Chapter 9

Jumping forward to Anika and Carlos' Wedding

Conrad

As I drive us down the interstate towards Anika's hometown, where she will be getting married later today, a flash of movement grabs my attention from my peripherals. Belly, who has been asleep for the past forty-five minutes, is awake now and she must've took her hair out of it's braid because her hair is whipping around in the wind from the open window. She always takes her hair down if the windows are down. It makes her look wild and free, which she is.

She looks thoughtful and carefree and I know for a fact that she does not know how effortlessly beautiful she is, and maybe that is a good thing, because if she knew she certainly wouldn't be with me.

I think she will be one of those women who ages beautifully, like my mom. Like she will look like a forty-year-old when she is in her mid-fifties.

She catches me staring at her and pushes her wild hair out of her face. Her smile is playful, almost challenging as she winks at me from her side of the car. Her brown hair catches light from the sun that has just risen over the trees. The morning light on the side of her face that is hidden from me lines the profile of her face with a golden hue, making her look like a fairy that knows all the secrets in the world. Or maybe even an angel.

"Good morning." I say to her and she rewards me with a smile again.

"How much longer?" She asks me as she props her feet up on the dashboard.

"About another hour." I say to her. She leans up so that she can reach the radio and turns up an Eagles song.

She bobs her head as she listens to the infamous guitar solo in 'Hotel California', I used to try to play it like them. Never could though.

Her actions take me back to when she and Jeremiah danced to that god-awful Britney Spears song all those years ago. Back when they were trying to help me with my exams. I fiercely remember how much it bothered me that Jeremiah was flirting with her on that trip. I mean, I knew that he liked her, it just didn't seem like I would actually ever let him have her.

Thinking about it now I couldn't believe that I had let him have her twice. The first time I told him her could have her in the hotel after the storm. The second time was on their wedding day after he told me to say goodbye to her and made me agree that I would never see either of them again.

Looking over at my girl now, I couldn't imagine ever letting her down or hurting her ever again, and especially couldn't imagine letting her go.

We are almost to the Holiday Inn Express. I don't know what makes this particular Holiday Inn an Express, but we were bound to find out. I wonder idly if there even was a difference. It was one of two hotels in the small town and it had one more star than the other. It had three stars to the others two. Three out of five was definitely preferable to two out of five.

The whole "getting a hotel room together" thing was an awkward subject to breach. Belly had been giving me plenty of signals that suggested that she was ready for more, but she always has been ready for more when it came to us.

The thing is, is that I am too. Boy am I ready to be close with her. But I have only been reunited with her for three months, which I know sounds like nothing in comparison to how long I have known her. It just didn't feel right. It felt too early, too soon. I didn't want to mess this up again.

I felt as though I had a lot of making up to do for her. I wouldn't want to take advantage of her and her forgiving nature.

While I drove closer to town I contemplated the weekend, and the choices that I would prevent from being made. This was the first formal function that I was taking Belly to since her prom.

Her prom.

Her prom night is one of my biggest regrets that I have ever had. I can honestly say that I am a man who doesn't regret much. I am usually comfortable with my decisions and know exactly what I want, but that night is the night that makes me cringe at a single thought.

I can still remember the look in her eyes that night when I wanted to leave. I was so angry that she could see through me. I was angry that I couldn't be there for her. I couldn't even be there for myself.

Belly's whole prom felt like a foggy dream. There is not much about it that I can remember. I was lost in worry and thought. I saw my mom the night before and I had never seen her look so sick. I mean, she had been sick for a while and had spouts of good days and bad, but that night she looked too thin. Too tired. Too pale.

She was in her bedroom talking to my dad on the phone. Work had called him out of town for that weekend, and he was playing the role of concerned husband by calling to check in on her. Used to, he wouldn't call her until he was on his way back.

I was walking by her room to go to my room and I stopped when I heard her voice. She hadn't talked much that day. She was nauseated from the chemo and couldn't hold anything down. So hearing her talk made me stop still to listen to her. I stood against the wall outside of her opened door. I closed my eyes and tried to hear everything about her voice. The inflection of excitement when she liked something you told her, and she wanted to make you feel like it was the most special and wonderful thing in the world. The noise she made before she laughed. And especially her laugh. Jeremiah was good at making mom laugh. When I was home I liked sharing a room with them just to hear it.

Then her voice grew sad. She was crying, "Adam, it will be okay… yes… oh, I love you too…You know that it is okay…. Yes you do…" And there… My mom, having cancer, was having to placate and sooth my father and here she was the one dying. And then I thought past my annoyance at my father's weak character. My mom is dying.

