Chapter Eleven: Typical Day

"I just think you're a little mean to him, Com. Waking him up by kicking him, calling him names, critiquing him so heavily. Is it really necessary?" Blake and I are walking side-by-side, on our way to our next class. This comment seems to have come a little out of left field. I look at her and shake my head.

"You see, Blake, it's a little different for us. Me and Eadie are not only close friends who have known each other for years at this point, but we have cocks. That changes everything. Do you know why?"

"Umm, what? How does being a man change anything?" Blake looks fairly confused now, as many women are when they are about to understand the inner workings of the male.

"Well, typically, guys are much less sensitive than women. While you're endearing to your female friends by complementing them, we guys insult and deprecate. It's a form of flattery. Eadie does the same to me, and I do it back. It shows how good our friendship is. Let me put it this way; what would you tell your friend if she told you she got a partner who loves her?"

Blake thinks for a sec before responding. "I'd probably congratulate her and say I was happy for her."

"Well the classic male response is to ask if our friend's partner is either blind or insane. That's the male way, I guess." I light a cigarette and offer it to Blake, who politely refuses. My response comes in the form of a shrug and a long drag, followed by gazing into the middle-distance.

"Why do you smoke?"

"Hmm?" I kind of tuned out for a second there. "Come again?"

"I asked why you smoked?"

"I'm an addict, you see. I don't want to, but I kind of have to now. Same with caffeine and alcohol, but less so in my case. Eadie's dabbled with it in the past but he's clean now." I sigh. That sigh's laced with a lot of regret and emotion, along with a little smoke. "Probably not a good idea to get involved."

I feel a tap on my shoulder. Probably one of the girls. Turning around, I see that it's not actually a girl at all, but Jaune and Eadie. He's wearing full gladiatorial armor this time (his helmet's even got that cool red plume), with a bulky sword attached to a sheath at his hip. He's wearing the shield on his back like a turtle wears it's shell.

"Nice, dude. That's what I'm talking about right there. How's school been so far?" We bump fists, then transition into an upwards handshake. Blake looks on incredulously as if observing a bizarre ritual.

"It's been alright so far. Jaune and Pyrrha were nice enough to offer to help me learn to fight."

Jaune puts a hand to the back of his head and smiles sheepishly. "I don't know how helpful I'm going to be on that front, but Pyrrha insisted on having me there. Don't know why though."

For God's sake, are you ever going to catch on, Jaune? The only way Pyrrha could make it more obvious would be to erect a neon arrow pointing to her vagina. Jaune turns his attention from me to Blake. "Didn't you say that you were going on some kind of raid tonight?" he mutters under his breath. Blake nods in response. Oh yeah, that.

"Hey, Eadie. We're going to be away for the last class, and we might be away for the morning. If we're not back by lunchtime we're probably dead. But keep it quiet, alright?" Eadie simply nods.

"Alright." Classic Eadie. He's always been overly relaxed, so his response doesn't set off any alarms. "If you don't mind telling me, what are you doing?"

Glancing at Blake out of the corner of my eye, she shakes her head. This is the moment of truth. Do I lie to my old friend or do I betray my new friends? Maybe I could meet both of them halfway?

"I can't tell you what we're doing, but I can tell you where we'll be." Blake shakes her head yet again, and my attention turns to her. "Blake, perhaps it would be in our best interest to have a person who knows where we'll be? If we get stuck there he can send backup. Maybe that isn't a terrible idea." Blake raises her hand to protest, but she reconsiders and hands Eadie a map with scribbles, marks and coordinates on it, all drawn in fat red marker.

"Here's where we'll be. But," Blake moves suddenly, drawing her Gambol Shroud and lightly pressing the sharp blade against Eadie's neck, "if you tell anyone there'll be hell to pay."

Eadie's face morphs from one of complete apathy to a smirk. Without hesitation, he knees Blake in the stomach, doubling her over. As she looks up Eadie charges her with his massive tower shield, slamming into her and sending her spiralling backwards on the floor. If I was in Blake's position I'd probably be out of Aura already, and I don't want to find out. Quick as a flash she gets back on her feet. The two run at each other, weapons out, which is the moment when I make the executive decision to slap the two into the air simultaneously with my Tear Hands (register trademark). They cough and splutter, taken completely my surprise. I put on my coldest front and prepare for a little speech.

"That's enough, both of you. Blake, don't threaten my friend. Eadie, don't hurt my friends. Now, maybe you can try to get along. Or if not, at least tolerate each other."

The two of them mumble apologetically under their breaths (apologising to me, not to the other perpetrator, I notice). I offer my normal hands and help to pull the two off the ground. "Guys, we're adults. We can act like them. Now, Blake, let's go. We've got shit to do. Eadie, keep it quiet please. We can't get anyone else involved. This is deep shit, you understand? Knee deep."

"Knee deep." he repeats and nods. "Got it. Good luck, you two. Oh," at this he extends his hand towards Blake, "I'm sorry, Blake. We got off on the wrong foot, so let's redo this. Hi, I'm Eadie. Nice to meet you." Eadie smiles, a smile that looks genuine enough. Blake responds by lightly tapping his open palm with her knuckles.

