A/N: Gave you a longer one since it's been awhile. Just wasn't feeling the love.
It is easier for Olivia to love Elliot this way. She didn't have to look at him, and when she did he is too busy grunting in pleasure to notice. And it was a…distantly pleasurable way to stimulate him. She didn't have to veil her own discomfort to make him happy, because there isn't stimulation for herself. And besides…it's pretty hot to say that she got badass Stabler begging and pleading for her to continue.
"Fuck!" he hisses through clenched teeth, lifting his hips off the bed just to get them pinned down by his partner.
She hadn't realized how hard and fast she was going. She just tried to get Casey out of her mind, that look of betrayal, that quivering pout of self-degradation and humiliation. She couldn't shun it so she bobs with more force, overlooking the burn of Elliot down her throat, but still that loud cry of Casey admitting that was all she wanted from Olivia, had the detective's brow furrowing.
"Babe…L-Liv-" Elliot has no idea what Olivia is thinking about- she has to be thinking of something with the concentrated look on her face- but whatever it is, she should think of it all the time because feels his release plummeting with a powerful force.
Olivia finds her eyes rolling in annoyance, confused by the involuntary movement. She wants to get Casey out of her head, out of her life since she's dangerously close, but she wanted Elliot to shut the hell up there. And to think she'd do anything to get Casey's voice out of her head; the irony is baffling.
"Liv…L-Liv."
She wishes he stops calling her name like that, all helpless and wanting, vulnerable. There is only one reason Elliot succumbs to her this willingly, she thinks; he does this because he feels safe, as if he is the only lucky man on earth that has her. Though technically speaking it is true, she'll never look twice at another man after Elliot, but there is someone else, someone Olivia sadly can't have anymore, that has her begging and screaming and writhing off the bed. Someone she could fall for…
And that scared her into calling Casey a whore… What a shame!
"Liv!"
She hears the urgency in her partner's voice and the convulsing shakes in his hips, and knows he's ready. Not looking forward for a 'mess'- something Elliot is too stimulated to control- she grabs his member and shifts up and down, waiting impatiently for Elliot to finish.
Finally, she thinks impassively.
He finally finishes, with Olivia cleaning up both Elliot and her hand. He looks utterly spent and it brings a frown upon her face. Why can't he do this to her? Why can't he let her feel every waking nerve alive and then drive her to bliss and satiation? Why did she have to go through drastic measures to receive her pleasures?
Why do you have to be so perfect…
Her mind tosses these questions all throughout her mind, some screaming at her, while others whisper pleadingly with her. She didn't realize where she was until she feels her partner's arm pull her on the bed that she realizes that he isn't Casey. That no matter what, the A.D.A will never forgive her for what she said.
And that will go well-deserved, but the perspicuity of the issue doesn't make it hurt any less.
"Damn Liv," he mumbles with that goofy smile while she plasters her own, not exactly feeling this moment.
All she feels is guilt and despair; a feeling that apparently shows on her face. "What's wrong, babe?" he asks, brows furrowing as his hands run up her bare legs.
She couldn't tell him; she has to eventually, considering things changed and gotten more complicated, but not now. Not when Elliot looks like he is on the top of the world, but just…not…now. She softly shakes her head leaning in for a kiss that Elliot surprisingly moves away from.
"Liv," His tone grows low as does his brow. "You've been…distant lately."
"What?" she replies shakily, feeling her throat close in. She thought she's been clandestine about the whole cheating-on-him- thing. Apparently not. "I'm not, I'm here with you. Baby," she hears the skittishness in her laugh and she prays Elliot doesn't pick up on it.
"No Liv," his voice goes even lower with a slight growl at its trail. "We haven't talked in so long-"
"I'm talking to you right now," she tries to smile but she couldn't hold back the temptation to bite the inside of her cheek.
He gives her that look over as he straddles and Olivia plasters a moan. She needs to show that she's interested, that she still cares, that their relationship is perfect and not endangered. But she can't do this for long…her stomach is tight with knots.