Prom faded into the background. I wanted so badly to yell or punch something. It was so unfair. My mom was supposed to see me graduate, get married, and have kids. And every day she grew sicker and I just knew she was not going to be here much longer. She was going to miss my life.

I was going to a high school prom and nothing seemed more disgusting to me than that. Besides my dad and his stupidity. I was going to have to pretend to be happy with Belly, and I wasn't good at pretending.

That night Belly looked beautiful. She looked like she stepped out of another time. She came down the stairs and I fidgeted uncomfortably, because I just wasn't in any mood to be around anyone.

I forgot Belly's corsage and Steve's date had given Belly something as a replacement. That was something else that soured my mood further. How quickly I was able to disappoint her.

It was after that happened that made me really not want to go. I debated on leaving as soon as we left Laurel's sight. I doubted that she would have forgiven me for leaving Belly dateless on her first prom night ever.

Belly was still hopeful while she glanced over at me and put her hand in the middle seat between us, in hopes that I would hold her hand. It wasn't something I was in the mood for either. So I didn't take it.

I didn't do a lot of things that night. And it was the night we broke up. It was a night I really didn't want to break up. But it was for the best. She would have wound up hating me by the time my mom did die anyways.

Little did Belly know that this time. This time, at a formal function as her date, I was going to get it right.

I had pre-ordered a small corsage that matched her light yellow bridesmaids dress.

I had planned on charming her college friends and give her what she has wanted for so long. I would be a good boyfriend and I would deserve the title.

"Watcha thinking about?" Belly asked. Bringing me back to her.

"You." I answered simply.

"Me? Why Conrad, I am ever so flattered." Belly said smiling and truly looking flattered.

"Well even you know that flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it, but don't swallow it." I replied hoping to rile her up.

"Well! I was going to say that flattery will get you everywhere, but no keep talking Fisher." Belly said shaking her head and grimacing. I loved a riled up Belly. She always said and did the funniest things. It was just cute.

"Oh, and you have dust on your nose, oh wait." I said licking my thumb and attempting to swipe the freckles on the bridge of her nose.

"Excuse me. I don't think so." She said grabbing my thumb and pulling it to her mouth to bite it lightly.

I feigned hurt feelings.

"Ouch. Rude." I said trying and failing to hide my amusement.

"Darn right. I am rude." She said turning to stick my tongue out at him.

"Still a child." I said smiling at her.

"You are so… so… annoying." Belly said taking her feet off of my dash. Then she smiled like she had an idea.

"I guess I will have to call Benito and tell him that I have changed my mind about his offer. Oh wait, we will see him later so I can tell him then." She had a smug smile on her face as she crossed her arms.

I chuckled because it was outrageous.

She is referencing the night we all went out for a celebratory dinner and Benito had asked Belly to go with him to the pier. She said sure, and went since I had told her that I wasn't threatened by him the day before.

They came back twenty minutes later, which to me felt more like two hours.

Jeremiah's grin and hooded eyes of spite didn't help. He was still as crazy about her as ever. He just hid it from her well, and I only tolerated it because he was my little brother.

Benito looked forlorn and Belly looked embarrassed. The entire table was so quiet that the noises from their scooting chairs made everything even more awkward.

Belly looked at me like, "What on earth?" I was curious about what happened, but I didn't want to ask at the table.

Then my mind went straight to the thought that he made a move. I cut my eyes at him and gripped the edge of the table. I turned back to Belly.

"Did he touch you?" I whispered vehemently.

"No." She replied, taken aback by my question.

I calmed and glared at him once more for good measure. He noticed the glare, but had the decency not to provoke my bad temper any further. Smart guy.

"So… who wants to go home and camp out on the beach?" Steven asked, breaking the silence. He was trying to make things less awkward.

"Me bro." Jeremiah said smiling from ear to ear.

"Alright." Steven said offering Jere a fist to bump.

"What about you Con?" Steve asked with a smile that didn't match with the tenseness around his eyes.

"No." I said quickly. Steve didn't ask any further.

Belly poked my arm to get my attention. I looked down at her and she wrapped her arms around my bicep and rested her chin on my shoulder. I could tell she was happy. Yes, Belly I get jealous. I know, I thought internally. I rolled my eyes at her and smiled. She smiled bigger and kissed my arm and I felt even calmer than before.

I smiled down at her and then turned back to Steve who looked fidgety.

"Steve, camping sounds good." He smiled in triumph.

Benito's proposal was for Belly to run away with him back to Spain. Belly said that she laughed at him and it was awkward because he was being serious. She apologized and suggested that they head back to dinner.

We arrived at the hotel at ten. Belly had to be at the church by eleven, so she quickly showered and dressed in the bathroom. She comes out and is wearing her bridesmaid button up, "uniform", as I call it. She says it looks cute in pictures. Not that I needed to know.

