold.'
Okay, bear with me, as I seriously couldn't bear it any longer.
Then, to my surprise, I felt something warm around my shoulders. Tyson had given me his blazer, to keep me warm. Oh what a phoney little suck up he was!
'Tyson do you love me?' I asked him, as innocently as can be.
'Yes.' he stumbled nervously.
Wrong answer!
I kissed him.
I pushed him down on the hard grass and kissed him. My tongue slobbering over his lips in a quite grotesque way. He let it happen. He didn't move. Not at all.
xxx
I had Polynomics the next day. I let myself down on my newly acclaimed seat next to Kai and flashed him my biggest, ugliest grin. He chuckled in return.
'Ya had a fulfilling day mush?' I asked him.
'No.'
'Nup, me neither. But I did have quite fulfilling evening!'
'Really?' he raised an eyebrow in scepticism. So we were back to that business again.
'Oh yes mush, oh yes. Didn't have the good old in-out. But good old fashioned entertainment nonetheless. But no telling to you, mush! Wouldn't want to spill all my secrets to you in one go. Wouldn't want to be a bore from then on. Righty-right!'
Then he gave me an honest and sincere smile. Honesty and sincerity being so rare to witness for a witness of the modern age.
And then, my dear reader, my ring finger twitched.
xxx
. .
So this was it, I hope it made kinda sense to you. To be brief: Tyson went along with Max because he was afraid of Max distancing himself from him. He saw it as an opportunity to get close to Max again, as a person. Neither of them have any feelings for each other. It's an example of the superficiality of the modern age.
….
And the whole finger twitching, it's a metaphor for Kai's and Max' unsteady relationship and their suppressed realisation of feelings for each other.
xxx
Hope you still enjoyed it, although it was odd. If yes (or no) please leave a comment. Thank you!