The heavens ring when she hears her phone go off on the nightstand and she wished she didn't visually stretch to get it. She loves Elliot, she…likes Casey, and she hurt the both of them because of it.
"Benson," she states evenly.
She furrows her brow when she hears cracks and sobs over the intercom. "H-Hello?" she asks taking a look at her screen to gasp at the name displayed on it. "Casey?"
"S-She's gone Liv," she sobs some more. "Emily is gone and I can't find her and-"
"What?" Olivia's eyes goes wide as she pushes Elliot off of her to leap on her on feet. "Emily's what?" The words weren't processing; little Emily can't be gone. She just saw her not but an hour ago.
"She's gone Liv and I checked e-everywhere and I'm so scared! I can't-"
"Casey calm down-" Olivia reassures as she scurries to put her pants on with a phone wedged between her ear and shoulder.
"Don't tell me to calm down!" she hisses and Olivia immediately feels the guilt strike her heart. She can't imagine how Casey feels right now, all alone and worried; frantic about her daughter. "My baby is missing and no one's found her and I can't find her-"
"Casey, please," she pleads as she throws her v-neck over her head.
"Liv," she hears Elliot hiss from behind her and she throws him an exasperated glance. She doesn't have time for his mundane issues.
The loud, frantic crying continues in her intercom, where Olivia could barely hear herself say "Casey- please relax! Are you home? Casey…" with a sigh and a reinforced check of her badge and gun in place, she's already walking out. "I'm on my way." She hangs up.
"Liv- shit, wait up!" Elliot is struggling to get dressed when he rushes over to Olivia's side.
"What El?" she growls out, sick of his selfishness. A child is missing- Casey's child, someone she's already met, is missing.
"What's going on?" He looks concerned and Olivia doesn't even feel a pinch of guilt for it. She has more important things to worry about.
"Casey's seven-year old daughter is missing. Now I need to help her," Her voice trails when she walks around Elliot, ready to leave her apartment, but stops when he blocks the door.
"Wha- that's crazy!" he furrows his brow, tone incredulous. "Casey doesn't-"
"Yes she does, and her name is Emily, and I have to find her," she shoves the senior detective out of the way and walks out to have him by her side.
"I'm coming with-"
"No!" she spills out rather desperately, turning around to find a confused detective. "I mean…" she closes her eyes as she shakes her head. She couldn't bring Elliot with her, to remind Casey that she has no one, not even her daughter apparently. It'll be nice to have an extra set of eyes for scoping, but not for Casey's health.
"I'll handle it…"
Casey feels her chest choke her heart as she runs back to her apartment. She's been everywhere- the park, every store in a nine block radius, the Laundromat, anywhere that Emily is familiar with, and nothing. Her daughter is gone, with lord knows who and the thought of her with someone, a stranger, a convict, a pedophile, has her shaking as she cries to her doorman.
"Oh my god- she's-"
"Ms. Novak?" The college student could barely hold on to her but some she knows can. And thank god this woman was behind her, now holding her back, spinning her into the strong chest.
Casey couldn't even tell Olivia what happened, like a good mother would; long tears of sorrow, embarrassment, and vivacious anger burns through her eyes and throat. Her hands find the collar of the detective's leather jacket, forming them into fists.
Olivia is telling her it was going to be okay, that she was going to find Emily, but none of that seems to retain in her mind. She sees the world with unbind eyes, everyday with filth placed on her desk, and she knows that Olivia's voice could be optimistic ignorance- a lie. Emily could be gone, in a ditch, in an older man's bedroom…
"Liv," she leaps out of her arms, nearly dropping from the lack of support, and shakes violently. "M-My daughter…she can't…s-she just can't!" And the more of the thought of Emily not being gone, the lighter Casey's heart feels. "She can't…she's probably…I don't know but she's not gone. She just…she just can't."
"Casey." Olivia's voice is warm, soft and velvet in ear, but something behind her expression, those dark intense eyes, tells Casey that what she could be saying isn't true. That she was going to try everything in her power to retrieve her daughter, but she couldn't make any promises. Just the thought of it sinks the tiny bit of hope back to the raw edges of her heart.