"Blake. Sorry about that. I'll see you around." With that, she turns sharply and walks off.

"The hell's up with her?"

"Don't even ask, Eadie. We couldn't understand women in our dimension, there's little to no chance that'll happen here."

I notice that Jaune's just been standing back, watching the whole spectacle, awe etched onto his face. Eadie rejoins him and they begin heading off, presumably to train. I shout at both of them before they leave my field of vision. "I'll see you guys around. Up for a tournament soon?" They both turn and nod their heads in response.

Huh. The more I think I know about my team, the more chances they have to surprise me. Well, I can agree with both Blake and Eadie on one thing. It's nice to start again once in awhile.

. . . . .

"We're leaving in an hour, Com. In the meantime, get your stuff ready."

"On it, Blake. Do you have a copy of the plan laying about anywhere? I want to make sure I don't stuff up."

"Uhh, I have one, but I'll need it. I'll go run off a copy." And with that Blake disappears to get another copy of the plan, the click-clacking of her heels gradually fading into the distance. I look over to Yang, the only one left in the room.

"Oi Yang. How the fuck can Weiss and Blake fight in heels?" I'm lying on Ruby's bunk bed, since she isn't here, and it's more comfortable than the floor. Ruby and Weiss are making a few last-minute preparations with team JNPR in their room, so Ruby'll never know. Plus I like bunk beds, they're so much more fun than other beds, while less practical for one person's use. Yang is sitting on her bunk, reading one of Blake's 'adult novels'. It's strange how women get off when compared to men. While men have 'special-interest gentlemen's films' and 'fine-quality gentleman's periodicals', women seem to prefer literature and other similar mediums. It works, sure, it just doesn't seem as effective. Not lewd enough for my sensibilities.

"I have no idea, Com. I tried to, but I tripped over and fell more times then I successfully landed a hit. I wouldn't recommend it."

"Well, duh, I'm no crossdresser, I don't need to worry about that. Is that book any good?"

"Yeah, it's alright. I'm not actually reading the book properly, I've just skipped to a lewd section."

My interest now piqued, I lean on one arm to get a direct view of Yang. "What's happening right now."

"You don't want to know." Yang says with a devilish grin.

"I do though."

"I warned you. I'll read a segment. 'He took her in his manly arms, wrapping her nearly-naked body in a tight embrace.' Want me to continue?"

"Yes. Definitely."

"'He ripped off her black panties, part of her uniform, and proceeded to *#^$*# her $#&!&*$ till she &#($!^ all over the floor.' Well, I never suspected that Blake would be such a closet freak."

I jump off of the bed and snatch the book out of Yang's hands. "I need to borrow this for a second."

"Okay, why though?"

"I need to crank one out so that I don't need to worry about bone-ons while on the mission. 'Scuse me." I bustle towards the bathrooms and close the door. My trousers are round my ankles when I hear a knock on the door. I sigh heavily. "Yang, don't you know not to interrupt a man during his special happy time?"

"Well, Com, maybe instead of using that book, I could help out instead?" Yang says this in her most innocent voice, like she was volunteering to draw me a bath or make me some tea.

"Ughgh. Fiiiine. If you have to." YES YES YES YES YES. I reach over and unlock the door, letting Yang in. She gazes into my eyes with some serious intensity as her hand strays into...particularly delicate areas, and begins stroking me (for lack of a better description). As Yang's hand motions increase in intensity and rapidity, my breathing follows suit. This continues for four or so minutes, and I get incredibly close to letting go at a couple of points, but I tough it out, because it looks like both Yang and myself are enjoying ourselves.

"Umm..." I look over to the origin of the voice, and I notice several things at once:

We neglected to close the door to the bathroom.

We neglected to lock either door.

Blake, Weiss and Ruby have all entered the room.

They are all looking at us with mixtures of shock and (in Blake's case, at least,) slight arousal.

While I'm staring right back at them, Yang hasn't noticed yet.

"U-umm, Yang?"

"Hmm?" Yang stops momentarily and looks at my panicked face as I gesture with my eyes towards the other girls. She catches on after a second and makes eye contact with the girls, releasing me from her hold. I quickly pull my pants and trousers back up, coughing loudly.

"Hi."

Weiss, Blake and Ruby don't respond even a little, still staring at us. Yang seems a little irritated.

"What? Can't you tell that we're busy? You ever heard of knocking?"

"Uhhhhh, the door was open...sooooo..." Ruby looks incredibly uncomfortable, and I don't blame her one bit, considering she just walked in on her half-sister giving their teammate a wristy.

"That's true, I guess...next time, we should probably do that, Com."

"Hey, don't look at me! You entered last! But I'll keep it in mind." I hear Jaune's voice down the hall, along with various footsteps, increasing in volume. "Hey guys, what's the holdup? We're going to be late!"

"Uh, c-coming, Jaune, sorry. Something kinda cropped up." Well, shit. I just succeeded in making the upcoming mission much more awkward. Oh well, Yang doesn't seem embarrassed at all, she even looks a little proud, giving me a cheeky smile and a wink as we leave to get our weapons. If she's not embarrassed, then I shouldn't be either.

. . . . .

Time for a cheeky double upload since this chapter was shorter than most. Look out for that.