She wore cut-off shorts that were super short and her uniform shirt almost hid them completely. Her legs went on and on. She towel-dried her hair and brushed it out. She didn't have any makeup on, and she didn't need it. That is how I had always known her, without makeup. Tanned face and natural, but as she is a woman now, and woman do wear makeup. It was something I was getting used to. I was just glad that she never had to worry about it with me.

She reached for the bag that held her dress. Then she turned to me.

"Be there at 2:30 so that I can see you in your snazzy clothes before the wedding." She reminded me.

"Yes, baby." I said from the bed. I was watching a fishing show. Wait, I just said baby… but I have never said that to anyone before. I especially had never called Belly that, even when I joked around with her. Her eyes were as wide as mine. She hid her surprise like nothing happened.

"Was that weird?" I asked, extremely embarrassed about what just happened.

Belly walked over to me with a small and shy smile.

"No, I loved it." She whispered as she leaned down to kiss me.

"Okay, baby." I said back to her and her face broke into an even bigger smile.

"Okay, baby." She replied with a smile.

Her phone buzzed in her hand.

"Oh no, I have to go. Taylor has been downstairs for five minutes waiting to pick me up." She made an oops face.

Her panic was cute. I smiled fondly.

"I guess you'd better hurry then." I said sarcastically.

"I love you! Bye!" She said over her shoulder as she ran towards the door.

"I love you too." I called after her retreating form. And then when the door clicked shut behind her I thought, we didn't wait to say, I love you. I shook my head. Still doesn't make it the right time.

I went to pick up the corsage at 2:00 and the lady at the florist smiled when I told her that it was for my girlfriend.

"Corsages are all the rage with them hipsters who go on dates with their girls who wear those big squared glasses and old dresses. You know the type. Is this what you are doing? You don't look like the type." The old lady says. She has a candor that I usually enjoy. She seems to say whatever pops into her mind.

"Well I am not hipster. I just owe my girl a corsage." I say handing her my debit card.

I check my reflection in a ginormous, shiny black truck before I walk to the side of the church were the girls have been getting ready all day.

Taylor, who is here today to do the girls makeup comes out as I am waiting outside of the door.

She is texting when she finally notices me. "Oh, Conrad. Let me go get Belly." She offers disappearing back into the room.

"Thanks." I say fidgeting with my tie with the hand that isn't holding the corsage box.

Belly comes out looking like an angelic fairy. Her hair is swept back into a low up-do. She is not wearing too much makeup. Just enough to highlight what is already there.

"Belly…" I am at a loss for something to say.

She looks me up and down raising an eyebrow.

"Conrad." She says provocatively.

I smirk at her.

"Belly you look breathtaking. Like I don't know what to say." I admit.

It was like when I saw her outside before my mom's garden opening ceremony at the Women's Center. Belly looked unreachable, until I saw the band aid on her knee.

Here I am again looking for some sign of this angel being my Belly.

She spins for me once and her skirt blossoms up around her.

"Why thank you. You look great too." She says smiling and scrunching her nose in the way she does – there she is, I thought.

"I have this for you." I said reaching out to hand her the box.

"Conrad." She says breathless.

"I owe you, one corsage and a night full of dancing." I say hoping I did well.

She doesn't say anything as she crushes herself to me.

"Can I?" I ask. She nods and hands the box back to me.

I take her thin and delicate wrist in my hand and slip on the small corsage in one move.

She touches the small Gerber daisies with her left hand. Then I take a small box out of my jacket pocket and hand it to her.

"Now pin me." I say offering her the lapel of my jacket

She opens the box and pulls out a matching daisy to pin to my coat. She furrows her brow in concentration as she does it.

"Don't stab me." I plead.

"You'd be so lucky." She responds.

When she is done she steps back to observe her handiwork.

"Now people know you're my girl." I say kissing her hand. The hand the corsage is on.

"I love you." She says simply.

"I love you." I agree, then add, "I know you have to go, so I am going to go find my seat." I say kissing her once more in retreat.

She smiles and walks backward into the room. I smile back at her. I always hate leaving her.

I make my way to the congregation so that I can be ushered to my seat. A small, somewhere around a ten-year-old, boy leads the way and I smile down at him as he counts the aisles.

"Know which one is mine?" I ask.

He rolls his eyes.

"Yes." He says offended.

I enjoy his offense.

He looks up at me and raises an eyebrow.

"Why are you wearing a girl's flower? You aren't in the wedding." The boy asks bewildered that am wearing a flower when I don't have to.

"Why? You are wearing one?" I ask him.