"Hey," Olivia draws her attention to the nervous doorman as she flashes her badge. "You know Emily, right?"
"Yes, yes, but I told Ms. Novak that I just started my shift."
Casey bites her lip to stop the quivering, but it just builds the pressure to jump violently. She needs someone, someone to tell her that Emily is okay, that she is playing with her best friend Brittany. That she's breathing…
"I need you to contact the last doorman, and show me your surveillance cameras," Casey growls out, trying to gain her voice. Trying to be a good mother.
"I-I can't do that," goes his skittish reply, and before she could stop herself, before she could regulate her flaring temper, she has his collar in her fists, not in the desperate sense of agony in there way she held the detective's, but in contempt; in undeserved anger toward the young man that she couldn't explain.
"What do you mean, you can't do that?" she hisses back as she charges the frantic man's back into the door. "Do you know the average time duration for deaths after child abduction?" she growls out, ignoring the pull she feels from her shoulder and Olivia calling her name. "Twenty-four hours. I have twenty-fours to stop my baby from being lost, or killed, or rape –"
"Casey!" Olivia's voice is just as dark, just as strained with emotion as the redhead's. It silences the ginger, but she couldn't stop her involuntary shaking. She feels cool hands grace her knuckles as the detective, slowly unwraps Casey's fingers from the timid doorman's collar, one by one.
"What he meant was that he literally can't grant you that information," she sadly informs. "Doormen don't authorize the security tapes. That's the landlord's –"
Casey didn't need to hear anymore. She is already dashing in her lobby until she feels a strong harm coiled around her waist and a forceful pull backward.
"Casey relax!"
The ginger roughly makes a pivot turn and shoves the detective with a loud grunt. "Don't you tell me to relax! My baby is gone! I n-need," the urge to curse out the detective deadens when the ache of abandonment rips her soul. She needs to find her daughter; without her is like having no air. "I n-need my baby…"
She sees the sympathy in Olivia's eyes; a look she gives to hundreds of women and children but the A.D.A never thought it would involve her own. She wants to run, damn search the whole galaxy for her daughter, but the small hint of common sense tells her the detective will just tousle her to the wall and pin her there until she pacifies herself, which will delay more time to find her Emily.
So she'll be quiet. Anything to get her daughter back.
Luckily Olivia was still close to Alex Cabot, who thankfully put this on top of the amber alert list; having Emily's face on all news channels at all showings. At any other time Olivia would've sucked her teeth at the nepotism brought on by wealth, but now this was Casey's child, a friend, perhaps someone even more and she'd do anything to get the little ginger back and safe.
Olivia and the team are with Casey in the precinct, trying to think rationally for the whereabouts of Emily, Elliot silent and stoic– which doesn't surprise Olivia– until Munch inadvertently brings up the father. She could see the ginger uncomfortably stiffen and her green eyes widen as she zealously shakes her head, that Casey didn't tell the father yet, and is probably horrified of his reaction. As much as Olivia wanted to do that for her and take all this pain away, if she was a parent she wouldn't want to hear tragic news from a stranger– let alone a cop.
"He's not in the picture?" Munch continues to ask and Casey gives him a dark glare. Olivia wants to mirror the expression, show the idiot that he was obviously upsetting her, but she couldn't because he was doing his job and asking the appropriate questions.
Olivia heaves a sigh and takes the ginger's hand, noting the small digits quivering in her palm. "It's okay," Olivia whispers in the ginger's ear, failing to soothe the distraught mother who bursts into tears. She's already there to hold the frail beauty and holds a deep breath as she rubs the shivering back.
"He's in the picture but he and Casey aren't together. Trever Merrick," Olivia assumes, though she didn't catch a last name. She's seen Emily's last name, Merrick, displayed a million times on the screen this evening on numerous channels so she assumed that was his last name. "She sees…" She looks down at the young women cradled in her neck and takes a breath through her nose. She doesn't want to spread of Casey's business; obviously the A.D.A didn't want that considering none of them knew she had a child, but she'd do anything to hear Emily's youthful laughter again. "She sees Emily every other week and they alternate holidays."
