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Please note that the following contains some Christianity Views. I figured it to be acceptable. Given the Backstory S.M gave Carlisle.
FINDING HOME:
(Part 2)
A Twilight's Eclipse – Breaking Dawn AU Fanfiction
By Fantasy Writer
Nicole "Nicki" Swan's POV:
It had been almost a full week since that fateful trip to Seattle with Rosalie.I hadn't had much to say since I told Charlie the news. I was still trying to wrap my head around it and so was he.
The real challenge though was telling Seth, a wolf cannot live without his imprint. Which only makes this ten times worse.I couldn't do that to him but it appears I have no choice.
My source of relief these days apart from the pack was the words of the Bible and my Christian music.
During my time behind bars I not only went through detox but I found Jesus Christ and have been a follower ever since. I am sinner and that means "I'm not perfect and I make bad decisions" But like the good book says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" I have to remind myself of that daily along with: "Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you" and "For if you do not forgive others, neither will your heavenly father forgive you"
Which is why I try so hard not to hate Edward Cullen or others who wronged me, no matter how mad I get.
I'd just rather not mess with them but I kind of have to for family (aka Bella.) I just…don't do vulnerable. And with Hair Gel, I feel cornered and forced to justify myself. So I get angry and defensive like I've always done. Sad truth is though, I'm getting tired and I don't want to spend my last 9 nine months fighting. I'm gonna need all my energy to keep my heart beating. What to do? … What to do…?
I had taken to wearing headphones with my portable disc player to bed. Listening to "Amazing Grace" as I drifted off. So I almost didn't hear the doorbell ring and Charlie answer it at ten o clock at night. He had fallen asleep in the chair during a rebroadcast of the game.
"Dr. Cullen..?" he yawned before stepping aside. "Please come in, what can I do for you?"
"Charlie," the vampire doc greeted entering the house. "I apologize for the late hour, I just got off shift at the hospital. But I wanted to talk to you about something pertaining to Nicki"
Charlie was fully alert now as he ushered the doctor to the kitchen table. "Would you like some coffee?" he offered, noticing Carlisle's dark eyes.
"No thank you Charlie, I'm going straight home after this"
"Okay" said Charlie, pulling out a chair to sit on. "What's on your mind Doc?"
Carlisle took a seat across, coping him.
"Bella mentioned the other night when she was over that Nicki wasn't doing so well when Alice asked about a slumber party for the girls. So I thought I would come check on her. I understand it that Rosalie took her to the Hospital in Seattle for a checkup on her legs and she had a reaction to the medication she was taking?"
"Yes she did" said Charlie, "and they prescribed some new meds. They seem to be agreeing with her" I could hear the forlornly tiredness in his voice. Carlisle knew there was something else but didn't address it.
"You know, Bella also said that you've been working extra shifts. So if you need someone to watch Nicki at night? You can call us or she can stay over? We'd love to have her"
"Dr. Cullen..."
"Is this about what happen before with Alice?"
"No," Charlie waved him off, "That's in the past… Nicki right now needs to be in a stress free environment. Though she tries for Bella, the fact is that she and your boy, Edward do not get along…"
"Charlie, I promise you: Edward though opinionated,"
I heard a quiet "Hey," from Hair Gel's perch upstairs.
"-Is very much a gentleman." he concluded, I snorted in disbelief. Believe it when I see it
"Look… I appreciate the offer Dr. Cullen. But it's not going to work… I have a lot of guilt… when it comes to Nicki. I haven't always done the right thing. Some stuff… I had no control over. I want her to have the best life she can"
I think Carlisle was either starting to catch on or knew but wanted it confirmed.
"What are you saying Charlie?"
"Nicki's dying and she's only going to get worse as time goes on" he broke down sobbing.
I heard a chair squeak as it was pushed back.
"I am so sorry Charlie" It took a minute for my uncle to compose himself "It's her heart… I'm working those extra shifts to pay for her medical expenses. Bella doesn't know yet and Nicki wants her privacy. This is all too much to take at once" he sighed.
I fell asleep not long afterwards but I did know that Hair Gel knew my secret… for real this time. I just never assumed his actions that took place the very next afternoon after school.
It started out like any other time walking home.
I was alone happily listening to the song birds and crickets chirping in the nearby woods. I just barely got in putting my bag down when there was a knock at the door. I opened it leaving the screen coming face to face with Edward.
"Bella's not here, she went shopping with Alice I think."
"I know, I actually came to see you"
"Why?" I blinked, suspicious.
"We need to talk,"
I couldn't believe this guy. "Say whatever it is that you're going to say Edward. I don't have the energy to fight with you. Then please go away"
"Aren't you going to invite me in?" he asked/demanded.
"No 'cause when Charlie's not here and Bella's not here, this is my sanctuary. And you are not welcome" I told him.