He shakes his head. "I am Anika's little brother. I have to dress up and look nice. Not that girl flowers are so nice." He says as we make it to the aisle. He makes a point to eye my corsage again.

"You are seat number four. Don't think for second that I won't notice is you go to three or five." The little boy says.

"I wouldn't dare." I say chuckling.

The little boy pauses and walks away and then pauses again just to make sure I didn't move.

I smile and wave.

The church begins filling up. I check my phone and the wedding is supposed to start in ten minutes, not that I know much about weddings. I have only heard that they normally run behind.

Not this one though. The wedding starts right on cue and all of the people turn to watch the family members get escorted by the groomsmen and younger ushers. This wedding was bigger than I expected.

It feels like forever before the wedding party actually comes out. The groomsmen and Carlos come out of a side door towards the back of the church. Carlos is crying and his buddies are trying to get him to stop.

Anika's little brother who is standing up with the guys shakes his head and places his hand on his forehead as if he couldn't believe it.

It makes me chuckle, so I have to place my hand over my mouth to hide my smile.

Anika's mom must've scolded him because the little boy is waving his hands in the direction of Carlos and mouthing, "What? What is that all about?" It makes a couple of the older men laugh and Anika's mom turns to scold them too.

I shrink down in my seat so that I won't get caught smiling.

The music starts again and it prompts everyone to turn around. I turn. Luckily I am sitting beside a single mom and her two small children, who are surprisingly well-behaved. I am able to see over them. The flower girl comes down and she makes everyone laugh because she is really small and adorable. The bridesmaids come down. Belly is third, and she is doing her duty as a bridesmaid by looking happy and proud of being there, which she is. Belly loved everything. I know for a fact that I do have the most beautiful girl in the world. It is hard not to be proud of that. But not only is she the most beautiful, but she is the realest person in the world. She lets me see every side of her, without fear.

Somehow in the big church she spots me and gives me a special smile. I feel so lucky. The mother beside me looks to see who she was smiling at. She smiles when she sees the grin on my face.

We are prompted to stand while Anika comes down the aisle in a long cream gown and long veil to match. Carlos starts sobbing and it makes all of the women in the church cry. The guys beside him are all smiling at Anika and the Benito, who is the best man is rubbing his hands together and tearing up himself.

Anika's father gives her away, warily. He seems to be uncomfortable with Carlos's tears as well. He says what he is supposed to and shuffles to his seat.

Anika's sister is crying too. Let me sum it up. Everyone is crying. Except for most of the American men and some of the other groomsmen.

Anika and Carlos look happy together. They are a good match. She is the solid ground to his light and passionate personality. I only hung out with him for a few days, but he was intrigued by everything. It was a nice change.

They say their vows and kiss. The church erupts in applause and they leave first smiling and laughing. Carlos keeps her in his arms and twirls and dip-kisses her in front of everyone. She blushes, but is okay with the attention.

Carlos's side of the family is much more vocal. They shout to them in Spanish and woot and the women applaud and laugh at him spinning her. This was truly a very happy day in time.

Belly is waiting for me outside of the church doors. She runs into my arms. Her eyes are still puffy from crying at the wedding.

"Wasn't that the sweetest thing you have ever seen?" She asks me.

"It was very emotional." I say deadpan.

She smacks my arm with her bouquet and laughs. "Yeah Connor got a good lecture from his mom after the ceremony for that behavior." Belly says laughing.

"Connor?" I ask.

"Oh, Anika's little brother." She explains.

"Oh yeah, now that was funny. He was saying what we were all thinking. He seems like a cool kid." I say.

"Don't let Gene, Anika's mom, hear that. She will ream you out too." Belly warns.

"Yeah I don't want that to happen." I say placing my hands on her waist.

"I have to take a few pictures and then I will meet you down at the reception hall. It is at that big tent in the field." Belly explains.

"Okay, well I will just follow the crowd." I say sarcastically.

"Conrad Fisher, following the crowd? I never would have thunk it." Belly says making fun of me.

"Yeah, well if you can't beat em' join em'." I say shrugging my shoulders.

"That sounds like solid logic… for someone who doesn't like to work hard." Belly teases further. I love seeing her so happy.

"Yeah well, they actually need me down at the reception tent … so I better get going." I say awkwardly, like she is the one holding me up. I stuff my hands into my pockets and stroll towards the door.

Belly laughs and heads towards the bridal party.

"Can't keep them waiting." Belly says, and I don't know if she is joking about me or being serious about her.

*FIRST OFF THANK YOU! I wanted to get this out early since everyone has been so patient with me over the past few weeks. I hope you enjoy the jump ahead from Conrad's POV. It is fun writing a happy version of him. Thank you for your reviews and for reading! *