Munch, Cragen, and Fin all dart eyes with the ginger, not in a way that shows judgment, but in mere curiosity of what seems to be odd in custody battles, but Elliot's lies cold on Olivia's to an intensity that temporarily stuns her out of the caring embrace she shares with Casey. But she darts her eyes back to Casey, a little too quickly for her liking– and apparently his as well.
They continue to ask the procedurals and give off compassionate, but routine, advice and peptallks. Casey knows it's trivial, that's why she shows almost no reaction to what her peers were saying, unless it was something vital into bringing the whereabouts of her daughter.
"Do you have anyone that you could stay with?" Cragen asks, putting on his softest voice to match with his concerning brown eyes.
Again the ginger stiffens within the brunette's chest and Olivia immediately knows the answer. Before Elliot, she knew what that was like to walk home to an empty apartment and wallow within her own misery. "She could stay with me," she replies evenly, looking down to find wide eyes lie whimsical on her as they finally peek from the detective's shoulder. Surprise is the undertone of her brokenness and despair in her gaze, but she grins down at her and whispers "We're going to find her" before she settles her eyes on the Captain.
When the phone rings Casey sprouts up like spewing lava, attentiveness and hope glaring in her green eyes as she gazes at Munch who picks up the phone.
"Special Victims." Munch's wrinkled face winces as he moves the phone from his ear. "Yes sir- I unders— sir. Fine." He hangs up the phone and announces "That was Trevor Merrick. He just…he must've found out the news and he's on his way here from Aspen."
Casey's lips quivers as she tries to bite on it to suppress it. She's horrified and though it's clearly not her fault, he won't see it that way. And apparently Cragen sees that and gives her leniency. "I'll handle him. Go home." He then shifts his gaze to his subordinate and says "In fact, stay with Benson. We still don't know if she wandered off or someone has a vendetta against you or him, so I want you safe. Everyone else; get some shut eye in the cribs. I want us up bright and early tomorrow."
She seems to be okay with that when she nods and relaxes into Olivia's touch, but her boyfriend apparently doesn't feel that way.
When the detectives scurry up the stairs, Elliot remains pinned in his seat as he stalks the two of them, leaning against the edge of her desk. Again Olivia grows shaky and unsettled at the fiery gaze her boyfriend gives her.
"Can I talk to you in private?" he asks, voice just as brisk as his expression.
Olivia looks down at Casey whose head is still clutched in the nook of her neck, then back up at the senior detective and replies "Can this wait?" tilting down at the ginger to emphasize her point.
But apparently he wants to irk her nerves. "Five minutes," again those two words are cold and brisk, but now Olivia mirrors it with her cold browns setting on his blue. The nerve this man had to do this in front of a grieving mother's presence was baffling.
"Later" is all she says but the hardened jaw, the knitted brow, and the intensity in her brown orbs show the epitome of her defiance. She is not to be messed with.
Defiance, she thinks, is one thing she and Elliot always had in common, and sometimes it worked to their advantage of a case, and others, like this, crumbled their relationship. There won't be one if he keeps acting like this.
He lets out a huff through his nostrils and glares at Casey, as if she did something, before he stands up and heads for the cribs. When she hears the loud slamming of the door upstairs, she feels a vibration and hot breath rumble against her chest.
"What's that, honey?" Olivia asks, looking down at the woman who is nestled against her chest like a newborn baby.
"I said I'm sorry," she whispers, and Olivia somehow knows she isn't just talking about Elliot. Casey might think this is all her fault, but Olivia knows she's the best mother Emily could ever have, and she didn't neglect to tell the A.D.A. the truth.
"We'll find her. I promise."
A/N: What happened to the love? I get a lot of hits but no reviews. Those little notes inspire me to move faster and if I should continue. So review if you want more.