He shifted awkwardly for show. "Look… Nicki this is really important."
I huffed, "Fine, I'll be right out in the backyard" not wanting to cause a scene for the neighborhood. I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. All of my earlier walking left me dehydrated. I headed out the backdoor and he was there.
"You wanted to talk? So talk" I halted on the porch, just short of the first step.
He sighed, "We got off on the wrong foot somewhere along the line, Nicki. I honestly don't know where it started -"
"It started," I told him.
"When you tried to "dazzle" private information out of me. After I told you that you had nothing to worry about as far as "the Secret" is concerned. Violating my privacy and showing no regard for boundaries" I said, walking down the steps. "Then after that disaster with Alice and I came over to your house… Edward, that meeting was about making amends and starting fresh. You decide dazzling won't work. So instead, you demand answers from me when I help Jasper relieve himself from something very painful. Like I owed you!"
I was livid at this point. Marching up and poking him in his chest: "I owe you nothing!"
Before retracing my steps backing away. Taking a deep breath, calming down I said. "Finally, you try to project and cram your own beliefs down Bella's and my throat about Human life. Which is a load of crap since you're not even one… At least not now, in this time period. I understand it was different back when you were growing up:
-Both parents married,
-Dad went to work while Mom stayed home with the children.
-Food on the stove, fire in the hearth.
But I can a grantee you, It wasn't perfect.
-There was WWI going on.
-Times were harsh especially for the poor.
-Business were closing, one whole big mess!
You lost everything unless you were better off in high society, even then you lost some. Then came the Spanish flu as you know.
Nowadays:
-we have so many divorced parents.
-Orphans in the foster system.
-Young adults joining the service, even out of high school so they can get a paycheck.
-Starvation, out of work, the list goes on.
Humanity is not a Utopia and you're such an Inyo ramous if you think otherwise. Another thing: when you say "Normal life" I got news for you pal, what is considered "Normal" for one is not for others. There is no one on this entire planet that has had the exact same life and its experiences… We're ALL different and we lead different lives… And we each have a God given right to choose our own path. Something no Man nor Creature has the right to take away… Yet some do, and it's wrong!
Bottom line is: I am not going grovel and kiss ass, so you will tell me:
Who I should be and How I should act. Take me or leave me. I am not dirt under your feet, because I know who I am and that's not about to change…" I stated, taking a breath. "Now, if you can accept that and want to get to know the real me? You are more than welcome to ask questions and be the so called "gentleman" your father claims. Otherwise please… Stay away from me. Because I really don't need this crap on top of everything else I'm going through."
I concluded my speech turning around and marching up the porch steps, holding on to the railing.
"Oh" I said as a thought came to mind. "And I'm not just shooting off my mouth here. These "Words of Wisdom" about people are actual life lessons I had to learn in the school of hard knocks: Prison"
Edward raised his head from where it had been hanging in shame.
I took a long deep breath, shifting the gears in my brain for this next part. "But… we've seem to have gone off the track here. Say whatever it is you are going to,"
waiting.
"I really messed things up with you, didn't I?"
"Yeah, you screwed it" I agreed, leaving the bite out of my words. Hair Gel blinked in surprise, clearly he never got this reaction. "I'm not Bella, Edward. I don't sugar coat or mince words. I will tell you how it is"
he considered this, "Then… if I have done all the things you've said, I must be a bigger monster than I thought."
"Your words, not mine. I will tell you this though, it is our actions not our species that define a monster. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. In spite of that, he offers mercy and grace. Should we repent and come to him."
He scoffed, "Our kind is beyond that."
"You can stand there snort all you like for it is your right. But if you could, try to think on this:"
I offered, "If Vampire kind has been around for thousands of years like they claim. Why weren't they washed away in the Great Flood that cover the Earth? I believe every creature has a soul. If they didn't, they wouldn't be alive. As it says "Earth to Earth and Dust to Dust. From dust you were formed and dust you shall return. Food for thought."
Wow! I actually stumped Edward Cullen! I could tell by the look on his face.
"Yes, I'm a Christian but I'm not a Bible thumper. I believe in free will and that's the last I'm going to speak to you on the matter unless you ask… Again we've gotten off the subject, what did you come here to say?"
"I just wanted to tell you that I am really sorry for your illness and I would try to make things easier for you. You see… Alice, Esme and Rosalie really want to have you over at our house from time to time, even Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle agree. But it won't happen unless I stop upsetting you. So I came over to find out what it was every time a fight breaks out between us. Now that I know it's because of something that I say or do. I will disappear when you're over, probably go on a long hunting trip. So you won't be stressed out"
I hit my forehead with the palm of my hand. He didn't get it!
"Just… Respect my privacy, Let me be me and Don't order me around"
putting it as simply as I could.
Hair Gel blinked as I saw understanding finally dawn in his eyes behind the self-pity…
